After a short while the door opened and a petite woman with long black hair and almost black eyes stared back at me.

“You must be Annie?” she asked whilst eyeing me up and down. I nodded and tried to give her a small smile. She did not respond to it.

“I’m Ahra. Come in” she said and made room for me and Siwon to enter the apartment. Ahra lead us into the living room, motioned us to sit down and offered us drinks. I didn’t want anything, so I just sat there awkwardly in silence. I listened to Ahra and Siwon having small talk, until a little girl entered the room. The girl had short black hair, but the biggest blue eyes I had ever seen. Upon seeing her daughter, Ahra finally broke in to a smile.

“Hey, honey” she said as the girl walked up to her. Swiping the girl’s hair out of her face, she asked her to introduce herself.

“Hi, I’m Eunji. I’m six years and 11 months old” the girl said with a big smile, showing off her few missing teeth. She was too cute.

“Hi Eunji. I’m Siwon and this is Annie” Siwon said, in a friendly tone and motioned to me. I smiled a little bit. Eunji turned and her eyes widened a bit.

“Woah, unnie, you are really pretty! Are you a princess or something?” The three of us laughed.

“Not yet, my princess training is not yet completed” I told her, and her smile widened.

“Wow, that’s so cool!” Ahra looked at her daughter.

“Hey, uh, mommy and Annie need to talk about something for a while, okay? Could you play in your room for a bit?” Eunji nodded and turned to Siwon.

“Oppa, do you want to me to teach you how to draw animals? I’m really good at it.” Siwon gave her a warm smile and stood up.

“I’m glad you asked, because I can’t draw to save my life.” They disappeared into Eunji’s room.

“She has her father’s eyes” I said as the door closed. Ahra looked at me, shocked.

“You-you remember my husband?” she managed to mumble. I nodded.

“I do. He was so kind to me.” Slowly, I noticed tears welling up in Ahra’s eyes. Just as the first tear rolled down her cheek, she wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her jumper.

“Why did you want to meet us?” she asked, her tone now slightly annoyed. I looked out of the window and thought for a moment.

“Because there’s something that I needed to tell you.” I began, taking another short break.

“I know that no matter what I say or how much I explain nothing will ever bring Henry back. I’m also not here to make myself feel better because that is not going to happen either. I just wanted you to know that if there was anything I could’ve done, I would have done it. If there was anything that I could have done to keep your husband – and the father of your beautiful daughter – alive, I absolutely would have done it. But there wasn’t. I was ten or eleven. I didn’t know how to protect myself, much less someone else. Yet every day I feel horrible that I didn’t do more. Every single day of my life I feel responsible for everything that happened. And Henry – he was so kind. Others would yell profanities at me or call me names that no child should ever be called but him – he didn’t. And if Eunji becomes even a little bit like her father, you can consider yourself as the luckiest mother in the world. I know you can’t forgive me, but I still needed to tell you that I am so sorry for everything” I noticed that my eyes were watering, but as I looked at Ahra, she was bawling her eyes out. I reached my hand out to her and she grabbed it as if her life depended on it.

“I had no idea you were that young” she said as she got over her fit of crying. She placed her other hand on mine as well.

“I never knew” she whispered and looked at me with a mix of pity and sadness. I gave her a smile through my tears.

“That’s okay.”

“All this time I was so mad at you and your whole family and when they told me that you wanted to meet us I got so angry but I agreed because I thought that I could make you feel as miserable as they made me feel but I had no idea you were just a child back then” As Ahra finished, she stood up and pulled me with her – then embraced me in the warmest hug. It was the kind of hug that you only get rarely; the kind that makes you feel like all your broken pieces are pushed back together. I was now bawling as well, and for a good five minutes we just stood there, hugging each other, crying like babies. When we finally let go, Ahra took my face between her hands and told me gently:

“There’s nothing to forgive. You are not a bad person. Your parents were, but you are not. Please don’t feel responsible about this anymore, okay?” I nodded quietly as Ahra wiped my tears away with her thumbs. She gave me a motherly smile.

“Look at you, you’re still a child now. How old are you exactly?”

“I’ll be eighteen in a few weeks” I squeaked, trying to avoid getting the post-crying hiccups. We sat down again and tried to calm ourselves.

By the time Siwon and Eunji emerged to the living room, Ahra was sharing stories of how she dated terrible guys when she was a teenager. We were laughing like we had been friends forever. Eunji carried a pile of papers to us and showed us everything she had taught Siwon. The last drawing was of a princess, with a polar bear next to her. That drawing she handed to me.

“This is for you, unnie. It’s you. The polar bear is there because you remind me of queen Elsa and she would probably have polar bears as pets” she explained. I took the drawing from her and ruffled her silky hair.

“Thank you, I really like it. Polar bears are actually my favourite animals” I told her, and I saw her eyes light up.

“Mine too!”

Soon Siwon and I had to go, so we said our goodbyes to Ahra and Eunji. Ahra told me that I could visit them anytime I wanted, and I promised that I would. As Siwon closed the apartment door behind us, I walked to the end of the hallway and leaned against the wall.

“Are you okay?” he asked me, seeming to be genuinely concerned. I lifted my hand up to show him how much I was shaking. Siwon placed a hand on my shoulder and lifted my chin up so I was looking at him. It was now that his good looks were affecting me.

“Hey, for what it’s worth, I think you did really good” he said reassuringly. We had only met a couple of hours ago, so I didn’t really understand.

“Really?” He nodded.

“I mean, I only know this case from files and what I read in the papers, but it’s still one of the most chilling things I’ve ever come across. Not everybody would have the courage to do what you just did. And you should be very proud of that.” We stood there in silence for a moment, his hand slowly my shoulder. I gathered myself and stood up.

“Thank you” I said, and Siwon gave me smile.

In the weeks to come I met a few more families of the people that my parents killed. I was surprised at how well they reacted to me. I didn’t do it to make myself feel better, but the more families I met, everything somehow became a lot easier for me. When my 18^th birthday rolled around, I had met over 40 families.

On the morning of my birthday, I awoke to the sound of Tao and Baekhyun bickering outside my bedroom door.

“I get to go in first, I’m the more handsome one!”

“How does that have anything to do with anything? I get to go in first, she loves me more!” I heard Kris emerging.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake, you go and wake her up right now or I’ll make you both cry!” I smiled by myself. As I heard the door handle moving, I pretended to be asleep.

“Good morning, birthday girl. Congratulations!” I heard Baekhyun say softly as he crawled into my bed. I slowly got up and rubbed my eyes.

“Thank you” I said and gave Baekhyun a hug. He and Tao then dragged me downstairs, where a whole table of breakfast was awaiting along with the rest of the family. Kris pulled me into a tight hug.

“My baby is eighteen” he pretended to sob. I got hugs and kisses from everyone, then the most heartfelt yet out-of-tune birthday song, thanks to Sehun and Chanyeol, who tried to channel their inner opera singers. I even got many presents. Everybody else had opted to buy me something a bit more mature and sophisticated, but Yixing and Baekhyun had gotten me a huge Baymax stuffed toy. I did really love it though. Later that night, the Kims’ and the Kims’ came over for dinner. For the longest time all of us ‘kids’ sat down together and had the best time. I felt really right to be around these 12 awesome guys.

A few days later I was sitting in the library with Joonmyeon, learning about mathematics. It was just the two of us in the whole house and it was dead quiet. That was, until the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get that” I exclaimed as I got up from my seat. Joonmyeon furrowed his brows.

“Fine, but you’ll still have to finish this equation for me, okay?”

“Sure!” I yelled, as I was already halfway down the corridor. When I reached the foyer, I quickly fixed my skirt and my hair and then opened the door. When I saw who it was, my jaw dropped.

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I am so determined to finish this story. I will do it now, not in a few years time. 

So I have maybe two more chapters coming up. Then I'll finally bring this baby to the finish line (feel the need to make an awkward pun about Finnish line, you know, cause I'm Finnish, but I'm not about that life)

AAANNNYWAYS here's a new chapter, I hope you like it, please tell me your feeling about it. 

LUUUUUUUVVV YAAAAAH (:

GIF coming soon, when I find the one I'm looking for