In her whole life, there are many things Park Bom would like to make changes so that it would make her less painful. Maybe if she's given a chance, she would never have gone to Jeju at that time. Then she wouldn't have known who Kwon Jiyong was. She wouldn't have known what the pain of loving him is.

With a painful sigh, she rests her palm against the cool glass as she looks down the early morning of Seoul City. It's a cloudy morning with the rain scent in the air which is unusual giving that it's only the beginning of the spring season. But apart from the strange weather, people and vehicles are still doing their usual morning routines as they come and go to their respective destination. And that makes her wonders what Jiyong is up to at that moment.

Is he still in Jeju? Probably still sleeping? Or is he......? She shakes her head a little to get rid of those thoughts and lets out another sigh. Enough is just enough, Park Bom. It's time to let him go. But saying is so much easier than the actual action. How can she just forget about him when every second of her life was all about Jiyong? When every dream of her life was revolved around him?

She loves him, too much to be real and that equal amount of love is killing her.

"Are you awake, Bom?" A soft knock appears at the room door; accompanied by Soo Hyun's voice which makes her body goes stiff.

"If you want, Bom, we can go to Dubai and start a new life there. You can forget about everything that happened here and create a new life just the way you want it to be. And I'll be there to support your every step" He has said those words yesterday but she didn't have an answer for that except for 'Give me some time to think'"

But it's just a lame excuse and she knows it. No matter how much she likes Soo Hyun, it's still not enough to start a new life with him. How can she, when her heart is belonged to another man? It's unfair for Soo Hyun. And it also came out as a surprise the fact that her friend has developed feelings for her over the years. Maybe she's not as sharp as people believe.

"Bom?"

She takes a deep breath. "The door is not locked" But her voice is composed as ever.

"Hey, how are you?" Soo Hyun asks in his usual gentle voice as he steps into the room. He doesn't sound awkward or out of range which she feels thankful. Because if he's going to act strange, she's not sure what she's going to do.

"Better than I deserve" She lies smoothly.

"You deserve every beautiful thing in this world, Bom" Her breath hitches in at the familiar raspy-bold voice of her best friend. She finally tears her eyes away from the glass as she whirls around to look at Chaerin. Her usual stylish blonde hair looks messy. Her natural beautiful fair skin looks pale. And she normally can't go outside if her fashion is not completely update, but today, she's just in a simple t-shirt and jeans.

But apart from all of those things, when Bom looks into Chaerin's eyes, they are so bright. Brighter than usual as they burn with love and strength for her. It's like they are shouting the words 'Everything's going to be ok' 'There're only going to be better days'"

"Lee Faith Chaerin" She whispers her name as a tear falls down on the carpeted floor.

Chaerin just smiles. Then she opens her arms wide as she said, "Come here, baby"

Only that moment that Bom realizes how much she's still lucky. Maybe god's not that cruel after all.

# # #

"Are you sure you want to do this?" As they step out of the elevator, Chaerin squeezes her hand slightly and asks. She sounds worry. But she has the reason to be so since they are in the same hospital, in the same floor with the man from her darkest time.

Bom's not sure if she's ready for this or not. Maybe she will never be ready because the wounds were so deep that she's still suffering from them. But she also knows that running away from her own nightmare is not the best solution either. She needs to face them, bravely, and then move on. The left scars might hurt time to time, but it's better than living in that painful past every day, isn't it? 

"She needs to do that" Soo Hyun, who has been quiet all the way to here, finally said and there's confidence in his voice. "I know you can do that". Confidence for her and she's not sure if she deserves that or not. But surprisingly, it makes her braver. His trust in her makes her feels lighter.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Chaerin glares at Soo Hyun. "You stole my line, jerk"

Her lips curve up into a small smile at her best friend's childish behavior. God, she loves them. If it's not for them, she doesn't know how would she survive after what happened with Jiyong. Kwon Jiyong. She sighs at his name. It's only a day and the longing she has for him is unbearable. How could she love a man this much?

"You are a devil, Lee Chaerin" Soo Hyun's voice brings her out from her head and she shakes it slightly. Focus, Park Bom. This is an important time.

"Guys" She said softly and when both of them look at her, "I want to do this alone"

That makes Chaerin takes in a sharp breath and Soo Hyun frowns with worry. "You don't have to, Bommie" Chaerin said quickly. "You have us here....."

"I know" Bom cuts her sentence off as she stands straight. "But I need to do this alone. I have to"

Silence.

"I want to move on" She continues. "I want to move on so badly and to do so; I need to face this by myself. I know that you guys are going to be there for me. But I can't depend on you this time. I need to fight alone"

And after that, Bom feels herself being dragged into a bear hug. "I'm so proud of you, Bommie" Chaerin said as she sniffs into her shoulder which makes Soo Hyun rolls his eyes.

"This Blondie is so dramatic" Bom heard him murmurs which brings another smile on her face.

"It's because you don't understand women, you jerk " The blonde female retorts back as she slowly lets go of Bom. "You just shout really loud if he does something, ok?"

"What will he do when he can't even move around too much?" Soo Hyun said and earns another dead glare from Chaerin.

Bom just shakes her head a little bit before she walks towards her destination without saying another word. She can do it. She has to do it.

But it's different from thinking and when you are actually doing that. She feels her blood rushing faster as she slowly closes the distance between that room and herself. Her heart beats restlessly to the point that it's almost painful. Suddenly, she remembers the cigarette scent from 3 years ago. The cigarette scent and the knife. Her hand reaches to her chest as she clutches her knitted blouse tight.

No, Bom. You are stronger than this. You can't break down now. No matter how she encourages herself, her heart still stops a few seconds when she finally stands in front of the man's room. And it hurts. She remembers all the pain from 3 years ago. She remembers the pain of being torn apart. She remembers the pain of being stabbed and she also remembers the pain when Jiyong chose Dara.

Maybe if she's going to keep those pains, she won't survive longer. She needs to stop them, now. With a deep breath, Bom turns open the door of her painful past. 

"Young lady" She winces a little bit at the sound of the man, her personal driver from 3 years ago. The man looks horrible with his swallow skin and messy hair as he lays weakly on the bed.

Bom takes in a deep breath and with the fisted hand, she steps into the room. You can do this, Park Bom. I know that you can.

"I'm so sorry, young lady" The man said and tries to sit up in his bed which he fails.

"I didn't come here to get your apology" She said coldly but she notices that her voice is a little bit shaking. She needs to end this quickly before her courage falls apart. "I have a question and an order for you to follow"

The man doesn't say anything as he waits for her to continue. "Why you did that?" One of the pressures from her shoulders lifts up at that moment. She always wanted to know why her lo