Whenever Minseok thought about death it wasn't the way most people did. In his case his worry for others was small, because after all, people always seemed to move on easily without him. People would know about his death, but would not know about his missing presence. He wasn't sure when he started thinking like that but he felt like he stopped caring when he was about 10 and in pain. 

He had wanted it to end. 

After all those years of being alone, a kind deer attached himself to the dying tree.

Minseok would never say that he was depressed (he never tested it, doesn't think he is). He saw himself as a realistic dreamer (whatever that meant). 

After Luhan had given Minseok a gentle kiss, they had shyly walked home in comfortable silence. As soon as they had arrived Minseok had broken down. It had been a heartbreaking sight for Luhan - Minseok in his arms, but not in a way to be happy about.

"H..." Luhan had feared Minseok saying home,"Hospital." Minseok's voice had been weak and horse - Luhan dialled the hospital, after 26 minutes (Luhan had angrily kept track of time) Minseok had been laying in Room 201 again.

Minseok seemed asleep. I should've taken better care of you, Luhan thought, ruffling his own hair in frustration

A cold hand gently stopped his.

Luhan looked up, Minseok was still in the same position - eyes closed, soft breathing but a hand on Luhan's. "Might as well be a home?" Minseok whispered, if Luhan did not know any better he'd think Minseok was sleep talking. 

But he wasn't. 

He took a deep breath,"It's not your fault." Eyes still closed, only lips moving.

"Minseok," tears brimmed in those deer like eyes,"I got you distracted, made you forget your medication, I--I-"

"Thank you for that," Minseok sighed softly,  his lungs were making problems. "It's been a while but I was happy."

Minseok's words left Luhan speechless. 

"Stop crying."

"Y-your eyes are closed how--"

Minseok's eyes were still closed but his hand moved up to wipe off the tears on Luhan's red cheeks.

"Nothing is your fault," Minseok secretly had trouble speaking (whispering),"Stop blaming yourself for something you can't do anything about."

"How come you can read me like an open book and I barely know how you feel at this moment?" Luhan whispered as a reply, tears rolling in silence.

He saw Minseok's lips lift to a smile. "I read a lot of books," he said,"You're one of my favourites, Luhan." 

"Didn't know you'd be back so soon, Minseok," Doctor Jeong entered the room, walking towards her patient 201's bed,"Have you met your roommate already? Baekhyun; he's a serious troublemaker. Never takes his medication and disappears all the time."

Luhan frowned,"No one has been here since last night