"This is idiotic!"

"I didn't do anything!", I argue.

"Stop this Amber, I sm not going to repeat myself. We've done and talked about this a thousand times!!" you said, or rather shouted.

How many times did we actually talked about this? How many times more am I willing to do this?

"Now I'm asking you again, are you really sure about me? About us?" I looked at you and saw your watery eyes. I can see the fear in your eyes, fear in my answer.

"I am. I'm very sure. You know I love you Soo-" you cut my sentence.

"Love? Yeah, maybe you love me, but not as you love her." I can detect the bitterness in your words.

Why did we have to insert her in every arguement we're having?

Why does she need to be the reason of every arguement.

I'm tired of this. I stand and got my car key from the coffee table, ready to leave.

"And where do you think are you going?"

 To her. I'm going to her. I want to answer, but I can't hurt you anymore. I can't. I won't.

"I need some air.", I said, and took my leave.

 This is what I'm doing everytime we're having a fight. Drive miles aways from my girlfriend just to be with my ex-girlfriend

Being with her calm me, I always to when I'll talk to her. I always tell her how much I miss her. And i usually end up just crying beside her.

But this time is different. I want to rant to her. Tell her how much I'm hurt because she left me. How I can't handle my problems because she's the reason to them. How I want to be with her again.

"I don't know Krys. I've tried so hard just to love her, but she's just not you. You two are so different. I can't do it anymore. I've tried to forget about you, about our memories, about being with you, but I've failed. I've tried to stop my feelings, tried to stop going here, but I can't. You're the only reason why I'm still here, so can we be together again?"

 No answer. Just endless silence from you.

"Ah right, I can't be with you, you're with Him now. You're happy now."

Another tear drops from my eyes.

I didn't even realized that I'm crying. Well I always end up crying everytime I went here.

I cry and cry until I need to leave her grave again.

Oops. Happy kid here :)