Philocaly:

*Wonwoo's POV*

I watch Mingyu enter the car shutting the door beside him, his gentle eyes piercing through mine. He lifts up his hand, waving farewell. I beckon Mingyu goodbye watching the car come to life as the lights turn on and the wheels turn, driving away until his figure inside the car slowly becomes a little dot in the distance. 

I close the door securely and head back to the living room to find my mother and father sitting on the couch. My dad busy reading the newspaper, my mom channel surfing on the TV. 

I bow down to my parents and they smile gesturing for me to sit down beside him. 

"I heard you had a visitor?" my mom asks with her light and humble tone.

I nod my head, pursing my lips. 

My father looks up from his daily tabloid suddenly engrossed into the current conversation.

"A friend? How come I haven't heard about this?" he asks, eyes wide.

"Wait, I've been hearing that you've been hanging out with a boy!" my mom teases poking my chest.

"It's the Mingyu kid." I force out.

"WHAT? AND YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TO INTRODUCE HIM TO YOUR OLD MAN?" he pulls me in scruffing up my hair.

"Well, I didn't exactly think it was the most appropriate time."

"What do you mean?" my mother questions.

"Well, I picked him up from work and--" 

My mom and father are sitting blankly with an odd expression spread across their faces. My mom grinning wide her eyes enlargened. My father on the otherhand. I don't even have the words to describe how ugly he looks. 

"Why are you guys making that expression?"

My mom raises her fists up in the air and squeals with her high pitched voice.

"MY LITTLE BOY HAS A FRIEND AGAIN!" 

"YAAAAAY!" my father bellows.

"So, what's the big deal?" 

"You are making progress! It's great!" 

I shrug my shoulders, not impressed.

"So? It's just one friend." 

"But you like him apparently. I heard you bought him a phone." 

"And today? You saved him from getting molested from some e creep."

I snicker, shaking my head.

"It was nothing I did it for him.."

"You saved him from ual assault. That takes a lot of guts for what you've been through." 

My dad pulls me in and lets my head rest on his chest and I can hear his heart pump blood throughout his whole body, his upper body rising up and down steadily. 

"Don't remind him, that was the past."

Despite the words of my mom, I am brought back to history, my mind replaying each scene like a movie projector going through each section of a film strip. The images are clear in my head, visualizing each scene clearly.

---

I rush over to the cafeteria full of students my eyes looking anxiously for my group of friends. My eyes land on them from afar, I inhale a great amount of air, and walk casually over to the table.

"'Ey! Wonwoo, how you doing?" Seojin asks, greeting me with a handshake. 

"I'm good.." I reply nervously.

"You don't seem like it." Sangwoo says.

"Well, I have something to tell you guys." 

Their ears perk up, attention driven into me. 

I don't know how I'm going to do this..

"I'm..." 

Each one of their eyebrows are raised listening to every breath I take.

"I'm gay.." I suddenly spit out, the words like poison to my tongue. 

"Okay.."

"That's cool." 

"You guys have no problem with it?"

"No.. Not at all.." they smile widely back at me.

I lightly nod my head, feeling the weight lifted off my shoulders.

---

When I enter the school, all eyes are on me. They are all one as I move and I can feel as if people are judging me. 

I walk with my head down until a boy bumps into me, causing me to drop everything in my hands. 

"Watch where you're going ." 

I drop down to pick up all my stuff until something slams into my side ramming it in, causing all the pain and adrenaline to rush everywhere in my body. I look up and I am surrounded by a group of boys staring down at me.

I gasp as I recognize a few boys.

Seojin and Sangwoo.....

"Hey gayboy!" one of them says, and the group erupts in laughter.

They told.. 

They shower me in pieces of paper and I see numbers and numbers on all the scraps. I receive one more blow to my side until I can hear them leaving, only hearing a few muffled words. 

"-numbers of other gays.." 

My next few days were a living hell...

---

The boys who I once knew as my friends began to be my saboteurs. They messed up everything in my locker, made fun of me. 

I thought that was the worse they could do, but next thing I knew people started laughing at me continously. I had to keep my head down through the lockers until I saw what erupted the comedic humour throughout the halls.

A picture of a body with my face pasted on was found, and in black permanent marker wrote, "I'm gay!" with a smiley face next to it. 

I remember running through the halls to the bathroom and locking myself in the stall for the rest of the day crying miserable all alone. Many thoughts went through my head, not all of them good. 

And soon, the world was against me.

They called me retarded. No one talked to me or held out a hand for me to hold in those times of need.

I would beg my mom and dad not to make me go, but all my hopes no longer existed. I was forced to face my fears and with no barrier of protection. I was the type who could defend myself. But they were able to break that wall of dignity that I had, and it crumbled into dust. 

My parents started to notice the change in my personality, the boy who I used to be, didn't exist. My need for security increased, I became colder, and I was rude and rebelled against them.

They took me to a guidance counsellor and she told them about my depression and anxiety. I was forced to come out openly to my parents, but thankfully. They accepted me for who I am and tried to deal with my situation.

My parents contacted the school about the abuse and the board was absolutely furious. 

They forced Seojin and Sangwoo to apologize, and I was never content and satisfied with them, and I don't think I ever will be.

"Sorry,"

I thought I would feel all the pride seeing them bow down on their knees, looking ashamed for their sins but this did not do any good to me. I felt nothing but the deep hatred I had for these two stirring inside my stomach.

But, a part of me needed to forgive them. I couldn't just leave them hanging. It would make me look like the unforgiveable jerk that I really am.

---

The two left me alone for awhile, but they still were not finished. Soon, they took their business online bashing me with all the hurtful comments they could make. 

People who didn't even attend our school were hating on me. Each comment hurt, slashing me with pain all day. My parents were already upset and worried over me. 

I tried to stand up for myself, but after attempt and attempt I was pushed back down to the cold hard ground left defenseless. I don't want to ever imagine the past and all the statements that were left on all the social media accounts I have but they still linger in my mind. 

I started to cut myself and became more secluded. I felt more and more opressed and self harm became a habit of mine.

The chilly, cold, sharp, lifeless piece of metal gave me life and hope. I did it with ease watching the blood drip from my arms, my parents soon found all the knives stored in my room and they tried to soothe me but it was too late.

No single room for faithfulness in hopes that this will stop. I tried to commit suicide in the janitor's room at school locking myself in so no one could enter. I hung the thick piece of rope onto the pipes ready to hang myself.

But, I was caught. Death was not ready for me. I wanted him. 

I was freaking out, screaming and knocking everything in the small room making a mess, they tried to calm me down but I just couldn't.

To this day, the look of guilt and sorrow on my parents faces still haunt me.

Have you ever wanted to disappear?

---

When Mingyu was standing on the tall ledge from our school building, I was not willing to do nothing. 

I grabbed him from the edge of the roof and his reaction was no different than mine. He didn't want to be messed with, he still tried to die.

He yelled at me trying to let me do so and leave him alone. But when I was saved that day, I realized I wanted to help people. I was shudder at the the cuts decorated across Mingyu's arms. 

But, protecting him was different. I couldn't rest watching him being hunted by our classmates and I wanted to be his saviour. 

It felt different holding him in my arms in the rain. It was pitter-pattering on our clothes soaking us in ice cold water, he felt warm, and I wanted to keep him in my arms forever. 

He was special, he didn't seem like the type who cared. I felt like I belonged with him as his companion and friend, as if tied together by the strings of fate. 

He wasn't Seojin or Sangwoo, he was Mingyu. 

Mingyu was driving onto the road of suicide at death's door, but with a few turns he was able to make a u-turn back to life. 

People tend to be clueless when others commit suicide. But, I think there is only one answer to all the questions.

Everyone thought we were happy..