Chapter 33
She is committed
a/n: hey! Sorry to keep you waiting , i wwas sick the past few days an can't think much. BTW, remember the foreword?it's actually occupied most of this chapter. Hope you appreaciate this heartbreaking update (I'm into dramas lately, need to write it down or else i would be crazy of my own. Haha)
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YOONA'S POV
tears won't stop to fall. i close my eyes as i try to calmly breathe after breaking out. i can feel my heart still stomping so hard i don't know how to make it stop..
"...please stop crying... "
i heard her whisper on my right ear. since the time being, i just realized that i was sobbing so bad and realized that i rested so long on her neck as we lay on our bed. she tighten her hug as i feel her arms wrapping behind my back as she pull me closer.
"...i love you... "
there it go again.. those three words...
"...i-i won't let you go... i love you so much.. i love you... "
i felt another set of tears that falls down my cheeks. why does it have to hurt like that.. those three words i hear everytime we fight... those three words she always use to calm me down.
"i love you..."
the warmth of her breathe brought chills down to my spine. damn! why does it have to make it this feel so damn good.
"Please stop saying those words... "
for some reason that i don't know, i can only feel hurt and making me feel unfair to myself.
i doubt.
i asked myself countless times...
why??
of all the why's...
why?
why am i staying???
at her side???
i breathe in and out. debating whether i should ask her or what...
"baby..."
"hmmmm??! "
"can't you just leave him for me?? "
i heard no response.. i just felt her hug tightens even more.. i sob again..
*sniff *sniff
"t-tell me.. please... "
i release from her hug and look at her eyes. she is crying as well.. eyes, nose and cheeks are already puffy and red. she looked down and sob gently.
*sniff
"you can't do that, right?? "
i held her cheeks. she won't answer the question i put on a lot of guts to asked. i wanted to know her answer, but i don't want to know the truth for it will break my heart.. but,
i had to ask it this time. though not ready, i have to know it..
"j-just answer it, please... "
she kept looking down. I'm still holding her cheeks...
"you can't??? ""
she just nod...
!!!
she can't leave him yet she wanted me to stay... she can't look at me, she didn't say a single word but it's the most unexplainable feeling i felt my entire life i can't move a muscle.
the feeling that you wanted to die wherever I'm at.
tears started to fall again...
continouosly this time...
heavy sobbing...
pain in my heart...
how am I going to be brave???
"t-then ...."
i.... i don't know which word to use.. i don't want to hurt her even though I'm hurt..
"...c-choose.... "
she looked at me surprised. her eyes asking. did-i-heard-you-right look.
i looked back and nod.
"t-there's no *sniff* way I'm going to stay in this *sniff* kind of relationship.. *sniff*"
"baby???
she pleads. like she wanted me to stop saying nonsense things.
"you have to choose... "
she disgree. "no! " she keep sobbing and tightly holding my hands.
"then i should end this tonight. *sniff* i love you so much but why do i have to be hurt like this?? "
"p-please *sniff* s-stop saying those. "
i pulled my hands away from hers.. i heard her sniff continuesly as her tears started to fall on my hands...
"please..... please.... do-don't leave me.. *sniff* i love you.. *sniff* don't say such things *sniff* p-please ... *sniff* don't leave me... *sniff*"
before i could utter a word, she pulls me closer for another tight hug. her arms wrapped around my neck. her lips beside my ear and her tears pouring down on my shoulder..
"d-don't leave me *sob*
don't go away *sob*
please.. *sob*
d-don't leave me *sob*
don't go away *sob*
please.. *sob*"
she kept saying those words. she is breathing so bad. she kept sniffing as she is tighting her hug on me. i felt guilty.
i forgot how hurt i am..
hearing her cries...
hearing her say my name..
the way she say it...
the way she wanted me to stay...
eve
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