Chapter 15 -Heart to heart

‘’Spill.’’

I got startled from the unexpected sound of her voice, to the point she had me jumping. I sighed before opening my mouth. ‘’Geez, do you want me to die from a heart attack?’’ She didn’t respond, she was just laughing. Apparently she found it hilarious that she had scared me.

‘’Spill what actually, Chaerin?’’ I asked while slamming my locker shut. It was Friday morning, the day after the little quarrel, and I was about to head to History class. Chaerin was standing behind me, leaning against the opposite locker, eyeing my every move.

‘’You know that very well.’’

I sighed. Yes, I did know very well. The question was rather how she knew. I wondered if people were actually talking about this incident. That would be great.

‘’Can we talk about this like… later? I need to go to class now,’’ I groaned while struggling with the different books in my hand. I tried to pile them up neatly but it wasn’t working, instead I looked like a complete klutz.

‘’Fine, but I want to know by lunch break,’’ Chaerin responded before grabbing a book from my hands. I gave her a thankful smile before grabbing the book again and placing it on top of the, now stable, pile. I walked out of the locker area and she followed after me.

‘’You know, I haven’t even figured out what happened myself. So there isn’t anything to talk about really,’’ I muttered. Chaerin was walking beside me now, accompanying me to my classroom. It was a quite unusual sight, she never bothered with escorting me to class. Especially since we didn’t even share one class together.

‘’That’s why we have to go over it together.’’

‘’Can we like… not discuss this during lunch break then? What if people miraculously hear and this whole things blows up further than it should?’’

She blinked a couple of times in surprise before giving in to my request. ‘’Okay fine. Come pick up Yejin with me after school then, after that we can go to my place and talk.’’

I thought about that option for a while but then I realized something. ‘’Well… what about my bike then?’’ I asked slightly amused. I knew Chaerin would throw this ridiculous - luckily not all too serious - fit. She always did whenever I mentioned my bike to her. She started with a roll of the eyes.

‘’Oh yeah, that goddamn thing. You know what? Let’s just meet up later. That bike of yours is always causing problems,’’ she sighed.

I chuckled. ‘’I’ll just come over a bit later, okay? Oh yea and buy me ice cream while we are at it,’’ I jokingly suggested, not expecting her to give in to me.

‘’I will, since life has been so tough on you lately,’’ Chaerin laughed while pinching my cheek. I hated it when she mocked me in that manner.

‘’Will Jea be coming?’’ I asked while removing her hand from my cheek.

‘’No, her mother is finally back in town so they’re spending time together. She knows anyway, only not in the details you are about to provide.’’

‘’What?’’ I had no clue about Mrs. Kim coming back. Why couldn’t Jea tell me something so important? After all, she had bothered to tell Chaerin, apparently. And how did Jea know about what happened yesterday? Chaerin wasn’t the type to tell her something about me without asking my permission for it. That was the way our friendship worked.

Chaerin just chuckled. ‘’Relax Aerin. I will explain everything later on.’’

We were now standing before the doorpost that led to my History class and so we dropped the subject. Chaerin eyed my class, in particular Soojin who was sitting in the front. She eyed her with this certain look, like she was being cautious of her. I sighed while shaking my head playfully. I should’ve known that Chaerin was only accompanying me to protect me in some sort of crazy way.

‘’Really, Chaerin?’’ I asked with a roll of my eyes. It’s not like Soojin would attack me or something. Her bodyguard behavior was really unnecessary.

Chaerin just shrugged before she smiled sheepishly, waved and eventually walked off. I shook my head once again before entering class. I walked past Soojin, who wouldn’t even spare me a glance, before I took a seat at my usual spot, got out my notebook and waited for Mrs. Im to arrive. While doing so I wondered how Chaerin knew about what had happened yesterday. Both Soojin and I weren’t interesting people, or at least I thought we weren’t. We were on the down low and weren’t usually talked about. Our quarrel had been unusual so in some way I could comprehend why the people who had actually witnessed the whole thing would talk about it. Those were just a couple of girls though and I doubted that they had any ties with Chaerin.

Then again, Chaerin knew a lot about everyone. How, I didn’t know myself. Somehow she just knew a lot. I sighed when I thought about all the stuff I had to tell her. I know I needed to mention Daehyun and our seemingly relationship for the story to actually make sense to her. I could only predict how nosy she would get over this. It would be a long talkative day to say the least.

‘’You weren’t kidding!’’ I exclaimed happily while dropping myself on Chaerin’s bed. She tossed the B&J Caramel Chew Chew to me before she nodded and spoke up: ‘’I said so didn’t I?’’

‘’Well yea, but still,’’ I shrugged. Chaerin handed me a spoon and I started to dig into my ice-cream like a little kid.

‘’So…’’ Chaerin began before taking a bite of her Stawberry Cheesecake flavored ice-cream, ‘’what happened between you and Soojin yesterday?’’ Soojin’s name rolled of Chaerin’s tongue like very bitter coffee.

Chaerin’s question was a question I couldn’t answer. I still couldn’t really comprehend the situation, after all.

‘’How do you know about it anyway?’’ I asked avoiding her question.

‘’You are wondering about that, aren’t you? Since you didn’t bother to tell me yourself? I will tell you after you tell me everything though. So be patient and don’t try to avoid the subject because you tend to do that whenever the name Jung Daehyun is about to come up,’’ she observed with her head tilted to the right.

She even knew this was about Daehyun?

‘’You should become a private investigator,’’ I joked while taking another bite from my ice-cream. She just narrowed her eyes at me which meant I was supposed to speak up. So I sighed and did.

‘’Okay, well… I guess it started with this meeting I had with Soojin at Serendipity. I had promised to spend some time with her and so I did. Daehyun and Himchan walked in some time after we did and she confessed that she was having a crush on Daehyun so I asked her whether it was a real crush or one of her usual crushes, because usually her crushes don’t mean anything and-‘’

‘’And let me guess, she said it was a real crush?’’ Chaerin interrupted me.

‘’Well she said it was not really a real crush, but more than a usual crush which meant that-‘’

‘’Which meant it was a real crush,’’ Chaerin interrupted me once again while nodding her head, concluding for herself that she was right. I rolled my eyes.

‘’No because-‘’ I tried again.

‘’Aerin, I’m telling you she has a serious crush on Daehyun. Like stage 3. Even though she doesn’t really know him… I’m surprised you didn’t know because quite a lot of people know. I think even Daehyun himself knows.’’

What? How come I didn’t know then? I was her friend after all. Or well, we weren’t that close but still. We talked on an almost daily basis. She couldn’t stop talking about boys and yet she failed to mention that she sincerely liked Jung Daehyun?

‘’Remember in our first year on high school? When we had that soccer tournament?’’ Chaerin interrupted my unanswered questions.

I tried to recall that tournament. I remember that you had to compete against students from the same year and I remember that people from different classes were put together as one team. According to the teachers this had been a way of uniting all the students - instead of only one class - which is why this tournament would take place every year, though the sport would occasionally change. The tournament had been a tradition my school was very fond of – so were the boys. I remember that I had been on a team with only one person from my class, a girl called Seo Joohyun. The rest were students from other classes. Though the tournament was a competition it could rather be seen as a fun day off where students would rather socialize than putting effort in competing – unlike my team who actually passionately wanted to win and didn’t bother with socializing at all. It was normal for people to hang with groups you normally wouldn’t hang with - the groups were mixed anyway - and it was normal for friendships, or more, to blossom during that day. Of course this hadn’t applied to me since my captain had ordered us to practice like crazy during the breaks. Ironically we didn’t even win the tournement. In the end that honor went to Jung Daehyun’s team that also consisted of Seokjin if I remember correctly.

Back then I didn’t know Daehyun personally though, I had only known of him. I also wasn’t that close with Soojin yet. Not that we were close now apparently, I mean she didn’t bother to tell me such important things after all.

‘’Hmm what about it?’’ I asked with raised eyebrows.

‘’Well she had kind of confessed to him during that tournament because of Yuna and it-’’

‘’What?’’ I interrupted her for a change. This was all so new to me. I didn’t even know that Yuna and Soojin had really known each other. ‘’They know each other?’’

‘’Well, they were in the same team back then and I had seen them chatter a lot. You know how openly Yuna talks about everything. I guess Soojin opened up to her too and told her about Daehyun,’’ she shrugged.

‘’And then what? What happened?’’ I asked.

‘’I don’t know exactly, but I know that we were playing truth or dare with this large group at some point. Yuna had suggested it and invited people to play along such as Soojin, Daehyun and me. At some point Yuna had chosen Soojin to answer her question and Soojin chose truth so Yuna asked her who she liked. Soojin had admitted it in front of everyone.’’

I tilted my head to the side, confused, and narrowed my eyes at her. That’s it? ‘’So… that’s it? What did Daehyun say?’’

‘’Well he said nothing, he just laughed sheepishly. It was awkward for a couple of minutes since Soojin had looked really hopeful probably because Yuna had encouraged her. She looked as if she expected Daehyun to return her feelings immediately. He didn’t of course, he hadn’t even known her. We played further and yea…’’

I instantly felt bad for Soojin. How embarrassed she must have been, I know I would. It would perfectly explain why she didn’t like Yuna. I had thought that it was just plain jealousy but there had been more to it. How come I never knew stuff like this?

‘’Why didn’t you tell me about this?’’ I asked in disbelief.

‘’As if you would care… you never bother with such things. Besides you weren’t even friends with Soojin back then and to me it wasn’t a big deal since I don’t care about her at all. You would only see it as gossip and cut me off anyway.’’

Chaerin was right. I wouldn’t have cared and I wouldn’t have listened to her. At least, not back then.

‘’But… that doesn’t mean that she still likes him now right? How can you be so sure?’’ It had been over a year ago after all.

‘’Well I’m not… but if she’s treating you like this just because of you accompanying him, it has to be right? I mean, she can’t be that immature.’’ I wondered how Chaerin knew about the treatment I got from Soojin, but I guess she would elaborate on that point later on.

‘’Okay but anyway… so they had entered and at some point and they noticed me so they kind of greeted me and that was when Soojin was asking me if and how I knew them. She was especially asking about Daehyun. She kept asking me if we were friends and at some point she even concluded that I was friends with him. I told her that we weren’t friends and that I didn’t even know him-‘’

‘’But you did know him… so you lied,’’ Chaerin interrupted once again.

I rolled my eyes impatiently, she could never let me finish without butting in. ‘’Well… no not really we are mere strangers.’’

‘’You were mere strangers, Aerin. You guys aren’t exactly strangers anymore and I find it funny that you keep insisting that you are.’’

I decided to ignore her remark since she was forcing me to see the truth. We weren’t strangers anymore and I actually didn’t know why I didn’t want to acknowledge that fact. I continued and I told her about how I had ran into Daehyun on the balcony during Seokjin’s party and how we had talked, laughed and teased. About his remarks that hadn’t sat well with me and how we left the balcony eventually and got ourselves pizza in the kitchen. How that had ended in me leaving quite irritated and how I ran into Jea and eventually her again. I told her every single detail and she listened carefully, sometimes nodding her head indicating that she was thinking my words through.

‘’She texted me and at some point we were talking about that party. I told her that I hadn’t seen her and she replied that she had seen me with Daehyun. She even said that I lied to her and that we were obviously friends to say the least. Also, she hasn’t asked me about homework ever since.’’

‘’Funny how it has to take a guy to do her own goddamn work,’’ Chaerin scoffed. I guess that was true.

‘’She had acted normal after that though. She had been distant but not to the point that she was avoiding and ignoring me which she tends to do when she’s mad. But yesterday she was ignoring me completely so I asked her what the matter was and that is when she basically snapped at me asking me if I liked Daehyun. She even accused me of lying to her back at Serendipity when I told her I had no ties with him. She was basically implying that we were doing stuff upstairs and she started to yell at me too.’’ I sighed while recalling that moment.

‘’So do you?’’ Chaerin asked, completely ignoring my long explanation about Soojin.

‘’Do what Chaerin?’’ I asked with a raised brow.

‘’Do you like Daehyun?’’ There was a glint in her eye and she reminded me of my mother some days ago.

‘’No I don’t.’’ My response caused Chaerin to narrow her eyes at me.

‘’Are you sure? You are awfully bothered by his actions. If you weren’t into him in the slightest way you wouldn’t have cared that much. What more is there? Oh yea… You are actually playful and flirty with him and you are never playful around people, with the exception of Jea and I. Plus-‘’

‘’I wasn’t flirty!’’ I defended. 

Chaerin scoffed before shaking her head, ‘’what you said is called flirting Aerin.’’

She didn’t give me time to respond to her. ‘’Let me tell you what I think about this whole fight between you and Soojin and your relationship with Jung Daehyun,’’ she said with an amused face.

‘’Please enlight me with your wisdom Chaerin,’’ I responded sarcastically.

She chuckled before she began her analysis: ‘’I think that Soojin is jealous of you and Daehyun. I think that she must’ve thought that she had no competition on your part and when she realized she did, she got mad. Because… let’s face it that’s apparently how immature she is. When she learned that you knew him she must’ve thought that she had her golden ticket in getting to know him through you, just like she had tried with Yuna back then. Only that with Yuna had backfired on her. She didn’t expect you to actually like him and when she noticed you on that party she was convinced otherwise. That’s why she snapped.’’

‘’But I don’t like him Chaerin.’’

She totally ignored me and went on: ‘’Then for Jung Daehyun. I think you have at least a tiny crush on him. I mean, come on… you’re obviously attracted to him and you have said it yourself, he is handsome, funny and quite nice. You were seeing this whole perfect image of him and that must have attracted you.’’

I hated how right she was. Now I could never mention my dream to her, it would only confirm her theory and spur her on more.

‘’And that’s why you are bothered about his jerk-ish comments. Because you care how he views you,’’ she finished with a wide smile almost giving herself a pat on her own shoulder for coming up with her brilliant theory about my seemingly love life.

I just dug my spoon in my ice-cream and acted as if I wasn’t paying any attention to Chaerin’s observation. I didn’t want to admit it, but she was right. Maybe I had this tiny tiny little crush on Daehyun. Didn’t a lot of girls though? It was nothing serious.

‘’And here you are, pretending that you haven’t heard any of this because you were too busy scooping your ice-cream, which only confirms my theory. God, you’re so obvious Aerin.’’

I let out a long breath before picking my words carefully. ‘’Okay fine, let’s just say that I have a tiny crush on him. So what? It’s not like I’m going to do anything about it anyway. Besides I’m only attracted to him and that’s totally understandable because he is quite good looking and charming,’’ I mumbled in one breath.

‘’Oh my god, you actually admitted it! That was easier than I thought it would be,’’ she chuckled to herself. I only rolled my eyes. Lying to Chaerin wouldn’t do me any good anyway, she could see right through me. A silence fell upon us and for the first time I hated this silence between the two of us, especially since Chaerin was eyeing me the entire time. With a goofy smile on her face and wiggling eyebrows.

‘’So… how did you know about me and Soojin anyway?’’ I asked in order to change the subject. She promised she would tell me after I had told her everything and I had done that now. I told her every detail.

‘’I overheard Daehyun and Youngjae talking about it in the library yesterday, after school had ended,’’ she casually shrugged.

I almost chocked on the chocolate chunk I was about to chew. He knows? It was understandable that Youngjae would inform him though so I don’t know why I was still so surprised. I guess deep down I still hoped that Youngjae would forget about the incident and wouldn’t tell Daehyun. I massaged my temples in frustration. Chaerin was right, life was being tough on me.

Chaerin chuckled like this whole thing was super funny and I guessed maybe to her it was. ‘’Aerin it’s not a big deal. I heard him say he found it cute!’’ She was laughing by now.

‘’Not a big deal! He thinks that I’m fighting over him. What do you mean not a big deal?’’ I sighed. Wait, did she say he found it cute?

‘’Wait what were you doing in the library? Now it’s your turn to spill everything,’’ I said with my brows furrowed. Chaerin was never to be found in the library.

‘’Well I was with Jea, that’s why I said she knows already. She got bad grades for that test week we had in December so she is in full study mode for that retake week and so she was in the library. I decided to join her since I had nothing better to do.’’

This information didn’t surprise me one bit. I knew that Jea would fail considering how she had done nothing for that week except meddling with Chaerin and Yongguk, which wouldn’t help her to pass. ‘’No surprise there,’’ I muttered.

‘’Anyway they were sitting on the table in front of us and I guess they hadn’t notice us. I could clearly hear them talk about you. Youngjae said something about how you wanted to talk to Soojin and how she had acted weird towards you. Then he said something about you guys yelling at each other and how Soojin accused you of doing something with Daehyun in a room-‘’’

I immediately coughed which resulted in Chaerin looking at me with big eyes before patting my back. It took a couple seconds for me to recover from all this information – and my cough.

‘’What… What did Daehyun say?’’ I asked carefully.

Chaerin wiggled her eyebrows at me which resulted in me rolling my eyes again. She will never let this go. ‘’When Youngjae finished his story Daehyun laughed and mumbled that he found it cute that you had a fight over him. And then they talked about you,’’ Chaerin eyes widened when she realized she had said that last sentence. I just raised my eyebrow at her. Now she definitely needed to elaborate.

‘’Youngjae asked what kind of relationship you guys were in and asked what Daehyun thought of you,’’ she finished in a soft, almost mumbling, voice.

I gave Chaerin this weird look. Why would she stop when the of the story was about to near?

‘’And…?’’ I trailed. It wasn’t like I desperately needed to know what he thought of me, although knowing would be nice, but she couldn’t just randomly stop with revealing the story. That wouldn’t be fair especially since I had poured my heart out to her just moment ago.

‘’He said you were a cute and cool girl, that was actually all before they talked about how he view-’’ She never finished her sentence. Instead she looked away, realizing that she shouldn’t have said the beginning of that sentence she never intended to finish. Right then I realized that she wasn’t acting like herself. I knew her well and so I knew she was hiding something from me.

If only she hadn’t thought about my underdeveloped feelings back then, I would’ve known and therefore could’ve been prepared for the ending of that unfinished sentence. It could have saved me from a lot of insecurities.

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