A/N hello everyone here is the next chap… regret is something in our life that is so hard to endure coz we would always feel or say if only we did this and that things might have been different that we might be with the one we love, a sense of longing for someone we lost

underlined-flashbacks

bold-song lyrics

He plans not to perform anymore but he changed his mind, he can’t tell it to her face to face but maybe just maybe he can express what he really feels for her and how he regret it now terribly.  He takes a deep breath and slowly let it out, he repeats it three times, to calm his nerves. A pat in the shoulder startles him and when he looks back its Taec.

“Fighting” he said, he nods and smile but didn’t reach his eyes. Taec squeezed his shoulder a little to show support, and as if saying we are always here by your side no matter what.

Kyuhyun went and sat down in front of the piano and starts to play

I see you, beside me

It's only a dream

A Vision of what used to be

The laughter, the sorrow

Pictures in time

Fading to memories

“Ah oppa, quickly” says Hyerim who been waiting for him at the house of their gate “why do you always arrive late” she whined

“I like seeing you stomp your feet when I arrive you look so cute” he says chuckling

“Ahh your so evil, hmmp” says Hyerim and marches away from him, but Kyuhyun put his arms around her shoulder prohibiting her from leaving.

“Ahh Lim is sulking” says Kyuhyun as he playfully pinch her cheeks or just simply annoy her.

They are always like that, he loves teasing her.

Pre-chorus:

How could I ever let you go?

Is it too late to let you know?

Hyerim in a swing making it swing higher and higher, he was walking towards her to reprimand her that she might fall, when the swing was up Hyerim’s hands slip losing her grip, he moved so quickly wanting to reach her before she fall. He had catches her just in time.

“Are you alright” he asked as he was down on the ground and her laying a top him, he broke her fall to the ground.

“D-deh oppa, how about you, are you okay” she asked worriedly, she stumbles standing up, but Kyuhyun held her close to his chest and whispered.

“Never and I mean never scare me like that ever again; I was so afraid not reaching you before you hit the ground”

 Memories of them being together flashes in front of him, how stupid of him only realizing late that he loves Hyerim, now what all he have are memories.

Chorus:

I try to run from your side

But each place I hide

Only reminds me of you

When i turn out all the lights

Even the night

Only reminds me of you

Verse 2:

I needed my freedom

That’s what I thought

But I was a fool to believe

My heart lied while you cried

Rivers of tears

But I was too blind to see

Pre-chorus:

Everything we’ve been through before

Now it means so much more

...

As he continue to sing he is having difficulty singing the song, for every word stabs deep in his heart, he chokes the next stanza, trying to keep his feelings in check make it more difficult to sing. His hands stop moving at the piano’s keys, if he even tried to move or open his lips he know his emotions would pourdown. Humming start after a few seconds, Kyuhyun look and saw his friends, the boys, coming up at the stage, to his rescue,  teary eyed Kyuhyun was touched, as he compose his self to continue, his friends gave him time.

O-only you...

Bridge

So come back to me

I'm down on my knees

Girl can’t you see...

How could I ever let you go?

Is it too late to late to let you know

..Only reminds me of you…

He plans on doing the songs they practiced alone but now he gave nods, that to proceed to what they had practiced. As the boys hummed, he stands up and started to sing the next song when you’re dreaming with a broken heart. As he looks at the audience he saw Hyerim sits down at the far right side of the seats with Jinwoon, and he hurts more. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxEQZXETAjw imagine it with a sadder feeling)

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The waking up is the hardest part

You roll outta bed and down on your knees

And for the moment you can hardly breathe

Wondering was she really here?

Is she standing in my room?

No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The giving up is the hardest part

She takes you in with your crying eyes

Then all at once you have to say goodbye

Wondering could you stay my love?

Will you wake up by my side?

No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

The song expresses how he is now that she is not with him anymore, how it pained realizing what he lost. His eyes on Hyerim and her eyes on him too, as he sang the words, it’s like he saying it to her, the pain and regret.

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

Baby won't you get them if i did?

No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

The waking up is the hardest part

For his final song, what’s hurts the most, his friends hummed for him. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sVWq00_H0A, and imagine it  with a sadder atmosphere)

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let ‘em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though

Goin' on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay

But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most?

Was being so close

And havin' so much to say

And watchin' you walk away

Their gazes held each other. Kyuhyun remembers the day Hyerim and Jinwoon started going out, secretly he went at her place every night making sure she is home safe, the person beside her now is not him that hurts so much.

Lim remembers the fight that time that he refused to say why he wants her to avoid Jinwoon and she wished for him to say I love you, but he shrugs and was stubborn to say nothing. She hoped and waited but nothing.

And never knowin'

What could've been

And not seein' that lovin' you

Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' it

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And havin' so much to say

(Much to say)

And watchin' you walk away

As Kyuhyun sang the verse again, Lim walkout of the auditorium, seeing her retreating back felt like her walking out of his life, tears started to fall in his eyes, how he regrets not saying anything, how he wanted so much to turn back time, but it’s too late.

And never knowin'

What could've been

And not seein' that lovin' you

Is what I was tryin' to do, oh

Oh yeah

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And havin' so much to say

(To say)

And watchin' you walk away

Victoria and Sunye on the side have tears in their eyes as they feel for their friend, but they felt helpless, so helpless to stop their friend’s grief.

And never knowin'

What could've been

And not seein' that lovin' you

Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that lovin' you

That's what I was trying to do, ooo

Kyuhyun bowed his head as the song ends as the audience applaud at their performance, he needs to get away before he lose it, quickly Kyuhyun went down the stage, he doesn’t know where to go all that he wants is to be alone, he went inside the men’s room and as he dashes inside luckily its deserted. Slowly he walks inside he could feel his knees buckling, as he reaches one of the cubicle he lays down his head and the tears that he is holding up started to fall generously, Hyerim walking out of the auditorium kept replaying in his mind and it hurts so much.

His hand fisted and started hitting the cubicle door, stronger every time, he screamed. The door of the room opened, but he didn’t look. Slowly he slides down to the floor and bawled.

==

As Kyuhyun went down the stage Taecyeon immediately went after him and the others followed too.  In front of him are Victoria and Sunye who is running after Kyuhyun too. As Kyu went inside the men’s room, he quickens his step and held the two girls not to follow their friend inside.

Nichkhun was there to help him hold the girls. He held Victoria in his arms as he hugs Sunye. The boys are just right behind them worry in their faces for their friend that is hurting.

“Shh, let him be, he had to let it out” says Nichkhun, calming the girl in his arms.

“Oppa” says Sun as she can hear his friend’s cry inside. Taecyeon held her tight and kissed her on the head.

“Shh, we’ll get through this” says Taec.

Unknown to them a girl is watching them. Disappointment was written in her face as she looked at the muscular man hugging the girl calming her.

“So he have a girlfriend, the staffs are wrong teasing me that I made him go to the library more often now than it’s used to” sadness in her eyes. Her friend told her that the guy she is fond of is actually at the auditorium, she was so excited that she runs only to be hurt, she turns around quickly not wanting to disturb “I was beginning to like you Ok  Taecyeon” she said sadly and left the place.

A loud bang inside was heard, Taecyeon was the first one to went inside quickly leaving Sun at Donghae’s arms.

Inside they saw Kyuhyun repeatedly hitting the cubicle door and his hands are bleeding, his sliding down slowlt as he hits the door. Taec, went to him and holds him making him stop from hurting his self physically. Kyuhyun cried harder, Taec held him; all of them are in tears at the site of their friend’s weakest painful moment. He cried harder, almost making him cough.

“I love her so much, I love her so much” says Kyuhyun over and over again “I’m so stupid for even letting her go” he cried harder “babo, babo, babo, babo, babo” he said repeatedly.

Victoria and Sun seek the warmth of the men hugging them. They didn’t know he was this hurt, ahh if only, if only. The pain he is feeling is too much, but they don’t know how to stop the hurting; he tried to stay with them when it hurts so much. Taec rocks Kyuhyun, calming him while Chansung hold his hand stopping him from hitting the floor once he slid down.

“We’re sorry, Kyuhyun, we are sorry being with us is painful too” says Sunye as she walks towards him

Kyuhyun shook his head disagreeing “t-there is p-pain but also being with you all made the pain l-lessen I c-can’t stay away like I c-can’t stay a-away f-from L-lim, without you is like a night sky without stars and moon”

Tears fall generously in their eyes being helpless with the situation they are all in; they hope that they can endure all of these trials.

==

Hyerim was crying outside the auditorium door, she went out before she breaks down and cries. All the song he sang pierces her on the heart. From where she is she can hear him sing those words, the regret, the pain, ottoke, she thought. She continues to walk along the corridor she turns left to a dimmed hallway and lean on the wall.

“Ottoke oppa” she said, tears trailing down her cheeks “I love you but I can’t hurt him” she cried “I can’t, oh oppa” slowly she slides down feeling so weak with what’s happening. Jinwoon has been so good to her, she promised to give his feeling a chance she can’t hurt him, she just can’t.

Lim cried so hard, letting all out she can no longer contain it. What has she done she should have not involve Jinwoon, no matter how much he said he loves her and wanted to try to win her heart. She knows deep inside it’s always had been him, Kyuhyun.

“Lim” called Jinwoon. They were in the beach walking, letting the waves touch their bare feet.

“Oppa, maybe we should end this, it’s unfair for you” she said. Jinwoon went in front of her and held her on her shoulders.

“I’m the one who choose to be in this relationship Lim, you didn’t force me, and I am not giving up yet that your heart will beat for me soon” says Jinwoon “we only had to do it slow and you accepting me means you want to give our relationship a chance”

“Oppa” she said as tears slowly falls in her eyes. Jinwoon shushed her and embraced her. Lim cried in his shoulder.

She can’t just run to Kyuhyun after telling how he loves her, she’s with Jinwoon now, and she can’t hurt him. She must take responsibility with her decisions’ consequences even if it hurts.

“I l-love y-you too oppa, but why o-only n-now” she said  crying again as she lean her head back looking at the ceiling “how it hurts to be near you too and not hold you”

Unknown to her Jinwoon was just at the other side, he followed her and he heard her cries, Jinwoon leans backward to the wall, feeling hurt and defeated. How can a man like him still loved after being hesitant, how lucky can he be? He felt his eyes hot; he pressed his fingers at the bridge of his nose to stop the tears from falling.

Should he fight? Should he?

Hyerim’s muffled cry pains him, what would be the best for all of us? He asked his self silently and looked-up, God help and closed his eyes, and tears starts to fall.

==

As he gazed at the sky he saw stars and the moon, the sky looks so dull and dark without them, and that’s his life without his friends and Lim, they are his stars and moon that brightens his dark times, so he can never , never stay away from them no matter how it hurts. If it weren’t for them he would be stacked in his own world.

When he was singing at the stage, when he sang those songs, flashes of memories of him and Lim in front of him, his throat constricts and its seem so hard to sing or utter a word and even breathe. When his friends went at the stage and hummed, he tears up more for they never left him, he may have been wrong but they never left his side. He was so into his thoughts that when someone plops down beside him he was startled, he looked around Taecyeon was the one who first to sit down followed by Heechul, Chansung, Junsu, Siwon, Sungmin, Wooyoung, Nichkhun and Donghae. They didn’t say any words just like him they lay down at the sand and gaze at the sky. No words are needed just their mere presence with him is enough to console him and feel the warmth.

How lucky can he be to be blessed with friends like them, he is fine that Victoria and Sunye are not there for he would worry more thinking Lim is alone.

==

As the sun peaks inside the room to Sunye, her eyes flutter. She slowly opens her eyes and gazed at the French door at the terrace of their room. It opens and Victoria went inside.

“Unnie” she whispers as she didn’t want to wake up Lim who is still sleeping.

“Morning, Sun” greeted Victoria

“The boys” says Sun

“They slept at the beach, I went there and covered them with blankets” says Victoria

“You could have asked me to accompany you” says Sun as she fell asleep without her knowing. She wanted to talk to Donghae to but Kyuhyun’s more important as of now.

“It’s okay Sun no biggie” she said smiling “Sunye what’s wrong” says Victoria eyeing her.

“Nothing unnie” she said and tried to evade Victoria’s gaze.

“You know better than saying that” Victoria warned. Sun rolled her eyes up, really Victoria is really sharp.

“It’s just that, just that Donghae seems to be distancing his self to me” says Sun her hands on the air and flump at her side, looking hopeless “and here it became more obvious to me, why is he acting like that all of a sudden” she said as she slumped on the couch.

“Well that’s new, did you guys fight or did you say anything making him awkward or something” asked Victoria. Sunye shakes her head.

“Sun, why are you worrying to much about him” says Victoria slowly “we thought he is just a friend and nothing more” she paused “or you already had fallen for him” she added.

“I-I think so” says Sunye.

“Then maybe you need to tell him that, he had always been vocal with his feelings for you” says Victoria.

“I-I don’t k-know” says Sunye hesitating.

“Stop hesitating will you” Hyerim blurted out.

Sun and Vic looked at her surprised that she is already awake.

“I just can’t tell him that Lim” reasoned Sun

Exasperated Hyerim looked at her “Huh, stop stalling unnie, coz I’m telling you it is better you have said it than hide it” she looks at her daring her “or do you want to experience what I am experiencing now” she said and tears starts to brim in her eyes “I’m telling you it is better that you said it than regret it never saying it”

Victoria and Sun quickly went to Hyerim and hugged her.

“Could have and  what ifs, regrets” says Hyerim, she started to cry again and she thought she cried all the tears last night “it hurts so much, so much. I wanted to scream at his face but I am to be blamed too, for if I only said it, maybe just maybe things would have been different. It would been easier if I haven’t involved Jinwoon into this mess, too”

 Hyerim loosen her arms to them and looked at them “what should I do unnie, what should I do, Kyuhyun oppa is hurting, I am hurting and I can’t hurt Jinwoon too, he doesn’t deserve this” she said her eyes begging for answers. Victoria and Sun look at each other both in tears, helpless and hopeless.

“We don’t know Lim, we also don’t know” says Victoria and Sun frustrated.

“Please my unnies don’t hesitate to let your feelings know, please” says Hyerim crying.

Hi so how was Kyuhyun’s performance, sad? heartbreaking?

For me both sad and heartbreaking that every time you are reminded, you would sometime say if I said it, if I didn’t hesitate the fear of unknown stops us from doing something we don’t know what will be the outcome, but sometimes braving the unknown out of comfort zone makes you stronger, for we are not given any trials we can’t conquer, coz sometimes we fear of nothing.

What would happen to Jinwoon -Hyerim -Kyuhyun love triangle?

What will Sunye do?

How will Donghae react?

Who is the girl who is taken by Ok Taecyeon?

And what will Yoona do? Does she accept what Nichkhun had said?

Many questions, soon to be answered at the next chapters :P

Happy reading love to read your comments