11 Months Later (Your POV) [Paris, France]

I can't believe what's happened in the past few months. So much trouble gone through, so many tears wept, so much time spent. Through it all, I've definitely grown both as a man and as a father. I can't believe that my baby girl is almost turning one. It seems like only yesterday that she was a few weeks old and crying through the night. 

Now, I'm sitting here on a balcony over looking Paris with a tuxedo on having a glass of champagne. As I overlook the marvelous city, I can't help but recall the occurrences that led me to this point. In the silence, the door of my hotel room opens and Keito walks into the room. Looking at him, I'm filled with a feeling of butterflies in my stomach.

Keito: "Let's get down there. The ceremony will begin any time now."

You: "Sure."

I followed him out of the room and we walked down a hallway that was elaborately decorated with a multitude of expensive items. Trying to hide my nervousness, I just kept silent and walked in utter disbelief.

Keito: "Nervous, aren't you?"

You: "..."

Keito: "It's okay. You don't have to tell me. Are you ready for this?"

You: "More than I'll ever be."

Keito: "Good."

You: "Thanks for being my best man."

Keito: "What are brothers for?"

Flashback: 3 Months Earlier (3rd Person POV) [Seoul, South Korea]

You just finished signing CNBLUE to JYP and are on your way home. Having left Ava with Suzy, you were in no rush to be home. Passing by a local pizza shop, you bought a large pizza for both you and Suzy to share. With that, you went on towards your condo to be with your child. 

Getting there, you went up the elevator and went to your condo. Entering the door, Suzy was holding Ava and greeted you as you entered the condominium. Taking the pizza and placing it on the dinner table, you went over to Suzy playing with Ava in the living room. 

You: "How was she?"

Suzy: "She's been very behaved. What's best is that I think she's a very intelligent baby. We were playing with her toys and she displayed a lot of sense of how to use them."

You: "That's good to hear."

Smiling, you went over and started tickling your daughter. Her cute little giggles made both you and Suzy melt inside with emotion. 

You: "You sure are cute, aren't you?"

Suzy: "You've got that right oppa."

You stopped tickling her and when she got her composure back, she crawled over to Suzy. Suzy played with her and Ava seemed happy at the interaction. As they played, a muffled sound was heard coming from Ava's mouth. Looking at each other, you and Suzy tried to make sense of the situation.

Suzy: "Is she trying to?"

You: "I think so..."

Focusing your attention on your child, you each looked at Ava to see her try to make the sounds into a word once again. Ava grabbed Suzy's hand and once again began making sounds. 

Ava: "U...U..."

Further intrigued by the moment, you moved closer as you tried to hear what she was going to say. Ava still continued playing with Suzy's hand as she tried to make the word come together.

Ava: "U... Umma... Umma!"

Shocked, you fell back in surprise by your daughter's first words. Looking at Suzy, she was equally surprised by the choice of word Ava had. Ava continued playing with Suzy as she repeated and repeated her new found word. 

Ava: "Umma! Umma! Umma!"

Looking at each other, you were still in a state of shock and Suzy was as red as a tomato. Both of you were dumbfounded by the person Ava associated with the word "umma". Sure, Suzy had taken care of her the most out of everyone else, but never did any of you constitute that she was the "umma". In fact, that word was never said whenever you were around because you almost hated it. This time, you laughed off the situation and Suzy joined you. 

You: "You've got to be kidding me... Her first word..."

Suzy: "Is 'mommy'..."

Ava: "Umma! Umma!"

​You: "Well, she must really like her new talent. Isn't that just the cutest thing!"

Feeling warm inside, you tickled Ava and she giggled the way she always does. Even if Jessica wasn't awake to see this, everyone knew how much you loved your daughter. She was your heart, and they knew you were her armor. You were going to protect her from any kind of pain, even if that pain came from not being able to know her own mother. 

Suzy went over and brought the pizza over to where you were playing with Ava. As the two of you ate, Ava kept saying her newfound vocabulary as she played with Suzy. When Suzy was leaving, Ava even screamed it out as she walked out of the door. 

No one saw, but you were really bothered by Ava's first words. As much as it was a monumental moment, it was also the one word you hated. She had a mother, but her mother wasn't here. Suzy wasn't her mother, and yet she associated the word with her. You were unsure how you should deal with situation, and the only thing for sure is that Ava was both tired and felt your pain. 

Putting Ava to sleep, she started crying. Trying to calm her down, you spoke to her in a soft voice. Even if she couldn't understand you directly, you hoped she would get the feeling of your words.

You: "Oh, I'm sorry princess. Don't feel daddy's pain. I know things aren't perfect right now, but all we have is each other right now, okay? We have to stay strong and pray for mommy to wake up. Hey, maybe one day we'll wake up and this will be dream?"

As she calmed down, you put her to bed. Laying down on your own bed, you sat there looking at the ceiling. You had no idea how the future would turn out. All you could do was just wait and hope that it turns out for the best.

Flashback: 3 Months Ago [Seoul, South Korea]

The day after Ava said her first word, you decided to bring her with you to the hospital to visit Jessica. As you drove there, Ava was asleep on her car seat and you couldn't help but smile as you drove. Getting there, you both went into the room you've been paying for Jessica to be kept in. 

Walking in with Ava in your arms, you saw the love of your life still hooked up to a life support machine. Pulling up a seat next to her, you put Ava on the bed alongside her mother and looked at the two women you loved most next to each other. Ava had a inquisitive look on her face because she wasn't familiar with the environment she was in. Smiling, you started talking to her. 

You: "Ava... umma... umma..."

She looked at you talking to her with the same lost look she had earlier. Taking her tiny little hand, you placed her hand on Jessica's limp hand. 

You: "Umma."

Ava began touching Jessica's hand and tried playing with it the way she did with everyone else. When the hand didn't react the way she wanted it to, she became visibly dissappointed and started tearing up. She turned to you as she continued trying to play with Jessica.

Ava: "Umma...?"

Frowning, you knew you couldn't do anything about your daughter's sadness. Jessica wouldn't be able to play with her, and there was no changing that until she woke up. 

You: "I'm sorry baby... Umma can't play right now..."

Ava: "Umma~"

​Ava began crawling up Jessica's bed and went up to her mother's bossom. Once she got there, she lay herself sprawled along Jessica's chest. Putting her head down, she made herself comfortable. The next thing you know, she was preparing herself to fall asleep. 

Ava: "Umma~ Umma~ Umma~"

​Soon enough, she fell asleep on her mother's chest. Smiling at the sight, you just admired how the two of them looked like the happy family you had always imagined and wished for. Deep inside, it hurt you so much that this image couldn't last. In the silence of the room, you found yourself talking to Jessica as Ava slept.

You: "I'm so tired of waiting, but I'm so suppressed by my fear of losing you... But there's a side of me that yearns for a normal life, a normal family... at any cost... Is this what love is? Is it supposed to hurt this much? It's eating away at me, in all honesty... You're so precious to me, but I don't know if you'll ever be back... I don't know what I should do..."

As you talked to her, you didn't notice someone walk in the door. Your eyes were filled with tears and your words were muffled by your crying, but you needed to let it out. They kept quiet as you released all the emotions you kept pent up inside you. 

You: "You're so precious to me... Even if you never come back... You can't see, but I'm always watching over you... I'm calling out to you, but you can't hear me... Do you even remember me? Do you even think of me in your sleep? All I can do is cry now... I don't know if I'm a fool for waiting for you... I just wish that you'd come back to me, Jessica... I just want to be happy... I just want our daughter to truly have a mother... But I can't just marry someone else... My heart only beats for you... When I close my eyes, all I see is your face... In my dreams, all I dream of is you and Ava by my side... But as much as I love you... Every second I spend waiting hurts so much... I miss you, Jessica... Please come back to me..."

As you sat there crying your heart out, you felt a small hand patting your back. Turning to see who it was, you could barely make out who it was through your tear drenched eyes. You were only able to realize who it was when they spoke up. 

Taeyeon: "Oppa, I'm sorry..."

You: "Taeyeon, did you hear all of that?"

Taeyeon: "I heard enough..."

She wrapped her small arms around you in a warm hug and you hugged her back. You continued crying and rambling your feelings out to her because she was the only person who would ever listen to your pain.

You: "Taeyeon, am I really a bad man to deserve this? Did I do something really bad to feel this kind of pain?"

Taeyeon: "Oppa... I'm sure there's a reason this is happening... Everything that happens has a reason..."

You: "If there is a reason... It's not worth this kind of pain, Taeyeon... I feel so much pain every second I wait for her to wake up... There's no end to it... I can feel myself slowly dying the more I wait for her... Am I a fool for waiting, Taeyeon? Am I doing the right thing?"

Taeyeon: "Oppa..."

You: "Is it even worth it Taeyeon? I'm sacrificing my happiness and my daughter's development all for a chance that she'll wake up... Just for a chance... Every fiber of my logic is telling me to let go... But I'm bound by the life she's left behind... Her face haunts my being... When I imagine her voice, it chases the sanity out of me... I don't even know if these wounds will ever heal... There's just so much that time can't erase..."

Taeyeon: "Oppa, I know it's painful. But you have to stay strong."

You: "Strong? How can I stay strong when half of me is gone? I've held her hand through everything and now she's left me? I've tried so hard to tell myself that she's gone forever... Even if she's here physically... I've been alone all along..."

Taeyeon: "You're not alone oppa. You have me here to support you..."

You pulled her in tighter and cried more. Your tears soaked her shirt, but Taeyeon didn't mind letting you release your emotions. She knew well enough that you weren't prone to showing your emotions to anybody. If anything, she took it as the ultimate form of your trust. She was only one of two people who saw the real you. Jessica saw it first, but Taeyeon was seeing it in it's truest form right before her very eyes. You were normally arrogant and conceited, but this time you showed your true colors. You were insecure and afraid of what could happen, you were scared and you wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry for the rest of your being. She saw you vulnerable.

As your crying toned down, Taeyeon held onto your hand as the both of you let go of your embrace. You both sat there, in utter silence. 

Taeyeon: "I'm sorry... oppa..."

You: "It's okay, Taeyeon... It's okay..."

Taeyeon: "I know it's not..."

You: "I just don't know what to do Taeyeon... I just don't know..."

Flashback: 3 Months Ago (3rd Person POV) [Seoul, South Korea]

About a week after your emotional breakdown in the hospital, things went back to the way they had been for the past few months. Still at the office, you were finishing some papers until you went home to Ava. Today, Taeyeon had volunteered to take care of her. As you sat at your desk, two people walked into the room.

Keito: "I see that you're having fun with the assignment I gave you."

You: "You wish. I'm just writing out a will."

Father: "Will!?"

You: "Don't take it that way. I'm just writing it as a precaution just in case something happens to me. I left all my assets to Ava, nothing much."

Father: "That's still a very morbid thing to do at the age of 28."

Keito: "Morbid is putting it nicely..."

You: "Like I said, I have no control over what happens in the future... So, I'd like to make sure that my daughter is as protected as possible."

Keito: "That's not like you..."

You: "How?"

Father: "To be scared of the future... that's not in your nature... There's something bothering you... It's Jessica isn't it?"

You: "How did you know?"

Keito: "You don't have to be a genius to see the connection. Now, why don't we pour some drinks and talk about this?"

Grabbing three glasses from your liquor cabinet, Keito poured three glasses of tequila for all of you. Sitting on the set of chairs in your office, the three of you spoke about the situation.

Father: "You're beginning to lose hope... Aren't you?"

You: "I'd be lying if I said I didn't..."

Father: "Did you think about the advice Nick and I gave you a few months ago?"

You: "I think about it everyday..."

Keito: "Well, I think I support their idea as well. As much as I'd love for things to work out the way you had intended, it just doesn't seem possible at this point. If I were in your position, I might have bit the bullet and gotten married months ago..."

You: "That's why I'm me, and you are you..."

Father: "Do you have anyone in mind that could possibly fill the role?"

You: "I have a few in mind... But I still don't want to it... I don't think it's right..."

Keito: "Because you still love Jessica so much?"

You: "Exactly..." 

Keito: "If I were you, I'd listen to your heart... I know, right now, it yearns for Jessica... But there's room in there for someone else... someone who will actually be there..."

You: "Even if she isn't here... She still has me in her grasp..."

Flashback: 3 Months Ago (3rd Person POV) [Seoul, South Korea]

Heading home after your talk with Keito and your Father. You made it into your condo to the smell of cooked food and you saw Ava sitting at the dining table in her highchair. Looking into the kitchen, you saw Taeyeon placing some food on two plates. 

You: "Smells good!"

Taeyeon: "Thank you! Can you give Ava some milk from the fridge for me?"

You: "Sure."

Getting some milk from the refrigerator, you gave Ava her milk as Taeyeon placed the food on the table. The two of you began eating right away and you made quick work of the meal. Smiling brightly at Taeyeon, she seemed overjoyed by the appreciation you showed for her cooking.

Taeyeon: "Was it good?"

You: "It was great!"

Ava: "Umma~"

​Suddenly, you looked over to Ava and she was looking at Taeyeon with her empty milk bottle. One part of you was surprised that she devoured her milk. The other was surprised by her usage of "umma" to refer to Taeyeon this time. In the past week, she has stopped using it around Suzy and really began using it to refer to Taeyeon. Still taking it as her way of having fun with her new found language skills, you brushed it off.

Taeyeon: "Oh, baby! You finished it so fast! How about we go to bed now?"

Grabbing Ava, she took her to the bedroom and placed her in the crib. As she did that, you started playing some old romantic songs on your stereo system. When Taeyeon came back, she seemed surprised by the sudden playing of music.

You: "Leaving now?"

Taeyeon: "Yeah, I think I should get going."

Getting up, you gave her a hug and whispered in her ear.

You: "Thank you for watching Ava..."

Taeyeon: "I love her as if she were my own daughter. It was my pleasure..."

Suddenly, when she was trying to get free, you decided to start dancing. Taking her hand and holding it, and placing one hand on her hip you began dancing with her.

Taeyeon: "What's with the dancing?"

You: "I love these older love songs. They just make me want to dance with someone."

You two continued dancing to the classics for another few minutes. Upon finishing, Taeyeon handed you two pieces of paper as she walked out of the door way.

Taeyeon: "I have a concert tomorrow and I'd like to have both you and Ava there. It's a solo concert and don't worry, everything is acoustic so Ava won't cry from any heavy sounds."

Smiling, you nodded your head in agreement as you let her go on her way.

Flashback: 3 Months Ago (3rd Person POV) [Seoul, South Korea]

Since you didn't have work the next day, you spent most of the daylight hours catching up on lost sleep. Once it got to around 5 o'clock you went and took a shower. After that, you took Ava and cleaned her up as well. Dressing her up in a silver dress for babies that you had bought from Vera Wang, you let her play with her toys as you got dressed. Wearing a suit that matched with Ava's dress, you both made your way to the venue of Taeyeon's concert. 

Getting there, you were greeted by the rest of SNSD at the entrance. They all took to Ava and gave comments about how the both of you were matching. 

Tiffany: "It's so cute! The two of you look so nice when you're matching!"

You: "Thank you..."

Hyoyeon: "Did you plan this? You're really well-versed in fashion, aren't you?"

Walking into the venue, all of you sat next to each other for the concert. When Taeyeon entered the stage, you all cheered for her as she went through her set list. Nearing the end of her concert, she was about to play the final song of her concert. Talking into the microphone, she gave a small dedication for her last song. 

Taeyeon: "I'd like to dedicate this song to someone I really cherish and love. Even if they don't think of me the same way I think of them, I still love them deeply." 

With that, she began her marvelous singing. 

I know there's something in the wake of your smile

I get a notion from the look in your eyes

You've built a love, but that love falls apart

Your little piece of heaven, turns to dark

Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you

Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do

I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why

But listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye...

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile...

The precious moments are all lost in the tide

They're swept away, and nothing is what it seems

The feeling of belonging to your dreams...

As she finished singing the song, the entire crowd was almost brought to tears. Wanting to cry along with them, you had to control yourself. Not because you didn't want to look weak, but because you noticed something no one else did. 

The entire time she was singing that song...

She was looking straight into your eyes....

She was telling you to listen to your heart...

Flashback: 3 Months Earlier (3rd Person POV) [Seoul, South Korea]

After the concert, you left Ava with SNSD and made your way to the hospital. The entire drive going there, you were perplexed by what Taeyeon had sung to you. For some reason, you had to talk to Jessica, or what was left to her about it. Walking into the room, you stood over her limp body and just spoke.

You: "Jessica... I don't know what's wrong with me... I don't know how to stop the bleeding... My heart and my body hurt so much and there's no stop to it... Can you please just come back? Save me from what I've become... Save me from the nothing I've become without you... If you can't save me from myself... Then at least free me... Let me be free of you that way you are obviously free of me..."

As you rambled, the sensors hooked up to Jessica started going off. The beeps kept going and you see a fleet of medical personnel rushing into the room. They quickly take Jessica's bed and roll it out of the room, lost in the spur of the moment, you didn't know what to do. 

Sitting down on the floor, you had no idea what to think of what just happened....

Back To Present Time (Your POV) [Paris, France]

Keito and I walked into the small chapel and were greeted by the multitude of guests. While we had limited the number of people to 50, it still seemed like there was too many of them. Taking our spot near the altar, we waited for the bride and her father to walk through the doors. 

As the music began playing, Keito whispered in my ear.

Keito: "You're sure she's the one?"

You: "I listened to my heart for once. Let's hope I'm not wrong..."