I'm So Sorry.
☠x The Noona Hater x☠
"Rise and shine, Taemin!" Key hyung shouted in my face.
I blinked, and stared at him glumly.
"Key hyung, that is precisely the 12th time you have screamed in my face today. And what's weird is, you always say the same thing." I frowned slightly,
"Always." I reiterated.
"Key hyung, that is precisely the 12th time you have screamed in my face today. And what's weird is, you always say the same thing." I frowned slightly,
"Always." I reiterated.
"That's because you're not following instructions, dear." Key hyung rolled his eyes.
"What happened this time? Who made you like this?"
"What happened this time? Who made you like this?"
"No one." I said quickly, refusing to accept that she has somehow broken into me.
"Is it Jooyeon again?" Minho hyung joined us, raising an eyebrow.
"No." I sighed, I wish it was her.
Maybe that would've been less painful.
Maybe that would've been less painful.
"It's Aya. It's Aya, isn't it?" Key hyung said knowingly.
It took precisely three minutes before I came up with my own witty reply to that:
"...No."
"...No."
"You know, I'm not really disappointed that Aya did that to you." Onew hyung mumbled and I looked at him reproachfully.
"True. Took that martyr long enough! Now that's a real girl." Jonghyun hyung whistled.
"Too bad you let go of her, Taem."
"Too bad you let go of her, Taem."
I glared at him, "I said no, didn't I?"
"This is one of those situations where your no means yes." Minho hyung smiled that stupid I'm-a-big-brother-to-you-and-I-know-everything-including-the-secret-recipe-to-KFC's-gravy.
"No it's not. You know nothing!" I glared at him as well.
"And just so you know, I hate KFC's gravy!" I shouted.
"And just so you know, I hate KFC's gravy!" I shouted.
"HEY!" Onew hyung looked annoyed, which was a first.
"YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT'S COMING TO YOU TAEMIN!" He continued to shout and Key hyung rolled his eyes.
"Better tease Onew's weird 5:5 romeo hair than his chicken and everything connected to it."
"...ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE? NO YOU ARE NOT." Onew hyung continued to rant."Oh great. Now we will spend 10 more minutes of this ear torture." Jjong hyung looked none too pleased.
"YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT'S COMING TO YOU TAEMIN!" He continued to shout and Key hyung rolled his eyes.
"Better tease Onew's weird 5:5 romeo hair than his chicken and everything connected to it."
"...ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE? NO YOU ARE NOT." Onew hyung continued to rant."Oh great. Now we will spend 10 more minutes of this ear torture." Jjong hyung looked none too pleased.
"YOUR FUTURE WILL NOT BE BRIGHT. YOU WILL BE VERY UNHAPPY--"
Onew hyung continued to rant like a madman. To be honest, all I hear is yada yada yada...
Onew hyung continued to rant like a madman. To be honest, all I hear is yada yada yada...
I'm pretty sure that's what all the others hear as well.
"...AND I THINK I MADE MY POINT! GOOD DAY TO YOU TOO!" Onew hyung shouted before abruptly standing up and walking away.
"...AND I THINK I MADE MY POINT! GOOD DAY TO YOU TOO!" Onew hyung shouted before abruptly standing up and walking away.
"That's a record! That went on for 12 minutes and 25 seconds." Minho hyung snickered.
"Now you lost Aya and Onew's respect." Key hyung sighed, "What are we going to do with you, makdoongie?"
"Now you lost Aya and Onew's respect." Key hyung sighed, "What are we going to do with you, makdoongie?"
"Stop calling me that." I frowned, upset.
I didn't lose her. I didn't.
I didn't.
I didn't lose her. I didn't.
I didn't.
I did not.
"Yes you did," Minho hyung, who was sitting by my side, said quietly.
"You did lose her, Taemin. You can only lose things if you have them. And you had her. But you lost her at the end."
"You did lose her, Taemin. You can only lose things if you have them. And you had her. But you lost her at the end."
I looked down at the table, no one else seems to be aware of this conversation that Minho hyung and I were apparently having.
"But that's okay," He threw me a look before focusing his gaze somewhere else again.
"Because--"
"Because--"
"Okay, I'm back." Onew hyung went to our table again, a smile on his face.
"You're okay now?" Jonghyun hyung frowned in wonder.
"Of course he is, don't you know him at all?" Key hyung rolled his eyes.
"You're okay now?" Jonghyun hyung frowned in wonder.
"Of course he is, don't you know him at all?" Key hyung rolled his eyes.
"Because...what?" I ignored everyone else and prompted Minho hyung, trying not to look like I was really interested in what he was saying.
"Because..." Minho hyung stopped again as the door to the cafeteria opened and in walked them.
"Because..." Minho hyung stopped again as the door to the cafeteria opened and in walked them.
Them that I don't really want to see right now.
I watched as they grabbed a table together, and that stupid guy whipping out two large lunchboxes, one of which he gave to her.
I watch her smile widely and pinch his cheeks and I felt this weird feeling in my chest.
I watched as they grabbed a table together, and that stupid guy whipping out two large lunchboxes, one of which he gave to her.
I watch her smile widely and pinch his cheeks and I felt this weird feeling in my chest.
Those smiles.
Those smiles were supposed to be for me.
Those smiles were supposed to be for me.
Does she really not like me anymore?
Most probably yes, seeing as how she can smile like that already.
I watched them feed each other, or how she would lean her head on his shoulders.
I watched again as he leaned his face so near to hers--
I watched them feed each other, or how she would lean her head on his shoulders.
I watched again as he leaned his face so near to hers--
Damn it.
"Makdoongie..." I felt a hand on top of mine, squeezing it in comfort, but I didn't really knew who it was anymore.
All I know was that I stood up quickly, gathered my things, and left as fast as I can.
I can't bear to watch them any longer.
I can't bear to watch them any longer.
--
ONEW'S POV
"This isn't right. Taemin has been absent for three days. I don't like this at all." Key frowned, tapping his nails against the table as we continued to sip our frappes in our favorite coffee shop.
"This isn't right. Taemin has been absent for three days. I don't like this at all." Key frowned, tapping his nails against the table as we continued to sip our frappes in our favorite coffee shop.
"I think it's worse this time, he's too quiet, it's scary." Minho looked worried too.
"He's not answering his phone, he doesn't go online in facebook, he won't let us in his room..." Jonghyun looked stressed.
"Someone's got to do something about this! Someone needs to find Taemin! Quickly." Key declared, and I nodded mutely, staring down at the new winter menu that was displayed on the table.
Ooh. A grape flavored coffee.
And OOH!!! Free croissant if you order five grape flavored--
Ooh. A grape flavored coffee.
And OOH!!! Free croissant if you order five grape flavored--
"Ahem."
I glanced up, only to find all three of my friends staring at me expectantly.
"What?" I asked quizically.
"Someone needs to find Taemin." Key repeated, adding emphasis on the word someone.
Jonghyun threw me a knowing look, raising his eyebrows up and down and I groaned inwardly.
"My name isn't someone." I mumbled and I felt a foot kicking my shins.
"OW! That hurts!" I grimaced and reached under to rub them, glaring at Minho while doing so.
I'm pretty sure it was him! That kick felt like his kicks whenever he would send a soccer ball flying towards the net.
No one budged, and I sighed resignedly.
"Me?"
Jonghyun threw me a knowing look, raising his eyebrows up and down and I groaned inwardly.
"My name isn't someone." I mumbled and I felt a foot kicking my shins.
"OW! That hurts!" I grimaced and reached under to rub them, glaring at Minho while doing so.
I'm pretty sure it was him! That kick felt like his kicks whenever he would send a soccer ball flying towards the net.
No one budged, and I sighed resignedly.
"Me?"
"Yes." Key looked at me sharply and I gulped.
"You."
"You."
--
I kicked the magazine on the floor that was left carelessly in the living room, trying to hide it under the couch using my foot, but gave up and sighed, as I bent down to pick it up, not really wanting a mess.
Find Taemin? How? What? I didn't even understood what they meant by that!
I, myself, had rushed into his house when he went on being absent for two days, only to be left knocking for thirty minutes because Taemin refused to open the door or to make any sound to assure us that he was okay.
His phone was constantly off.
He wasn't replying to my wallposts in facebook, or clicking Like on those donkey pictures that I was tagging him in.
That was really sad for me, especially because Taemin loved those donkey and monkey pictures!
He would always be the first to click Like when I post them and comment BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HYUNG!
and then I'll click Like on that comment...
His phone was constantly off.
He wasn't replying to my wallposts in facebook, or clicking Like on those donkey pictures that I was tagging him in.
That was really sad for me, especially because Taemin loved those donkey and monkey pictures!
He would always be the first to click Like when I post them and comment BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HYUNG!
and then I'll click Like on that comment...
Aw, what happened to our Minnie?
I glanced down absently at the magazine I had picked up, only to realize that it was the kind of magazine...that I would normally be keeping
deep inside my room, under my mattress, where mom or Minseok won't see it (he is way underaged!), and where my other brothers won't be able to steal it.
deep inside my room, under my mattress, where mom or Minseok won't see it (he is way underaged!), and where my other brothers won't be able to steal it.
But hey, this Penthouse issue sure isn't mine!
I looked left then right then sat down on the couch as I scanned over the articles' titles on the cover page.
Top 50 y women--
Lingerie that drives you wild--
vs --what's the difference?
Top 50 y women--
Lingerie that drives you wild--
vs --what's the difference?
My eyes widened at the last title.
...vs...?
...
...
S to the M to the U to the T...
...vs...?
...
...
S to the M to the U to the T...
Where have I heard that word before?
"HYUNG! I'M HOME~" My ears recognized Minseok's childishly cute voice and the heavy dropping of his bag by the halls (which I would need to pick up later and put in his room...lazy brothers!)
"I'm hungry, is there anything to eat?" Minseok yelled from the dining area as he approached me.
"I'm hungry, is there anything to eat?" Minseok yelled from the dining area as he approached me.
But I hardly noticed him, because I was busy grinning widely as an idea clicked into my brain, thanks to those titles, I jumped up and started to do a victory dance.
"Hyung! Hungryyy!" Minseok whined and I shoved the magazine at his hands.
"There you go!" I said cheerfully, skipping into my room happily because Key will not scream at me anymore I found a solution.
"There you go!" I said cheerfully, skipping into my room happily because Key will not scream at me anymore I found a solution.
I know where Taemin is!
Gleefully, opening my laptop, I typed in the website url that I have never been in before then clicked enter.
The last thing I heard was the opening of the door, a bag being dropped to the floor so loudly again, and a loud scream:
"YAH MINSEOK!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING MY MAGAZINES?!"
--
I squinted at the page in front of me.
How exactly am I going to find Taemin here?
How exactly am I going to find Taemin here?
Featured Story...
Daily Random Story...
Daily Random Story...
Hmmm...Am I on the right site? Did I spell Asianfanfics rights?
Or was it supposed to be asianfanfiction?
Or is it Koreanffs.net?!
Or was it supposed to be asianfanfiction?
Or is it Koreanffs.net?!
Aigoo.
My gaze dropped to the Popular Tags on the side bar, and I curiously clicked on the 'shinee' link.
What?
It's a cute word, don't you agree?
Immediately, pages of stories swarm before me and I bit my lip, wondering what I should do.
Okay, maybe I won't find Taemin here.
Okay, maybe I won't find Taemin here.
Another link caught my eye--Users.
OH JOY!! I'LL FIND TAEMIN AT LAST!
-after thirty minutes of searching-
THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! HOW CAN THIS SITE NOT TELL ME WHERE TAEMIN'S ACCOUNT IS?!
I swear, I have been browsing for what seemed like hours, but I haven't seen him at all!
I swear, I have been browsing for what seemed like hours, but I haven't seen him at all!
All I see are users with such strange usernames!
Which user names his account asghdslsajhdsj?
Or heaven forbid, iloveDUBULGE14?!
I even saw someone with a username of DUBULGEisMiNE.
I swear, I got creeped out by it (although I'm not sure why...it just feels connected to me somehow!)
I even saw someone with a username of DUBULGEisMiNE.
I swear, I got creeped out by it (although I'm not sure why...it just feels connected to me somehow!)
Almost giving up, my eye caught this blue box at the top of the page.
To be honest, I have been ignoring it all this time, but maybe that was a bad move.
Especially now that I see the title of this fic--
To be honest, I have been ignoring it all this time, but maybe that was a bad move.
Especially now that I see the title of this fic--
Milks101
Description: Milks, and all its wonders. Milk is good. Milk is healthy. Milk is yummy. Especially banana milk.
Now don't you want to know more about milks?
Description: Milks, and all its wonders. Milk is good. Milk is healthy. Milk is yummy. Especially banana milk.
Now don't you want to know more about milks?
I smiled triumphantly as I read this. It has Taemin written all over it, all right.
Clicking on the link, my eyes quickly latched on to the author's name at the bottom of the title.
By bananamilkprince.
Clicking on the link, my eyes quickly latched on to the author's name at the bottom of the title.
By bananamilkprince.
Grabbing my phone, I dialed Key's number and settled down comfortably on my chair, even putting my feet up on the table. (Like a mafia boss, if I may add!)
"Yeah, Key? I got him."
"Yeah, Key? I got him."
--
"So?"
"So?"
"So?" I asked back, looking at them blankly.
We were having a video chat online since there's no classes today, and everyone agreed that it was too cold to go out and meet.
We were having a video chat online since there's no classes today, and everyone agreed that it was too cold to go out and meet.
"So what happened?" Jonghyun looked exasperated.
"With...?" I looked at him, confused.
"Ohdeardreamgirlcomeback, I WAS TALKING ABOUT TAEMIN!" Jonghyun hollered and I pouted, while lowering the volume of my headset.
"Must you shout?"
"Must you shout?"
"Hyung, Key said that you finally got a hold of Taemin, did you talk to him already?" Minho asked.
"Uhm, I tried..." I said in a small voice and I see Key's eyebrows furrowing, and I was almost tempted to click minimize at his window.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, you see...when I clicked on his profile, I couldn't access it at all because it has a friends-only access thingy activated on it." I explained.
"Well, you just need to add him as a friend if that's the case!" Minho shrugged.
"I know, and I did that, but he hasn't even approved me yet!" I sighed.
"Okay, this won't work. We need to all go into that site and create accounts to be able to reach him." Key instructed and I see everyone agreeing.
"Get ready guys, we're invading aff."
"Okay, this won't work. We need to all go into that site and create accounts to be able to reach him." Key instructed and I see everyone agreeing.
"Get ready guys, we're invading aff."
--
TAEMIN'S POV
I yawned for the nth time, ignoring Kai's obnoxiously loud voice as he continued his little rally of cheering me up.
I thought it was cute at first, when he made this placard with 'GIRLS ARE STUPID!' written on it and was waving it around in the living room because he can see how sad I am.
It worked for about two minutes, that I even bought him this kiddy megaphone toy that he apparently liked so much because he now uses it all the time.
He even uses it in front of my face, yelling 'Hyung! It's time for dinner!' or yelling 'Goodnight appa and umma! Saranghae<3' at my parents' faces as well.
I see my mom throwing me distressed looks, but didn't really scold me about it.
I yawned for the nth time, ignoring Kai's obnoxiously loud voice as he continued his little rally of cheering me up.
I thought it was cute at first, when he made this placard with 'GIRLS ARE STUPID!' written on it and was waving it around in the living room because he can see how sad I am.
It worked for about two minutes, that I even bought him this kiddy megaphone toy that he apparently liked so much because he now uses it all the time.
He even uses it in front of my face, yelling 'Hyung! It's time for dinner!' or yelling 'Goodnight appa and umma! Saranghae<3' at my parents' faces as well.
I see my mom throwing me distressed looks, but didn't really scold me about it.
I focused my attention on the screen before me, Onew hyung tagged me on another picture this time!
But what's strange that he tagged me on a picture with Minho hyung's face attached to a frog's body with a caption of: Minho misses you! Come talk to us now~
But what's strange that he tagged me on a picture with Minho hyung's face attached to a frog's body with a caption of: Minho misses you! Come talk to us now~
It was the weirdest picture I have ever seen in my life.
Closing my facebook tag, I went back to my favorite site.
Closing my facebook tag, I went back to my favorite site.
new friend requests!
I blinked and clicked the new alert, not really expecting much.
I blinked and clicked the new alert, not really expecting much.
Hm...
Such weird usernames!
But oh well, more friends for me!
--
--
ONEW'S POV
"All right, success! Taemin added me already! How about you guys?" Key asked, looking excited.
"Yup. Me too!" Minho smiled.
"Same here." Jonghyun grinned.
"He didn't accept mine." I pouted.
"Uh, maybe because you have such a weird name! What the hell is dubulge?!" Key made a face.
"I have no idea! But it sure doesn't sound good that's why I said DubulgeAin'tRight!" I concluded, shaking my fists in the air.
"Well...I'd reject your request if it was up to me too." Jonghyun mumbled, shrugging and I huffed,
"Fine, I'll choose a new one!"
"Fine, I'll choose a new one!"
I started to think of new names.
Hm, what about leejinkithegreat?
Hm, or maybe imreallyhungry...?
Err...what if I just put in
thechickenking?
Hey YEAH YEAH! THEN MY PASSWORD CAN BE CLUCKCLUCKCLUCK!
I grinned widely to myself and was about to change my name when I see Jonghyun's bored face in my monitor.
"What?" I asked cautiously.
thechickenking?
Hey YEAH YEAH! THEN MY PASSWORD CAN BE CLUCKCLUCKCLUCK!
I grinned widely to myself and was about to change my name when I see Jonghyun's bored face in my monitor.
"What?" I asked cautiously.
"We heard everything." He yawned.
"Just to remind you, those were your credentials in our computer class."
"Just to remind you, those were your credentials in our computer class."
"It is not!" I said hotly, embarrassed.
How the heck did they hear me?! Was I thinking aloud?!
How the heck did they hear me?! Was I thinking aloud?!
"Yes it is." Key rolled his eyes.
"Jonghyun used to open your account all the time just to copy your programming codes."
"Jonghyun used to open your account all the time just to copy your programming codes."
"WHAT." I looked at Jonghyun.
"Er...dubulge is a great word, don't you think? I think it's a fantastic word. A beautiful word! Like unicorn!" Jonghyun looked nervous.
"I swear something's wrong with you." Minho frowned.
"Anyway, Onew hyung, just work on getting Taemin to approve you. We three will talk to him online since we can access it now."
"Anyway, Onew hyung, just work on getting Taemin to approve you. We three will talk to him online since we can access it now."
"Okay." I nodded dismissively since I was busy scanning the rules to have my name changed.
"YAH. 250 KARMA POINTS!?" I exclaimed and they all looked at me.
"YAH. 250 KARMA POINTS!?" I exclaimed and they all looked at me.
"What?" Key raised an eyebrow.
"I need 250 karma points to change my name."
"What is karma?" Jonghyun asked, squinting his eyes.
"I'm not sure, but it sure sounds a lot..." I shrugged.
"This is such a time-waster! Who cares if your name is dubulge whatever?! Let's just go talk to Taemin!" Minho is so impatient, isn't he?
Why can't he understand that it's important for me? I mean, IT'S MY USERNAME!!
"Just add Taemin again! Now let's go talk to him, guys."
Aw, how come I'm always left behind?!
Ooh~you ! Well that's a cute name...must add that user!
--
Ooh~
--
TAEMIN'S POV
new wallposts!
OH NO. OH MY GOD!!
ARE THESE PEOPLE MY HYUNGS?!!
NOOOOOOOO!
HOW DID THEY FIND ME?!
New wallposts!
New friend requests!
New wallposts!
New wallposts
New friend requests!
New wallposts!
New friend request!
New wall posts!
New friend request!
--
EEK! TAEMIN IS ADDING ME!!!
My FIRST FRIEND!!!
(∩▂∩) (∩▂∩) (∩▂∩) (∩▂∩) (∩▂∩) (∩▂∩) (∩▂∩) (∩▂∩)
New wallposts!
To Key hyung, Onew hyung, Minho hyung, and Jonghyun hyung:
First of all, Kibum hyung, I am so sorry that I've been absent for days.
Minho hyung, I'm sorry because I keep on avoiding all your messages...it's just that, I'm not ready. Yet.
Onew hyung, I'm sorry for not letting you in my room causing you to wait outside for an hour or so...and having Kai bug you because of that, and...for not approving your request quickly here in aff. Trust me, I regret it deeply.
Jonghyun hyung...I'm sorry for...well, if I did anything wrong to you, then I'm sorry.
Onew hyung, I'm sorry for not letting you in my room causing you to wait outside for an hour or so...and having Kai bug you because of that, and...for not approving your request quickly here in aff. Trust me, I regret it deeply.
Jonghyun hyung...I'm sorry for...well, if I did anything wrong to you, then I'm sorry.
I know you're all worried and I know that I owe all of you a proper explanation as to why I'm acting this way.
Please permit me to write this letter to you instead of meeting in our favorite coffee shop.
Please forgive me for doing it this way, I'd like to think that I'm much better with words when I'm writing them...and not when I'm speaking them. (You can ask the one who broke my heart for this. You guys all know how I can't seem to tell her how I really feel.)
Please permit me to write this letter to you instead of meeting in our favorite coffee shop.
Please forgive me for doing it this way, I'd like to think that I'm much better with words when I'm writing them...and not when I'm speaking them. (You can ask the one who broke my heart for this. You guys all know how I can't seem to tell her how I really feel.)
Hyungs, the reason that I've been absent for days is because of someone I shall not name who I don't really want to see but will have to if I choose to go to school.
Therefore, I'd rather stay at home and be here under the safety of my covers while I...
Therefore, I'd rather stay at home and be here under the safety of my covers while I...
I'm not sure about the word...is it heal?
I've been wounded, as you can see.
Normally, I would never admit to this, I have cursed noonas off forever and have been thoroughly convinced that they will only hurt me, and that they will never think twice in breaking hearts.
Until she came along.
Until she decided to go after me and try to change my beliefs.
The way she would constantly be so patient and forgiving despite putting her throughout so much hardship...
The way she would decide to get up whenever I would knock her down (sometimes on purpose) and come to me showing me that she would still be so patient in waiting for me to go around and change my mind.
The way she went and successfully break my shield, which I have so carefully built around me. It used to be everything-proof.
The way she would constantly be so patient and forgiving despite putting her throughout so much hardship...
The way she would decide to get up whenever I would knock her down (sometimes on purpose) and come to me showing me that she would still be so patient in waiting for me to go around and change my mind.
The way she went and successfully break my shield, which I have so carefully built around me. It used to be everything-proof.
But I should have known...it wasn't Aya-proof.
I assume you all know who she is?
Please don't get mad at her, Key hyung and Jonghyun hyung.
I know you don't want to see me hurt, and I'm thankful to you guys for that.
I know you don't want to see me hurt, and I'm thankful to you guys for that.
But this time, this time, I'm sure I'm the one at fault.
I kept on pushing her, trying to see where her limit is, and she has proven to me how strong she is.
And these past days...I am fairly sure I was showing her how I much I appreciate her now, even with Jooyeon noona around.
But it seems like I did something wrong, said something hurtful, was stupid enough...
Because the moment that I decided that maybe this noona is different from all others, she went and...
But it seems like I did something wrong, said something hurtful, was stupid enough...
Because the moment that I decided that maybe this noona is different from all others, she went and...
Decided that she didn't like me after all.
The words she last said to me is still ringing inside my mind, they still hurt, and every night, I go to sleep praying that when I wake up, the pain will be gone, or will at least be lessened even a teeny, tiny bit.
But no. It never happened.
But no. It never happened.
If that's even possible, I feel more hurt now than last night.
Is it because I am not seeing her? Is it because I am not hearing her voice, or hearing her laughters?
Please enlighten me hyungs.
Please enlighten me hyungs.
Jooyeon noona had broken me so badly before.
But I'm afraid this one had positively snapped me in half already.
But I'm afraid this one had positively snapped me in half already.
I am at a loss as to what I should do.
I decided to read fanfics while I'm at it, maybe romcoms will make me smile, maybe comedies will make me laugh until I cry (which would be a nice change from tears of sadness), or maybe even horrors or gory stories will twist my mind enough to get my thoughts off of her.
But they didn't work.
None of them worked even the slightest bit.
None of them worked even the slightest bit.
Romcoms had me reminiscing about the times we somehow spent together, and I always end up thinking, if it was me and her writing this story, it would have been much more better.
Comedies reminded me of her too, and how she would inevitably make me laugh without her trying, and I realised that these crackfics don't make me smile the way she does.
Horror and gore had me numb, because I feel more horrified when I think about the fact that she doesn't like me anymore and how I'm too late to change her mind...
Comedies reminded me of her too, and how she would inevitably make me laugh without her trying, and I realised that these crackfics don't make me smile the way she does.
Horror and gore had me numb, because I feel more horrified when I think about the fact that she doesn't like me anymore and how I'm too late to change her mind...
Please help me hyungs.
When Jooyeon noona hurt me before, I shut out everyone of you who tried to help me, but now, I'm going to do something different.
I'm telling all of these things to you hyungs, no matter how weird they seem to you.
I'm telling all of these things to you hyungs, no matter how weird they seem to you.
Because that's how I really feel.
I'm trying to be strong throughout this whole ordeal, but truly, I've never felt weaker.
Is it true that the only one who can heal your pain is the one who inflicted it?
Is that true hyungs?
Is that true hyungs?
Please don't let it be true.
I wanted so much to fight for her, so, so much, you have no idea.
I wanted so much to do all those 5000 things with her.
I want to shout out that weird nickname she always insists that I use on her.
I want to take her out to dinner and tell her that she looked nice in that new dress she brought. I want to sit with her all throughout calculus class, walk her to her next ones, and bug her to come with me to the library with the excuse of teaching her how to solve algorithms, when really, I just want to stay by her side a little bit more.
I want to buy her all those choco milks and drink them with her.
I want to go over to her house, brave her scary hyung, and make her ramen again.
I wanted so much to steal her back from that ugly-looking/second-hand rebound guy because I know she's supposed to be mine.
I wanted so much to do all those 5000 things with her.
I want to shout out that weird nickname she always insists that I use on her.
I want to take her out to dinner and tell her that she looked nice in that new dress she brought. I want to sit with her all throughout calculus class, walk her to her next ones, and bug her to come with me to the library with the excuse of teaching her how to solve algorithms, when really, I just want to stay by her side a little bit more.
I want to buy her all those choco milks and drink them with her.
I want to go over to her house, brave her scary hyung, and make her ramen again.
I wanted so much to steal her back from that ugly-looking/second-hand rebound guy because I know she's supposed to be mine.
I just want her back again.
But I'm not even really sure if I can do it...
Because what if she doesn't really like me anymore?
What if I finally decide to fight for her, for what I feel...she would actually be the one to knock me down?
Because what if she doesn't really like me anymore?
What if I finally decide to fight for her, for what I feel...she would actually be the one to knock me down?
I'm scared. :(
It didn't feel this way with Jooyeon noona.
I was just mad at her, and at everyone else.
I didn't feel like moping and being confused, and being alone and hurt.
But that's how I feel right now.
I was just mad at her, and at everyone else.
I didn't feel like moping and being confused, and being alone and hurt.
But that's how I feel right now.
Is being strong really like this?
Is this what being a man really feels like?
Does it involve having feelings of deep hurt and intense confusion?
Is this what being a man really feels like?
Does it involve having feelings of deep hurt and intense confusion?
Because I really am sure that I treated her well these past days...
I remember giving her banana milk, how excited I was that I could give her something.
I also remembered sitting with her, instead of transferring at the back with Jooyeon noona.
There was this time that I did everything I could to keep her warm because she went to school without anything useful at all to fend off the cold.
I thought I was doing a pretty good job...
I mean, I held her hand...
Tightly.
And I noticed everything about her, even her eyelashes.
They looked really pretty, like her eyes.
I noticed all things, and even though I didn't say anything about it to her, I thought I made her feel how it seems like she's all I see these days...
Hyungs...
Please say the truth...
Where did I go wrong...?
Is there anything I can do?
Is there anything I can do?
Do I have to go look for a job again and get money and do something to surprise her?
Do I have to get on my knees and say sorry?
Do I have to keep on begging?
Do I have to get on my knees and say sorry?
Do I have to keep on begging?
Please tell me hyungs, I would be willing to do it.
Would do anything, just to make it up to her.
It's just that...I don't really understand...
Is it because--
or maybe--
or...I was just...?
Ah, I don't think I can continue writing this anymore.
My head really aches and they're playing all these sad songs in the radio.
Why are they doing that? :(
I think I'll just go back to sleep...
Maybe, just maybe, my only prayer will finally be answered when I wake up.
Maybe, just maybe, my only prayer will finally be answered when I wake up.
--
Key's POV
Key's POV
VIDEO CONFERENCE via Skype
Kim Kibum logged in
Kim Jonghyun logged in
Lee Jinki logged in
Choi Minho logged in
"Did you guys read Taemin's blog post?" I asked, staring at all of them intently.
"What blog post?" Jonghyun asked, frowning a little.
"In AFF." Minho sighed, "Yes, I've read it. And it had me much more worried about him."
"Where exactly can I see this blog post?" Onew hyung asked sheepishly.
"Just click on blogs in Taemin's profile. Seriously! You two are not paying attention at all! Go read it and we'll talk later." I frowned at them one last time and logged out.
Oh Taemin, what have you gotten yourself into?
--
TAEMIN'S POV
New blog comments!
I smiled slightly at my hyungs' replies.
Then frowned a little as I stared at my phone for the fifteenth time, that message still had that effect of giving a weird feeling settling in my stomach.
I'm so sorry..
I'm so sorry...because I updated so late.
you have (1) HATE MAIL
SHINee's back, SHINee's back, SHINee's back, back, back, back, back, woo!
And so am I!
Omg, first of all, I'm so sorry for not updating for so long! (a month or much more maybe?)
I have the same excuse as always, and another one: I was in a slump. Come on, all writers experience the block.
Even crackfic writers.
Haha, but I tried my best (and because today's the only day I have enough time) and ta-daaah!
Okay, so this chapter is stupid and it but please forgive me.
I tried making up for it by making aff accounts for all our lovely boys (anyone missed them on this fic?) it's been so long since Taem had his hyungs by his side. (well, not literally)
so to give you guys bonuses, here are the actual accounts I used for their conversations [click 'em icons]:
Add them up if you want, write on their walls, etc. Keke.
A little bonus:
Aya's aff account.
<3
Wouldn't it be so awesome if our boys actually really had aff accts? I think I would die!
(and spam their walls everyday, lol)
View Taemin's blog post here. (and offer him advices if you want! He might consider you his hero once your idea helps him win Aya back!)
By the way, feel free to advertise your fics on Taem's wall.
Seeing as he's a fanfic addict, I'm sure he'll sub to all your recommendations. Haha.
And let's all add poor dubu, huh? Got no aff friends at all, poor baby.
Btw, if any of you guys have a dubulge username, please don't take offense, I have nothing against dubulge.
Nothing at all.
Only Onew would probably have something against it...hmmm..
Disclaimer:
Those aff accounts up there don't really belong to the shining SHINee. (Sadly, if I may add)
Okay, and once again I'm sorry for updating so late.
Do not at all hesitate to bug me to update either here or in my wall, I swear, your comments and posts make me panic and write faster. Keke.
Thank you for being so patient!<3
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