Philocaly:

The group of kids a couple of tables away snicker at the video. 3 boys, and 4 girls are huddled around a smartphone playing a viral video with the volume at the maximum.

"Yo Mingyu! Why did you do that to the old man, he was just saying hello!"

I write notes from the physics textbook to study for the exams next week but this noise is not helping. 

Since when did anything help..?

"Wow, Mingyu. I got to know some information about you without even having to talk to you. I can't believe you're an orphan!" one of the female students exclaim in an excited, sarcastic tone.

"Hey? Don't you have anything to say? You've become popular!"

My hand smudges against the thin lined paper in frustration. My focus is destroyed. 

"No wonder your clothes are ripped, you're dirt poor."

The comments are thrown at me like crumpled paper, each individual piece knocking into me, my body reacting by flinching but without getting hurt. I'm lying to myself by saying that this doesn't hurt, because it does.

The door opens and more students start to file in, the group huddled around the table catches their attention. I can hear the video being replayed multiple times, fingers pointing towards my direction and I can't help but feel helpless. 

I can't lift a finger to defend for myself, I was never able to. I depended on my parents all my life but, now when I am beat up, bullied, made fun of, I can't fight back. I accept the fact that I am weak. 

I'm sick.

I'm sick of making a fool of myself.

I'm sick of crying myself to sleep every single night.

I'm sick of pretending to be happy.

I'm sick of being alone.

I'm sick of hating everything that exists.

I'm sick of my own being.

I'm sick of living.

I pretend that everything is okay but my parents are living in the clouds above, probably worrying about me as they're unable to shelter me with their love. The world is cruel, it is filled by demons who are cynical. They prey on the frail beings tearing out every part of them. You are witnessing that moment right now, I am being targeted, hunted, and they've got me.

I am struggling to escape, blood dripping down my legs. I have fought and I have finally surrendered.

I'm about to leave my desk until Wonwoo is standing at the door, his fists clenched together. He walks towards the kids at the desk and grabs the cellphone held by Hyesu. He holds it turning it around in his hand.

"It's really awful that you own this phone, it's beautiful." he says admiring the phone. The next moment surprises every one, he throws it across the room and it hits the wall falling to the ground in pieces, shattered glass and a broken case.

"HEY! JEON WONWOO, WHAT THE IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Hyesu yells.

"I heard it all, you people are offending an innocent person."

"What? Offending my . We were just glad to know that he's an orphan. We finally know something about Mr. Mysterious." a boy in the crowd shrugs.

"Glad to know? You were teasing him, because his parents are dead!"

"Wonwoo, calm down. You're taking this too far."

"Too far? I'm just trying to defend him. You are talking about the dead inappropriately."

"Yeah, rest in peace." someone rolls their eyes.

"Plus, who said Mingyu was offended? You weren't offended right?" their eyes turn to me.

My eyes widen in fright and I shake my head from left to right.

"See."

"Either way, your tone didn't show interest."

"Just stop it Wonwoo. It's over."

"Plus, it's really interesting how Mingyu used to be rich."

The group erupts in laughter.

"What did your parents teach you? You are still ing targeting him! If your parents heard what you were saying, they'd be ashamed of all of you right now. Mingyu's parents loved him like all of yours!"

"Doesn't matter, they're dead."

"Gosh, you guys are annoying."

"You're still at fault, you broke my phone."

"I can see that."

I close my eyes for a second and I am breathing in and out. I have to calm down. What is Wonwoo doing? He went on my side, he fought for me.

Thank you.

I can't understand what is happening right now. My lizard brain can't take all the events. Wonwoo is silent but I can still hear the whispers of the others.

"Why isn't he saying anything?"

"He's targeted."

"He's going to break, he's already cutting himself."

I look at my arms.

And just like that... I don't know why, but I give up..

---

This ledge is so high up.

An endless void is staring up at me, my feet wobbling. It's no surprise that no one followed me up here. I am alone. I look up at the sky and wave gently. 

"Hi, mom and dad.." my voice cracks. "It will only be a few minutes, 'til I'm up there. I wonder how much you've guys changed. We can laugh together, we'll make jokes and we can tell them to each other." I sob into my sleeve.

"I'm not ready yet, but I'll tell you when I am."

I stand there, the cold air blowing my hair onto my face. I think for awhile of all the hellish moments I've had on this fugly planet also known as Earth. 

I've been made fun of, my parents died, and broke. I think of all the people that won't miss me, particularly teachers, classmates, etc. I don't think they ever deserved a goodbye from myself. 

I tried so hard...

My heart is pumping soon to be wasted blood. I look up at the sky smiling at the clouds.