‘Do you remember the story of our first kiss?’

 Kai remember he asked Suzy.

‘We were each other's. We were like eight.’ Suzy answered. 'You asked what was the kiss taste like and I asked me to kiss me.'

'You tasted like ice-cream.'

'That's because at that time we were eating ice-cream.'

Flashbacks started to pop into his mind. Images of her bright smile, her glowing eyes…

“You were my first kiss, Suzy. And I never kiss anyone else besides you.” Kai muttered.

He has never been able to picture himself kissing someone else. And he would never imagine how other boys would kiss Suzy. He couldn’t imagine ever finding anyone who loved her like he did. But today, he witnessed the kiss between Suzy and Luhan. Watching them kissing before his own eyes… it was eating him up and on the inside. Suddenly he was numb all over and the feeling, for once, was real.

What the hell, what the hell, what the hell. She's…   is she? Kai swallowed.

Is she . . . ?

Kai clamped the thought down hard. He let go of a breath he seemed to be holding. She’s angry and he can’t blame her. She was hurt, and he knows that this was entirely his fault. 

He was at fault that Luhan had a chance to kiss Suzy. He’s the one who’s created the hole for Luhan to slip in into Suzy’s broken heart. If not because of Eunjung….

Damn you Lee Eunjung!!

The world had drained Kim Jongin today. Actually, the past few days had been hard. He has been standing by his window for the longest time staring across the yard. He was frustrated when he saw no sign of movement in her room.

He had to physically restrain himself from knocking on Bae’s front door. It wasn’t unusual, nor particularly strange that Kai want to see Suzy during night, he always stayed up in her room until midnight doing their homework, but he felt rather embarrassed about whole thing even he knew her parents doesn’t know anything yet.

YET.

He picked up his phone and dialed her number. He drummed his fingers on his study desk as he held the phone to his ear. He listened to it ring twice, three times, then her voicemail. He didn’t leave a message this time, just simply pressed End and put the phone on his desk. He didn’t remember how many times already he sent text messages to her but got no reply from her. His thumb and forefinger squeezed the bridge of his nose. He reached for his phone and dialed her number one last time. Again, he got her voicemail, this time leaving a message, “Suzy, I need to talk to you, I need to hear your voice. You don’t have to see me but please call me. I need to know that you’re okay.”

He looked at the wall clock; it showed almost nine o’clock at night. He decided to take a hot shower and after fifteen minutes, he emerged from the shower, wrapping the towel around his waist. He checked on his cellphone hoping to see a reply from Suzy but there’s none. He collapsed onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling.

There's a knock on his door, lazily he walked up to the door and opened it, and his umma was standing there.

"Kai, get dress and come with umma now. Appa's poor car doesn’t want to start. Must be the battery. Let's go for a rescue." She chuckled.

Kai laugh a little. "Okay let's go then. Give me five and I meet you downstairs."

"Uh… by the way, what happen to your lips?" She asked while giving him a worried look.

Kai put up a hand to his lips. "Uh... I got hit by a ball while playing basketball at school."

His umma just smile at him. "Let's go now then later we’ll stop by at our favorite tteokbokki shop."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Few hours later Kai was back in his room and for some reason, he didn't feel tired at all. The ticking of the clock sounded in his room. Standing by his bedroom window, he stared at Suzy's room, wondering if she still awake.

 ‘Stay away from her. Don’t even dare to utter Suzy’s name in your dirty mouth again.’

Kai found himself bitterly and pathetically jealous to Luhan. His heart was instantly pounding. He closed his eyes and tried to squash the anger rising in him. He clenched his teeth and emitted a sound akin to both a growl and a groan.

Oh with everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suzy was lying in her bed, her arms crossed over her stomach. Staring up at the ceiling, she breathed deeply, trying not to think about everything that had happened… everything that was going to happen now that it was all over.

She sighed, "What is happening to me?"

‘Suzy, you have me.”  Luhan whispered at her right ear. ‘If you let me, I’ll make you forget.’

Tenderly, Luhan raised his hand to her chin and lifted it, then lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on her lips. He pulled back after just a moment and gazed into her eyes. She watched him, frozen, as his lips captured hers again.

His lips forced hers open, and she could feel his hot breath in . Her brain was disconnected from her body, and she closed her eyes as she was kissing him back.

‘I love you, Suzy.’ Kai words echoed in her mind.

Suzy eyes shot open and she put her hands on his chest and pushed him lightly. "Luhan, s…stop."

Luhan gave a happy sigh when he pulled his lips away from hers. "You're sweet." Stunning Suzy into silence as he shook his head. "I didn't know what's gotten into me but I know that I always wanted to kiss you."

Suzy didn’t know how to respond. There was a question she tried not to ask because she knew there was an answer. She just stared at him. He was more of a grown-up then she’d ever given him credit for. "I'm sorry Luhan. I can't do this. You're my cousin."

Staring deeply in her eyes, a comforting smile appearing on his face. "Suzy listen..."

The air was freezing against her face. "I want to go home."

Suzy still couldn't stop thinking about what had happen today. The day she found out Kai was cheating on her, she let Luhan kissed her.

Why? 

For revenge?

Was she?

She touched her lips furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She threw her head back, letting out a loud noise of frustration. “Am I now becoming one of the s like Eunjung is?” She bit her lower lip. 

Her feeling was horrible. She let out a deep sigh. She turned off the room lights and closed her eyes. She kept turning and tossing in her bed. As much as she willed herself to sleep, sleep would not come.

She longed for the simple times, for the days before everything went wrong. She tried to fight it with all she had, but some days it was just too hard. She was still so much awake when she heard light knocking on her balcony door. She her bedside lamp and went to the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The clock on the wall is ticking softly. The rest of the room is completely silent.

Kai was pacing inside his room like an insane person. When he arrived back home after fetched his appa and dinner, he saw Suzy's room already dark. He needs to see her. He figured at this late hour she’d be sleeping or at least in her room.

The next thing he knew he was quietly climbed the drain pipe up to her balcony, careful not to make any noise. Once he got onto the platform, outside of her door, Kai stood, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He’d been standing there for the last five minutes trying to build up the courage to knock. He had no idea why it was suddenly so difficult, why he was suddenly so nervous. Running a hand through his hair he reached out and knocked twice.

There was no response.

He lightly knocked again on the glass door for times before the room was dimply lightened and that beautiful face came into view. Even though the lighting isn’t that great, the sight relaxed him a bit.  She wasn’t shocked to see him there. She just stood there and still.

“Please. Open. The.  Door.”  Suzy reads his lips movement.

Suzy unlocked and opened the glass door slightly. “What were you thinking?” She crossed her arms, looking unimpressed.

Kai looked at her with those black eyes that could burn her soul down. Clearing his throat, he his lips before answering. “You.” Suzy shivered slightly after hearing his voice but didn’t let him see tha