First, please don’t hate me for taking foreverrrrrrrr to write this epilogue. Second, don’t hate me for this ending, for I’m going to (try to) explain it to you.

Honestly, I knew from a very early stage of writing this story that I wouldn’t let Aerin and Daehyun end up together. Even when I desperately liked to picture them as a couple myself. You might wonder why the heck I didn’t let their ship sail – after all I’m the writer and I like them so much together. Well, the main reason was because of the lesson I wanted to teach through this story. But for this vague reason to make any sense to you, I probably must tell you how I even came up with the story.

Truth is that a great part of the plot was inspired on events and feelings I have experienced myself back when I was in high school and I fell in love for the first time. The guy I used to be in love with was in his own way very much like Daehyun’s character in this story. He too was quite popular among the girls in my high school (there was no friends-with-benefits Yuna character however, that one was for the drama), he was somewhat bold and straight-forward and most importantly he was also considered handsome. All in all, he was considered as somewhat of a cool guy while I, on the other hand, wasn’t particularly viewed as a cool girl or anything. I always thought I didn’t stand out much. That particular view of me on the difference between him and me, was the beginning of it all – of all the insecurities.

Since he was a friend of the brother of my friend and I often came over to her house and met him there, we sort of naturally became friends. Then came the day I suddenly began to consider him more than a friend. That was also when I was confronted with the fact that he was quite popular. The more he flirted with me, the more I started to mistrust him because I had somehow planted this idea in my brain that he couldn’t only be flirting with me. My reasoning was that he could basically choose between so many girls and that choosing the average me within that bunch just wouldn’t make sense. Just like Aerin, I was insecure and an overthinker and I genuinely thought that I had my crush of back then all figured out. Also, I never really dared to tell him how I felt, nor did I have to courage to ask him how he actually felt about me. Because I became so insecure I became distant and therefore a bit unapproachable – playing hard to get even. In the beginning it somehow worked as he kept trying to gain my attention in the most absurd and as he kept trying, I just barely budged. At some point, a long while later, he simply stopped trying all together. In the beginning I used to blame him for us not working out, because he was never clear about how he truly felt, but now I know that that thinking was hypocrite since I could have made more effort too. Instead, I depended on him to make the real first move. Every. Single. Time.

The main point however: with all of this happening to me, I wanted to write a story to find some sort of closure for that chapter in my life. When I started this story, he had been the only guy in my life. Now as I write this closing author’s note (It’s been more than four years later, I know, shameful), I’ve had some more (I guess bad, lol) experience with guys. What’s funny though, is that I notice that my insecurities and aloofness when it comes to guys is still very much apparent within me. Therefore, even know I can still relate or Aerin. It’s like history is just repeating itself. Anyhow, I wanted to show my readers, in case they are going through a similar situation, that everyone is insecure about all kinds of things. Believe me, EVERYONE. Only the thing is, I shouldn’t get bigger than you. Not being the popular, handsome or particularly charming person doesn’t mean that somebody who seems to have it all can’t return mutual feelings. Some people like other people for the smallest yet precious reasons.

Back to how all the above influenced the plot of this story: I believe that Aerin’s characteristic insecurities and automatic defense mechanism were unconsciously in the way of her ability to fully open up and trust Daehyun. What went wrong in their relationship can all be traced back to one thing: honest and open communication. Something both lacked. They barely spoke their true honest thoughts about each other – to each other. Both were scared to truly cave in to the other. Aerin was insecure to the point that she wouldn’t allow herself to believe and accept the possibility of her being Daehyun’s dream girl. Her way of thinking was also in the way of them working out in the end. I couldn’t change her embedded way of thinking however – or at least not in that short time span. It wouldn’t make a lot of sense to do so. That’s why I found this ending the most realistic given the latest events.

Although it’s likely that I’m disappointing you all with this ending, I hope you understand where I’m trying to come from with this. In a twisted way I’m satisfied with this ending because it is a bit open to the point that you can make anything out of what could be happening next. I know very well that not being able to know if this is truly the end of them as an item is frustrating, but I’m curious about your opinion on this nonetheless: if you were me, what would you have had in mind for the end of this story – would you have let it end differently? Or would you end it like this and then let them have another story after this one? And if so, how would you let that turn out? Would you let them hook up immediately? Would you let them meet in another far away time again? Would they be taken already? Or would you do it completely different? If you have the time and the desire I would love to read your answer to those questions.

Alright, this was the longest A/N ever.

It has been a great honor that all of you were willing to read my story. To subscribe to my story. To upvote my story. To comment on my story. It means so much, I can never thank you guys enough. Looking back, I’ve learned and developed my writer skills a lot. I realize that as I read my first chapters again. My writing truly has become so much better through the chapters!

Although I’m satisfied with the overall story, I still think things can be (written) better though. Because of that I will most likely edit (some of) my chapters. I still find irking mistakes in them. I might expand some chapters and I might delete some things in chapters too. So, in case you were to read this story again, don’t be surprised that some things will be (slightly) different. I won’t change anything major and if I do I will point it out in an update.

And at last: Thank you so much for monitoring everything until the end.

Thank you.

PS. A lot of my writing (style) and even my motivation to start writing was formed by reveredconstellation whose story In Constant Stars is just AMAZING. Therefore, I want to give a big thanks to her for she will always have this special place within my heart. Unfortunately, she is as much MIA as I am – we are both growing into busy adults by now – but I think it’s still very much worth it to read her story. Thank me later: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/634642/in-constant-stars-comedy-drama-highschool-romance-originalcharacter-bap-daehyun