I was gathered in the living room with all of the boys, including Kyungsoo and Minseok. We were sitting in a circle on the floor. Tao was hugging me like I was a teddy bear while Yixing piled pillows into my lap and rested his head on them. The atmosphere was awkward, since nobody really knew why we were there. Jongdae cleared his throat and clapped his hands together.

“Well, uh, ahjumma thought that we should talk. Like about everything. So here we are. About to talk. If anyone wants to start, feel free to do so.” He tried to be the leader. I guess he kind of succeeded, since Kris spoke up:

“Well I would like to know what Jongin did here earlier.” All eyes were on me. Even Yixing was looking up at me. I shook my head.

“He was just here to tell me what an idiot he is.”

“What do you mean?” Sehun crossed his arms over chest, clearly annoyed that I had just called Jongin an idiot.

“He’s known since Friday what those kids would do to me. He said he tried to stop, but shouldn’t he have just told me? Or you?”

“I’ll kill him.” Everybody turned to look at Sehun, who was furious.

“I’ll join you” Kris smirked.

“Don’t ever joke about killing someone, guys.” There was silence again after my statement.

“I guess that’s what we should talk about. Annie, we know each other’s stories, but not yours. And you know nothing about our backgrounds, so we should share. Why don’t you start?” Jongdae smiled at me encouragingly. I stayed silent as I fumbled with Yixing’s hair. Jongdae’s smile disappeared.

“Okay, hyung, why don’t you start then?” he nudged Luhan’s rib. Luhan nodded.

“Okay then. I grew up in China until I was seven years old, but then my parents died when a ten-storey building collapsed and um… I was sent to live here with some relatives.” I noticed that Luhan was getting teary. Chanyeol patted his back roughly.

“They weren’t nice people. My aunt she um…. Took advantage of me many times and my uncle did nothing to stop it. They used to tell me much of burden I was and they also liked to lock me into the garden shed at times. When I was eleven the police found out and I was adopted by ahjumma and ahjussi.” He was crying after finishing his story. Luhan looked up at me and smiled weakly.

“And I’ve been great ever since” he said as he wiped his tears away. Chanyeol shifted in his seat.

“This is like an AA-meeting. Hey, I’m Park Chanyeol, and this is my story” he grinned.

“I was bullied a lot at school. Mainly because of my ears and looks in general. It was mostly physical. I mean, if you’re going to bully someone, then why not go all out, right?” He laughed nervously. Nobody laughed with him.

“Ah, anyways, my parents knew about it, but they said that it was my fault. My teachers thought that too. When I was thirteen, the child welfare took me away from my parents and put me here. And that was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“I was born and raised in China, much like Luhan. My full name is Huang Zitao. Ever since I was really young, my parents wanted me to become a great martial artist, so they sent me off to live with a martial arts teacher. He was really violent and mean. He made me do all the house chores, and if I did anything wrong at home or at the practice, he’d beat me with a leather belt. One day, when I was nine, ahjumma and ahjussi came to see me practicing. They saw all the bruises and cuts and after my practice, they came to talk to me, away from my teacher. I remember it so well. I knew that they were Korean, so I was really surprised when they spoke to me in Chinese. ‘Who hurt you, love?’ ahjumma asked me. She was like an angel. I nodded towards my teacher. ‘How would you feel about living in Korea with us, love?’ The next thing I knew I arrived into this whole new country and I loved every second of it.” Even though Tao was crying, his face radiated with peace and serenity. I wanted to ask him about his parents’ whereabouts, but I didn’t want to upset him more. Yixing got up from my lap.

“I’m Zhang Yixing. I was raised in China too. My dad always thought that I was a little stupid. Or really stupid, actually. My mom always tried to stand up for me, but she died when I was ten.” Yixing’s voice started to crack. He took a long breath before continuing.

“So I was left with my dad. He thought that beating me would make me magically smarter. I think we can all say that it didn’t. Like Chanyeol, I was thirteen when I came here.” Quiet sniffles were heard. Seeing how nervous and sad everybody got, I felt like we shouldn’t be doing this anymore.

“Guys, you really don’t have to do this” I whispered. Baekhyun wiped a single tear from his face before starting his story.

“My parents always liked my brother better. He was the only one they cared about besides themselves. It was always my responsibility to feed myself, to get myself to school and to earn my own pocket money. It’s not as bad as what everyone else has been through, but I always needed my parents to love me and care for me, but they never did. It hurt.” Baekhyun’s voice broke and he burst into tears. Jongdae quickly handed him a tissue from the coffee table and rubbed his back.

“Oh yeah and I was fourteen when I came here and all that stuff” Baekhyun quickly added and let out a small laugh.

“My life’s been nothing like that. I was the troublemaker at school. My grades always . I didn’t get into any university, but when ahjumma saw that I could cook, she offered me a job here. I can honestly say that I have no complaints” Kyungsoo grinned. I had a hard time believing that he was once a troublemaker, since to me he was the most calm and reasonable person in the house.

“I always wanted to be a pilot. But like Kyungsoo, I was a bad student and didn’t go really far after high school. Luckily, the job of a chauffeur doesn’t actually require any universities or anything. I’m glad ahjumma asked me to this job. I like it. I don’t like you guys messing up my car, though” Minseok glared at the boys playfully.

“I’ll be next. After my parents divorced, my mom got married again. The guy turned out to be really violent, mostly targeting me. My mom didn’t believe when I tried to tell her about it. She always chose him over me. I was eleven when I moved here.” Sehun wasn’t crying, but he was close to it, I could tell. Jongdae decided to go next.

“I was actually never beaten or anything. I was taken away from my parents when I was eight because they used to forget me to places. They never meant to, they were the most loving parents ever. They just sometimes forgot. I wonder where they are now.” Jongdae sighed. Everybody was looking at Kris, waiting for him to begin. Kris shrugged.

“I was the oldest of five kids. My dad left my mom before my youngest sister was even born. My mother was alcoholic, she always was. I was the one to look after my younger siblings, put them to school and stuff. Once when my siblings were walking home from school… They got hit by a drunk driver. None of them survived.” Kris stopped for a while to wipe a tear off his cheek.

“My mom blamed it on me since I wasn’t there with them. She used to hit me for it. For the longest time I believed that it was my fault.” Kris let out a dry laugh.

“Then one day about five years ago my mom shot herself while I was at school. I came home to find the house full of policemen. Then about a week later I came here.” Never had I ever thought I would see Kris crying, but I did. And they weren’t just random tears here and there anymore, but it was full-blown crying. Jongdae and Luhan both hugged him while still crying themselves. When Kris was able to speak again, he looked up at me and asked:

“So what’s your story, then?”

I don’t want to do this anymore.

I knew that sooner or later I would have to tell them. Whether they’d hate me or not.

“Please don’t hate me after I tell you.” I didn’t even dare to look anyone in the eyes.

“I am Miranda Jang, the daughter of the Jang couple who murdered over 200 people.” I remembered the articles from the day before.

“My uh… My family was completely normal until I was eleven. But all through my childhood I was never allowed to go to the barn that was in our backyard. They always told me that there were some tools that were dangerous.”

“Anyways, one time when I was eleven I wanted to swimming but I needed their permission. I couldn’t find them anywhere so I went to the barn. I shouldn’t have. When the barn was lit up I saw a woman lying on a table in the middle of the barn. She wasn’t moving. There was blood everywhere. I remember asking her if she was alright but when I took a closer look and I realized that…” I hugged my knees to my chest.

“She… she was beheaded” I whispered, a waterfall of tears now coming from my eyes.

“After that my parents went crazy and they… they’d make me participate in those killings. They said that if I didn’t do it or if I’d ever tell anyone they’d kill me. Now thinking about it, it would have been better if they’d actually have killed me.”

“I didn’t know what to do so I just went along with it.” I was shaking so much.  I could barely speak anymore when I hid my head into my knees and began to rock myself back and forth.

“Sometimes they would just teach me how to detach a limb or something. I’ll never forget how those people were begging for me to help them before they were kil-“