“Here you go, ma’am, sir.” The attendant guides us to our seats so we found it easier. I settle at the inner seat while Taemin seats beside me along the aisle. Business class. This is so convenient since we’re travelling for almost a day to go to Brazil.

I am actually very sleepy. I haven’t had enough sleep since last night. Blame the awkwardness plus Taemin’s sudden confession.

Finally, the plane takes off. He lets out a long sigh so I automatically look up at him. He is actually yawning. He looks down to me, smiles a bit weakly, and I think at that time, he starts forgetting that we’re actually acting awkward toward each other. I take the opportunity to my advancement. “Sleepy?” I ask.

“A bit.” He says, still looking at me.

“Me, too.” Gently, I place my head on his shoulder. If there is any changes on his expression, I don’t know. I don’t want to look at it right now. “I didn’t have a good sleep at all.” I say.

Which makes me think that I just confessed myself, too. I acted like I was sleeping really soundly last night, but here I am being sleepy? He might start to think that I’m weird.

He lowers down himself to make his shoulder even fitter for my head. I adjust myself and lean closer. “Y-you didn’t sleep well?” He asks. I nod. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” Because I really don’t know what to say at this moment. One more word from me and I can finally just blurt out that ‘Yes, Taemin, I heard it all’.

But won’t it be a better idea? That I should tell him I heard those words he said last night just so I would be able to help him more? Won’t it be good to tell him so he would understand if I suddenly start to act strange? And won’t it be better if he knows my intentions already? Perhaps he would feel more confident then.

But the setting, tho… is a bit off. Maybe I’ll just use this romantic vacation for that. There must be some place fit for this kind of romance – or what should I call this if not romance?

“Can I sleep?” I ask and literally yawn.

“Of course.” He answers softly and after that, I just feel myself really falling asleep.

When I wake up, I feel a bit of weight on my head. He has leaned on me, too, and has fallen asleep. I try not to move and just let it be like that. I’ll just stay like this until he wakes up.

Just then I notice something. My right hand is on his lap, clasped tightly with his left hand. I don’t know how it happened. It might be him who held me like this or it might be me who unconsciously slid my hand to hold his. I’m not sure.

But looking at it, I can’t help but have such a light feeling about it.

This feels good.

This feels really good.

While he sleeps, I take the chance to place my other hand on top of his so that I could see our wedding rings together.

Like really, call me this crazy, but seeing those rings together makes me really really happy. This is the first time that I actually feel being a married woman. The genuine moment when I know I have someone.

It’s not like we officially have each other as real lovers, but I want to consider it now. The confession I heard last night, it was enough to ease out my doubt and my fright to love him openly. It’s like those words give me the courage to stand up and lead this relationship.

Leading this relationship. Leading Lee Tae Min. It sounds so funny and unbelievable to me. Just few days ago, he was the one acting so controlling over me, now in reality, I actually have the sole capability for us to work.

Be brave, Song Rae In.

“Tell me.” Suddenly, he speaks. I am not aware he’s awake, too.

He lifts his head from mine and I do the same, looking at each other. I remove my other hand on top of his quickly but he keeps the other, even holding it tightly just in case I try to remove it, too.

“What?” I ask.

“You heard me last night.” It’s not a question, but a statement.

My words and my actions always betray me. I can’t hide anything at all. Tsk tsk.

“You did, so you’re acting like this.” I am trying to listen to the sound of his voice, observing if he’s mad or pissed off or what. He’s just plain serious to know.

And my intimidation over this attitude of him returns. The thought of leading the relationship is gone again.

Intimidating words from him again and I’m back to being the controlled one.

But no, be brave, Song Rae In.

“True.” I finally reply and he forces himself not to draw any obvious reaction from his face. If he’s embarrassed, he’s trying to hide it. If he’s mad, he’s trying not to be.

Be brave, Song Rae In.

“So?” He answers – hoping to gain the control once again as he speaks so superior.

I don’t want to lose.

“You said you want me to help you, so I will be.” I claim our hands together and it lands on my lap now. I don’t know why I did that. Maybe it symbolizes that I want to be in control. He tries to pull it back to him, but I put my other hand on top of his hand again and it stays still on my territory. Ha. I win.

“You’re not oblige to do that.” He says with his ego still wanting to let itself up.

“I am not obliging myself to do so.” I answer back, not breaking the intense staring competition with him.

It’s like a subtle ‘whoever looks away firs loses’ game. This is just funny. We’re like two kids competing who’s more powerful.

“Stop it.”

“You can’t order me around.”

“I can.” He frowns but I shake her head.

“You had the chance to control me but you lost it last night, when you confess to me, and you give your weakness away.” I say and when I heard myself, I can’t help but chuckle. His reaction is unstoppable now. He lets out an O-shaped mouth.

“Hey, I did that because you confronted me in the kitchen.” He says softly. “You said things which had me thinking.”

“But you see, I’m much braver than you.” I boast and I don’t know why I’m enjoying this.

I can understand now why Taemin always likes to be in control.

“I’m braver because I can confront you face to face, and right now, I can even tell you that I like you while you’re wide awake and you’re looking at me right into my eyes.”

“Yah…” He starts complaining – like how children do when they want their parents to just give them what they want.

“So let me handle it – I mean, you.”

“Seriously, Rae In. Stop doing this. You know, I-“

I stop him by sealing his lips with a kiss. His eyes grow wider.

My adrenaline is rushing through me and I don’t know what has gotten me so excited to really do all the sweet stuff to him.

Like I don’t know, but I’m putting all the frights away and just do what I want. I’ll turn this vacation as the most romantic vacation he’s had so far. Very unforgettable.

That vulnerable look on his face when I let his lips go is priceless. It’s like I want to kiss him again and make him feel even more vulnerable under my control.

I pull him back closer to me again and lean on his shoulder again. “Now let me go back to sleep.”

“Yah, Song Rae In.”

“Lee Taemin.” I utter strongly, and once again look up to meet him in the eyes. We’re only few inches away from each other’s faces. “If I were you, I’ll quit complaining. I want you to be a good boy.” I say, imitating how he used to be so authoritative to me before.

Not this time, Lee Taemin.