Chapter 31 - Anew

Jin let out a groan similar to mine once we realized what the announcement by our classmate Yoon Hanbyul of just now had meant. Apparently Mrs. Seo had gone home ill and therefore wouldn’t be able to lecture our next period’s class – resulting in a free period. One would’ve thought that this was a given from above - which it usually was - but not in this particular situation; it was only two days ago that Mrs. Seo had suddenly assigned an immense load of homework for the supposed class. It resulted in ungodly hours productively spend during the previous night. Hours I deeply regretted by now. My eyelids felt heavy as I observed several of my classmates groan in the same annoyance. They had probably worked just as hard as I had done to get the assignments done for today’s deadline.

That was, except for Lee Suji and a few others. They seemed rather satisfied with how things had turned out. They were grinning widely, apparently content with the fact that they wouldn’t be in trouble because they hadn’t even bothered to make the supposed deadline. Some people are just lucky. I sure wasn’t one of them, but Lee Suji most definitely was.

‘’Well.’’ Jin was the first one to address the class, breaking the silence that had lingered ever since Yoon Hanbyul had made that disappointing announcement, ‘’at least we have a free period, right? Shall we move to the canteen then?’’

At that my fellow students nodded, before a majority of our class proceeded to stroll towards the canteen to settle down just as Jin had suggested. As I walked along I noticed Soojin silently walking behind the crowd. It was a rather unusual sight. I hadn’t really seen her ‘meddling’ with our class ever since I had caught her crying in that toilet cubicle – an incident that occurred months ago. She had changed noticeably ever since then. The usual chirpy Soojin seemed gone and was instead replaced by a quiet girl who distanced herself from almost everyone. Why she did that I didn’t know exactly. She was usually quiet in class, she had lunch on her own and she was never to be seen with our class whenever we would have a free period like we were having now. This situation had been a rare exception.

I had honestly felt guilty about Soojin’s circumstances at first but, selfishly, forgot about it soon after, having my concerns regarding her placed somewhere in the faint back of my mind. Now that her poor presence was inevitably shoved in front of my face again, I was once again engulfed with the same feeling of guilt I had felt during the start of her noticeable change.

It didn’t help that she seemed to be the victim of Lee Suji’s personal wrath as well. Soojin had become her scapegoat and I wondered what she had done for her to end up so bad in the books of the one girl who could literally murder with her malicious words. Everyone knew how much of a bully and gossip girl Lee Suji could be and it didn’t go unnoticed that Soojin was now often the main person of her interest. It was probably one of the main reasons she had become so quiet in the first place.

The majority of class 2A settled themselves down on the largest table the canteen harbored, a spot far away from the spot I usually sat during lunch. I got my phone out and while doing so I noticed Soojin standing reluctantly in front of a chair, almost as if she wasn’t sure whether she should sit down with us or not.

‘’What makes you think you can join this table?’’ I heard Suji scoff daringly once Soojin had finally taken it upon herself to sit down. I looked up to watch Soojin’s reaction as I inwardly rolled my eyes at the thought of Suji acting as if she owned the table. The said girl was just so full of the power she held. She might’ve been powerful when it came to her own group of followers but she wasn’t necessarily whenever almost every one - or at least a majority - of our class were to be together like this. Yet, on the same time, a lot of people didn’t want to mess around with her either and so it suddenly turned painfully quiet as the atmosphere got noticeably tense. Soojin looked taken aback by Suji malicious question, obviously not sure what to do or how to respond.

‘’I said: what makes you think you can join this table?’’ she repeated impatiently since Soojin had failed to come up with an answer. I heard Soojin stutter a quick apology before the sound of her chair shoving against the school’s floor could be heard. She then stood up to withdraw herself from the table Suji obviously didn’t want her to sit and grabbed her bag in anticipation to leave.

Suji smirked satisfied before she shifted her attention towards her group of friends again, looking as if she had done something extraordinary. It sickened me that a few of my classmates, who happened to be friends with her, laughed at the situation as if it was totally okay for Suji to bully people like that. The other people from my class seemed somewhat clueless in what to do. This included Jin as he quickly threw me an apologetic glance. I understood what that glance had meant. People knew that this situation had been wrong, but who was willing to get his head caught off by Suji for somebody else’s sake? Nobody truly wanted trouble with Lee Suji. High school was a wild jungle in that aspect and there were only a few people brave or caring enough to stand up against someone as intimidating and malicious as her.

‘’Why are you being like this to Soojin?’’

And apparently, today, I was brave enough.

The words had left my mouth even before I could register that I had spoken them and I wanted to slap myself for meddling in something that would surely become troublesome.

Soojin who had only slung her bag around her shoulder in preparation of her leave looked at me with big doe eyes. And she sure wasn’t the only one. Jin had a similar expression on, though he seemed faintly amused as well.

‘’It has nothing to do with you Aerin,’’ Suji dismissed calmly. In a way I was lucky that Suji, at least, took a bit of a liking to me. I had never encountered problems with her before and so I guess that she wasn’t immediately out to take my head. I swallowed slowly as I tried to figure out what to say next. I initially wanted to nod and shut up but then I figured that; whenever you would say A you had to say B as well, and so I went on even though that probably wasn’t the most sensible thing to do.

‘’Why can’t she sit with us?’’ I questioned as confidently as I could.

Suji blinked a couple of times. She seemed taken aback for only a split second, after that her signature smirk appeared. ‘’Because I don’t want her to,’’ she shrugged arrogantly. Soojin stood still in her spot as I felt her eyes nervously shift from Suji towards me.

‘’Last time I checked this table wasn’t owned by you though,’’ I boldly pointed out.

‘’Excuse me?’’ Suji retorted.

‘’Aerin,’’Choi Minah came in between in an attempt to soothe - and indirectly warn - me.

I dismissed the warning and though I kept a cool act, my heart couldn’t stop beating incredibly fast. I was honestly anxious. I had never spoken up against someone. Especially not against someone like Lee Suji.

‘’I simply want to know why she can’t sit with us. There are plenty of chairs, so what’s the problem? Why don’t you sit here Soojin?’’ I spoke as I pointed towards the blue chair next me. Soojin - and the entire table - seemed genuinely surprised at my bold request. She nodded meekly before she finally gave in and sat in the chair I had just pulled out for her nonetheless. Suji seemed slightly baffled and I would be lying if I were to say that that sight didn’t somehow amuse me. I felt nervous, but I also in great control too. It was a weird feeling.

‘’Alright I see what this is,’’ Suji spoke once she seemed to have recovered. She faintly shook her head in disbelieve before she opened again: ‘’looks like someone grew a pair. I’m impressed Aerin, truly. You’re finally dropping your innocent softie act. It was about time because it was becoming quite boring.’’

This was somewhat of personal attack and though I had seen that one coming from her I still felt a bit uneasy at the way she was pointing out how I was often received as a pushover. Or at least by her and her friends.

‘’I don’t see how this got anything to do with my que—‘’

‘’It’s kind of funny though,’’ she dwelled on, totally ignoring what I was about to say, ‘’this sudden change of your character, that it. I guess it must be nice to become so cocky since you can do so because of your connections.’’

‘’Connections?’’ I repeated with a frown, not following what she was talking about.

‘’I mean who could blame you? I would surely be unstoppable whenever I would be screwing big shots like Jung Daehyun as well. That gives some serious status after all, I mean look at Yuna. You could even be the next her since you don’t have much of your own distinctive character anyway.’’

That had been a mean thing to say. I had definitely gone on Lee Suji’s nerves by now and therefore she would bring up all the foul insults her creative brain could come up with. I was left quite speechless with Suji’s bold, and calmly stated, accusations and I felt myself turning slightly red as I was completely clueless in how to respond to this. Suji didn’t give me the chance though, as she went on: ‘’I must say that I never would’ve thought of you fooling around with somebody like Daehyun. I’m sincerely impressed that you managed to do it. At first I didn’t even believe the rumors of you two getting it on during one of Jin’s parties. A rumor that, by the way, was created by the same person you’re shamelessly defending right now. But well, then I also spotted you two together in the park last week. How nice it must be to have a guy like him on your side. I’m actually jealous Park Aerin. But hey, if you can do it, anyone can. So I guess it is inspiring in a way.’’

That malicious .

I couldn’t believe how low Suji was. Her reasoning was completely off and even if it hadn’t been, what made her think that I stood up to her solely because I had connections to Daehyun? He had absolutely nothing to do with this. Why was he always being dragged into everything? His popularity was beyond me.

I balled my fist as I noticed my other classmate look at me, half in anticipation of how I were to respond and half in pity. I mentally told myself to count to three as I tried to recover from the vocal, false, attack of just now and opened my mouth to voice out something. Anything. It was never good to get silenced.

‘’Now you’re going too far Suji,’’ Jin unexpectedly spoke for me. I hadn’t expected him to defend me, I hadn’t expected anyone to speak out for me for that matter. The situation was foreign.

‘’Don’t interfere Jin,’’ Suji warned, ‘’Aerin is big girl right? She can perfectly defend herself. That she hasn’t, tells me enough though. You should’ve seen the look on her face when I caught her being lovey-dovey in that park.’’

‘’Seriously Suji it’s enough. St—‘’ Jin tried to come to the rescue.

‘’It’s okay Jin. Suji is right, I can perfectly defend myself,’’ I spoke as I grabbed my bag and slowly stood up. If I were to be in Suji’s presence for even longer than one minute I wouldn’t be able to refrain myself from choking her.

‘’Only I’m not going to. You can say and believe whatever you want about me. Feel free to do so. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re so much obsessed with how other people live their life only because you want to distract yourself from your own miserable one. I guess I pity you in that sense. Besides it shouldn’t matter to you what or who I do, but I guess it does prove how much you’re actually jealous and obsessed with me. Or anyone else for that matter.’’ That last thing was indeed a cocky, and perhaps even unnecessarily mean, thing to say but right then I didn’t even care. I threw Suji and my classmates one last glance before I walked away, trying to do so as confidently as possible. I was secretly panicking about what I might had cast upon myself, but held my head high anyway. In the brief moment I had glanced over the table I had noticed that Suji wasn’t as taken aback as I had initially expected her to be. Instead she had only watched me cockily, further proving that she wasn’t as easily fazed.

‘’Aerin wait! Wait a moment!’’ I heard Soojin breathe only a minute after I had walked away. Judging from the way I heard her panting she had tried her best to catch up to me. A cooling breeze blew through my hair as I turned around to face her. She seemed on the verge of tears. Just like she had looked back then.

‘’I’m so so sorry Aerin. I really am, I’m so stupid and now you were treated like that because of me and I’m so sorry. I never meant for that to happen. You have to believe me. I di—‘’

‘’I know,’’ I interrupted as I casually sat myself down on the bench in our school’s garden. I didn’t even know how or why I ended up here but there was something soothing about the sight of the green blooming garden. From up here I could see my usual lunch break spot. Luckily I couldn’t see the spot where I just sat with my classmates. I wasn’t up to seeing Suji right now. Only the mere thought of her made me want to punch any innocent passerby –even though I wasn’t much of fighter.

Soojin reluctantly sat down beside me and it was completely silent for about five minutes. I didn’t mind the silence but I sensed that Soojin felt uncomfortable with it. She seemed eager to say something, but she probably didn’t know how to begin.

‘’Thank you Aerin,’’ she eventually worded, ‘’I have been nothing but burdensome to you and you’re only nice to me in return. I- I really screwed up and I’m truly sorry. I want you to know that nothing Suji said was true and—‘’

‘’Don’t even mention the ,’’ I joked as I tried to tuck my hair behind my ears. The wind was blowing quite heavily by now, causing all of my hair to, annoyingly, fly in front of my face.

‘’Are you mad at me?’’

‘’I was never mad at you Soojin. I thought I made that clear a couple of months ago. You were just so distant and quiet after that, I simply didn’t assume you wanted to get involved with me and so I stayed away as well. But no I’m not mad. Not about you spreading that rumor about me and not for supposedly bringing me into this mess with Suji—‘’

‘’I didn’t spread that rumor like that! I only told Suji that I saw the two of you leave a room. That’s it. She drew her own conclusions from that. I, honestly, came up with the same conclusion, but I didn’t share that with her! I only told her what I saw because I wanted a juicy story that would impress her. I’m so sorry for that Aerin. It’s so stupid that I tried to impress her by gossiping about others.’’ Soojin reluctantly looked up to me as she continued: ‘’I really admire you Aerin. You stood up to her. You stood up for me and that’s something I never dared to. These past months she has been saying really mean stuff about me and I just let her because I didn’t dare to get on her bad side.’’

‘’How did you even get on that side in the first place? Weren’t you friends?’’ I questioned curiously.

‘’I thought we were friends, but apparently she never liked me. One day I overheard them talking badly about me and I felt so hurt. I… then said some pretty nasty things about her in return and she didn’t take that all too well.’’

‘’That’s pretty hypocrite,’’ I pointed out with a scoff. Soojin simply nodded before there fell yet another silence over us.

‘’I’m really sorry Aerin. You were always the nicest to me and I really took that for granted. I’m really sorry about that,’’ she apologized for the nth time,’’ from now on, I’ll just be myself. I always felt the need to be cool and impress other people but I realize that I don’t have to do that. I honestly envy you for having great friends, it isn’t easy you know. To befriend someone who truly appreciates you for you.’’

I nodded as I found confirmation in Soojin’s words. It indeed wasn’t easy to find friends you could trust entirely. I could consider myself lucky with both Chaerin and Jea and I somehow understood why Soojin had tried so hard to impress people in a way of making friends.

‘’Alright, let’s start anew,’’ I suggested after yet another minute of silence in which I tried to tie my hair in a ponytail. A ponytail that was completely messy.  

‘’Huh?’’

‘’Let’s act as if nothing has happened. Let’s forget about it. I’m done with the drama Soojin. I’m not a drama queen, I believe you aren’t either. It’s just so stupid to fight over… nothing basically.’’

‘’You don’t have to involve yourself with me out of pity Aerin, I’ll be fine. Truly, I’m happy that you aren’t mad at me and—‘’

‘’It’s not out of pity Soojin,’’ I clarified half truthfully. Perhaps I had slightly pitied her, but that didn’t change the fact that I wanted things to become right for her – and me. There was a time in which I genuinely enjoyed having Soojin as a friend.  

I noticed the end of her lips curl up as she faintly nodded, ‘’Alright, starting anew sounds pretty good.’’

Daehyun: Come over

I felt myself turning hot as I read his random message. What in the world? Was he perhaps watching me from the schools square? Attempting to be funny as he would read my flustered expression? I looked around to find confirmation to my theory, but didn’t see him anywhere near. And then I realized that his class had the last period off. Jea announced that she had the last period off after all and that meant Daehyun had been free as well.

Aerin: What?

Daehyun: Come see me

One thing I was sure of by now: Jung Daehyun wasn’t a guy to be understood easily. I realized that as I absent-mindedly walked along Chaerin as were about to head home, totally absorbed in this unexpected chat – and invite. What had suddenly gotten into him?

Aerin: What?

Daehyun: Are you feeling grumpy?

I was completely confused with Daehyun right now. I was about to answer his question negatively until the image of Suji’s face came to mind. The incident of just earlier today had made me somewhat displeased and so I decided to answer him in honesty.

Aerin: A bit

Daehyun: Why aren’t you calling me then?

Aerin: You’re confusing me here Daehyun

Daehyun: I told you to call me whenever you would feel grumpy. Then you would come over to my place and then I would cook for you. Remember?

I was about to ask if he were serious but my phone was suddenly grabbed out of my grip and I watched an impatient Chaerin looking at me as if I had insulted her. ‘’God you’re not even listening to me! Who has got your attention, huh?’’ Chaerin scoffed as I noticed her thumb cheekily move over my phone’s touchscreen.

‘’Chaerin don’t!’’ I exclaimed half embarrassed as I tried to retrieve my phone – in complete vain.

‘’Oh my god. I knew it was Jung Daehyun. You are always completely out of the world whenever you chat with him,’’ she wiggled her eyebrows before I noticed her reading my conversation with him as if her actions weren’t a serious case of breaking someone’s privacy, ‘’he wants to see you! What are you still standing here for? Do you even like the guy? This is a chance Aerin. A CHANCE!’’ Chaerin scolded as she handed my phone back in disbelieve. It was truly annoying to have a best friend who found it acceptable to read through the conversations with the guy I happened to crush on. Chaerin nearly cared about that annoyance though. I placed my phone back into my pocket, not really intending to answer Daehyun right away.

‘’I’m not going,’’ I stated. My pride was getting the upper hand again and I simply couldn’t see myself going over to him. Even though I secretly really wanted to. It was Tuesday after all and my mom wouldn’t even be home since she would have the bakery club. I would be alone, expected to cook my own meal. A meal that wouldn’t be as good as my moms. A meal that perhaps wouldn't be as good as Daehyun’s.

‘’Why?’’ Chaerin inquired with narrowed eyes.

‘’Because our last class has just ended and I’m going home and—’’

‘’And what? Lie in your bed thinking about him instead of actually being with him? Where is the logic in that? And by the way I already said yes to him so there isn’t much of a choice anyway,’’ Chaerin casually pointed out. I watched her in complete shock before I quickly opened the KakaoTalk conversation to see whether she was lying. But she wasn’t, she had responded to him in that brief moment she had my phone.

Aerin: I do remember

Aerin: You’ll better have the food ready for when I arrive

Aerin: I need your address though

‘’No, no, no! I freaking hate you,’’ I cried in desperation as I let out the longest sigh ever.

Chaerin started to grin victoriously.

‘’You’re welcome.’’

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