Reason to Reconsider# 3: Saying Sorry.
☠x The Noona Hater x☠
Monday. Monday. It was Monday once again.
I really hate Mondays.
Mondays. Tuesdays. Wednesdays. Thursdays. Fridays.
I hate them all.
Come to think of it, I hate the weekends too.
All that silence in the house...
It seems as though my ears had shut off every sound except my faint heartbeats.
It sounds broken--kind of like, thump, thump---thu-uh-uh-uh-*hip thumpin'*-thuuump---- *loverholic robotronic*--thump, thump.
Yeah, then it stops for a loooong while.
Okay, I'm kidding. It doesn't. But that's what it feels like to me.
It's been a long time since my heart decided to break all on its own again.
First was because of the girl who started this whole fic, THANKS A LOT FOR REJECTING ME!
Then, now.
I've been thinking deeply about the reasons why my heart would be malfunctioning like this, and this is what I came up with;
Taemin's Heart is Broken because—
1. None, as in NONE of my favorite subscriptions have updated yet. For so long. Seriously. How can you guys do that to me?! How can you guys sleep at night knowing you left us, your loyal readers, with such a CLIFFHANGER?! Seriously.
If I ever meet you, author-nim, I will pout in your face for an hour straight. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?! WOULD YOU?!
2. Her.
3. I lost my milk list and I could not at all remember what milk I'm supposed to drink on Mondays, Tuesdays, etc. It is frustrating. I ended up drinking water the whole weekend.
4. Her and Chan.
5. Onew hyung slept on me. How could he do that?! He's so going down on my hyung bias list! >.< Maybe I should've just really stuck with Minho hyung...maybe those gazes really do mean something else after all.
OH NO. What am I saying?! Man. I hope not. *shudders*
6. Her and Chan, kissing.
7. Maybe my heart never really recovered after it got broken last year. Maybe it's the same old heartbreak all this time...
8. Her and Chan, probably dating.
9. I've been listening to these ballad songs lately. I've been searching the net and it says that obsessive listening to ballads can lead to a broken heart. I'm not stating the source (and it's not because I'm denying the possibility that this is probably not true), there is no need because I just believe it, OKAY!!
10. It's because of you, you ! Why are you so mad at me?! What did I do?? You're such a heartbreaker! T_T 3
I stared at the list for like, an hour, only getting more depressed by the second when I realized that only four of those reasons made sense.
Yet the truth is, only one of them is actually the culprit for the uneven thumping of my heart.
It didn't help that all I did the whole night was to stare at the ceiling then turning my laptop on again to check on my subs, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, NONE OF YOU GUYS UPDATED TO DISTRACT ME FROM THIS MISERY. THANKS A LOT.
So I just decided to--
Yawn again.
Man, I am so tired.
Aside from staring all night at the ceiling, I also spent a lot of time reading this certain fic last night.
I was just reading it out of curiosity.
I didn't plan on staying up until 3AM to finish the whole thing.
Nor did I plan to really subscribe.
I thought it was just a joke, seeing as how she made me read one of the chapters before and I remember how it was so terrible.
Apparently though, she wasn't lying.
She really was good at English.
Not only that, she--AND YES, I'M SAYING THIS IN A BEGRUDGING TONE--can write.
The way she wrote our the love story almost got me reading it with rapt attention.
The details of how we they fell in love, how I the vampire eats animals in great, disgusting detail was almost fascinating.
But what caught my attention and made me click the subscribe button was Aya's the heroine's great love for the vampire.
It was as if Aya the writer had written off her emotions so perfectly in it.
Especially at the current chapter! When she got the vampire to kill off werewolves and to still make it in time for the wedding! That was a real cliffhanger!!
I was almost tempted to write in the comment box: UPDATE SOON!
Except that I didn't want her fic to get my very first comment. No way, Jose!
If I was--WAIT.
I sat up straight in my chair.
She wrote about our love story.
She wrote it.
You don't write about things that you don't really like.
Plus, her author's note at the bottom of each chapter was always raving about how inspired she was because someone taught her math, or someone rescued her when she forgot her assignment at the library...and how she was able to write great chapters because of that guy...
And...always, her author's notes ends with the lines:
INSPIRED BY TRUE EVENTS.
Which I thought was really weird because she was writing about vampires and werewolves and superheroes!
Although...come to think of it.
One of her chapters contained the superhero(ine) being saved by the vampire from the werewolf because the superhero(ine) lost her cape or something like that.
Not to mention, the hero(ine) loved random dancing, especially with ghosts.
Also, the vampire loves to read and even terrorizes librarians!
My eyes widened as I realized this.
She was writing about—
Oh crap.
I need to talk to her.
--
I waited outside the halls, directly outside her classroom.
I know she has Physics as her last period, she had asked me countless times before to walk her there but I've always ignored or refused her outright.
I shook my head in shame.
I bit my nails and rehearsed what I was going to say.
The only good thing here was that Yuna noona didn't take the same subject, she has PE, like Onew hyung.
The bell rang for the second time and the door opened after about a minute or two with Prof Sooyoung walking out of the room.
I immediately tensed up.
This is it.
I waited...
And waited...
And waited...
And--Oh! There she is.
How come she's the last one to go out?
"Aya noo...sunbae!" I called out hesitantly.
She stopped in her tracks and turned around.
"Who--Oh, great. I think I'm seeing things now." She mumbled, blinking at me
furiously.
I walked towards her.
"Noona." I said awkwardly, which is, yes. So awkward. Because I was taller than her and I was acting like the shy one at this moment.
"Taemin...?" She said softly before replacing her sad look quickly with blankness and crossing her arms defiantly.
"Noona, I..." I suddenly felt shy and tongue-tied again.
"What?" She asked in a neutral voice.
Are you still mad?
Have you forgiven me?
Can we be friends again, at least?
A million questions ran through my mind but I only managed to ask her the one thing that I wasn't intending to ask at all.
"When are you going to update?" I blurted out.
For a moment, she looked confused.
"What?"
"Your..." Oh, great, Taemin! You're so stupid!
"Uhm...your fic..."
"Huh. My fic?" She stared at me.
"Are you...reading it?" She asked warily.
"Er..." Caught! What to say? What to say?! WHAT TO SAY?!! Thump, thump, thump.
"Well...I don't know." She stiffened.
"I think I'll just delete it and stuff...I haven't updated for weeks anyway. I'm sure I already lost subbers." She mumbled.
"NO!!" I said in a panic.
"Don't delete it!!"
"Eh?" She looked surprised by my outburst.
"I mean...don't. Just don't."
"Why?" She asked hesitantly.
"Because...because..." I sighed.
I can do this. I owe her this.
"Look, noona. I'm just...I'm really sorry and I know it's going to be hard to forget ev--"
"Taemin." She interrupted me softly, shaking her head.
"Don't. Please."
"W-What?" I stuttered.
"Don't say sorry anymore. Don't do that anymore. You're right, I'm a noona. You don't like noonas. I don't want to push myself to you anymore. It's like me trying to write that fic. It's stupid and pointless."
"But..."
"Forget about it, Taemin." She looked sad.
"No. Wait. It's not stupid. It's not just a fic. It's our love story!" I protested.
"There are just some things I'm afraid of, Taemin..."
"Maybe I could--"
"No. Please stop. You don't need to apologize anymore."
I shook my head. "Please, give me another--"
"No." She looked at me straight in the eyes and I saw something that I didn't recognize at that moment.
What was it?
"There's no need. Didn't I tell you before?" She looked down.
"I can only take so much, Taemin. So, so much only. And...I've pretty much reached my point." She pursed her lips together as if she was going to cry.
"I need to go." She blinked fast.
"Bye, Taemin. Please stay safe." She murmured and turned around to walk off.
I watched her go, the familiar, faint, hurting feeling coming back.
Thump, thump. Th—
--
I stayed in my room the whole day.
After storming off at the front door, I didn't even greet my mom, but then, she was nowhere to be seen anyway. So is my dad.
I didn't care. All I wanted was to be alone.
I didn't even get called for dinner.
What time is it anyway?
Thump, th—
Uh. Who cares.
Time is so slow when you wait for it anyway.
Whatever.
I refreshed the page again.
Oh good. The story is still there.
I was quite alarmed with her stating that she would probably delete the story.
I really hope she wouldn't do it.
I tried to copy the whole thing but she must've ticked the Disallow Text Selection thingy because I can't highlight anything.
I had half a mind to type everything but then the Save Page As proved to be much useful.
See? I can think sometimes even when I'm in such a state too.
Ah. Well, being alone for the time being is really peaceful.
I feel quite better now actually.
Peace and quiet. It's so love—
"HYUNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!"
--
I ignored the obnoxiously loud voice outside my room and the incessant knocks that followed after it.
Come to think of it, there's a lot of knocks. All over my door.
Plus, there were giggles.
Lots of giggles.
Then silence.
Then some whispering.
Then...
"CARELESS CARELESS SHOOT ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS. CARELESS CARELESS--"
What the h--
"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!" I shouted once I opened the door and found twelve seven-year old kids staring up at me.
"WAAAHHH! HE'S SCARY! HYUNGGG!"The panda looking kid with the stick on his back cried, clutching to this foreign looking kid.
"I told you our chant would work."
The wide eyed little kid smiled proudly.
"Kai, your hyung looks like a girl!" This kid with a seemingly permanent happy face etched on his face giggled.
What the hell are all these kids doing outside my room?!
Did our house suddenly became an orphanage or what?!
"KAI!"I bellowed, trying to look for my stupid little brother.
"Hyung! We're hungry!" Kai suddenly emerged from the back, clutching his stomach.
"So what?!" I said, annoyed.
"Why the heck are you telling me that?! Go tell it to mom!"
"Mom and dad are not here. They're in a con...con..." He bit his nails, looking confused.
"Uhm...con...con...fusion. They're in a confusion. Yes. That's it." He nodded but still looked hesitant.
"Huh?" I stared at him.
"I think he means convention, hyung. Your parents are in a convention." This quiet looking guy who kind of looks like a mini Choi Siwon said helpfully.
"What?" I squinted my eyes.
"Then go wait for them. Don't bother me! I'm busy!" I frowned and turned to close the door again but a sudden attack stopped me.
A stick suddenly blocked my door from closing.
"Hyung." Panda suddenly looked at me darkly.
"We're hungry. Feed us."
"HUNGRY HUNGRY FOOD FEED US FEED US"They suddenly said in unison.
"What the !" I accidentally said aloud.
"HUH!!! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?? CAN I SAY IT? IT SOUNDS SO COOL!!! !!" This tiny looking kid who had...hey! IS THAT EYELINER?! underneath his eye looked at me, admiringly.
"Did I say it right?" He looked proud.
Oops.
"HEY! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT!!!" I said, alarmed.
"But whyyy?" He pouted.
"Erm. Let's just go eat." I mumbled, guilty for my slip.
They all followed me in the kitchen, much to my irritation.
"What are all of you guys doing here?!" I demanded.
"We're having a sleep over!" This kid with the pointy chin volunteered.
"SLEEP OVER?!" I was horrified.
"Yah!" I turned to my brother.
"Do mom and dad know this?!"
"Of course!" He said defensively.
"They agreed?!" I asked dubiously.
"YES!! MOM AGREED!!" He shouted.
"HOW?!" I shouted back.
"We have classes tomorrow, you dummy!!"
"No we don't!" The little kid who looked like a Chinese ullzang said.
"Tomorrow is Teacher's Conference Day! It's school wide."
"What the heck is that?! I don't know that! We don't have that! Maybe only you first graders are having that teacher conference thingy."
"Uh. It's school wide. Duh." This lil fatty kid rolled his eyes.
I glared at him. Brat!
I opened the fridge but there wasn't enough to feed twelve brats.
Hmm...what to do??
"HYUNG! CAN WE HAVE BACON?!"
"HYUNG! I WANT KIMCHI!!"
"HYUNG! PLEASE DON'T PUT ANY DAIRY IN MY FOOD! I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT!"
"HYUNG! DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS YET??"
"HYUNG!"
"HYUNG!"
"HYUNGGGG!"
I clapped my hands over my ears.
What did I ever do to deserve this?!
--
"There! I cooked already! Now you guys clean up after yourselves! Understand?" I helped the smallest one in his chair.
"Well, you have to carry me! I can't reach the sink!" The calm one pouted up at me.
I ruffled my hair in frustration.
"ARGH! Who's the tallest one here then?!" I demanded.
"Uh. You. Duh." Kai made a face.
"I meant you and your group of brats! Who the heck is the tallest out of all of you?"
"That would be me!" The foreign looking kid stood up proudly.
Tsch. You call that tall?
"Okay, fine. Uh, tall kid. You go--"
"His name is Kris!" The calm one interrupted.
"Huh?"
"Suho-Kai-Sehun-Luhan-Chanyeol-D.O.-Kris-Lay-Baekhyun-Xiumin-Chen-Tao." He said in one breath, pointing to each of his friend.
"Why are you telling me this?" I crossed my arms.
"So that you'll know our names, hyung!"
"I can't remember all twelve names at once!" I complained.
"Pfft. How hard can it be, really?" The pretty one said.
"I mean, teacher had us memorizing the table of five in multiplication in math class today! And it was sooo easy! And we're only in the first grade!"
"True! Hyung should be able to memorize our names!"
"Whatever, SeHan." I mumbled.
"It's SeHun." He corrected.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Look, I don't really care, all right?" I sighed.
"You! The tall one! Kris, is it?" I pointed at him.
"You go clean up."
"HUH?! WHY ONLY ME?!" He complained.
"Because you can reach the sink, Mr. I'm-so-tall-and-I'm-proud-of-it!"
"Ehhh. Chanyeol is almost as tall as me!" He continued to whine.
"Fine, fine! You go help him too! You...with the permanent :D face on!"
"I don't have a permanent :D face on!" He crossed his arms, pouting.
"Whatever."
"Well, Tao is as tall as me! Why is he not going to help?"
"Fine! Whoever Tao is, you're going to help in cleaning! Got that?"
It turns out that it was the panda kid because he suddenly drew his stick and nodded solemnly.
"Okay!"
"The rest of you, you go place your bowls in the kitchen after you're done! Okay?" I marched out of the dining area hearing complaints such as
"Hyung's ramen tastes weird."
"Hyung is so bossy!"
"Hyung !"
Ungrateful brats!
I sat on the couch in the living room and attempted to watch TV, now that I know there's no class tomorrow, maybe assignment can wait for a while.
"Hyung..." Someone suddenly tapped me on the back.
"What?" I turned and saw that Kris kid staring up at me with foam in his face.
Why the heck is there foam in his face?!
"What happened?" I stood up.
"We can't find the soap to clean up the dishes. Also, Tao broke two bowls."
"WHAT?!"I went to the kitchen to find the three struggling with just freaking washing the dishes.
"What the heck." I muttered, annoyed.
"Go away. I'll do it. So annoying..." I mumbled.
"Whew! Hyung, washing the dishes is hard!" Chanyeol sighed.
"You haven't even washed one of these!" I frowned and shooed them away from the kitchen.
"Just go and chant or whatever."
"We don't chant."
"Hey, hey! I know! Can we just go sing Karaoke hyung??" Chanyeol looked excited.
"Yeah! Yeah! Yayyy!"
"No!" I scowled.
"Go to Kai's room and play with ponies there or whatever!"
The three muttered sullenly while walking away.
--
After doing the dishes, I sat on the couch and watched TV again.
Well, I tried to watch but I was so out of it that I didn't even notice anything else.
"HYUNG. HYUNG. HYUNGGG!"
I blinked, snapping out of my gaze, the bratpack once again surrounded me.
"What?!" I frowned at them.
"Go away. I'm watching TV!"
"The TV's been off for 20 minutes, hyung."
"Oh."
"Does Kai's hyung have a problem?" Suho asked, looking at me encouragingly.
"What do you know?" I grumbled.
"You're only seven."
"Oh, you'd be surprised~" Kris smirked.
"Do you want us to help you, hyung?"
They all nodded. "Do you?"
I stared at them, feeling a bit inspired.
None of the things I tried worked anyway.
Maybe it was really time I get some help.
--
EXO'S GUIDE ON HOW TO SAY SORRY TO A GIRL: [The following will be narrated in conversation/script mode]
1. Suho.
Suho: Okay, hyung. I understand that you did something wrong to a girl, am I correct?
Me: Yes. Yes, that's precisely correct.
Suho: I see. Have you tried saying Sorry?
Me: Yes. Uh. I did. (that one outside the halls counted, right?)
Suho: Oh. *shrugs*
Me: Uh-huh...
Suho: *plays with the threads in his shirt*
Me: So?
Suho: So what?
Me: What is your advice?
Suho: Oh. Say Sorry, of course. You did something wrong after all.
Me: I told you I just did that!
Suho: Ah. I understand. *nods*
Me: Well?
Suho: *shrugs* I got nothing.
Me: *frowns* Next!
2. D.O.
Me: Well? Any advices? Tactics?
D.O. : O_O
Me: Thinking, huh? Okay. Take your time.
D.O.: O_O
-After five minutes of absolute silence-
Me: Soooo, any ideas yet?
D.O.: O_O
Me: Hm? Are you not going to speak at all?
D.O.: O_O
Me: Well, that's helpful. Any other expressions?
D.O.: O.O
Me: *shakes head* All right, that's it! Next!
3. Baekhyun
Me: This better be good.
Baekhyun: Of course, hyung! What I'm about to suggest to you is absolutely foolproof!
Me: Uh-huh. So what is it?
Baekhyun: I mean, it would totally work if anyone said sorry to me this way.
Me: Really? Okay, let's hear it.
Baekhyun: Okay, but you have to know that you will have to spend some money.
Me: I see. So what is your tactic?
Baekhyun: But I assure you, it is foolproof and--
Me: Yeah, yeah. What's your suggestion?!
Baekhyun: It's obvious! You have to say Sorry through Bacon!
Me: O_O
Baekhyun: Spell 'SORRY' using Bacon, hyung. A delicious apology! Yummy! No girl can resist it.
Me: Next!
Baekhyun: Oh, you're gonna think about it, huh? Well, if the girl's not gonna eat the bacon, you can always give it to--
Me: NEXT!
4. SeHun
SeHun: One word, hyung. Or is it two? Eyeliner.
Me: Huh?
SeHun: Okay, I understand that Baekhyun is the one who love using eyeliner the most, but I use it too. And girls always dig it.
Me: You're only seven. O.O
SeHun: If it fails, you can use aegyo. Bbuing bbuing works best. Kind of like: Hey, I'm sorry, bbuing bbuing~ guaranteed forgiveness!
Me: Next!
SeHun: Wait! I know other forms of aegyo--
Me: Next!!!
5. Chanyeol.
Chanyeol: :D
Me: .....
Chanyeol: :D
Me: Okay, don't tell me. You're the happy version of D.O.
Chanyeol: :D
Me: *sighs* Next!
Chanyeol: Wait, does that mean I pass the audition?
Me: What audition?
Chanyeol: Oh. Is this not an audition, hyung?
Me: Next!
6. Kris.
Kris: I am very sure that saying sorry was already suggested to you, hyung. Most likely by Suho, yes?
Me: Yes. *nods*
Kris: Well, you need to know the secret hyung. It's all about looking good. If you're going to say sorry, you have to be in your best clothes, have really nice, fluffy hair, and have the most intense expression. *strucks an intense expression.* I am sorry. *runs hand through hair and gazes intently*
*returns to normal expression*See? Like that.
Me: Where do you learn these things?!
Kris: From experience, of course!
Me: Experience? You have experience on these things?
Kris: Well...one is usually just really born with it...there's nothing we can do about it if we're just really good looking and--
Me: Well, that's nice. I might just take that into
consideration. Next!
7. Xiumin.
Me: So, hey.
Xiumin: Hello.
Me: Mmm...Are you...Chinese or Korean?
Xiumin: Chinese.
Me: I see. So any suggestions?
Xiumin: Have you tried...giving steamed buns to her?
Me: *squints* What is with you guys and food?
Xiumin: Food is actually the way to a girl's heart.
Me: Well...uh...isn't that for men only?
Xiumin: *solemn expression* It's for girls too.
Me: I see. *nods* but I'm not actually out to get her heart, only her apology.
Xiumin: *stares at me carefully* Hyung, it will do you no good to lie. Especially if you're lying to your heart.
Me: *feels nervous* Okay. This is enough. You're only seven, and you still know nothing--
Xiumin: Love is the same no matter what age you are--
Me: Next!
Xiumin: Please stop lying to yourself and--
Me: *eyes twitches nervously* Next! Next! Next! Stop saying nonsense, kid! NEEEEXT!
Xiumin: *gives an eerie, but still strangely adorable smile and leaves*
8. Lay
Me: *calms down when a new face was seen* Okay. Better. Whew. Any suggestions?
Lay: Hyung, words do not work well with me, so I'd rather show it.
Me: *puzzled* Uh. Okay.
Lay: *stands up and suddenly dances* Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Naega naega naega meonjeo
Me: Haha! Okay. That's cute. *claps* You're like a mini Super Junior dancer or whatever! Haha!
Lay: *stops dancing* Hyung, please do not disturb me when I am dancing. I cannot concentrate.
Me: *ashamed* Sorry...*later on dances as well because cannot resist*
Lay:*stops again* Please do not dance while I'm dancing, hyung.
Me: Oh. Sorry. *but dances again after 10 seconds*
Lay: *annoyed*
Me: *stops, embarrassed* Sorry. *tries to restraint natural love for dancing*
Lay: *nods and proceeds to do entire dance choreography while singing* Well?
Me: *claps feebly* thank you for your efforts.
Lay: Did you like it, hyung?
Me: Yes, very much so!
Lay: Okay. *nods* I will now demonstrate the ballet version.
Me: *sits up straight* Wait. What?
Lay: I said, I will now do the ballet version of Sorry Sorry. Then the jazz
version, then the hiphop version. Just so you will have a choice on what to--
Me: Ehe...I think I already have it down, Lay. Thank you so much. I don't want to exhaust you or anything.
Lay: *doubtful look* Are you sure, hyung? You don't seem like a very good dancer to me...
Me: EXCUSE ME?!
Lay: *looks at me innocently* there are only a few of us who are born to be dancers, hyung...
Me: ...... >.<
Lay: I can always give you free lessons if you want!
Me: NEXT!
9. Chen
Chen: HYUNG. SINGING IS THE BEST WAY TO GO. GIRLS ALWAYS LOVE THE SINGERS BEST.
Me: Huh. I thought it was the dancers that they love best.
Chen: PFFT. DANCERS ARE ONLY SECOND TO SINGERS.
Me: Ha. Have you tried telling Lay that?
Chen: WHO CARES ABOUT LAY? LAY IS SERIOUSLY DELUDED. DANCING ALL THE TIME AND STUFF. SO IS KAI. SINGERS ARE THE BEST, OKAY? HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF MICHAEL JACKSON?
Me: *dumbfounded* Yes...but he was more of a dancer, I think--
Chen: NO. *irritated* HE WAS A SINGER BEFORE HE DANCED. OKAY? A SINGER.
Me: Do you really need to write in all-caps while we're writing this script to show the readers what we just talked about?
Chen: YES. I HAVE ONLY RECENTLY MASTERED HOW TO WRITE IN UPPERCASE LETTERS, HYUNG. IT IS VERY FUN.
Me: Okay...
Chen: DOT. DOT. DOT.
Me: Err...what are the dots for?
Chen: I DON'T KNOW. I WAS COPYING YOU.
Me: Okay, weird. Let's just proceed, huh? What can you suggest?
Chen: IF I'VE NEVER MENTIONED THIS BEFORE, I THINK SINGERS ARE THE BEST--
Me: Yes, you mentioned it before. Thank you very much.
Chen: AH YES. I FORGOT. SORRY. ANYWAY, YOU CAN TRY SINGING TO HER.
Me: What should I sing then? Don't tell me Sorry, Sorry Answer or something like that. Because that is a five-minute song and I'm not doing it.
Chen: NO. OF COURSE NOT. YOU CAN SING OTHER SONGS, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE AN INTRO.
Me: What is a good intro, then?
Chen: TRY: 'GULL I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHAT I FEEL.'
Me: What the hell is GULL?
Chen: IT IS THE BADASS WAY OF SAYING GIRL.
Me: Er. What's wrong with 'Gurl' then?
Chen: THAT'S SO GAY AND OVERUSED, HYUNG. GULL IS THE WAY TO GO! REPEAT AFTER ME-- GULL, I CAN'T EXPLAIN--
Me: Okay. I think I will just repeat later, when no one can actually hear me. Thank you, NEXT!
10. Luhan
Luhan: Hello, hyung~
Me: Hello. -.-
Luhan: Hm. Feeling a bit down or tired hyung?
Me: Frankly, yes.
Luhan: Who is Frankly? *innocent look*
Me: Huh? *Confused*
Luhan: You just said, Frankly, yes. I'm sorry hyung, but my name is Luhan. You should say; Luhan, yes.
Me. >.<
Luhan: Hyung makes such funny faces. *giggles* Here you go. I found this is in my bag. I thought you might like it.
Me: *gasps* BANANUH MILKKK! *stands up, looking crazed* SUCH SALVATION FROM ALL THESE DREARY SUGGESTIONS. THIS MAKES UP FOR EVERYTHING--
Luhan: *steps back with wide, scared eyes* HYUUNGGG! *opens door to flee crazy man who's rejoicing because of banana milk* HYUNGGG! I THINK TAEMIN HYUNG IS POSSESSED! I'MSCAREDI'MSCAREDI'MSCARED!! SEHUNNNNNNN I NEED YOUUUU!
11. Tao
Me: Hello. *sips banana milk, feeling energized again*
Tao: Hyung, I will get straight to the point. I may be one of the youngest in our group, but I'm extremely dangerous. *brings out stick for emphasis*
Me: I can see that. *sip sip*
Tao: Okay. I have a few offers for you. First, you can choose to defend her.
Me: What?
Tao: *sighs* Get someone to attack this girl, hyung. Attack her then you will get to defend her. Then boom! Instant friendship! No girl can resist a hero!
Me: ....O_O save her?
Tao: Yes. Now what I'm about to offer you, is something you can't tell anyone. Not even my parents.
Me: What? *Nervous*
Tao: I can offer my services to attack her.
Me: WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?
Tao:*calm* I am not. I am perfectly capable of knocking someone down with just one hit--
Me: *drops banana milk on the floor*
Tao: *picks it up* Do not waste food hyung~ Okay. Second suggestion is that I will give her an amnesia.
Me: *chokes*
Tao: Uh-huh. So that she will forget everything. What you did and stuff, so that when she wakes up in the hospital, you guys will be okay again! Although, okay. I must say, this is more pricey than my first offer--
Me: ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR A LIVING?! ARE YOU A HIT MAN FOR HIRE?! MYGODMYGODMYGOD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN OUR HOUSE. MYGOD. I'M SO DEAD--
Tao: Calm down, hyung. I am just a panda-loving kid. That's all. I fight like kung-fu panda. Keke. v^w^
Me: asdfghjkl
Tao: Back to the matter at hand, though. Do you want me to give her a permanent amnesia? I know exactly which part of the head to hit. A complete wipe-out of memories, it was like she was born again! Another is just the temporary one. She will just lose most probably her memory from last year and--
Me: I actually do not want to put her in any kind of danger--
Tao: *chuckles* Are you worried about the price, hyung? Do not worry. It is not so expen--
Me: *shaking terribly* I-It's okay...O.O I think I will just tell you if I ever need your services...Next!
Tao: Wait, do you want my card?
Me: You have a card?
Tao: Yes, of course.
Me: Okay, well maybe next--
Tao: TAKE. MY. CARD. *glares dangerously and brings out stick again*
Me: *scared less* O-OKAY. GIVE ME A THOUSAND CARDS IF YOU WANT!! JUST PLEASE DON'T WIPE MY MEMORIES AWAY!!
Tao: Heh. Works every time.
12. Kai
Me: Oh wait. You're next? Never mind.
Kai: *pouts* what do you mean by that?!
Me: You're my brother.
Kai: So? That means I can't help?
Me: Did you really line up outside like everyone else for your turn?
Kai: Yes.
Me: You must be crazy!
Kai: *pouts more*
Me: Argh. Okay. Fine. Just stop pouting. What do you have?
Kai: Can I ask something first, hyung?
Me: What?
Kai: Are we talking about the girl in the story that I saw in your laptop before?
Me: *startled* N-No...
Kai: Such a terrible liar. *laughs* Have you tried doing something unexpected for her, hyung?
Me: Something...unexpected?
Kai: Uh-huh.
Me: If you mean dancing or singing for her, or defending her while she's being attacked then you can forget about--
Kai: Not that! That's silly! What I meant is doing something nice for her. Something she really doesn't expect. Girls are soft, you know.
Sure, they're not easy to woo, but you can always try. But just make sure you mean it. Girls can tell when you're just faking it. They're smart that way.
Me: D:
Kai: Hyung...think about it. If saying sorry didn't work, then maybe you had hurt her more than you thought in the first place. Actions speak louder than words, you know.
Me: D:
Kai: *shrugs* I'm just saying...maybe you can cook for her, maybe you can give her flowers or maybe you can offer to walk her home. These things secretly makes a girl happy.
Me: D:
Kai: But...there are other things you can try. Just surprise her. I bet you that will work, and because you're my hyung, I have full confidence in you! Your very smart, hyung! So I'm sure you'll figure out what will make her forgive you in no time. *does V sign*
Me: D: Where do you get this wisdom, Kai? Are you somehow really older than me?
Kai: *frowns* No. You look older anyway! Stop saying lies and bad things!
Me: O_O
Kai: Anyway, that's all! Hey, did I give a good advice compared to my friends? They're such experts on these things.
Me: Experts? They're experts? Are you sure?
Kai: Surreee. That's why they're my friends.
Me: Take it from me, Kai. >.< You definitely give better advice.
Kai: :)
Me: :D
Kai: :DD
Me: :DDD
Kai: v^.^
Me: Yeah, okay. Get out of my room now.
Kai: Oh. Okay. Bye hyung! *leaves*
Me: *stares at the door, whispering* Goodnight, dongsaeng.
And thanks. You actually did help me today.
Which, to be honest, is something I wasn't expecting at all.
--
Zzzzzz...
Zzzzzz....
Zzzzz...
"Mr. Lee? Mr. Lee?!"
Zzzzzz...
Zzzzzz....
Something unexpected...
Zzzzzz...
"Mr. Lee?! MISTER LEE!!"
Zzzzzz...
Zzzzzz....
*200 paper balls attack*
My head snapped up at the paper balls hitting my head and back.
"YAH!"I sat straight up.
"Who threw this paper ball at me?! Huh?! Huh?! HUH?!"
"TAEMIINNN~" I saw Onew hyung whispering so loudly, paper balls in hand, and attempting to widen his eyes the best way he can and pointing to someone behind me.
"AHEM. MISTER LEE."
I glanced up, wincing.
Oh wait. Is he referring to me or to Onew hyung?
I glanced at prof, he looked annoyed.
At me.Oops.
"Uh. Yes, prof?" I stood up and bowed.
"Please answer the equation on the board and explain the solution."
I glanced at the problem.
Okay fine, easy enough.
I took the marker and solved the problem quickly, not really thinking about it.
"Good, good." Prof Yunho nodded, pleased.
"Care to explain how you arrived at that answer?"
I capped the marker and held it with shaking hands.
Explain. Explain everything.
Explain how I arrived at this.
Do something unexpected…
My eyes landed on her.
She was looking at me and I saw the hesitation in her eyes on whether she should turn her head away or not.
But she didn't, she only continued to stare.
This time though, it was me who couldn't hold her gazes anymore.
"Mr. Lee?" Prof Yunho asked.
I looked away, distracted.
"Y-Yes, sir." I blinked fast.
"I'll explain." I looked at her again.
"...I'll explain everything." I murmured, looking down at my brand new sneakers.
"F-for...this problem, we had to apply the chain rule." I cleared my throat.
Man, I totally hate speaking in public. I really, really hate it.
Do something unexpected…
Dot…
I can offer to attack her…
Do something unexpected…
"Uh-huh...continue." Prof nodded.
I gulped, frightened, why am I remembering weird things?!
"After applying the chain rule which is to compute the derivative of the composition of two or more functions, we would need to..." I glanced up and made the mistake of looking at her.
Because it was so distracting.
"We would need to..." I took a deep breath.
"I would need to..." I met her eyes, was it just my imagination or did she look concerned?
Am I being delusional?
"Need...t-to...to..." I bit my lip.
"You need to what?" Prof Yunho looked quite confused.
"I need to..." I tried to calm down my racing heart.
"I need to..."
Come on, Taemin! Just explain the freaking solu—
Do something unexpected…
"Apologize."I gasped the word out.
I really need to apologize...
"Huh. What for?" Prof Yunho continued to look confused and leaned nearer curiously.
"I'm just..." I blinked fast.
"I'm just..." I looked at her straight in the eyes.
"Sorry."I felt my breath hitching.
"Excuse me?" Prof Yunho seemed taken aback.
"I'm sorry." I repeated in a soft voice.
"I'm so, so, sorry." I whispered.
"I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you." I can hear and feel my voice trembling.
But I needed to get this all out.
"I'm sorry that I always ditched you, that I didn't give a second thought to your efforts. I'm really, so, sorry." I clutched the marker firmly.
"I apologize that I said yes without even thinking about it. I'm sorry that I would purposely kiss other girls in front of you. That I kept on pushing you, that I kept on testing your limits." I looked down again.
"I'm sorry that I hurt you like that. I knew how that feels; to get hurt. So I'm sorry because I'm doing that very thing to you." I threw her a pleading look.
"I know I was wrong. I know that now. And I'm truly regretful for it."
I looked up, meeting her gaze, she looked baffled with the words I'm saying.
"I know I deserve your coldness more than anything else, your mean looks and your silent treatment." I held the marker firmly in my hands.
"I'm so sorry that I made you hurt that way, enough for you to change into someone you're not."
I finally dropped the marker on the floor.
"Mr. Lee?" I ignored my confused professor and got off the platform.
"Aya sunbae...no." I shook my head. She's not just a sunbae to me anymore.
"Aya...noona, will you please forgive me?" I looked at her, begging with my eyes.
She looked back at me, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
"I..." She suddenly spoke up in a struggling voice.
But it felt good hearing it.
Because It didn't sound cold anymore.
It sounded like her.
"I..." This time, averting her eyes, she stood up.
I looked at her hopefully.
Is she finally going to forgive me?
Please forgive me. Pleasepleaseplease.
I won't do it again.
Just plea—
"I need to go to the washroom." She suddenly announced hurriedly.
"Wait. What?" Prof Yunho, who was watching everything avidly, suddenly frowned.
"Washroom? What for? You know I don't allow students to go out during my class. Aren't you going to forgive--"He stopped and cleared his throat.
"I mean, what would you do there? Is it urgent?"
"Yes. Urgent. It's a..." She looked at me again, blinking fast.
"It's a..." All of a sudden, she let out a sob and looked away from me again while hastily covering .
"Noona?" I murmured in concern, unable to stop myself.
Please don't cry.
"It's a...broken-hearted girl thing, okay?" She let out another sob and scooped up her tiny bag, her hand over as she walked out of the room fast.
I stared after her, a sinking feeling was settling in my stomach.
I glanced at Onew hyung, he looked concerned then he looked at me, an unreadable emotion echoing in his face.
Yuna noona has her head in her hands.
I looked down, dejected.
How come it feels like I still screwed everything up?
--
Prof Yunho let everything go, he still seemed confused and shocked by the whole thing and we were tasked to answer a whole page of problems to be passed at the end of the period.
But I couldn't concentrate at all.
"Hey."
I looked to my side to find Onew hyung finally sitting beside me again.
"Hey." I mumbled and tapped my pencil softly against the page.
"Are you okay?" He asked softly.
I looked down and didn't say anything.
"Taemin..." He finally broke the silence, looking at me sadly.
"I'm so sorry..."
"Hyung..." I looked at him, still confused and feeling down.
"Was it still not enough? I did the corrective action..." I whispered.
"Did I not do it right, hyung?" I asked meekly but he didn't say anything.
Oh no. Maybe I did do it wrong...
"No. No, it was right, Minnie. I'm sorry. I should've been a better hyung to you. I was so preoccupied with other things that I forgot that I have a dongsaeng who needed my help." He looked at me regretfully.
"I'm so sorry..."
"Hyung, it's okay." I didn't like to see my favorite hyung that way.
"I was the one who was wrong..."
"I shouldn't have left you alone like that. I should've known you were confused and you were struggling and this is all new to you. I'm really sorry...You're still our maknae, after all." He sighed.
"I'm fine, hyung. I'm a man now." I mumbled.
"You're not. Not yet anyway. You're still a kid. That's why it still hurts for you when she's ignoring you like that."
I shook my head in denial and looked at her empty seat in the back.
She hasn't returned from the washroom yet.
"It's okay." He said gently.
"It's normal to shield your heart like that, especially because she was a noona."
"What am I supposed to do, hyung?" I asked and looked at him, feeling helpless.
"Give her time. She'll come around. I mean, this is Aya. The one who was always there and tried hard for you to like her. Even lying about her age and not giving up on you even though you kept on ditching her."
I winced at his words, it sounds so terrible when I listen to what I did to her before.
Especially because I used to find them reasonable.
"Hyung..."
"Time, Taemin." He adviced.
"She needs time. Just like you need time to be able to heal your wounds from your first love."
I shook my head feeling a fresh wave of pain when I remembered her, it seems like there are wounds that will never heal at all.
"Taemin, can I ask why you just did that?"
"T-That?" I looked at him.
"Yes. That. Apologizing to her in front of everyone. You hate public speaking. You had to ask Minho every time to get you ketchup from the counter girl whenever we go out to eat."
"Oh. That. I just didn't like the way the counter girl was looking at me."
"Not that! I meant, what you just said...or...did up there. That took a lot of guts."
Now that I think about it, I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID ALL THOSE THINGS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!!!
"Huh." Onew hyung took a look at my pale face and sighed.
"You were that determined to say sorry that you forgot there were people around?"
"Ngh. Did you guys really heard everything?"
"Well, yes." He looked at me curiously.
"I guess you like her that much, huh? What took you so long? And it's a noona again! Haha! You sly dog!"
I smartened when I heard that. No. Not the sly dog part. The like part.
"I-I don't like her!"
"Tsch. In denial. So cute."
"I'm serious!"
"Why'd you do that then?" He asked challengingly.
"I needed peace, okay?" I said, trying to convince myself of this as well.
"I knew I was wrong and I can't stand her looking at me with those hurt looks anymore. I had to do something."
"So it was out of conscience?"
"Yes." I answered quickly.
Maybe a little too quickly.
"Hm. Well--"
All of a sudden, the bell rang.
"Oh no!" Onew hyung suddenly panicked.
"I'm just on number five! Oh no! Oh no!" He waved his hand around in dismay, hitting me squarely in the face.
"Ow." I winced.
"Eep! I'm sorry, Taemin!" He panicked again.
"Never mind that! Give me it!" I panicked as well and took the paper from his hands and proceeded to answer the next five quickly.
"Yah, what are you doing?!" He hissed.
"The second bell hasn't rung yet. We have precisely," I looked at my watch.
"Four minutes." I quickly answered the remaining problems, using the short cut methods.
"But you haven't even answered number one in your own paper!!" He panicked yet again.
"It's okay, hyung." I flashed him a quick grin.
"Think of it as my Thank You for being there for me again."
"Does that mean you'll treat me to chicken later?" He brightened.
I snorted. "No." and continued to write away.
That's when the second bell rang.
"Okay, pass your papers!"
"TIME, SIR! WE NEED TIME!" Onew hyung shouted, answering MY paper in return while everyone else also protested.
"Fine." Prof Yunho sighed.
"This class has so much weirdness and drama. It's giving me a headache! Just...just make sure you pass your papers on our next meeting. As an assignment."
"YES!" L hyung pumped his fist in the air and quickly shoved his unfinished work in his bag and everyone else stood up to talk or to go off.
I sighed in relief until I saw Aya noona enter the room again. Her eyes were rimmed red, evidence that she was crying.
"Oh, you guys are still not dismissed?" She murmured.
"Aya..." Yuna noona walked to her, concerned.
"Wait." She held up her hand and looked at me for a second before looking at prof again.
"I'll just be a minute. Wait for me outside, Yuna."
Her best friend nodded and walked out of the room.
"There's your chance. I bet Aya finally saw the light and loves you again!" Onew hyung grinned and ruffled my hair.
"I'll wait outside as well, okay?"
I nodded, nervous, and quickly arranged my things.
Only about seven people were left in the room.
I saw her looking at the scattered papers in the desks of our classmates and frowned, probably wondering.
"Prof?" She walked up to him and I followed after her, in a discreet distance.
"What is--Oh. Ms. Toma. Are you okay now?" Prof looked at her in concern.
"Yes." She said in a clipped voice and looked down.
"That's good."
She nodded, not saying anything and I took that as my cue to go and talk to her.
I was about to tap her back, rehearsing again what I was going to say.
"Prof." She suddenly looked at him, determined, and that made me take a step back in surprise, since the next words she uttered, not at all in a hesitant voice, made my broken-uneven-thumping heart break even more.
"Would it still be possible to change partners for the project?"
--
I sat in my chair for last period, English.
I've been sitting in all my subjects, dazed and out of it.
She wanted to change partners.
She didn't want to be my partner anymore.
After I said all those things, after saying sorry to her in front of everyone.
I was practically begging.
Why is it that none of the things I ever put an effort to, work?
Why must life be so unfair?
Was I really that mean to her?
To noonas?
To be honest, I didn't want to care about it anymore.
After I heard those words, my breath caught in my throat and I quickly turned around to walk away, even ignoring Onew hyung who was waiting for me outside.
Then I skipped my next class.
Then I spent my recess and lunch at the library.
Surprisingly, my hyungs went with me and tried to comfort my confused heart.
"I feel like this great depression happened before. Back with Joo--"
"Ssh! Don't mention her." Minho hyung glared at Jonghyun hyung who shrugged and mumbled an apology.
"How dare that girl do that to my precious baby! I will get her--"
I tuned out Key hyung's angry maternal tone and turned to the book I had absently grabbed on one of the shelves.
"Taemin, you're holding the book upside down." Onew hyung said in concern and grasped the book from my hands and turned it to the right position.
"There." He smiled at me kindly.
"Look Minnie, things might seem upside down right now, you're the one who's going after her this time and she's the one being cold but--"
"No precious baby of mine will have to go begging for another girl's forgiveness! I will make that girl pay! I will paint her hair green and I will--"
"Key." Minho hyung shook his head, giving Key hyung a warning look.
"I think orange will look better. Bright orange." He smiled wickedly.
"You guys. She's a girl!" Jonghyun said disapprovingly.
"I say we attack her man. Who is it anyway? Gong chan or whoever?"
They continued to debate about this matter heatedly.
"Ignore them." Onew hyung shook his head and tried to get my attention.
"Look, listen to me, okay?" He looked at me intently.
"I understand that you're only doing this because you want to create peace inside you, right? Because you didn't like what you did to her?" He clarified.
"Yes." I nodded then an uneasy feeling settled inside me.
Is that really just the reason why I wanted her forgiveness?
"I see." Onew hyung nodded.
"That makes thing easier. At least you're not like, in love with her or something and you're just suddenly realizing it now after you made that huge, stupid mistake because really..." He gave me a look.
"I am so buying that I'm With Stupid Shirt with the arrow and I'm going to sit beside you every single time." He crossed his arms.
"Right." I gulped and tried to ignore the strong uneasy feeling.
Maybe because I hadn't had lunch yet?
"Good. Because you know, things won't be so depressing if that's the case. That means you can wait for a little more longer for her forgiveness. I'm sure it'll come." He nodded.
"Well...what if...you know, by theory," I my lips nervously.
"I'm asking for her forgiveness because I'm starting to...like her?"
He gave me a suspicious look.
"Wh--"
"WHICH YOU KNOW IS SUCH A HUGE JOKE!"I added nervously and he stared at me before finally raising an eyebrow.
"I really do hope that it is just a joke, Taemin." He looked at me sadly.
"Otherwise, every second that she's ignoring you, every second that she's mad at you, every second that she's with another guy...will hurt. It will hurt." He looked at me in concern.
"So much."
I tensed, suddenly feeling depressed.
How come he just described how it exactly feels for me?
Thump, th—
--
"Okay class, pop quiz! Yay! Please bring out your pens. Blue only, with a .3 tip." Prof Xander clapped his hands majestically and produced a pile of papers, snapping me out of my thinking.
"Don't worry my darlings, this is very easy! Reading comprehension! Fun, right?"
He smiled widely as he watched us pass the paper to each other.
"Your twenty minutes starts now!"
I glanced at it, sighing.
At least it's reading.
Reading is fun.
Reading will take my mind off everything.
After precisely ten minutes, I finished reading the whole thing.
It was about the Nazi and World War II. Pretty easy.
Five questions came after it and I answered everything without much thought.
Can I still change partners for the project? -aya
And I never thought I would see the day when Taemin would feel very regretful and possessive of aya all in one blow. Nyahaha! serves him right. -jaedrug
...though I kind of feel sympathetic because he's confuse but Aya unnie hwaiting he totally deserves the COLD shoulder!! -seal580
LOOOL. THE FIRST PART. KAIII SO CUUUTE. LOOOL. And Taemin you deserve it so much, I'm sorry but you do D; -littlejinki
Serves you right, Taemin! You should've just said sorry to Aya! :P Aya, keep fighting! Let him realize what a loss you are to him! *pumps fist* - changmer_24
finally minnie... minnie... kyaaaaaa~ such a jerk.. -marz_ai
Why do everything I read lately hurts so badly?
Lee Taemin
Section III-A
Quiz#3: English
1. According to the article, how did WW II started?
Because I broke her heart that fateful night.
Ah, I should have never said YES if I wasn't going to take it seriously.
2. What is the full name of the Leader of the Nazis' and why did he hate Jews so much? Answers may be bulleted.
Bullet? I stared at it absently.
Why do I need to bullet my answers? There was only one answer.
His full name is Lee Taemin.
Because one of their kind rejected him really badly after he trusted her with his heart.
3. Who was the known German leader who protected the Jews against the other Germans by giving them jobs in his factory?
Lee Jinki.
I smiled absently. Onew hyung was so nice to me today, even though he gave such scary advice, but at least he understands. Like always.
4. What is the punishment for the Jews who got caught disobeying the Nazi laws?
Punishment...
Perhaps I'm being punished?
Because I'm such a bad person. :(
Being ignored.
Being replaced so quickly.
Will be given the cold treatment.
Will not be forgiven even if you say sorry publicly.
5. How long did WW II last?
How long? After all I did to her, I won't be surprised if she won't talk to me again for our whole high school life!
Or maybe even—
Forever. :(
Reason to Reconsider# 3: Saying Sorry.
Reason to Reconsider# 3: Saying Sorry doesn't even work anymore.
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