Yongguk fixed his eyes on the man sitting in front of him. They were eating their breakfast but Yongguk’s mind was somewhere else. He kept asking himself if he really loves the other. And his heart had the answer. It beat faster and faster the longer the time he stared at the beautiful man. He was confused. He was not sure if it was appropriate or not to have those feelings because he promised that the marriage was just for two years max and they will spread apart after that.

                     Another promise was the one he made to himself. A promise not to fall in love again. Yongguk was afraid he would be hurt once more. But this is Daehyun. He is different. Yongguk knew it. Because Daehyun had break down the wall he built around him to give the love he was running away from. Or maybe he was the one to break the wall just to find his love for Daehyun. But that love seemed ridiculous. What would Daehyun say if he knew about it? Yongguk wouldn’t take the risk. He thought of keeping the feelings in his heart until two years had passed. And he would forget about Daehyun after that, hopefully.

                    “…hyung? Yongguk hyung?”

                Daehyun’s gentle voice made him realized the person he was staring was looking back at him. Yongguk blinked his eyes couple of times before responding to the younger. “…yes…?”

                    “Are you okay? You seem distracted,” Daehyun asked in concern.

                    “Really?” Yongguk faked a smile and shook his head to deny the latter. “I’m fine.”

                “Are you sure?” Daehyun leaned a little bit forward with raised furrowed eyebrows. He looked so worried and it showed that he really cared about his husband.

                   Yongguk just wanted to tell Daehyun to stop doing that because he would only make him fall harder. And if he fell too deep, he was not sure if he could get out of it. “Yeah. I better go now.”

               Yongguk wiped his mouth before standing up. As he was taking the briefcase, Daehyun came to him while holding up his jacket. Yongguk threw a confused look but Daehyun just patiently wait for him to wear it. And Yongguk did, with the help of the younger.

                   “You know, you can always tell me if something’s bothering you,” Daehyun said as he was fixing Yongguk’s tie. They were standing a little too close for Yongguk’s liking and he was scared if Daehyun could hear his pounding heart from that distance.

                “I’m all ears,” Daehyun added after he had done making his husband looked good and smiled the sweetest smile that could melt anybody who saw it, especially the man facing him.

                  Yongguk gulped, trying hard to tear his eyes from Daehyun’s shining face. He never knew Daehyun had such a bright smile. Not until he knew that he loves him. “I-I will… Th-thanks…” He forced his lips to curve upwards before hurriedly left the house with a relief sigh.

♥♡♥♡♥

                As usual, Daehyun would go to his campus together with Minsoo. He made sure to lock the door before sitting on the steps in front of the house to wait for him. That was when he received a call from Inguk.

           Daehyun gasped with wide eyes as he stared at the caller ID. It had been few months since their last encounter. As long as he remembered, Inguk asked him to pretend that they didn’t know each other. He was hurt. He thought his relationship would find a dead end sooner or later. But why was Inguk calling him? Why now? After such a long time… Did he want to put their relationship to an end?

                Daehyun got goosebumps at that idea. He was still pondering whether to answer the call or not. He was afraid if he couldn’t face the reality. His eyes were already clouded with tears. But before they could fall down, a loud horn startled him, making him jerked his head up. Minsoo had arrived and he was beckoning his hand for Daehyun to come into the car.

                Daehyun quickly wiped the watery eyes with his long sleeve. He took a look at his phone and the call had stop. Taking a deep breath, he got up and casually entered the car.

                “Morning,” Minsoo greeted with a smile.

                “Morning,” Daehyun smiled back.

           The car began his journey with them talking small conversations. But then, it was disturbed by a ringing phone. Daehyun hastily rejected it before putting his phone in silent mode.

                “Why didn’t you answer it?” Minsoo asked curiously.

                “Huh?” Daehyun turned to him agitatedly. “Um… it’s not important.”

            Minsoo was a little bit suspicious. He glanced at Daehyun and the latter seemed that he didn’t want to talk about it. So he just shrugged it off. It’s not his business anyway.

♥♡♥♡♥

           “Hello?”

             “Hello, eommonim. How are you? It’s me Yongguk.” Settling into the driver’s seat, Yongguk was glad when his mother-in-law answered his call. It was lunch hour and he decided to go home since he was missing Daehyun like crazy. And he knew the younger would be home early on Wednesday.

                “Oh, Yongguk-ah. I’m fine. What about you?”

                Yongguk started the engine and continued the conversation. “I’m fine. Daehyun’s fine too.”

                “That’s good. Is there something that you need?”

                “Yeah, actually… I want to ask about Daehyun’s favourite food.” Yongguk was getting shy by his sudden request but there was no one else he could ask about it besides Daehyun’s mother.

                “Why? Is he mad at you?”

                “No, no.” Yongguk shook his head although the other person on the line couldn’t see it.

                “Then, did you do something wrong?”

                “No…”

                “Or is he making you buy things for him?”

                “No, no, no.”

                “Oh! Don’t tell me! Is he pregnant?”

                “No! Not yet!” Yongguk’s cheeks grew hot because of that. “I just want to surprise him. That’s all.”

                “Ah… I see… You’re so nice. Well, Daehyun loves cheesecake. A lot.”

                “Cheesecake?”

                “Yeah. He’ll love you forever if you buy that.”

               He’ll love me forever? Daehyun will love me forever if I buy him cheesecake? Yongguk grinned thinking about how cute Daehyun could be. Maybe he should try it out and see if his mother-in-law was right. And when both of them were in love with each other, there’s no need to break apart, right? Yongguk already thought about that in his office, neglecting the tons of works he had to do. He would try to make Daehyun to love him back.

♥♡♥♡♥

             Daehyun groaned into the small pillow as he lay on his stomach on the sofa. He was rooted there in the living room since he was back from the campus. And over the period of time, his phone wouldn’t stop ringing because of that one total jerk.

                  There were more than 50 missed calls already and Daehyun was losing his patience. Picking up his phone, he went to the back door that led to their garden behind their house. But he just stood there after sliding the door open. He was planning to yell and throw chains of curses at Inguk after what he had done to him. Instead, what came out from his mouth was a trembling soft voice asking what the other wanted from him.

                “Daehyun? Daehyun, thank God you finally answered me! Dae, look, I’m really sorry for what I have done.  I didn’t know what had got into me the other day, I shouldn’t have treated you like that. I’m so sorry, Dae.”

              Daehyun just kept his mouth shut hearing his boyfriend’s apology. He was happy because Inguk realized his mistake, he was grateful when Inguk didn’t say anything about breaking up. But he was still angry over the fact that the guy took a long time to do it.

             “Daehyunnie, are you still mad at me?” Inguk asked timidly when he didn’t hear any respond from the latter.

               Daehyun scoffed even though he was on the verge of tears. “Only now you’d ask about it?” He could hear a sigh from Inguk after he said that.

                “I’m sorry, Dae. I really really am. You have to understand. It’s not easy to be an idol.”

                “So, being an idol is far harder than treating me like your lover?” Daehyun retorted between shaky breaths.

                “No, Dae. I love you. Please, you don’t know how much I missed you. I love you, Dae.” Inguk was vigorously trying to convince him. “I felt lonely when I’m not with you. I was thinking of you everyday since I came to Seoul. And when I couldn’t call you because of my busy schedules, I almost could hear your voice inside my head. But when I could call you, you made me forget about the bad days…until one day you hung up on me and you didn’t call me back after that. You don’t know how frustrated I felt on that day. I thought being angry with you could solve it all. But it didn’t work since I’m missing you more and more and when I remembered you’re in Seoul because of me, I realized I’ve made a mistake. I’m sorry, Dae.”

               Daehyun shut his eyes, making the tears spilled to his cheeks. He bit his lips as he felt his feelings were being played with. He missed Inguk. He was hurt so much with the elder’s act at their last meeting. Then he hated him. Now, with a single phone call, he was slowly giving up to him, unsure if it was worth it or not.

                “Daehyun, forgive me. I love you…”

                Taking a deep breath, Daehyun finally admitted his defeat. “I love you too…”

♥♡♥♡♥

         Yongguk involuntarily backed away after he was a few meters behind Daehyun. He was ready to surprise the younger with the cheesecake he had bought, only to surprise himself when he saw Daehyun was crying over the phone. He didn’t know what to do as he silently cursed himself for choosing the wrong time.

                Seeing Daehyun with tears flooding out from his eyes made Yongguk wanted to hug him just like what he did before. He could guess who was talking with Daehyun since there’s only one person who would cause Daehyun to cry like that. He had grown to hate that guy although he didn’t know who it was. That guy hurt the person he loves.

               He was hoping that Daehyun would be angry at that guy and cut the line just like that. So when he heard Daehyun saying the three words, his breath hitched, his heart clenched painfully before shattering to pieces. Without waiting any longer, he walked away as quietly as he could and soon he was running out of the house to get back into the car.

                Yongguk threw the box of cheesecake he was holding all the time to the next seat after pulling the door close in a smash. He rubbed his face before gripping tightly to the steering wheel. Then he hit his head repeatedly on it. He felt like a complete idiot. He should’ve known it.  Why didn’t he make sure of it first? A beautiful kind guy like Daehyun certainly must have belonged to someone. His love was one-sided after all.

♥♡♥♡♥

                Yongguk was not the type of person who would go to a bar and let himself to be drunk to forget his problems. He preferred to be immersed with all the works in his office. He still went to his work that evening, trying to avoid going home. But he knew it was impossible so he planned on staying in the office until it would be closed after midnight.

                He did the best as he could to give all his focus to his work as he ignored everything else that revolved around him including his vibrating phone. No matter how hard he tried, Daehyun didn’t seem to leave his mind. His heart ached so much because of that and he knew he shouldn’t let the feeling controlled him. It’s not the first time he had been in the same situation anyway. He continued looking at the papers on the table without caring about the passing time.

                    Knocks were heard on his door but Yongguk didn’t realize it until Joonmyeon was standing in front of him.

                   “Aren’t you going back?” Joonmyeon asked.

                    Yongguk looked up. “There’re just a little bit more that I need to do.”

                “Really? That’s weird. Usually you’d be the first person to get out of here,” Joonmyeon remarked while Yongguk just shrugged his shoulders.

                “Are you having a fight with Daehyun?” Joonmyeon guessed and he knew he was correct when Yongguk glared at him. He smiled. “Yeah, that’s normal. But you shouldn’t be sulking like this. Daehyun must be worried about you and missing you at home.”

                With that, Joonmyeon excuse himself from the office. Maybe Daehyun really was missing someone but it was definitely not him. Yongguk stretched his body on the chair before his vibrating phone finally caught his attention. Grabbing the device located at the end of the table, he unlocked it to see plenty of missed calls and text messages but only Daehyun’s that he was interested in.

From : Daehyun

What do you want to eat for dinner?

From : Daehyun

Are you busy?

From : Daehyun

You’ll be back for dinner right?

From : Daehyun

Is it okay if I cook anything?

                The last message was sent about an hour ago and the time now was almost 7 pm. He started to feel guilty to ignore the younger. Daehyun was such a caring person. It was not his fault that he loved another person. Yongguk shouldn’t have fallen in love with him in the first place.

                   Not long after that, another message came in.

From : Daehyun

I’m cooking the dinner now. You better hurry home if you don’t want it to get cold

                Yongguk stared at his phone as he didn’t know how he should reply it. But he didn’t want to go home either. He needed more time for himself before facing Daehyun again.

                Yongguk got up from the chair and wandered around the office. He then went out to go to the pantry to make a coffee. There were still some other employees finishing their works while the rest had already gone home. He was back into his office to lie on the couch, wishing to take a nap.

                Accidently, his nap had lasted for two hours. He had only a few more hours before the office was closed. He decided to continue on his work, but not before he checked on his phone again when he got a new message.

From : Daehyun

What time are you going to be back? I’ll reheat the food

                Yongguk sighed heavily. He couldn’t bear imagining Daehyun was waiting for his reply at home. Finally, he typed a text and sent it to the latter.

To : Daehyun

I’m working overtime. Don’t know when I’ll be back. No need to reheat the food for me. I can do it myself

♥♡♥♡♥

              Yongguk slowly strode into the house after the long hours at his workplace. All the lights were still on and he assumed maybe Daehyun purposely left them like that because he was not home yet. As usual, he put his jacket and briefcase on the sofa before going to the kitchen to get some water. There, he saw Daehyun was sitting still with his face hidden in his folded arms on the table.

                He couldn’t possibly wait for me, right? It's already passed one o'clock.  Yongguk thought as he went to stand beside the younger. Daehyun really had the habit to hide his face whenever he was asleep. He then looked at all the dishes on the table and he guessed Daehyun already ate his portions. Yongguk sighed before lifting his hand to pat Daehyun’s shoulder.

                 “Daehyun-ah…” Yongguk called and the latter raised his head almost too quickly.

               “Yongguk, you’re back,” Daehyun paused to let out a sleepy yawn. “Let me reheat the food for you,” He stood up to do the task but Yongguk grabbed his wrist.

                “It’s okay, Daehyun. Why’re you sleeping here? I told you there’s no need to reheat the food for me, didn’t I?”

                “You did?” Daehyun’s eyebrows knitted together as he blinked confusedly at the older man.

                 Yongguk just wanted to tell him to stop being cute already. It was not helping to ease the pain in his heart. “I did,” He retorted.

                “Well, things already happened,” Daehyun shrugged his shoulders. “I know you didn’t eat anything yet, right? So let me prepare the food for you,” He pulled his hand from Yongguk’s grip and took two plates of dishes to the oven.

                “Daehyun, you don’t have to,” Yongguk complained.

                “It’s okay. It’s not that hard,” Daehyun replied with his back facing the other.

                “Daehyun, I can do it by myself,” Yongguk assured again.

                “I’m already doing it.”

               “Daehyun…” Yongguk called once more but this time he didn’t get any answer. Shaking his head, he walked to Daehyun before lifting the smaller man by placing one arm around his back and another underneath his knees. Surprised by the sudden act, Daehyun gave an involuntary yelp and threw his arms around Yongguk’s neck in reflex to keep the balance.

                “What are you doing?!” Daehyun asked with big eyes and also a hint of blush on his cheeks.

                Yongguk kept his mouth shut while he walked out of the kitchen.

                “Yongguk, put me down!” Daehyun commanded, trying to sound angry but he just looked like a grumpy cat for his husband.

             The older man ignored him as he tightened his hold on the struggling Daehyun. He managed to go up the stairs and went into the younger’s room.

              “You have to go to sleep. I know you have an early class tomorrow and you’re not a night owl. Don’t blame me if you get sleepy in your class. Now, will you go to sleep yet?” Yongguk walked to the bed and gently placed Daehyun on it.

              Daehyun on the other hand was staring at him in disbelief. It was the first time Yongguk nagged at him since he was the one to blabber all the time. Looking at Yongguk’s grave look made him feel small. He finally gave in to his husband with a slight nod of his head.

                   “Good. You can release me now,” Yongguk said with a smirk. His face looked calm despite the fast thumping heart in his chest.

              It took some seconds for Daehyun to register what Yongguk meant. He quickly pulled back his arms that were previously circled around Yongguk’s neck. It was embarrassing that Daehyun had to look away from the chuckling Yongguk with a pout on his face.

                “Good night,” Yongguk said as he grabbed the stuffed bunny on the other side of the bed and put it beside Daehyun. The younger immediately cuddled it, also saying goodnight to him. Daehyun failed to receive a small smile from Yongguk because he already had his eyes closed.

                  Shortly after that, Yongguk left Daehyun in the room without turning off the lights, knowing that the younger was afraid of the dark. He closed the door to lean against it. A heavy sigh escaped his mouth because of the backfired plan to ignore Daehyun. He thought ignoring the said person could make him forget about the painful feelings but Daehyun was making it hard for him to do it. How could he pretend not to acknowledge such a cute, lovely, nice, caring and perfect person? He was totally in love with Daehyun and there’s nothing he could do about it.

♥♡♥♡♥

I love you even if you don’t love me back.

Update! Sorry for the long wait. Thanks for being patient /bows

My holiday starts next week and I hope I can update faster and regularly ^^

Thanks a lot to upvoters, subscribers, commentors and readers!  ♥♥♥