"I've realised that even if a person keeps smiling, deep within their hearts, they may still carry some burden.

I also realised that even if a person carries a great burden, they will still be able to smile."

Paris was a good place to be. A plenty of restaurants and cafes to explore and Baekhyun was complaining that she ate too much, but let her be anyway. The phone rang in wee hours of morning when coincidentally, Jiyoon was already awake and set to watch the sunrise with Baekhyun.

It felt surreal and she blinked for a few seconds unable to register what she heard. Baekhyun chuckled and ruffled her messy hair, muttering something along the lines of 'You need to wake up, sleepyhead' and received the phone only to drop it on the wooden floor a few seconds later.

'There must be a mistake', Baekhyun muttered repetitively in the private jet with bloodshot eyes and all Jiyoon could do was lend him a shoulder to rest on while she silently cried with him.

Kyungsoo's death was a thunderstorm that swept up everything in its way. It was a cold bitter winter and snow never seemed to have stopped falling since the night before. News reported that it was one of the coldest winter in a decade or so. Jiyoon watched the snow fall and pile on umbrellas, cars and pavements painting everything it landed a bright snow white. The children ran onto the streets decked in warm winter coats with their parents chasing after them, chiding them 'the snow is dirty'.

It was funny how it was supposed to be normal for the sky to rain and grieve with people when someone died. It was ironic how it didn't in Kyungsoo's case. As if it was something not to feel upset over.
 

Jiyoon grabbed a newspaper from a convenience store just around the corner of the church. It was headlines that Mr Park passed away peacefully on his son's 18th birthday but there was no further details, not even the fact that he had been murdered which Baekhyun calmly gave a reply that 'money can do wonders'.

There were a fair bit of people, she noticed when she stepped into the church hall. Jiyoon spotted the boys sitting on the first row, dressed in black suits and ties. To the last moment, Jiyoon had tried brainwashing herself that the boys must be playing a horrible joke on them. She choked on her tears when her eyes landed on the black coffin.

Kyungsoo's large obituary photograph smiled back at her peacefully, just like he always does.

How can someone be taken away without warning?

Everyone looked solemn, eyes red and sore from all the tears shed together last night in their rooms at Chanyeol's mansion. Two deaths in a day wasn't something Chanyeol could handle really well and he still had to return to his father's funeral lasting seven days. On top of handling the funeral procession, his mom was ill and in the hospital from all the shock and nothing was quite right at the moment.

It was a cold, painful death. According to Xiumin, Kyungsoo was gone by the time he arrived in the hospital and Kai was very unstable, taking Chanyeol and Suho much strength to hold him back the entire night from doing something silly; even though they were bleeding on the inside as much as he did.

They raised from their seats when the priest lead the hymms. It was one of the rare moments when silence was deafening and none of them spoke a word. Throughout the entire procession, Jiyoon only had eyes on Rina who was standing by her side. It had been only a day and she looked as if she was about to collapse any moment, her lips white and dry.

"Today we are gathered here to celebrate the life of Do Kyungsoo, who has now returned with Our God, The Father."

"Bull," Sehun muttered angrily under his breath. "He wasn't even Christian."

Jiyoon slipped her hands gently into Sehun's ones, appeasingly. His usual warm skin felt ice cold against hers. Her gaze lingered on his side profile. His eyes had lost their original arrogance and he looked just as pale as any of the boys. Sehun wasn't a man with expressions, that she knew well. He wasn't one to cry or grief over someone's death.

Not when he was an orphan without parents and he experienced loss at such a young age that he was deprived of such emotions.

But he had feelings, Jiyoon was sure.

"What a pity he died early." there were murmurings that could be heard as friends and classmates came up one by one in a single neat line, placing white lilies before his post-mortem.

"Are you sad?" Jiyoon sighed softly. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying last night but she made sure to hold back her feelings in the church hall because there was someone beside her in much more pain and agony and she needed to give that someone the strength she needs.

"Do you think I am?" Sehun shot back in annoyance. His eyes grew tender as he stared at the post-mortem photograph of the boy who had lips turned up slightly, ever so teasingly staring straight back at Sehun as if telling him something. Something Sehun could never decipher. Kyungsoo was a mom he never had, a brother he came to love and a friend, he was a wonderful one. 

"He's an for a great hyung."

"I even said I'll get to eat his breakfast another day. How silly I must have sound-"
 

"I need to see him..." Rina sobbed in agony, pushing past the crowd of people to the coffin. She needed to see him, one more time. Just one more time. Didn't he promise to teach her how to cook his favourite dishes? He promised to go see the fireworks on New Year with her. He promised that one day, he will learn to love her as much as she do.

Rina stumbled with unstable footsteps to the black coffin only to be blocked by a solemn Xiumin accompanied by several policemen.

"No, I'm sorry-"

"LET ME SEE HIM!" she screamed, falling to her knees. She grabbed Xiumin by the ankle, tugging at it endlessly in effort for him to change his mind but he never budged and stood stubbornly in his place.

"Rina-" Jiyoon grabbed Rina's arms but she struggled with an insane amount of strength and broke free from her. She gave Jiyoon no choice but to grab her wrists forcefully and spin her around. Junhee stood rooted at the sides, not making any signs of movement.

"Unnie... pl-lease help me." she whimpered, choking on her tears that fell uncontrollably. "I need to see him, please. One last time, just one more time. There's alot of things I haven't said to hi-"

"Rina-" Jiyoon placed two palms on Rina's wet cheeks, "Rina look at me."

"He's gone." she whispered softly, cradling the broken girl in her arms. "He's gone."

"Kyungsoo's not coming back anymore."

"How did it happen?" Jiyoon slipped her hand into Sehun's as they walked out of the church.

"He murdered Chanyeol's father and commited suicide after that." he answered as a matter-of-factly and it ran shivers down Jiyoon's spine wondering if he could have been any less blunt in the way he spoke. He continued, adding on to his previous statement. "His parents commited suicide 5 years ago, along with his grandfather because of Chanyeol's father who ruined their business. He wanted revenge."

It was an unbelievable statement and Jiyoon could not believe how someone as kind as Kyungsoo would do something like that.

"It was planned."

Jiyoon shut her eyes, a single tear slipping on her cheeks. "Is it so important? Revenge?"

"Maybe, to Kyungsoo." 

Sehun's cold gaze drifted to Suho who was in the church hall, speaking to Mr Ahn and the teachers, occasionally nodding to their questions. His hands were by his side, balling his fists from time to time which created crease lines on his dress pants. "Suho hyung must be blaming himself for what happened."

"It doesn't feel real." she muttered again, feeling the hot tears in her eyes welling up again. She hated to cry or feel weak but the thought of Kyungsoo who had been right there, sitting next to her only mere hours ago was dead. "Everything happened so quickly I don't even have time to think and I even told Kyungsoo there'll be a next time for his kimchi soup."
 

"We never really understood him." he said in a bid to calm her down. His hands slipped across her waist and rested softly on her hips, bringing her further away from the church.

"Why were there so many people anyway?" she sniffled, blowing her nose with the hankerchief Sehun handed her. "I didn't know Kyungsoo oppa knew that many people."

"They're not here for Kyungsoo, they're here for Chanyeol." Sehun rolled his eyes just at the thought of the nosy people. "Or I should say, CEO of the Park Corporation."

"He's the CEO? Oh wait. Yeah. He is, now." Jiyoon muttered softly under her breath. She felt the most apologetic to Chanyeol out of everyone because he must be feeling extremely betrayed especially when his father was killed by his friend whom he trusted. Everybody trusted. It sent shivers down her spine again.
 

"Dad...-"

"O-oh Jiyoonie. You're home from tuition. I- I can explain this."

"Are you my dad?"

There was no blood. Nothing. But it still frightened her to bits how she found out that she had been living with a monster all the while and the nightmare came surging back. All of a sudden it was hard to breathe and before she knew, she slipped away from Sehun and crouched on the ground hyperventilating. She in deep breathes of air, taking in the maximum amount of oxygen she could mechanically.

"Breathe, Jiyoon, breathe." she reminded herself like a mantra. 

Sehun felt his heart drop at this scene and he stepped closer to the girl who was receiving strange g