Chapter 35 - When you're mad

Incoming call from Jung Daehyun

I couldn’t refrain from smirking in satisfaction as I stared down at my vibrating phone. The sound of the device against the wooden table echoed throughout the entire room until it ultimately silenced – going into voicemail.

It had only been a day, but that hadn’t stopped Daehyun from trying to reach me several times already. First, through texts but now, apparently, through actual calls as well. Saying that this didn’t amuse me would be a big fat lie; it was honestly amusing the heck out of me. To the point, I came to wonder whether I wasn’t pushing it too far. Along with the satisfaction came this tiny pang of guilt and I guessed that I felt slightly bad for playing with him like I was doing. The vivid image of him attempting to throw that terrifying creature at me yesterday, soon made me forgot about that tiny feeling of guilt I had left however. I shuddered at the memory and took a quick sip of the last bit of my juice in an attempt to shake the image off. I was about to swallow the last drop of the liquid when yet another text came in. I didn’t even have to guess who it was from.

Daehyun: Aerin, please stop this. I said I’m sorry. Countless times!

Aerin: Sorry, can't talk. I'm about to start work ;)

I stored both my phone and empty bottle away and smiled in contentment as I strode out of the private back in pride. A careless glance over the big square clock told me that I was just in time for my 12 o’clock shift and I suddenly felt at ease knowing that my mind would be occupied by work rather than by Jung Daehyun – or at least, that’s what I hoped.

My hair was pulled into a messy ponytail the moment I stepped foot into the all too familiar shop and a quick glimpse around told me how fairly crowded the place already was. I clasped my hands together and coyly headed towards the counter Kyoungjae stood. He was currently handling a female customer and he did so attentively, almost making it seem as if he had no eyes for anything else. Or rather, for me.

‘’Hey Aerin,’’ he greeted absent-mindedly, thus proving me wrong, before neatly packing the customer’s purchases, a charming smile apparent on his countenance as he handed the plastic bag to the girl. The brief interaction made me recall this vague gut feeling I had regarding Kim Kyoungjae, because, somehow, I had always had the impression that he was a guy who had a way with the ladies and I found a bit of confirmation about this particular feeling as I watched the girl leave with a huge smile on her face. She wasn’t the only girl I had seen leaving the shop like this and I figured that his looks combined with his charms had everything to do with that.

‘’Hey,’’ I responded once the girl had completely turned away. I had intended for it to sound more vibrant, but I guess that the reminder of meeting him at Daehyun’s house, only five days ago, made me slightly anxious about meeting with him like this again. I prayed that he wouldn’t bring any of it up, though I figured that that prayer was most likely wishful thinking on my part. In the short time I got to work with Kyoungjae I had learned one thing and that was that he could be very curious. Moreover, straight-forward as he wasn’t afraid to ask the things he wanted to know. No matter the weight of the questions.

Fortunately he was already tending to the next customer, an elder man this time, thus not making it possible to  talk to me freely. Let alone, ask me something. I watched the queue behind the elder man become bigger by two other persons and clasped my hand together once more as I figured that it was truly time for some work to be done.

I soon found myself sauntering through the shop, trying to figure out what I could do best in order to spend the long hours as efficiently as possible. Handling customers was already being done by Kyoungjae and since we had only one cash register I couldn’t be of any help there, which was a shame because I found handling customers the nicest task of my entire job. After a fair share of contemplating between supplementing the nearly empty racks, doing some cleaning and stock counting, I settled on the first option.

And so time went by faster than expected. Before I knew it, I only had an half an hour of my shift left. I wiped the newly formed sweat of my forehead and carefully folded the last empty cardboard box into a piece small enough to be thrown away. The weather had been so warm that it had been able to infiltrate the shop even though we had air conditioning and all of this made me long for going home so that I could wear something more accustomed to the heat.

‘’So… you have a thing going on with Daehyun,’’ Kyoungjae surprised me, his words sounding more like a statement than an actual question. He soon stood next to me, looking down on me with amused eyes. In avoidance of those eyes, I looked around the shop and noticed that there weren’t as many customers around anymore, which was strange because I could have sworn that it was crowded only minutes ago. I brushed it off as me being way too absorbed in my task to even notice the customer flow, and looked up to face the four year older, and taller, male coworker. I knew that he would eventually bring this up and now that the shop was tranquil enough, he finally did. As was expected.

‘’Is that what he said?’’ I tried to avoid the question cleverly.

‘’Not with so many words,’’ he casually raised his shoulders.

‘’What does that mean?’’ I asked, rather clueless. Talking about Daehyun - and me - hadn’t been on my today’s to do list, but somehow I found myself talking about it naturally and freely. I guess that one of the reasons for this was Kyoungjae’s ability to make every issue somehow casual. An ability I envied him for.

‘’It means that he didn’t say anything about it. But you know… we figured that if you were to come over—‘’

‘’We?’’ I interrupted with raised brows. I skipped towards the counter, perhaps in an attempt to throw him off, but he followed after me nonetheless and I soon realized that I didn’t even mind. He leaned both his elbows on the beige colored counter once he had joined me behind the object and I watched his back view for a moment, shortly after deciding to follow his example, as I leaned in as well. I rested my elbows on the cool counter and brought myself to his eye level.

‘’Sanghyun and I,’’ he clarified with a grin.

‘’Ah,’’ was the only thing I could come up with to say. Great that even Daehyun’s brother, apparently, had an opinion about us. Though that was somewhat expected anyway.

‘’So do you?’’ Kyoungjae smirked good-naturedly. Perhaps even teasingly.

‘’Do I what?’’ I raised a charming eyebrow before staring at the countertop. Not sure where else to look.

‘’Do you have something going on with him?’’

‘’Is that any of your business?’’ I smirked teasingly in return, earning me an amused laugh from him.

‘’It is my business. Daehyun is the brother of my best friend and I’m naturally looking out for him. I must protect him from bad influences. Girls are dangerous you know,’’ he joked while shaking his head determinedly.

‘’Are you saying that I’m potentially bad news?’’ I joked along, honestly slightly amused by the turn of this conversation. At first I had slightly dreaded talking about this, but now it wasn’t as bad.

‘’I didn’t say that.’’

‘’But you implied,’’ I fully turned to him now and was met with his side profile, he was still slightly bended over the counter. I, on the other hand, straightened my back and was therefore met with his back view again.

‘’Okay, you win Aerin,’’ he laughed as he stood straight again as well. He dusted off his pants and yawned before watching the clock. I followed his example. Only a little time for me until I was allowed to go home, unlike him who had to close.

‘’Good,’’ I grinned satisfied. Hoping that this would close the topic. I was wrong.

‘’But seriously now,’’ he began, further proving that he wasn’t done with the subject just yet, ‘’what’s going on between the two of you?’’

I shrugged, ‘’we are friends,’’ I explained truthfully. We were just friends after all. We were friends speaking like lovers. I didn’t know what we were but I knew that we were, at least, friends. It was a safe answer. It was a truthful answer. It was an answer someone like Kyoungjae couldn’t doubt. It was an answer I often repeated in my mind; we are friends. I wasn’t the type to believe we were something more, only to have that assumption crushed later on. I wasn’t the one to get my hopes up for nothing. For me, it was easier to assume the worst. It was a defense mechanism I had built within me without even knowing so. Therefore, I would only believe that we were more than friends if Daehyun would tell me we were. Face to face. My twisted mind didn’t need anything else as proof. I only needed him to tell me.

‘’Right…’’ Kyoungjae narrowed his eyes at me. He obviously wasn’t buying this. There was nothing I could do about this however. It was the truth after all.

‘’It’s true!’’ I tried to laugh off, ‘’If you don’t believe me ask him. He’ll say the same,’’ I tried to shrug unfazed.

‘’Alright, I’ll ask him,’’ he raised his shoulders casually. It hadn’t been my intention to have him actually ask Daehyun about us. Normally, I wouldn’t think that someone would ask, despite me somewhat daring to do so. But this was Kyoungjae, and if he said he was going to ask, he was for a fact going to ask.

I shrugged as if I didn’t care. But I truly did. ‘’Fine,’’ I tried to close the topic once more.

‘’I’ll let you know what he said,’’ he smirked by now. I shook my head. Kyoungjae sure was something else. My head turned slightly to watch the rays of the sun brightly shining into our shop and I stretched my legs as I felt them becoming sour from standing in the same position and spot.

‘’Do whatever you please,’’ I laughed before absent-mindedly strolling throughout the nearly empty shop again. I came to a halt right in front of our open door and admired the outside view. The view of the sun brightly shining on the sidewalk tiles.

The view that made we want to be free of my shift.

‘’I’m home!’’ I announced loudly while excitedly kicking off my shoes. I curiously got out the phone that had beeped again, only seconds ago, even before I thought about taking off my jacket, and shook my head in amusement once I noticed who it was from. I had to, secretly, admire Daehyun for not giving up on me just yet.

Daehyun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XdzvrQmXTo

I frowned as I came to understand that the combined letters formed a link to YouTube. Nothing more, nothing less. Curiously, I got my earplugs out of my bag and plugged them into my phone, anticipating what this could be.

Clearly, the desire to open this particular link went above all logical things to do beforehand, such as undoing myself from my suffocating jacket and stepping out of my hallway. It was ironic how Daehyun was placed above it all. Especially since I had told myself to stay mad at him. I guess that it was safe to say that I wasn’t mad in the slightest, because if I had been I wouldn’t be so eager to see what he intended to show me. If I had been, I wouldn’t have spared his message a glance. Therefore I concluded that I had already forgiven him. My pride wouldn’t admit that to him all too easily though.

I read the name of a foreign artist, and his fitting song name, once the YouTube application opened. I awaited the video with raised brows, all the while wondering whether he had, somehow accidently, send something that wasn’t intended for me in the first place.

Everything made sense when the lyrics started to appear though. They were in English and despite me being somewhat okay in the subject, I couldn’t bring myself to understand all the words. But I soon found out that I didn’t have to understand everything anyway, for I did grasp the overall meaning and the catchphrases. And I guessed that they were the most important.

I’m sorry, but seeing you mad is so y.

Could it be the little wrinkle all over your nose, when you make your angry face?

Every time you scream at me, I want to kiss you.

I bit my lip in an attempt to suppress the goofy grin that attempted to paint my face. The song didn’t care about my struggles as it smoothly continued on, some parts causing my cheeks to redden. It was a good thing that I stood alone in here, because I was sure that I was looking like a smiling idiot at the moment. My jaws were literally hurting from grinning and I assumed that the sight wasn’t all too flattering. I simply couldn’t stop myself from smiling widely though. I shook my head in amusement as the song played further.

Sending me a song in a situation like this was an incredibly sweet and entertaining thing of him to do and if I hadn’t been sure about forgiving him earlier, I definitely knew that I had forgiven him now. Damn him. My plans of intending to stay mad were now unquestionably shattered.

My finger eagerly brushed against my screen’s keyboard as I tried to come up with the right response. I simply couldn’t keep quiet now, though I couldn’t exactly verbalize that I was okay with him either.

Aerin: Do you even understand what all of this means?

The response came almost immediately

Daehyun: The most important parts. Chorus mainly

Daehyun: I like the song and I thought I’d share

‘’Aerin? Is that you coming in? Come down here for a second,’’ I heard my mom call for me from the kitchen, instantly making me realize that I had stood still in this hallway for minutes. I slowly undid myself from my jacket before striding towards where my mother was, all the while carefully typing my response to Daehyun.

Aerin: I see…

Daehyun: Friends share. We are still friends right? :)

I shook my head in amusement, not being able to suppress a soft chuckle as I finally stepped into my kitchen, still very much absorbed in my phone rather than my surroundings. That was until I heard my mother squeak.

‘’There you are!’’ She called out excitedly. I finally looked up from my phone and was met with the sight of two women in the kitchen. One being my mom, the other being Chaerin’s.

‘’Hi mom,’’ I greeted sheepishly before turning to Mrs. Kim, ‘’Mrs. Kim, good afternoon,’’ I greeted politely as I bowed slightly. I placed my phone back into my jeans pocket and smiled as I took the spitting, older, version of Chaerin in. I already knew that Chaerin, and Yejin, resembled their mother, but it was as if Chaerin becoming older made it more evident than it already had been.

‘’Aerin. How are you dear?’’ She asked kindly. The sound of her gentle voice made me realize how long I haven’t actually talked to her. We were always at Jea’s now and I was rarely to be seen at Chaerin’s place. Just like both Chaerin and Jea were hardly to be seen at mine.

‘’I’m fine Mrs. Kim, just a bit tired from work. Are you doing well? Is Mr. Kim doing well? And Yejin? ’’

‘’We are doing fine as always,’’ she smiled. ‘’Especially me, since I get to eat your mother’s cake again!’’ She cheerfully responded before taking a bite from my mother’s godly creation. I laughed at the sight of her savoring the taste and nodded before walking up to our cupboards, intending to get myself something cool to drink.

‘’How was work, Rin?’’ My mother asked the moment I had gotten a hold of a cup. I closed the cupboard’s doors before turning on my heel to head for the fridge.

‘’It was alright. Same as always,’’ I shrugged before carefully glancing around, ‘’Where is dad?’’ I asked, still watching the entire room. It wasn’t like he was in here. He obviously wasn’t, but that didn’t stop me from automatically glancing around nonetheless.

‘’Out with a friend,’’ my mother replied before taking a bite from the cake laying on the small plate in front of her. I nodded and was about to excuse myself from the kitchen quietly when I took notice of the piece of cake laying on top of counter. This, of course, meant that I couldn’t leave without getting me a piece. I hummed along a song I had heard in the shop earlier and searched the drawer for the cake cutter, my lips at the thought of this delicious piece of food.

‘’Hyerin, did I already tell you that Chaerin has a boyfriend? Such a sweetheart that boy! Often picks up Yejin together with Chaerin. Really polite as well.’’ I heard Mrs. Kim announce proudly at the same time I had got a hold of the object I had been searching for. This subject immediately made my alarms go off and I knew that I needed to be out of this room quickly if I didn’t want my mother to make this conversation, somehow, about me.

‘’Really! That’s lovely. For how long?’’ My mother beamed excitedly, almost as if she was the one dating.

‘’Hmm,’’ Mrs. Kim thought out loud, ‘’I’m not really sure. Aerin do you know?’’

I almost coughed once Mrs. Kim decided to involve me in their casual let’s-talk-about-our-daughters conversation. I cleared my throat awkwardly. ‘’Uh, almost four months now I think?’’ I replied unsurely as I grabbed a plate.

‘’Four months, how lovely,’’ my mom let out a dramatically long breath. I inwardly rolled my eyes at the sound and carefully placed the piece of cake on the plate.

‘’If only Aerin would give me a son in law already,’’ she sighed again. In turn, making me choke on the air. I had been too slow. I had underestimated my mother’s ability to quickly change the person of interest and now I had to suffer the consequence of that. My mother had always been the type to talk a lot, especially with people she was close with. She was social and loved talking about anything. But especially about me.

‘’Aerin doesn’t have a boyfriend? I don’t believe it!’’ Mrs. Kim gasped as if I wasn’t even in the same room. She turned to look at me entirely and I only smiled sheepishly not really sure what to say.

‘’Or at least not that I know of,’’ my mom said as she gave me a side glance.

‘’I don’t have a boyfriend,’’ I immediately clarified before once again clearing my throat. It was the truth. The painful reality I was once again confronted with. First with Kyoungjae, now with my mother.

‘’I don’t think Aerin interacts much with the other gender,’’ my mom directed her speech to Mrs. Kim as if I wasn’t even here. I could only roll my eyes in response. How terribly wrong she was. ‘’She never brought a guy home too,’’ my mom continued to, somewhat, embarrass me without shame. She paused, taking a moment to take another bite from her cake, presenting the opportunity in which I could defend myself.

‘’Well I—‘’ I intended to speak, but to no avail.

‘’Oh no, she did! Once,’’ she said as she held up her index finger, ‘’I clearly remember that young man. What was his name again? Something along the lines of… Dae—‘’

‘’Alright, mom. That’s enough,’’ I silenced her slightly annoyed. How she still knew about Daehyun was beyond me. It was almost, if not more than, five months ago that he was in here.

‘’Well, anyway I was really surprised when Chaerin introduced him to me. He wasn’t the type I had expected her to come home with in all honestly but he is truly a wonderful young man so I’m not complaining one bit,’’ Mrs. Kim fortunately came to the rescue. I gave her a relieved smile, silently thanking her for changing the person of interest once again. She gave me this, you’re welcome, smile in return.

My mother laughed faintly, ‘’Well, isn’t that wonderful. Young love. I wish I was as young again,’’ she commented with a sigh. The sudden change of topic was the cue for me to leave and I quickly did so, my plate with the cake and my drink both occupying my hands.

I opened the door to my room with my right foot once I had climbed the stairs and carefully stepped into the familiar space, cautious about not spilling anything. Both the plate and cup were laid on my desk before I finally got to sit down on my chair. I breath out a breath of relief once I realized that I had successfully withdrawn myself from my mother’s endless I-want-a-son-in-law talks and I sighed once again as I fished my phone out of my pocket. I hadn’t responded to Daehyun yet and as cruel as I probably was I still didn’t plan on that either. I had been moved by the song, but making him sweat like this was way too much fun anyway.

And so instead, I opened one of my group chats.

Aerin: Your mom is here Chae

Aerin: And they were talking about your love life

Aerin: And because of that, mine had to be mentioned as well

Aerin: Only, mine is non-existing so I had to explain that to them

Aerin: And now I think my mother pities me, thanks ;)

Chaerin: HAHAHAHAHA, no problem sweetie

Jea: Non-existing? What about Daehyun?

Aerin: I don’t know about him. I can’t exactly grasp the ‘relationship’ we are in

Chaerin: Well, I bet he can’t grasp your complicated either

Chaerin: Perfect fit the two of you

Aerin: ha-ha

Jea: Are you still mad at him for that spider thingy?

Aerin: Honestly no

Chaerin: Jea, Aerin is a softie remember? She had probably already turned soft on him the moment she came home – some hours later

Jea: #true

Aerin: That’s not true…

Aerin: Anyway, I’m not really mad at him anymore

Aerin: …but I’m purposely ignoring him as of now

Aerin: Because I want him to sweat for what he has done

Aerin: Does that make me a bad person?

Jea: yes…

Chaerin: No definitely not!

Chaerin: I would make him work for it

Jea: Is that how you and Yongguk work?

Chaerin: Honestly… we’re not working at the moment

Chaerin: I’m having this sort of fight with him…

Aerin: A fight with Yongguk? How did you manage to do that? :\

Aerin: You guys seemed fine yesterday?

Jea: Retweet

Chaerin: Oh wow guys. Of course if we are fighting it has to be ME who is at fault

Chaerin: Thanks a bunch

Chaerin: And that's because it happened today

Aerin: That’s not what we meant

Jea: What happened?

Chaerin: I don’t know, but lately it is as if he isn’t that into me anymore. He looks unfazed with me and he even forgot about our 3 month anniversary! It’s like I always have to take action to get us to go out while he does absolutely nothing. It worries me…

Aerin: Oh God, you are that type of girlfriend?

Chaerin: No I’m not! But recently he’s gotten in contact with his ex-girlfriend again too…

Chaerin: And I hate it, I hate the though I have no real reason to

Chaerin: She’s so different from me too and that kind of worries me as well?

Jea: Different?

Chaerin: She looks like a tough girl. One that would ride motorcycles and has a bunch of tattoos. You know the type.

Chaerin: I mean… what if he turns into that again? I can’t rock leather like that! What’s more, I can’t even ride a motorcycle!

Aerin: Oh Chae…

Chaerin: No, but in all seriousness, I was a bit jealous and I tried not to show that to him, but instead I was just cropping those feelings up… and then I kind of lashed out on him because all of this…

Chaerin: And the worst thing was that he laughed and brushed it off as if it was nothing!

Chaerin: ‘’You’re crazy Chae. She doesn’t mean anything.’’

Chaerin: I swear, sometimes he’s so laid-back and chill about things he should be fussing over!

Chaerin: I just want a reaction out of him, you know

Chaerin: What if he’s already done with me and therefore doesn’t even bother?

Aerin: Chaerin… he adores you. What are you even talking about?

Jea: I agree with Aerin here, I think you are being paranoid

Aerin: I think that Yongguk is a person… to love quietly but genuinely

Aerin: So perhaps he isn’t the most romantic and active guy

Aerin: But I think he truly cares about you

Aerin: The way he looks at you sometimes. It honestly makes me envious.

Aerin: So don’t worry. And don’t chase him away

Aerin: You are so perfect together. Hwaiting!

Chaerin: You think so?

Jea: We KNOW so!

Chaerin: Hmm

Chaerin: Perhaps I overreacted… a bit…

Aerin: You did, but that's okay

Aerin: Since when does Kim Chaerin become insecure about some girl with a motorcycle?

Chaerin: Believe it or not, but I’m often insecure whenever it concerns Yongguk

Chaerin: But you guys are right… I’m going call him and say sorry later on

Jea: Please do so

Jea: You must not mess this up, in the name of BangRin

Aerin: Lol

Jea: OH YEAH, by the way guys!

Jea: Have you seen how nice the weather will be this upcoming Saturday?

Chaerin: It’s Sunday. So no, too early for me to check such things out

Jea: Yeah well, I talked with Himchan about barbecuing in our backyard that day!

Jea: Fun right?

Jea: Do you have work Aerin?

Aerin: No

Jea: YEAH! Then you’ll come right?

Chaerin: What about me? Aren’t I invited?

Aerin: I’ll come

Jea: Of course you are!

Jea: It was mandatory attendance anyway :’)

Chaerin: Good

Chaerin: So, only your brother and the three of us? or..?

Jea: You guys. And I guess Himchan’s friends

Jea: AKA your boyfriend

Jea: AKA Aerin’s soon to be boyfriend

Aerin: Soon to be boyfriend?

Chaerin: Yes, soon to be boyfriend. Because the guy definitely likes you

Aerin: I’m not sure about that

Jea: …

Chaerin: I swear, sometimes Aerin… I just want to slap you because of how clueless you are

Aerin: I’m not!

Chaerin: What does it even take for you to be convinced he likes you?

Jea: Yeah, I wonder the same thing

Aerin: If I hear him say it out of his own mouth, for example?

Jea: Alright, imagine if he kisses you… would you believe it then?

Chaerin: Lol, want to bet that Aerin is already melting into goo at the mention of her kissing with him ^^

Aerin: I’m not

Aerin: Not really…

Chaerin: Liar

Aerin: And to answer your question, Jea. I don’t know. Guys kiss girls, without genuinely liking them, all the time, right? What makes Daehyun any different? I mean isn’t kissing supposed to be fun anyway, regardless of the person?

Chaerin: *let’s out frustrated sigh*

Chaerin: I can assure you that it isn't always fun with just anybody. And I can also assure you that you feel a bigger need to kiss someboyd you actually like rather than a random stranger. Or at least, if you are sober and not .

Aerin: Lol

Aerin: Does this also apply to guys?

Jea: You are so mistrusting of the other gender Aerin… It’s a problem

Aerin: I’m not!

Aerin: But come on… apparently he screwed Yuna just for the fun of it. What is a kiss then?

Chaerin: No! No! No! We are not going to mention her, or them together, in here

Chaerin: Aerin you just need to let the thought about the two of them go

Chaerin: I’m pretty sure it doesn’t mean anything anymore

Chaerin: And you shouldn’t distrust him because of this either

Aerin: I’ll just turn off the switch that’s called rationality then

Aerin: Because it’s that easy

Chaerin: Well you have to Aerin. If you want to go somewhere with him, you have to.

Jea: Alright… why does this it feel like this chat has suddenly become way too serious?

Jea: Let’s talk about our overseas class trip of only two weeks from now!

Jea: It’s such a shame that Aerin’s class won’t go with ours Chae :(

Aerin: Please, yes let’s talk about that

Chaerin: YES!

But although the topic was shifted I couldn’t help but to let Chaerin’s words haunt me.

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