I have this white dress in front of me, taunting me. They want me to put it on and hold a bouquet of roses. This would be beautiful if it didn't bring back stained memories of the past. I look at my hands and see my bare fingers trembling. I always wear rings to hide the small tattoo of his initials on my ring finger. The small K.J burns every single day and I put on jewelry to calm the fire. They didn't let me wear rings for this photoshoot so I had nowhere to hide. I try to hold back my tears as my fingers graze the silk and I close my eyes to remember the past. I instantly go back to one specific memory: when he told me he wanted to be mine for the rest of his life. We were sitting on the bed looking at old trainee-days pictures and cringing at my horrible highlights and his oversized snapbacks. He suddenly grabbed my hand and told me he would never be happy with anyone but me. I laughed and said he was ridiculous but he wouldnt let go of my hand. He made me close my eyes and I tried to peek but it wasn't long before he got on one knee and pulled out a ring. I was 19; he was 22. We always did things without thinking and this was about to be one of them. I look back at that time and I can't help but shake my head. We were fools. We thought happy endings existed. I looked at the ring and I didn't even have to say yes. I gave him one look and he pulled me towards him and we started kissing. It was one of the happiest days of my life. We told our parents because we wanted to get married as soon as possible. They surprisingly accepted. I had picked out my dress and I danced around my dorm looking at myself in the mirror. The ring shined and so did I. I had to sneak around with Jiyong since outsiders didn't know of our relationship. Not even YG oppa knew the extent of it. I snap out of the old memory and realize I had ripped some petals off the roses. I shake my head and go to the dressing room.

After the gruelin