I stare at Kai sleeping next to me, so peaceful and serene as we lay in a white room. Everything in that room is a bright white color but doesn't have the blinding effect. Kai is sleeping shirtless in white pants and I'm in a white strapless nightgown. The only color in the room is the brown hues of  our skin and the blue from outside a small window. It almost seemed like heaven.

"Leela", Kai whispered into my ear,"death is the sweetest thing if you want it to be". He brought out a red rose and layed the stem next to my face while the soft petals gently brushed against the silk pillow.

I woke up immediately and noticed that I was alone. Honestly, after having a dream like that and waking up alone is a wonderful feeling. I get to reflect and take a few moments to breathe. Inhale. Exhale.

'It's strange. I can't really remember what happened after Kai and I ate the pizzas', I thought to myself. Inhale. Exhale. I didn't stay in my thoughts too long knowing that I had to meet up with The Foxes to continue training. 

I went into my garden area of Lala Land only to see that roses were growing. They were not the same as my dream. They were pure white in color. What made them so peculiar is that I have not seen roses in decades and here they are, fully grown overnight and in full bloom. 'How did this happen? How did they get here? Have I always had roses? How did they grow if I have not been maintaining my garden?' Inhale. Exhale.

I reminded myself that I was to get ready and head out for the day. Turning on the water in the garden, I let my thoughts get extinguished by the flowing water. 'This is peaceful', I thought. Inhale. Exhale.

It only occurred to me that nothing was making sound when I tried to speak. Nothing. Forming the normal shapes of my mouth to say words was a failure. No matter how loud I tried to be, only silence followed. I looked down at my feet and tried to stomp to make some sort of noise but no luck. Inhale.Exhale. My eyes trail up my familiar legs to see if anything is different: my arms, hands, chest, and stomach. My stomach. It is the same stomach I had growing up with every inch of skin in its proper shade and place.  Inhale. Exhale. No mark. No tornado shaped Gold mark on me.

I couldn't believe it. I rubbed at my skin so hard under the water to see if the brown would wash off to unearth the gold. Nothing rubbed off leaving me with only slight reddened skin. 'What happened?'. Grabbing the scissors off of the table where the roses stood, I spread the blades and applied pressure as I dragged the blade over my thigh. Red seeped through the narrow wound as I waited for the light to appear. I waited for it to heal but it kept bleeding. I cut over the wound making it bigger in size. It hurt and I could feel it. Inhale. Exhale. 

'Am I free?'. The wound kept letting blood seep through. I washed it away with the stream of water so it could stop but it did not. Quickly turning off the water and drying myself off, I placed the towel over the wound before placing wet gauze and wrapping a bandage around it. I smiled to myself thinking that I am no longer immortal. I was free to live and grow old now. I could grow old with Kai. I can make permanent  friends and relationships. I can reveal what I have been through and what I have seen. I am free. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

As I look down at the wound, I noticed that the blood was soaking through. It wasn't stopping. 'Before I was immortal I was never a heavy bleeder so why was this happening?'. My blood started to coat the floor. Inhale...exhale. It joined another pool of blood. Inhale.....exhale. Following the stream of red, the source was my curiosity. The pure white roses bled red and covered each rose thickly, changing its color to that of the deep red rose in my dream. Inhale. I screamed but the silence muted my cries. I'm dieing. 'I can never be free'. Exhale. Closing my eyes, I fearfully accept what's coming as my body sinks into the red, breathing my last breath before I suffocate from drowning or my life seeping out along with the blood.  

Inhale. Exhale.

"LEELA"