His cheek stung as his jaw turned red from the punch. But he stared at his father resolutely. He wasn’t going to be bossed around by his father. He had his own free will. It was his choice.

“You have some nerve standing like that Kim Hyunjoong.” His father gritted out. It didn’t matter to Kim Yoongi that they were in a hospital’s emergency stairwell. Nothing mattered but beating some sense into his stupid son. But Hyunjoong was exuding a defiant aura which annoying Yoongi more. “To say you’re not happy with your marriage and accuse your parents for forcing you into it on the day your wife gives birth…I don’t know if you’re crazy or bold.”

“Enough with your taunts.” Hyunjoong gritted out, “that’s all you do and I’m done with it.” Hyunjoong turned to leave but his father stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Let go.”

“Where are you going?”

“Where do you think?”

Yoongi crossed his arms and looked at his son as if they weren’t related. Like he had cut off his ties with him at that very moment and they were strangers. “alright, you can leave.” Hyunjoong doesn’t give his father the satisfaction of giving him his full attention by turning to face him. instead, he just tilts his head slightly, “you have a choice.”

“Like I had a choice to marry Jaejin?” It wasn’t a question neither was the sarcasm lost on Yoongi.

“yes. This is your choice.” Yoongi’s tone was firm but Hyunjoong knows his father’s definition of ‘choice’ is leaving him at a dead-end, using his emotions for his dying mother to listen to him.

It didn’t matter to him that his parents didn’t like Hyuna. They don’t know her like he does and judged her with just two meetings. And he’s going to spend the rest of his life with her anyway.

At least that’s what he thought. When his mother was diagnosed with a terminal liver condition, his father used that to force him into marrying Kim Jaejin- the freshly graduated medical intern he dated in high school and on-and-off in university. They couldn’t spend much time together given her demanding medical studies while he kept changing majors much to his father’s displeasure. They would go out when they were free, mostly by Jaejin’s initiative and his parents’ insistence.

He kept seeing Hyuna even after he was married. But since Jaejin became pregnant, she’s afraid to lose him. so he wanted to ends things before but couldn’t out of cowardice. As angry as Hyunjoong was at the world and at his parents, he didn’t want to see his mother die, especially when she fought to see her grandchild.  

But as the days go by, he can’t take it anymore. He doesn’t want lead Jaejin on into some false domesticity. All he wants is to spend the rest of his life with Hyuna.

So when  his father kept nagging him to be with Jaejin while she was in labour, he snapped and said he didn’t want to be here at all.

Which brings them here… a father offering his son a choice.

“You can go with that girl.” Hyunjoong’s eyes widen. Did his father really mean that? “Yes, you can. But” yoongi’s tone was hard now, “you leave now while your child is still not aware of a father figure. You leave now before he’s old enough so he doesn’t have his heart broken knowing you abandoned him. Go away to that girl and never look at Jaejin or her child again. I’ll take care of them. I’ll make sure that this time, I raised a child right.” (A/N: They don’t know the child’s gender and so he refers to it as a ‘he’.)

At that point, Hyunjoong decided he has no affection for the man he called father. If he has been a disappointment of a son since he was born, then Kim Yoongi has been a heartless father.

“When I said  I choose this time, it’s not on your terms.” With that, Hyunjoong left the emergency stairwell.

He was walking to god knows where, not really sure of his own decisions. Lost in thought, he didn’t hear someone calling his name till that person grabbed his arm. He was startled and looked at the short woman, a nurse going by her outfit.

“Mr Kim, I’ve been looking all over for you.” The nurse says between pants. She catches her breath and then smiled, “your wife just delivered the most beautiful girl I have seen in my entire life.”

~~~

Hyunjoong wasn’t sure if he should be here. Just moments earlier, he was close to leaving his wife and newborn daughter. His father’s words keep ringing in his head and he thinks it’s better to leave when he hasn’t been a father to this little girl yet.

“Here she is.” The nurse walked around the rows of cradles filled with newborn babies. His was wrapped in a soft white bundle.

At first, Hyunjoong is staring at the sleeping little human. He can’t believe the porcelain skin that is shining while wrapped in the clean white blanket. Jaejin has the skin of a goddess, but even to take after her, their daughter’s skin is way paler, and perhaps better than Jaejin’s.

“Do you want to hold her?” Hyunjoong doesn’t realize he’s nodding till the nurse brings the baby closer. And at that moment, he realizes he doesn’t know how to carry a baby. The understanding nurse chuckles understandingly. She guides and before long, he’s standing ramrod stiff with his baby, scared the slightest movement will hurt this fragile being. The nurse laughs again, “Mr Kim, relax. Why don’t you sit on that chair there.”

Hyunjoong very slowly and carefully made his way to the chairs against a wall. He sat there and then flinched when he heard mewling.

Looking down, he found large eyes looking at him and wonders if his movement woke her up. He looks at the nurse in panic, fully expecting a bawling baby in a room full of babies. But the nurse looked on fondly, “Aigoo, someone’s awake. I’ll leave you two for a while.” She walked to the door but not before chancing a glance at the baby, “You’re going to have a hard time keeping all the boys away from her.”

Hyunjoong doesn’t even hear those words. His eyes are locked with large doe eyes. It’s as if this baby is looking right back at him. Jaejin once said that newborns can’t see for the first few weeks. Hyunjoong is wondering if babies see beyond what eyes can see.

Gingerly, he moves his hand and traces those eyes. He has a flashback, when he saw those eyes once. A girl asking him where the library was and he gaping like an idiot. He remembers that time, the first thing he saw were the eyes, then the red lips. And his finger tapped on the little mouth.

His baby must have not liked that. She whined and whimpered while squirming. Her hands were trying to break free. Though he knows babies are supposed to be swaddled, he didn’t like the sight of his daughter being bound like this. a surge of overprotectiveness came over him and he undid the swaddle just enough for the blanket to hang loose and two chubby hands to swing at his face.

He didn’t realize how low he was bending until a hand swiped at his nose. that soft feeling made him laugh. His daughter felt that laugh and then opened in a soundless laugh.

“You’re so beautiful…more than your mother.” He whispered while cupping her head. Her hand rested on his wrist, grabbing a tiny fistful of his sleeve while she giggled. The sound of her laughing was the most melodious sound Hyunjoong had ever heard. “Aw man… guys are seriously going to fall over for you.” And his face sours at his own words, feeling that foreign overprotectiveness again. “listen to me kiddo. Boys can be bad. Some are nice, and one day you’ll find a good guy. But there are going to bad people too, they’re going to hurt you.” He choked on his words, imagining an uncertain future where he doesn’t know if he’s going to be one of those ‘bad people’. He brings her close, his heartbeat soothing her as she closes her eyes, “daddy won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.”

~~~

Jaejin sat up when she heard the door open. She was expecting a nurse to bring in her baby girl. There was a nurse alright, but wheeling in her husband while holding a squirming baby.

“What happened to you?!” Jaejin shrieked startling their daughter and husband.

“Don’t worry Mrs Kim. Your husband is fine.” The nurse said as she pushed Hyunjoong in the wheelchair till he reached her bed, “he’s just scared of dropping your daughter if he carries her and walks at the same time.”

Jaejin looked at her husband and he looked away, his lips tinted with a dusty pink confirmed that the nurse is saying the truth. A stifled snort from Jaejoong and Hyunjoong’s blush deepens. The nurse excuses the little family and closes the door as she leaves.

“Can I see her?” Jaejin requests, spreading out her arms and Hyunjoong nods. He stands up and Jaejin can see he really is scared of hurting the baby with the way he doesn’t part with her till he’s assured she’s fine with her mother.

In the arms of her mother, the baby gets more active and starts wriggling. The room is filled with squeaks and nasal whines from this little human and Jaejin sneaks a glance at her husband, smiling seeing him fixated on his daughter and smiling behind his hands. While she was waiting for her daughter, she didn’t expect Hyunjoong. She has been counting the days to when he’ll leave her and with the pressure of being a father, she was sure he was going to walk out on them.

Hyunjoong has a feeling, but doesn’t really know that everyone knows he’s not faithful to his wife. Even Jaejin knows her, has known since the very moment he fell for Hyuna. There are times Jaejin wonders why she didn’t end things between them cleanly though she knew. She would scold herself for letting him string her along, that he was the one who pursued her in high school, told other guys to stay away from her, he claimed they’d always be together, and he broke her heart. Why did she stay with him?

The biggest reason is because she loves him too much and a part of her knows he still loves her too. That’s why, though he’s antagonistic to his parents for not respecting his wishes, he’s never taken it out on Jaejin. Though he’s not the same Hyunjoong anymore, he has never treated her badly.

But at the same time, he’s torn and it’s eating him. So she fully expected him to leave before there’s no turning back. She earns well as a doctor and has enough savings for herself and her child. She’s prepared for it, outwardly at least. Her heart though, is a different matter.

Still, he’s here, with their child and her. for that, she’s grateful and it slips out from her lips, “thank you.” Hyunjoong looked at her when he hears her voice and she continues, “thank you for being here.”

He has a self-deprecating smile before he shrugs, “have to. Look at her.” his eyes are back on his daughter, “have to keep the boys away.”

Jaejin couldn’t help but laugh at that. “You’re not going to hit the guy with a dictionary like you did with Yoo Sehyung right?”

Hyunjoong looked downright appalled and offended, “he didn’t take no for an answer and kept flirting with you. Had to get him away didn’t I?” they both clearly remember that senior in high school who got too close for comfort. When she rejected him, he kept coming closer saying “ouch! Your words hurt.” And Hyunjoong showed just how much words could hurt by hitting him with a dictionary.

“By the way, now that we know it’s a girl, do you have a name?” At jaejin’s question, Hyunjoong thought seriously. She was slightly miffed that he didn’t even ask her suggestion out of courtesy. Talk about a possessive dad.

“How about Kim Jaejoong?” Jaejin blinked and thought about for a moment before she snorted. “What?”

“Did you just *pfft* I can’t believe you!” Jaejin was all out guffawing, “that’s so lame. Jaejin + Hyunjoong equals Jaejoong. what would you do if it was a boy?”

“Patrick.” Hyunjoong randomly blurted an English name because he’s a little embarrassed at his own naming technique. He looked down, embarrassed he couldn’t come up with the best name for his pretty little girl. When Jaejin saw that, she felt sorry for him. it’s not a bad thing to have a part of both their names.

“Hello Kim Jaejoong~” Hyunjoong looked up at Jaejin’s crooning and saw her cooing to their daughter, “do you like your name?” at that point, Hyunjoong nearly cried with joy at his daughter’s laughter. With more confidence than he’s had since seeing her for the first time, he reaches out and takes her waving hand as if in a handshake, “Nice to you meet you Kim Jaejoong. I’m your father.”

~~~

Hyunjoong would have moved, but he couldn’t bring himself to. His mother, Kim Minha