Chapter 10 - Project Y

It was funny how I kept running into Daehyun I thought randomly when we exited the room and headed downstairs. It wasn’t funny actually, it was quite strange. I have only ran into him since we met, like it was destined.

But I guess that’s just how the universe works somehow. If I, for example, never had given him that ride on my bike, I wouldn’t have met him at Jea’s place nor wouldn’t I ran into him at that coffee shop called Serendipity – ironically. I wouldn’t have met him on that balcony moments ago. But I did, I did and now he was saying we were friends for it. My theory about the universe wasn’t really solid however: if I hadn’t met him nearby the bike stalls, I would have met him at Jea’s. Maybe we wouldn’t go to the convenience store, sure, but I would have met him. Or actually I don’t know and I will never know if and how I would have met him. I know him now and that is all there was to it, I philosophized. Was the alcohol getting to me since I was thinking such absurd things at this moment?

Daehyun turned around when he noticed that I was caught up in my thoughts - about him - which had resulted in me walking slower.

‘’Are you alright?’’ He asked with a frown. I figured I must’ve looked pretty stupid. I just nodded and followed after him. I don’t know where he was taking me, but at least I wasn’t alone and for that I was glad.

‘’Don’t tell me that you’re drunk already,’’ he chuckled before grabbing my upper arm firmly yet gently. There was no need for that skin ship, I wasn’t drunk at all. He didn’t let go of me though and leaded me towards the kitchen.

It was quite crowded. People were pouring drinks near the multiple tables while chatting with one another. I noticed that it was especially crowded near the counters. People walked away from it with a grin on their faces, in their hands plastic plates with pizza and that’s when I realized the reason it had been so crowded in the first place. There was definitely no room for Daehyun and me to score a slice for ourselves which resulted in a sulky expression on my part. Apparently Daehyun had noticed my expression since he tried to drag me towards the counter even though it was blocked by two girls. They both gave him their most seductive smiles when they noticed him before scooting a little, making room for him. It was only then that they trailed his hand with their eyes, the hand that was still holding unto my upper arm. It probably clicked that Daehyun meant to make room for me too. They gave me this small fake smile before leaving with the pizza on their plates. I glanced at their back, a frown appearing. That smile was weird, what were they assuming?

‘’You want some?’’ Daehyun asked, interrupting my thoughts. I forgot about the girls and nodded eagerly. He handed me a a plate with a slice before grabbing one slice for himself, or two actually.

‘’Geez, you look like I handed you the world on a silver platter,’’ he joked when I took a big bite from my food. He was quite the joker I noticed.

‘’That’s because you did,’’ I said happily before taking another bite. I was so engrossed in my pizza that I didn’t notice Seokjin coming in. When I took notice of him I saw that his gaze kept shifting between Daehyun and me. He walked towards us, or Daehyun actually, and gave him this handshake. Apparently that is something cool guys do to greet each other.

‘’Jung Daehyun, the man, is in the house.’’ Seokjin exclaimed while patting Daehyun’s shoulder. Seokjin was definitely drunk, he smelled like alcohol after all and everybody on this party seemed to be tipsy or drunk anyway.

Daehyun fake-smiled a little before replying: ‘’You know it.’’

They talked the typical guy talk, which consisted of girls mostly. Seokjin was making this fuss about some girl I didn’t know but apparently Daehyun did. Seokjin would glance over me sometimes which made me uncomfortable. It was almost like I was supposed to hear his bragging. Daehyun wasn’t all too enthusiastic about the subject. There was something odd about the way Daehyun interacted with Seokjin. The latter didn’t seem to notice though. I felt awkward just standing there while they were having their guy talk so I got my phone out of my clutch. That was when I realized I never replied to Jea’s messages.

‘’Are you two dating? I thought you were busying yourself with Yuna,’’ Seokjin asked suddenly, grabbing my attention. I almost choked on my saliva.

‘’No.’’ Daehyun answered firmly with this certain look in his eyes and furrowed brows. His expression was rather weird and I couldn’t read it at all. I didn’t know if his answer referred to Yuna or us dating, but somehow I suspected the latter. He looked like it was disgusting to date me.

I was quite offended by his firm answer but tried to act like it hadn’t offended me nonetheless. Just moments ago he had indirectly stated that I was pretty, he was basically flirting with me! How could he make such a disgusted expression?

He seemed so twofaced at the moment that I didn’t know what to think of him anymore. I did know that I was disappointed though, especially since I had so much fun in talking with him upstairs. I felt like I could be myself around him because I’ve never been this playful towards people except my friends. Somehow it had felt right to be playful. It was my personality after all, but Daehyun’s facial expression made me insecure about my actions. Hadn’t I acted according to his liking? Why would I want that anyway?

‘’Good,’’ Seokjin said with that dirty smirk on his face while putting his arm over my shoulder which almost resulted in me losing grip on my plate with the pizza on it.

‘’So I can have her? Don’t worry Dae, Yuna is quite a catch too,’’ he finished. It wasn’t even a question more of a statement. I quickly removed his arm.

‘’Nobody is having anybody here,’’ I said before walking away with my plate still in my left hand and my phone in the other. I tried to walk away coolly but it didn’t really work. I threw my pizza in the trash before trying to make my way out of the kitchen.

I wanted to get away from all these drunk annoying people and bipolar Jung Daehyun. I don’t know why everything he said could get to me, but it did. I quickly glanced back at the two of them. Seokjin seemed surprised but laughed it off while Daehyun had this expression on I couldn’t read – yet again. It looked rather blank and I was disappointed that he didn’t make an attempt to stop me from leaving. We were each other’s company after all. I guess popular guys like Jung Daehyun had no problem with finding new company.

I arrived in the big living room. I couldn’t properly see in this sea of people but that could be because of the alcohol that was probably sinking in. The music was louder now and I felt myself growing more annoyed. It suddenly hit me that Chaerin had been in the backyard a while ago so I decided to go there. Right now I didn’t care that I could interrupt her little moment. She was supposed to stick with me, like she had promised.

I spotted Choi Yuna first, once outside. I wondered if she had been waiting for Daehyun here this whole time. Then I noticed that she was laughing away with some girls I recognized as the people she would often sit with during lunch break so I assumed that - at least - she wasn’t miserably waiting, if she were in the first place. I tried to find the spot where I had seen Chaerin earlier. It was a little harder to find her now for some reason.

It actually took me some time before I finally spotted them. They were sitting in the grass, leaning against the little gardenhouse. Her head leaned against his shoulder and he just smiled while she happily talked to him about something.

A cold breeze blew past me which made me shudder. It had been a rather warm night I thought to myself, especially considering the season we were in which was winter. It was cold, but not extremely at least. People were out in the backyard, the actual outside, in dresses after all. Then again, some alcohol could keep you warm.

I stared at both Chaerin and Yongguk and suddenly felt like it wouldn’t be appropriate to interrupt them, so I walked towards the house again. I complimented myself for being so rational in a situation like this.

My phone suddenly buzzed. How come I forgot about that thing all the time? I never forgot about my phone. The message was from Jea.

Jea: Aerin where r u?

Jea: Please Aerin answer, I’m worried

Jea: I can’t find Chaerin either

Jea: Aerin?????

Aerin: I'm in the front yard

I replied before making my way towards there, it would be quiet there and Jea wouldn’t be able to see and interrupt Chaerin that way. It would be killing two birds with one stone. A reply came in almost immediately.

Jea: No you’re not. I’m there

Jea: And I don’t see you

I quickened my pace in order to get there fast. It was hard getting through the living room because of the crowd though. I replied while trying to squirm myself through the people.

Aerin: Coming

Aerin: Stay

There was no reply anymore. It took me around five moments to actually get at the front yard which showed how big the house was. I spotted Jea, she was with Himchan and Youngjae. I almost ran up to them.

‘’Hi.’’ I panted, tired from the little run.

Jea stormed towards me before embracing me.

‘’Where were you?’’ She asked worriedly in my neck. It tickled so I giggled. She let go of me and looked at me with questioning eyes.

‘’I… I.. was,’’ I stuttered while trying to come up with a lie. I couldn’t tell her that I was with Daehyun for some reason. She would think weird of me and his friends were right behind her, they would surely think weird of me too.

‘’I was lost and looking for you guys,’’ I finally answered. It was a terrible lie, but it was the best I could come up with within those couple of seconds.

Jea looked at me with a frown, ‘’why didn’t you answer my messages then?’’

She had me right there, what could I say now? My phone died? Obviously not since I answered her minutes ago. Why hadn’t I texted them the first time I lost them actually? Why was I being so stupid on this party? I really had no clue.

‘’I… I…’’ I stuttered, I was a terrible liar.

‘’Are you drunk?’’ She interrupted me.

‘’No!’’ I half yelled. Why would she think that? I only drank two red cups and one of them was a mixed drink, it wasn’t a big deal.

‘’How much did you drink?’’ She asked like she was my mother.

‘’Two cups,’’ I answered truthfully.

She frowned again, ’’Hmm... a red cup is quite big! I know you have a high tolerance though so I leave it at tipsy. Were you drinking alone?’’ She asked with a frown.

I just nodded. She mouthed a ‘weirdo’ but smiled relieved nonetheless. I was relieved too for finally finding her. I felt this feeling of ecstasy actually, like I could perhaps have fun here now.

‘’Have you seen Chaerin?’’ She asked.

I shook my head. I wanted Chaerin to enjoy her moment for as long as possible. Knowing Jea, she would want to spy on them.

She nodded. ‘’Want to go inside and actually have some-‘’ she tried to ask before the loud bass of 2NE1’s I am the best was heard. I immediately grabbed her by the wrist while dragging her along.

‘’I freaking love this song we should go inside!’’ I yelled while dragging her with me further. My playful side was resurfacing and I felt free all of a sudden. Like there wasn’t anything to care about. All I wanted to do was dance, to have a good time with my friend. I left a dumbfounded Youngjae and Himchan behind. Normally I would care for dragging Jea away so abruptly, it was rude after all. I didn’t care now however.

I almost ran so we were inside the living room within seconds, or at least the entry of it. I let go of her and started to dance while moving towards the center of the people. I knew the dance so I danced them like there was no tomorrow. I felt so weird but so good at the same time. Jea only smiled and danced along with me. We would dance a lot for fun during our slumber parties so she knew that she just needed to follow me since I would always come up with random steps. I smiled like a goofball while dancing. I even sang, acting like it was my own song playing. We danced for what felt like hours on every random Kpop song that would come up. People were surprised that I knew so many dances and followed me in amusement. It was a lot of fun but my feet began to hurt from those heels I was wearing. I needed a break so I motioned Jea to follow me to the backyard. Once we set foot outside I kicked of my high heels. It was the most relieving feeling right now.

Jea looked at me while laughing. ‘’Have you gone mad, you never act like this in public!’’ She said laughed.

‘’I’m just having fun.’’ I answered with a wide grin.

‘’Aerin?’’ I heard someone call. It was Chaerin, she was walking beside Yongguk. I had forgotten they were here, but then again I gave them a lot of time.

‘’What the hell happened to your heels,’’ Chaerin asked when she took notice of my bare feet on the grass. Yongguk chuckled.

‘’Nothing, they were killing me,’’ I shrugged.

She narrowed her eyes at me. ‘’Have you been drinking?’’ Why was everyone assuming I was drunk, I was just having fun?

‘’Only a little,’’ I answered truthfully while settling down on some bench nearby the entrance of the house, or exit… depending on where you came from. Chaerin still eyed me but shrugged it off eventually.

‘’I’m going to look for the guys,’’ Yongguk suddenly said before disappearing into the house and the crowd.

Both Jea and I were giving Chaerin this look, that look that meant she had to tell us a lot.

She rolled her eyes. ‘’Not here, not now,’’ she said, simply closing the topic like that before changing it again: ‘’Where were you Aerin! Do you know how long we waited for you?’’ She was probably overreacting because my chat with Yuna didn’t last that long… Or I at least I didn’t think so.

‘’I was held up by Yuna and when I came downstairs I couldn’t find you anymore,’’ I answered truthfully.

‘’That was Chaerin’s fault! She saw Yongguk and went along with him, she even left me alone! I had to hang out with Himchan and Youngjae. Not cool Chae, but I forgive you if you provide me a juicy story later,’’ Jea exclaimed. Her (in)famous smug smile appeared while saying that last sentence.

The three of us erupted in laughter. Jea’s smug smile was always hilarious. The way she would purse her lips in a teasing way were always a source of laughter for us.

‘’What did you do all this time?’’ Chaerin asked me while looking at the time on her phone, ‘’It’s almost 01:00 AM.’’

‘’I… uh… just searched for you guys,’’ I lied again.

‘’Yea sure, you’re saying you couldn’t find us within a whole hour? Try to lie better, Aerin,’’ she said amused. Why did she know me so well? It was annoying in situations like this.

She didn’t give me a chance to defend myself. ‘’You were making out with some boy, weren’t you bad girl!’’ She almost yelled, trying to mock me.

‘’G I Z to the I B E, I’m a bad girl, can’t you see?’’ Jea started to sing randomly. They were both mocking me now. I was about the say something but Chaerin wouldn’t let me.

‘’Who was it? Kim Seokjin? He is cute, when will the wedding be?’’ Chaerin teased. They were getting crazier by the minute.

‘’Or maybe Moon Jongup!’’ Jea butted in.

‘’Jung Daehyun!’’ Chaerin yelled. They were both in tears from laughing now. I didn’t find it funny at all so I just looked at them with a frown.

‘’What’s the matter with me?’’ A now red Daehyun asked. He popped out of nowhere. Or actually he didn’t really since he entered the backyard with Yongguk, Youngjae and Himchan some seconds earlier. It still felt unexpected, he was the person I wanted to see the least here right now. Somehow I was still offended by the face he had made.

He eyed my heels that were laying a little further in the grass and he didn’t even let Chaerin explain herself before he would insult me yet again.

‘’Put on your heels again, I can smell your feet,’’ he said with this goofy smirk, a smirk I wanted to slap away at the moment. The whole group started to laugh like crazy and I grew really embarrassed which even resulted in me turning a bright red. What the hell did I do to deserve this kind of behavior from him all of sudden? He was acting really weird and I didn’t know if the alcohol could be the cause of it or if this has been his personality all along.

I narrowed my eyes at him, silently telling him to die but he only smirked. The happiness I felt earlier while I was dancing disappeared as soon as it had hit me. I felt myself growing grumpier by the minute. Everybody was talking with each other about random things but I wasn’t really paying attention and kept quiet. My feet were still bare. I wouldn’t give in to Jung Daehyun. The group kept chatting and I was growing really bored – and annoyed.

I abruptly stood up and put on my heels again.

‘’Where are you going?’’ Chaerin asked startled.

‘’I’m going to see Soojin for a bit, she texted,’’ I lied before walking away. I didn’t see their expressions since I was gone rather quickly. I felt like I could breathe again even though I was in a place more crowded than before. I felt so disappointed with Daehyun.

What was I supposed to do now though? I felt miserable again and wanted to go home. I’ve had enough of this party. My feet were in pain and I was tired. I climbed upstairs and headed towards the balcony again, it was the only peaceful place in this house right now. Luckily nobody had found that out yet and so I sat down and gave my mind some rest. I just sat there for minutes not really doing anything. I could see the group from up here. Yuna had joined them and she seemed happy to finally have found Daehyun since she would hang around him, laughing goofily. They indeed seemed like a couple… were they?

I felt so conflicted about him. Why was that anyway? I didn’t really know him, but I thought I did. Was I disappointed because I was wrong about him? Because I had thought he was this nice handsome guy, but he wasn’t in reality minus the handsome part? Then again wasn’t I exaggerating? He insulted me three times or something - Why did I even count? - and he could’ve been joking, why was he getting to me like this? Why was I even thinking about him like this? I shouldn’t care this much about a guy I didn’t really know. But his behavior sure was a mystery to me.

I lay down on the sunbed and got out my phone. I wasn’t really doing anything. Just scrolling through Facebook distracting myself from my own thoughts, or questions rather. Questions without answers. There were a very few new feeds since everybody was busy, partying here. I sighed, how long would I have to wait before we could leave? For once I regretted staying over at Chaerin’s. If I didn’t stay over I could go home right now. Take a night bus or something.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Somebody suddenly asked, startling me. It was Chaerin and she looked concerned.

‘’How… did you know I was up here?’’ I asked surprised. She sat down in the chair near me.

‘’I know you Aerin, you weren’t even busy with your phone. Soojin couldn’t have texted you. So I simply searched for you in a quiet place. It took some time though,’’ she simply stated. She was right of course, Soojin texting me had been a stupid lie.

I looked away, busted. ‘’So what’s the matter, is it because of Daehyun’s comment? Because you know he was just-‘’

‘’No,’’ I interrupted her. ‘’It has nothing to do with him,’’ I said firmly, like I was trying to convince myself rather. It was a lie however and Chaerin saw through it, I knew that because she narrowed her eyes at me. She let me go for this once though.

‘’Okay,’’ she replied. ‘’You want to get out of here?’’

I nodded. Never was I more relieved to have somebody who understood what I wanted without me actually having to say it out loud. She could read me.

I was thankful for a friend like Kim Chaerin.

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