No one was speaking. Wasn’t that the whole pint of this, though? To speak; to get everything out in the open.

“So,” Youngjae said, breaking the silence that had been drowning them. “Talk to me. Explain to me why you’re so against my happiness.”

“We’re not against you, Youngjae. Please, try to understand that we did this for your own safety!” Sun Hwa desperately tried to make Youngjae see that she and Jaeho wanted him to lead a happy, normal life.

“Well I don’t’ understand!” Youngjae snapped, resisting the urge to leave, to run away back to Daehyun’s house and act like everything went well with his parents. “What could possibly be so bad that I’m not allowed to love who I want?”

Jaeho and Sunhwa shared a sad yet knowing glance. Reaching out, Sunhwa grasped Jaeho’s hand tightly. Jaeho’s eyes scanned Sunhwa’s face.

He needs to know. Jaeho said it without really saying anything. Sunhwa bit her lower lip and nodded.

This is something no parent should ever have to do; ruin their child’s life with the truth, tell them that they’re essentially a freak of nature, that they’ll never be normal.

“Youngjae, before I tell you this just remember that we love you, no matter what,” his father said. That was the first thing that sent Youngjae’s stomach plummeting and his nerves skyrocketing. What could they say to suggest they wouldn’t love Youngjae anymore? His father heaved another deep sigh. “When you were born, you were, I guess, special. You were a rare anomaly; the doctors at the hospital had only seen three before you in twenty years.”

What was it? What was wrong with him? Subconsciously, Youngjae’s arms came to wrap around himself and he hunched over a little, as though he was trying to shield himself from something unknown.

It was the day after the conversation that turned his world upside down and Youngjae was in his room. He was sitting on the floor against the wall opposite the door, knees being hugged tight to his chest. He hadn’t left his room since the previous afternoon, save for getting a glass of water early that morning (his throat was dry from sobbing so much) only to retreat back to his room.

He was a freak. He had never felt like he fit in with the rest of the school, but he never felt like he was an outcast either. Now, he knew he could never be normal.

“Youngjae, you have both male and female reproductive organs,” Sunhwa said, finally laying it out straight for her son. “We could’ve chosen for you to have surgery when you were a baby, but your father and I thought it was too risky; there was a chance they couldn’t even remove the female organs without you becoming infertile, or even dying. It was our choice, Youngjae; if you want to be mad then be mad at us but know that we couldn’t risk losing you!”

Youngjae took a moment to take in this new information. Something bubbled in the pit of Youngjae’s gut, deep down inside of him. The feeling got stronger and stronger, like lava in a volcano until it erupted in the form of a loud, incredulous laugh. His parents looked at their child with worry; he was laughing. Tears started to form in his eyes, but even Youngjae himself wasn’t sure whether that was because he was laughing so much or the fact that he was interual had just hit him.

“So,” Youngjae said, still laughing, and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Am I still gay if I'm not even completely male?”

He continued to laugh hysterically, successfully scaring the life out of his parents. No one could tell if it was a gradual thing, but at some point Youngjae’s laughter became broken sobs. The teen rested his elbows on his knees and let his head fall into his hands as his body shook with each weep. Sunhwa and Jaeho scrambled over to Youngjae, his father laid a hand on his shoulder while Sunhwa knelt on the floor with her arms around her son.

Youngjae rubbed a hand down his face in exhaustion. He had to admit that he preferred thinking his parents were homophobic. Youngjae had come to learn the hard way that the truth isn’t always the best option.

How could he tell Junhong and Himchan about this? How could he tell Daehyun?

He couldn’t. Knowing this would only ruin Dae’s life, and Youngjae couldn’t do that to the boy he loved so dearly. Youngjae couldn’t be the reason for Daehyun’s sadness. He couldn’t tell him the truth either though, he couldn’t take Daehyun thinking of him as a freak too; he hated himself enough as it was at the moment.

With this in mind, Youngjae picked up his phone and dialled the familiar number.

Youngjae lifted his head and wiped away his tears despite knowing that they’d keep flowing either way. He sniffled and cleared his throat; there were still questions he needed answered.

“So what does this mean?” he asked, lifting his head. His parents made their way back to their seats. “Why should this stop me from being with Daehyun – or any boy for that matter?”

Sun Hwa looked down at her hands. “It means that your body is capable of carrying a child if you were to be with someone in that way; a boy.”

The call rang out and Youngjae was left to speak to Daehyun through his voicemail.

“Hi, you’ve reached the phone of Jung Daehyun. I'm probably eating or having y times with my super-hot boyfriend Yoo Youngjae right now, but if you leave me a message I’ll call you back much later.” His voice made Youngjae smile for the first time in nearly 24 hours.

Part of Youngjae was glad that he didn’t have to do this directly, again. He was happy that he didn’t have to hear Daehyun’s heart breaking, or see the hurt on his face when Youngjae leaves him. The other part of him was cursing himself for being such a coward.

“Daehyun? Hi. I know I said that I’d call you yesterday but, I just got busy. Sorry. Um…I’ve been thinking a lot today, and I’ve come to realise that…well, I’m not gay. I’m sorry, but I’m not. I know it’s hard to hear, but it’s true,” Youngjae was trying desperately to keep his voice level, believable. He didn’t want Daehyun to hate him, but it was the easiest way to end things right now. “I regret everything we’ve done since we got back together. It’s wrong, and two boy shouldn’t be together in that way. I’m disgusted in myself and it’s all your fault. Please don’t try to contact me again because I want nothing to do with you. Goodbye, Jung Daehyun.”

He hung up and stared at the wallpaper of his phone – it was the selca they had taken at the festival. His vision blurred as more tears welled in his eyes. His arm came up, wiping his face with his sleeve.

He growled out of frustration and anger. He was angry toward his parents for keeping this from him for so long and for not getting him the surgery when they could’ve; he was angry at himself for breaking Daehyun’s heart yet again; he was angry at Daehyun for not leaving Youngjae alone the first time the younger said no, and in the end making Youngjae fall in love with him; he was angry at everyone and everything that took part in making his life this way.

Unable to contain his emotions, Youngjae threw his phone at the wall facing him. The mobile hit the wall with a loud crash and fell to the floor in pieces.

Youngjae’s stomach churned and lurched and he felt the need to vomit. No. No! He couldn’t be…could he? It would explain why his food poisoning had lasted longer than Daehyun’s, but sometimes food poisoning was just like that! There was no way he was pregn-

“That’s why we needed you to break up with Daehyun before you two get too close.” His father said, obviously uncomfortable.

The blonde gave a humourless chuckle. “Too late.”

Sunhwa shook her head. “Youngjae we know you love him, but-”

“No,” Youngjae cut her off, now too ashamed to even face them. “That’s not what I meant. D-Daehyun and I we…we were…intimate.”

Jaeho just closed his eyes while Sunhwa’s jaw dropped, a hand coming up to cover her gaping mouth.

“Oh, Youngjae,” she whispered. “Were you at least…safe?”

Youngjae bit his lip. “I guess we didn’t think we needed to be.”

Sunhwa looked down at her lap. “Do you think that there’s a chance you could be…”

Youngjae nodded silently, also staring at his lap.

There was a timid knock at his door.

“Youngjae-ah, it’s me; it’s umma.” Sunhwa’s voice was muffled through the door. “I’ve got something to talk to you about.”

‘Great,’ Youngjae thought, ‘just what I need; more big news.’

With an unenthused sigh, Youngjae dragged his feet across the room to open the door. He slumped down on his bed as his mother entered. She sat on the bed beside him.

“How are you feeling?” she asked him.

“Freaking fantastic,” he deadpanned. “What did you need to talk about?”

“The good news is that I’ve found a doctor that specialises in male pregnancies,” she told him. Youngjae let his hopes rise for just a second, until he realised that all good news comes with bad news attached. “The only downside is that he’s in America. Now, I spoke with him on the phone and he’s got no other cases at the moment and if we fly out tomorrow he can see you as soon as we like, but you’d have to miss out on at least a week of school.”

Youngjae thought for only a second; school or finding out more about his pregnancy? It was a no-brainer.

“Let’s go.” He said.

“Really?” she asked. “You’d be okay with that?” Youngjae nodded. Sunhwa noticed the broken phone on the ground. “Youngjae what happened to your cell phone?”

This made Youngjae break down in tears. “I called Daehyun, and I-I left him a v-voicem-mail saying that I re-regret being with him and that I’m disgusted w-with our r-relationship.”

“Oh, Youngjae, sweetie.” She scooped her son up in her arms and held him close to her as he cried.

“I didn’t mean it! I love him, umma. I love him so much!”

“I know you do, honey. I know you do.” She continued to soothe Youngjae as best she could as her son continued to cry, muttering “I love him” repeatedly. Her heart broke for her son.

Youngjae wished he had stayed in the dark because as much as he wanted to see the sun before, now the light was hurting his eyes.

X x X x X

Ta-Dah! Yes, this is an mpreg. Feel free to unsubscribe if you're not down with that, but this story was always planned to be mpreg.