Here's chapter 22. This turned out to be more emotional than expected. Hope you like it anyway. Btw this song would probably make sense towards the end only^^.

The unexpected arrival of her elder brother had startled Junghwa into rigidness; he was honestly the last person she’d expected to see at a time like this. "Jungkook, can you excuse us for a while?" Jungho nodded curtly.

“No-” Junghwa looked at Jungkook frantically. He looked at Jungho nervously.

“Maybe I should stay, hyung-”
“Jungkook. Leave.”

Jungho looked at him angrily, and Jungkook knew better than to argue. He knew, from the way his brother spoke, that he wasn’t to be messed around with. An intimidated Jungkook immediately complied, and walked outside the hospital room, casting Junghwa an apologetic look as he left.

Jungho glanced over at his sister, who was looking at him fearfully.

“Did you take your meds?” He asked softly, and for an instant, Junghwa could breathe. He didn’t seem as angry as he had let on. She nodded slowly, giving him a hesitant smile.

“The nurse came in a while ago…” Junghwa murmured, thinking about the kind nurse who had unfortunately lost her daughter, who succumbed to depression and jumped off the roof of a tall building. She shuddered involuntarily, haunted by the thought of a young girl she didn’t even know.

Jungho looked at her, before clearing his throat.

"First off, I'm very disappointed in you." He said as he sat down on the bed beside her.

"Sorry, Jungho oppa-" She trembled under his unreadable expression, unsure of what he actually had to say.
"Sorry doesn't resolve anything. Anyway-" He took her hand in his. "I'm not here to give you a long lecture. I'm here to give you a reality check. Mom and Dad are dead. Accept it."

Junghwa froze. She didn't like the way he said that. She didn't like it one bit.

"I know you're not liking this one bit, I can see it in your face." He said harshly. "But I've realised that the only way to deal with you is the hard way. Mom and Dad are gone and you have to accept it, like we did."

Junghwa clenched her jaw. Don't cry, don't cry-

"Even Junghee is taking this better than you are."

That was like a slap on the face for Junghwa. Was she the only one who took things this bad?

And suddenly, she felt alone. She felt horrible. Ashamed. She didn't know why, or rather, what had taken it so long, but the sudden arrival of these conflicting emotions had made her heart even heavier with guilt.

"Feeling ashamed? Horrible? Good. Feel that way and get your crying over with. It's been two months."
"This isn't easy on me, you know-" She hissed softly, her emotions on tenterhooks while she bore his harsh words.
"It's not easy on us either. It's not easy on our grandparents that their children are dead. It's not easy on our aunts and uncles that their siblings are dead. But we accepted what happened because eventually all life will come to an end, whether we like it or not-"

"Oppa, you don't get it! Junghwa snapped. "Can't you see? I'm blaming myself for Mom's death every single living moment, and I'm sure Dad died because of the shock of losing Mom and being unable to cope-"

Jungho opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by her words yet again. 

"I blame myself... everyday, it's not easy. Everytime I can't help but think 'If I hadn't gotten myself into drugs, none of this would have happened.' and it just kills me on the inside, Jungho oppa." Junghwa gasped. "I can't even think straight because of everything. I can't help but keep feeling that it's my fault that we're where we are today-"

"Junghwa." Jungho immediately held her close, shushing her just as quickly. Junghwa tried to push him away, her arms giving out on her as she was pulled back into another embrace. Jungho held her face against his chest, so that he couldn't see her tear stained face, as he began to rock her back and forth.

"Hwa... I miss Mom and Dad as much as you do." He said softly, holding her tightly as she shook all over, her sobs becoming more pronounced. "But you should know that none of us are blaming you. We never did."
"Stop fibbing." Junghwa sniffled. "I know you all do."
"Hey. No we don't. Listen, if not that day, it would have easily happened another day. How would you have coped then?"
"...just as bad." She mumbled hesitantly.

"Exactly. Listen to me… Junghwa. I don't know how much comfort this will offer you, but... there's going to be a day when I, and even your siblings won't be a part of your life anymore. It's important that we realise this and accept it, and move on. Pain is a horrible thing, and it demands to be felt. But pain is inevitable. You might not be so outgoing with your new friends but if you accept them, in time, they will become a part of you. It's the same with pain. We can't avoid it, but we must embrace it like a new friend, and in time, it becomes a part of you. Embrace the pain and let go of the past. And it will let go of you."

Junghwa thought deeply about what her brother said, and realised, rather painfully, that he was right. She couldn't sit moping around about her parents forever. As long as they were always in her heart... She could move on. No, she had to move on. And she would. 

"Promise me you're going to change for the better." He murmured, holding her close as she cried into his shirt bitterly. Amidst sniffles and hiccups, she nodded slightly, before giving him a reassuring smile.

"P-Promise."

"Junghwa?"

Yoongi was about to shake her awake, holding his palm out above her shoulder, but he retracted his hand, deciding to let her sleep for a while more. She wasn't going to be discharged from the hospital within the next hour anyway.

He pulled up a chair and sat down next to her bed, running his fingers through his now jet-black hair, which he had only recently dyed as a change from his normal auburn getup.

He was supposed to take her back home today in her brother's stead. Junghwa had obviously not forgiven Jungkook for his little outburst the other day. Plus he was the only one amongst the seven of them who could drive, other than Jin, who wasn't keeping well so he wouldn't have been able to pick them up either way.

Yoongi looked at her face, sighing a little as he noticed that her dark circles had waned considerably. She was slightly pale, almost as pale as he was, but it was not as bad as that day. He still got shivers thinking about what would have happened if Dr. Jang didn't have the counteracting drug with him.

His eyes flickered back and forth, before resting on Junghwa's face once more. There was - it was small, but sure - a smile on her lips as she slept peacefully. Relieved at the improvement in her condition, he sighed again, a sad smile forming on his lips as he her hair unconsciously.

"I'm going to take care of you." He whispered. "I'll get you through this, no matter now long it'll take me. I promise."

“Yoongi.”

Jungkook tapped the older boy’s shoulder, looking at him hopefully. Yoongi looked back at Jungkook, surprised by the hesitant look on Jungkook's face.

“Can you please do me a favour?” He asked quietly.
“What is it?”
“If it’s not too much to ask for, Yoongi-” Jungkook hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck with his palm awkwardly. Yoongi patted his shoulder, and nodded firmly.

“I got you, Jungkook.” Yoongi nodded reassuringly. “What is it?”
“Can you… help my sister?” Jungkook whispered. “Through all this , I mean. You guys are pretty close, so if it’s not too much-”

Yoongi immediately put his hand Jungkook's shoulder again, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he nodded. 

"You didn't even have to ask, Jungkook." He smiled wistfully. "We're all here for her."

As he looked across the room, his eyes suddenly fell on several faint lines across Junghwa's wrist. Cautiously, so as not to wake her up, he lifted her hand to have a closer look, and gasped. Were these-?

"Self-inflicted wounds."

Jungho's voice interrupted his thoughts. He let go of her hand, standing up to look at the older male who was looking at him with a wry smile of his own.

"During her rehab session a few months ago..." Jungho began. "She'd cut herself. I don't know why. Maybe she was trying to get out of there. She doesn't like counselling, she hates it when her thoughts and actions are controlled."
"I never liked counselling either." Yoongi mumbled, making Jungho look at him with surprise.

“Something happened while I was in middle school, and, uhm- I had to a psychiatrist for a few months after that." Yoongi looked away, and Jungho, seeing that he was uncomfortable talking about it, did not pry any further about the matter.

"I'm not going to ask you why you had it... But do I want to ask for a favour." Jungho looked at Yoongi, and to the younger male's surprise, it was a pleading expression that was on his face. "Take care of Junghwa for me."
"Uh-?" Yoongi looked at him in surprise. It was rather surprising that both of her brothers were asking him to do the same thing.

"You heard me. Jungkook can only do so much. She needs someone else to help her through this." He smiled sadly at her sleeping figure, before looking back at Yoongi. "Jungkook's told me the both of you are fairly close."
"I suppose we are..." He shrugged. "In the sense that she's helped me get through some stuff, and I've tried the same for her."
"Okay." Jungho shrugged, before looking at the shorter male again, giving him a grateful smile as he murmured, "Thank you."
"What for?" Yoongi arched his eyebrows. Jungho shook his head, giving him another smile. 

"Just an older brother being grateful for someone being there for Jungkook and Junghwa in my stead, I guess."

Friday, 7th November, 2014

“How are we going to get there?”

Taeji murmured, his lips pursing into a dissatisfied expression as he looked at the bus timetable.

“Ay, we’ll figure something out! We might have to wait for the next bus…” Risae shrugged, but anyone who knew her well enough could pick up the uncertainty in her voice.

"Yeah, who knows how long we'll have to wait." Donghyup grumbled, as he sat down on one of the metal bus stop seats. "Isn't there anything we can do?"
"Ah, we'll figure it out, we always do!" Gayeon nodded, locking arms with Yoongi. "Yoongi Jordan, you're still hungover about your shoes!"
"I think he's more hungover about his that under-fifteen best national player ." Eunji snorted, and Yoongi glanced up from his prized Jordan numbers, glaring at her angrily.

"Hey." He grumbled. "Don't be like that."
"Aw, don't worry, Yoongi, she's only kidding." Gayeon chuckled, before standing on her toes to peck her boyfriend on the cheek, the pair earning looks from the rest of their friends.

"Oh god, get a room." Taeji rolled his eyes. Gayeon stuck her tongue out at him, before giving Yoongi a sneaky wink.

"Hey, midgets!" A voice startled them, and Yoongi looked up, groaning loudly.

"Midgets? What's that about?" Donghyup arched his eyebrows at the smirking Min Yoonjae, Yoongi's elder brother.
"Ignore him, he's just super hyped about finally being taller than me." Yoongi rolled his eyes. "What is it, hyung? Where you off to?"
"Going to Daegu. Saw you waiting here, figured I'd ask what's up?"
"Ma asked you to go?" Yoongi arched his eyebrows, to which Yoonjae nodded."Can you drop us off at Tongyeong?"
"That's four hours away!" Yoonjae protested.
"Hyung, you're going to Daegu. Freaking Gyeongsangnam-do, where we want to go too." Yoongi let out an exasperated groan, before looking back at his brother hopefully. "Now drop us off, will ya? We can't wait for a bus."
"Alright, hop in."

Yoongi stood at a distance, shouting at his sixteen year old self to not go in the van, to stop himself and his friends. He kept running towards the large car, which was becoming increasingly smaller as it drove down the road, towards the rising sun.

Yoongi woke up with a start, letting out a loud scream as he bolted into a seated position, his eyes widened and his breathing heavy and irregular. He stared in front of him for a while, his eyes straining to adjust to the light, while his brain was trying to process all that had just happened in that moment. It was when the memory of what had followed that day hit him did he buckle over, his face burying into one of his hands as he let out a strangled cry, before breaking down into tears.

And he couldn't hold them in, no matter how hard he willed himseld to not cry in that moment. His body racked with sobs, shaking all over as his cries echoed across the whole room, the tears streaming down his cheeks uncontrollably.He shuddered as he took loud gasps of breath, in an attempt to calm himself down, often bursting into small fits of tears again.

It had taken a good half hour for Yoongi to completely bring himself and his emotions together; but why? Why did it take so long to gather his head? Why did he even have such a strong reaction in the first place?

Why was he even seeing that nightmare again?

Probably trauma induced, he sighed into his hand shakily, before pulling at his sweaty shirt with disgust. Wouldn't be surprised if it's because of what happened the other day... but first things first; getting changed.

Yoongi quickly changed into a dark blue sweatshirt, before falling back down on the bed, his heart still beating unusually fast at the dream... nightmare that he hadn't seen in what seemed like forever. He was still shaken up about it, unable to think straight, and now, unable to sleep, either.

"." He swore, picking up his phone from the window sill. He sat up again, scrolling through his messages. His fingers pressed on Junghwa's chat, biting his lip as he contemplated calling her. But no. She would be sleeping right now. 

Yoongi looked down at his phone, pursing his lips as he noticed the small ‘1’s suddenly disappear next to Junghwa’s messages on KakaoTalk; she obviously wasn’t asleep, and thought that he was. He shook his head with disapproval, before quickly typing in a message.

Yoongi: Go to bed!

Almost immediately, came in Junghwa's text, managing to bring a smile to the boy's face.

Junghwa: You go to bed! >:(
Yoongi: I asked you first >:[
Junghwa: ...I can't sleep. Leave me alone. Please.
Yoongi: No. Come over. You don't always have to wait for me to invite you!.

Yoongi really didn’t want to see anyone at the moment, so he didn’t know why he had asked Junghwa to come over. Not even five minutes after the last message, the doorbell rang, and Yoongi jumped to his feet, walking to the front door with a jog in his stride. When he opened the front door, Junghwa walked in almost immediately, holding the red and golden notebook in hand.

As she walked up to his sofa, he shook his head, gently grabbing her wrist in his palm.

“Yoongi?” Junghwa looked up at him in surprise. Yoongi’s eyes met hers, and he could see that she was doing her best to control her emotions; she was biting her lip, something she often did when she was nervous. Her lower lip jutted out slightly, quivering under his hollow gaze.

“Come on.” He pulled her towards the dining table; Junghwa opened to protest, but Yoongi gave her a look that told her he wasn’t having it. Letting out a defeated sigh, she allowed herself to be seated on one of the chairs, and he stood next to her, holding onto the edge of the table as he leaned over. 

“Open your notebook.” He spoke quietly, but Junghwa could sense the tiniest bit of authority in his voice, and she realised that she had no choice but to comply. Hesitantly, she opened the golden notebook, flipping the pages until she found the list that she had made when she first met Yoongi.

“Not here.” He shook his head, turning the page over to a fresh clean sheet, and he looked down at Junghwa, his expression completely unreadable.

“What’s the happiest memory you can think of right now?” He asked quietly.
“What?” She looked up bewilderedly.
“Well? Surely there’s got to be something you can think of?”
“Well… when I won this dance competition when I was seven… Jungkook was pretty mad at me, but we made up in the end and even ended up sharing chocolates.” Junghwa smiled slowly, grinning at the mere memory of it.

“Write it down.” He nodded at the notebook. Junghwa looked at him once more, but decided that it was best to not argue, resigning to writing down that piece of her childhood in your memory.

“Okay, now something that made you really angry.” He sat down on the chair next to her. Junghwa bit her lip in thought, before looking at him.

“Junghee almost ruining my project in year 11?” Junghwa scoffed. “Man, was I lucky to have a backup of that file-”
“Get it down.”

Yoongi interrupted her words, urging her to write into the notebook. Junghwa sighed, quickly writing it down in her notebook.

“Now… a sad memory.” His voice was a bare whisper as he spoke, and Junghwa went rigid with shock, her fingers beginning to tremble as they held the pen weakly.

“When Mom died…” She whispered, hesitantly writing it down.
“Another happy memory, then…”
“Making my favourite cupcakes with Mom and Jungah, but she never told me what the secret ingredient was… but it was a whole bunch of fun-” Junghwa smiled sadly, slowly writing it down, her handwriting slowly becoming disjointed . "Yoongi... why am I doing this?"
"An angry memory." Yoongi ignored the question as he nodded at the notebook once again. 

"When my parents refused to get me this new CD I really wanted to buy, and I was mad at them for the whole week. I was twelve." She whispered, scribbling it down quickly; her handwriting was barely legible now, and her fingers kept losing their hold of the pen.

"Junghwa-"
"Why am I doing this?!" She jumped to her feet, her head bent over as she supported herself by holding onto the table. She glared at him angrily, her eyes burning with tears that were stubborn enough to remain at the brim. 

"...Because you're sad. And you need a good cry." Yoongi mumbled. 
"What a load of bull." Junghwa snapped. "I'm fine, okay? Just leave me alone."

Jumping to her feet, Junghwa began to make her way to the front door, stopping when her name was called out once again.

"Are you really fine?" He asked softly. Junghwa glared at Yoongi, her hand still on the doorknob. But she could only grip it in her hand, unable to make her way outside. He sighed, slowly making his way over to her. Junghwa stood rooted to the spot, unable to move no matter how much she willed herself to.

When he was standing right next to her, Junghwa turned away, shaking her head.

"I'm not going to cry. I'm going to be strong." She gasped; she was already on the verge of breaking, and it was becoming really hard to contain herself, as her whole being began to shake, her eyes clenched shut. "I can't help it, Yoongi. I keep believing it's my fault things have come to this. Nothing anyone says will make me feel any different. I'm not going to cry, though. Crying only helps you feel better, it doesn't help you move forward."

Yoongi looked at her, almost unable to believe the words that came out of .. Here was a girl, who was moving towards happiness not two weeks ago. And now, the same girl was standing in front of him, her resolve crumbled to dust and all hopes of bringing back the happiness in her life she desperately needed, now lost.

And that thought terrified him.

He honestly hadn't a clue as to what came over him in that moment. Yoongi walked up to Junghwa, gently placing his hands on her waist to pull her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her as he held her against his chest.

"Junghwa." He began. "I've never thought that you were weak. But you've been strong for too long."
"Yoongi..." Junghwa's hands flew up to , in an attempt to suppress her sobs.
"Last week, someone managed to save me from the pit I was digging myself into. I may not have managed to climb out of it... but someone's holding me up. Stopping me from falling in deeper." He said quietly. Junghwa shook her head, refusing to listen even though she knew she couldn't stop herself from doing so.

"Take some rest, Hwa. I can support myself for a while." He mumbled into her ear, slowly rocking her body back and forth. "I won't see, if you don't want me to."
"Why are you being so nice, Yoongi?" She whispered, her voice breaking in the process. "Why do you all pity me so?" 
"Who said I pity you?" Yoongi said quietly. "I don't pity you. I'm just trying to help you get through this. Because I want to. Not because I have an obligation."

It was then that Junghwa unleashed the strong surging emotions in her as she choked out a sob, followed by another sob, and then followed by yet another, until she was a crying mess yet again, unable to contain herself any longer. Her cries echoed across the small flat, her body trembling in Yoongi's embrace. Junghwa's hand reached up to her chest, clawing at it furiously to stop the raging misery in her heart that was actually making it ache.

"It's okay, Hwa. I got you." He mumbled, as she turned to face him, hiding her face in his chest as she let out strangled cries, it had become so difficult to breathe and her head was spinning with the emotions she had persevered to conceal for so long.

They both sunk to the floor, Junghwa bitterly crying into his shirt as he rocked her back and forth, allowing the young girl to pour her miseries out. He gently patted her head, lulling her to sleep as he hesitantly began to sing.

"I'm ready to go, ready to go."

Junghwa blinked as a surprised look overcame her face; but the comfort of being held against him filled her up with a warmth she hadn't felt in quite a long time. She stayed put, her cries slowly fading as she lost herself into his (surprisingly decent) voice.

"Can't do it alone, can't do it alone... I'm ready to run through the heat of the sun, can't do it alone, can't do it alone..."

Junghwa allowed herself to relax even further as she snuggled into his chest, gripping onto the soft cloth of his sweatshirt as she allowed him to engulf her in his arms further. Her eyes began to flicker, struggling to stay open, until finally, they closed, and Yoongi knew she was asleep, by the way her grip slackened and her head lolled forward. His voice began to fade, until a peaceful silence hung over them.

Yoongi let out a resigned sigh, as he pulled her to her feet, before lifting her in his arms.

"Looks like you'll have to stay the night, then."

Hey peeps! Back with another update! Hope I didn't disappoint^^ If all goes well, I shall be updating on the 12th of July, which is tomorrow/today, depending on the time zones. But I'll be sure to read any lovely comments you have been leaving me, nonetheless. I was actually out of town so I wasn't able to reply to your comments; don't worry, I'll do that soon! But thank you for reading, and thank you for 138 subs for Ephemeral. You're all awesome :')