Chapter 11 - Girl talk

‘’Tell us!’’ Jea yelled excitedly when we stood in Chaerin’s hallway. After Chaerin had offered to go home we returned to the group and bade them goodbye. Daehyun and Yuna hadn’t been with them anymore. The group had been disappointed with us leaving early since, apparently, they were having fun chatting with both Jea and Chaerin. We left nonetheless. Chaerin had said she was feeling really dizzy all of a sudden, which I was thankful for. If she were to say we would leave because I wanted to, they probably would think of me as someone who liked to ruin the fun. I felt guilty for ruining their fun but felt miserable myself too so I hadn’t cared that much.

‘’Can you calm it down? People are sleeping here,’’ Chaerin whispered.

We quietly made our way upstairs. The matrasses were already laying on the floor and they were already made up. Mrs. Kim was a sweetheart.

‘’I love you mom,’’ Chaerin said with a wide smile before putting her heels in her closet. Both Jea and I walked to bathroom to remove our make-up and brush our teeth. Chaerin followed shortly after. We got ourselves in our pajamas and dropped ourselves on the mattresses, except for Chaerin who laid on her own bed of course. There was this long silence before Jea couldn’t take it anymore.

‘’Tell us!’’ She half yelled again. Chaerin just gave her this stern look, indicating she needed to be quiet.

‘’There is nothing to tell,’’ she shrugged finally. She said it simply, like it was quite normal what we had seen some moments ago. It wasn’t.

Jea and I both rolled our eyes. ‘’Are you kidding me, we saw that kiss!’’ Jea squealed.

When we were about to leave the party Yongguk had stopped Chaerin before giving her a kiss on her cheek, leaving all of us completely shocked. Chaerin the most. It was very sweet though.

I saw Chaerin smile widely. She didn’t answer, she only smiled.

‘’How did you do it?’’ I asked, genuinely curious. It was only two weeks ago that she confessed that she liked him - to us - and here she was, all pecked on the cheek. How was it even possible? It was a talent, really. A talent I didn’t possess.

‘’I… I just, talked to him. And we clicked,’’ she answered. I wondered if things were really that simple as she made it seem by saying that. You can’t just randomly talk to a mere strangers you happen to like can you? I mean what do you talk about even?

‘’What did you guys talk about?’’ Jea asked before I could.

Chaerin rolled her eyes. ‘’My god, you guys really want to know everything,’’ She replied while emphasizing on the word everything.

‘’That’s because your life is interesting, ours isn’t,’’ Jea stated. I wondered how Jea would know if my life was interesting or not. She was right though, my life wasn’t as sparkly as Chaerin’s. I didn’t have somebody I liked, returning my feelings. Heck I didn’t even have feelings for somebody. Somehow I felt a little disappointed because of that. I guess you just come to that age where you want to experience things too, romantic things like in the movies.

‘’Really? I think Aerin’s life is pretty interesting. I mean hanging out all alone at a party like Seokjin’s for a whole hour must bring some refreshing new things to life,’’ Chaerin mocked. I stiffened. She knew, she knew that I had been lying and that I couldn’t possibly been alone all that time since I hated being alone. She knew that if I were truly alone I would have searched for them and I would’ve found them sooner. I didn’t, I stayed away for more than an hour. She knew me way too well.

‘’That’s not the point! You’re avoiding the subject!’’ Jea whispered, this time taking the household into consideration. I was glad she wasn’t fooled by Chaerin’s way of changing the subject, Chaerin was very good at that.

‘’Alright, Alright! I’ll tell you guys every freaking little detail, satisfied?’’ She said firmly. After that she smiled a wide smile so we knew for a fact that she actually liked talking about him – and herself.

And so we talked the whole night. Or Chaerin did – again. She started at the beginning, the soccer game where she became intrigued by Yongguk. According to Chaerin that’s the first step in the progress of developing feelings: getting intrigued by someone. Yongguk had sparkled an interest in her somehow. While she was talking about that feeling of interest, Daehyun randomly popped up in my mind. I shrugged it off however.

She seemed to have this whole theory about the progress of falling in love and how it developed which she eagerly shared with us. The second step - after getting intrigued - would be to actually getting to know his personality a bit and becoming charmed by that. In that phase you’re at the point where you start to grow more self-conscious because you want to leave a good impression on him even though you don’t actually know that yet. After that comes the third step: actually liking the guy. You will feel nervous around him and start to wonder about him often, for no particular reason. Whenever he’s been brought up into everyday conversations somehow you’re actually more active in the conversation and so on. The fourth step is falling in love, according to Chaerin you’re in that stage were you’re desperate for interaction with him and he’s filling your thoughts constantly even more than in step three. You start to picture your future with him and that future concludes marrying and having kids. The fifth, last and most dangerous step would be the step of being blinded by love. It’s to the part where you would do anything for him even if it’s going to hurt you and others. It’s to the point where you have no morals anymore when it comes to him. According to Chaerin that stage could be unhealthy and could make you do things you never held possible yourself. It’s almost over-obsessive and it’s a stage you don’t want to get into. It’s a bonus stage, she theorized.

Chaerin was in stage three now, as she had stated. She actually liked Yongguk. Her theory wasn’t solid of course, everyone could sense that, but according to Chaerin it was pretty accurate. I wouldn’t know, honestly. 

Starting from the interested Chaerin had gained, step one, she decided to ‘take action’. She had thanked him for sticking up for him and started to talk to him whenever they would pass each other in school. His locker was actually nearby Chaerin’s so she would see him often. That night of the slumber party Chaerin had mostly talked about what she liked about Yongguk but not how she actually got to know him, so this was quite new for both Jea and I.

Chaerin had found out that he had this same passion for art as she had when she eyed his locker once. She mostly liked photographed art, Yongguk liked almost everything. It wasn’t really difficult to come up with a conversation topic since they both passionately liked the same thing and could talk about it for hours and so they did – on Facebook chat. They naturally got used to talking to each other and from there they started to talk about more daily basis stuff like family, friends and school. Chaerin had already known that Yongguk often hung out with Himchan. She already knew that the group of friends often would stay over at Himchan’s, or Daehyun’s, because he had told her so.

On that day of the slumber party, I had mentioned that Himchan’s friends were downstairs which is why Chaerin wanted to go downstairs and even took off her legging to show some legs. Now I understood why she wouldn’t accompany me to the store. She wanted to be around him.

According to Chaerin they would flirt a little whenever they talked to each other. So they both knew there was this certain, romantic, interest both of them had. Chaerin was surprised however that he had given her a kiss, in public, in front her friends, his friends.

’’He had drunk a little, but not much so… I’m not blaming it on the alcohol. But it was unexpected,’’ Chaerin finished.

‘’Pleasantly unexpected,’’ Jea said, her smug smile appearing again. I tried to hold in my laughter since we were supposed to be quiet.

Chaerin threw her pillow at Jea. ‘’Shut up with that annoying smile of yours.’’

Jea sighed. ‘’I’m jealous. I want to like somebody too!’’ She said while shifting her position. She was now lying on her stomach, her hands underneath her head supporting it.

‘’You will soon or eventually,’’ Chaerin assured. Jea only sighed again. We were silent all of a sudden. We were tired after all. Chaerin did not let her fatigue stop her from interrogating me, it just wasn’t in her nature to let me go that easily.

‘’So…’’ She began, ‘’Aerin what were you doing in that hour.’’ I grabbed my pillow and put it in front of my face. She just couldn’t let go.

‘’I was with Jung Daehyun actually,’’ I muttered into the pillow. Maybe they wouldn’t hear me.

‘’Wait… what?’’ Jea and Chaerin gasped in unison. Of course they would hear.

 ‘’What were you doing with him?’’ Jea asked surprised. Chaerin looked amused and pained at the same time, like she was happy but something was bothering her. It was an expression I’ve learned about through our many years of friendship.

‘’Making out,’’ I joked, my pillow still on my face. I was embarrassed for some reason, even though I was joking. The thought of me making out with Jung Daehyun was surreal, especially now. They both looked at me with big eyes. They definitely looked like they were at a loss of words. They wouldn’t expect me to make out with some guy I barely knew because that wasn’t like me at all. Everybody thought I was miss goody two-shoes, which I was. A little bit.

Chaerin recovered first. ’’Was he good?’’ She asked. I found it funny that his kissing skill was the first thing she thought about. I removed the pillow that lay on top of my face and sat straight. I looked at her with narrowed eyes.

‘’What? I heard he is a good kisser I just wanted to know if it’s true,’’ she simply shrugged. He was a good kisser?

‘’Who told you that?’’ Jea asked. I wanted to know as well, for some reason. Some reason I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

‘’Yuna.’’ Chaerin answered.

I didn’t take Choi Yuna to be the type of person to spread around that she had been making out with Jung Daehyun. Then again I barely knew her and we only chatted about superficial things if we would even talk.

‘’She had told me that when we were working on our assignment some days ago. We talked about parties and boys and stuff since the assignment was as good as done. She just randomly brought it up,’’ Chaerin finished.

I raised an eyebrow. I didn’t want to judge Choi Yuna because I didn’t really know her but I couldn’t help but to feel a little weird with this piece of information. Why would she tell such things to Chaerin? Then again, Choi Yuna was a chatterbox even I had noticed that much. I just didn’t take her to be the type to chat about things this personal.

Jea looked surprised. It was funny how the attention wasn’t on me and my pretended make out session anymore, it was on Choi Yuna. I thought they were eager to know more about me but I guess Yuna was way more interesting and somehow that bothered me even though this whole thing had been a joke to begin with. I stayed quiet while Chaerin shared what Yuna had shared with her a few days ago.

Apparently she and Daehyun had a history. This time it wasn’t just a rumor because Chaerin had heard all of it from Yuna herself. According to Yuna she had met Daehyun through her job. She worked at the restaurant of his parents and had worked there for quite some time.  I recalled her saying something like that to me earlier too. Yuna was naturally charmed by him and persuade him. He however wasn’t really serious and had just been playing around.

‘’He cheated?’’ Jea asked, her eyes wide like saucers. She couldn’t believe he would be this kind of person. Honestly I couldn’t believe it myself either. He had acted like a jerk towards me, sure, but he was nice and charming overall. But maybe that was just it, maybe that charm had been the cause of it all.

‘’No!’’ Chaerin almost yelled. ‘’Gosh, you guys are completely misinterpreting the situation.’’

‘’Maybe that’s because you’re not being clear enough.’’ I said with a fake smile. I was getting annoyed. Why? I didn’t know.

She rolled her eyes before she continued: ‘’It’s not like he cheated or something. They were never officially dating. It’s just that he never wanted to get serious with her. He did want the benefits of a relationship such as skin ship, making out and… more.’’ I raised an eyebrow, more? Did that mean that they-

‘’So basically they’re friends with benefits?’’ Jea interrupted my thoughts.

‘’Something like that. Not really anymore though. She felt like he was getting tired of her,’’ Chaerin shrugged. I instantly felt bad for Yuna. Most girls wanted a serious relationship with the one they liked, so it must be hard to accept this much from him without officially being with him. I would’ve never thought that Jung Daehyun was like this, but apparently I was fooled. Both Jea and I were quiet for some time, letting the information about Daehyun sink in.

‘’So… how was he?’’ Chaerin asked again with this certain smirk of her. She must’ve known that I was joking all along, or at least she had hoped so because I would surely feel used and dirty now with this piece of information.

‘’I was obviously joking,’’ I replied while rolling my eyes. ‘’Am I the type to make out with someone I barely know?’’

‘’But you do know him… and well maybe, with some alcohol in the system,’’ Jea muttered.

‘’No, I would never do that,’’ I replied immediately.

The truth, however, is that it’s easy to say that things won’t happen because you think it’s not in your nature to do so. People’s nature change though and so do the actions that come with that nature.  But right now, I was sure I would never do such a thing. Both Jea and Chaerin gazed at me before they both nodded, concluding for themselves that it was indeed not in my nature to make out with a random guy. Though Daehyun wasn’t actually a random guy anymore.

‘’What were you doing with him then?’’ Jea asked. This girl always wanted to know everything and now I understood why Chaerin would find us annoying for our curiosity sometimes. We were always all up in her business with our questions.

‘’Just… hanging out. Talking,’’ I answered carefully. Surprisingly Jea didn’t ask any further. Maybe she figured I wasn’t comfortable with talking about myself much or she was just tired, probably the latter since she kept yawing and she didn’t really care about embarrassment since she would always ask every detail anyway. She only nodded, began to lie on her side and closed her eyes. I looked at Chaerin. She nodded too before a yawn escaped . The subject was closed.

I saw her hand reach for the light switch on her nightstand. She turned the light off which resulted in a pitch-black room. I turned around for what felt like hours, not being able to sleep yet when I saw a bright light all of sudden. It was Chaerin, she was busy on her phone probably texting Yongguk since she was giggling. It’s the last thing I remember before finally falling asleep.

‘’Aerinnn!’’ I heard someone whisper right next to me. I opened my eyes and met with a beaming Yejin. She nudged me before sitting right in front of me on the matrass.

‘’Aerin is always a sleepyhead!’’ She said, still beaming. I sat up after stretching and noticed both Jea and Chaerin weren’t in the room. I was always the one to wake up the latest.

‘’Goodmorning Yejin! Where is everyone?’’ I asked in my kid voice. It was the voice one pitch higher than the usual, the little kid voice.

Yejin didn’t say anything but took my hand instead and led me downstairs. Jea and Chaerin were both sitting at the kitchen table, eating cereal. I joined them and so did Yejin. She happily chatted about what she was going to do today. Which was drawing and drawing and probably drawing after that too. She could talk about it for hours since she would explain, in detail, what she would draw. Chaerin rolled her eyes and wasn’t even listening to her little sister anymore. Both Jea and I listened carefully though. 

‘’Alright enough,’’ Mrs Kim had interrupted Yejin and her monotone drawing talk. ‘’Let the girls be alone, yes Yejin?’’ She asked in a sweet voice. Yejin seemed disappointed but nodded nonetheless and went along with her mother. I chuckled, she was so adorable.

‘’Finally,’’ Chaerin sighed in relief. I guess it was a sister thing. If for example Yejin would’ve been my little sister I would’ve behaved the same way Chaerin did right now.

‘’So what are we going to do today?’’ Jea asked while taking a bite of her breakfast, or lunch rather.

‘’I’m actually going home, I have a lot of assignments this week,’’ I answered.

‘’Yea right, you’re just using that as an excuse to rot in your bed while watching anime,’’ Chaerin said with narrowed eyes. She was partly right: I would do my assignments as quick as possible so I had my alone time. Chaerin didn’t need to know that she was right though.

‘’Is it your class’ turn for the duo assignment?’’ Jea asked.

‘’No not until next month, we have to pick a partner on the 15^th of January,’’ I answered.

‘’You should do the assignment with Youngjae,’’ She remarked all of a sudden, taking me by surprise. He was the only person in my class I’ve never really spoken to, he didn’t really mind me and I had done the same. It was quite weird since he had been my classmate for more than one year by now. Which reminded me that, after this school year, we only had one more year to go. We would be in our last year and it would mean we were to make life changing decisions such a university choices and so. Luckily that wasn’t any time soon.

I frowned before asking her why I would possibly team up with Youngjae. She just shrugged: ‘’He is smart and he said you were too, so it would mean a high mark.’’ He talked about me?

‘’When did he say that?’’ I asked genuinely curious. Why would they suddenly talk about me?

Jea looked at the ceiling which meant she was thinking, it was this habit of hers. Chaerin wasn’t really interested in this subject apparently since she just ate her cereal in silence while doing texting away on her phone.

‘’It was a week ago, I guess,’’ she said finally. I gave her this certain look with my eyes slightly narrowed which meant she had to explain further.

‘’The guys were downstairs playing videogames and… I don’t really remember how the subject averted to you actually,’’ she said her eyes still on the ceiling. ‘’Nope I forgot,’’ she finished. I rolled my eyes, how I hated this. I was curious and nervous all at once, why would they talk about me? Then I figured I was probably overthinking. Sometimes you would just naturally talk about people for some reason. Like we had done with Yuna for example. I must not look much into this and so I had shrugged of that Himchan’s friends and Jea had talked about me apparently.

I had watched all the latest anime and drama episodes I had missed when my phone buzzed. I got home hours ago and was lying comfortably on my bed. It was Soojin who caused the buzz and as usual she would ask for homework. She was a day to early though since it was Saturday. I hadn’t done the homework yet even though I had told Jea and Chaerin I would. It wasn’t like I had lied to them since I was planning to do it at first, but somehow I changed the plan which hadn’t been my intention at all. I guess that’s the way it goes with homework.

Aerin: I haven't done anything yet

Aerin: You’re a day too early

Soojin: Oh

Soojin: I thought you were an early bird when it came to what needed to be done

Aerin: Not today

Aerin: I need all the rest I could get

Soojin: Still exhausted from the party?

Aerin: I guess

Aerin: I haven’t seen you, by the way

Soojin: I did see you

Aerin: You did?

Soojin: I saw you with Jung Daehyun

I didn’t know what to reply towards that statement. But she beat me to it already.

Soojin: You lied

Soojin: You’re obviously friends with him to say the least

Soojin: I’m going to do the homework, later

I frowned at her messages. The advantages of texting are clear but so are the disadvantages. Because she was texting I couldn’t see her expression. And because I couldn’t see her expression I couldn’t really tell what was going on with her comment. What I did know, was that Kwon Soojin was the type of girl to always use emotions while texting. Now she didn’t.

Could Soojin be mad at me?