I come downstairs rushing. It’s already 7am in the morning.

“Umma, did you pack all the foods I’ll bring to Dannie?” I ask umma as I reach the dining table and immediately take a sip of the hot coffee she prepares for me every morning.

“Yep, just as you told me so. Everything’s here.” She says and puts down the bag full of foods and nutritious drinks for Dannie. “When are you going to bring her home? It’s been a month already and you just keep going back and forth from the orphanage.”

I sigh. I wonder, too… I wonder when I will take her with me, and finally be her legal guardian.

As soon as the investigations finished and they figured out about Dannie being a complete orphan, the police decided to take her to the social welfare office, and they just took her to the orphanage. I insisted on taking her with me, saying since as Dan Mi’s bestfriend, it’s only appropriate for me to be the guardian since Dan Mi will surely entrust her daughter to me, but they disapproved. They told me I should legally adopt her if that’s the case, and while I need to process these damn papers first, then Dannie will stay with them.

“The requirements are killing me, umma. I don’t know how on Earth I could fulfil these stupid requirements.”

1. A stable job and a stable income to make sure Dannie would live a normal and healthy life.
2. An experience on raising a child or if there’s none, should take a seminar on child raising.
3. A good and comfortable house conducive to children.
4. Should be married for at least 6 months before the approval of adoption.

Number one, checked. Number three, checked. I can do something for number 2 if they really want me to take that seminar. But number four?! How on Earth will I be suddenly married for 6 months? Why is there a big joke on the number four requirement?!

Seriously, Dan Mi, I promised you, I’d take care of Dannie but look at what’s happening. I couldn’t get her because of that damn 4^th requirement and it’s really close to impossible to meet. For one, I have no boyfriend, and for two, I don’t think I could find a boyfriend and marry him right away.

This is frustrating. How long should I need to wait in order to get Dannie? I should take her out of that orphanage. She needs a family. She needs one who will truly look after her as a parent.

“Exactly, Ms. Song. Dannie needs a family, that’s why we can’t easily give her to a single person just for that person to be a single parent. Dannie went through a lot. She should at least have one whole family to continue living with her.”

I, again, am reminded with what one of the facilitator told me. Thank God she is friendly to me, and from time to time, I know I can get piece of advice from her on how I can actually get Dannie as fast as I can. They had a point though, but I can assure them I can give Dannie a whole family but… just not now, okay? I’m still 23 like, hello?

Ugh. Dan Mi. Why must you bear a baby at the age of 17 and get married at the age of 19?

“Umma? Appa? Why don’t you just adopt Dannie? She can be my little sister!”

“We are too old to adopt.” Appa answers back. “I heard the orphanage is already being strict to those who want to adopt. The younger, the better. Dannie is just 6 years old. I doubt.”

“Then what do I do? I promise Dan Mi I’ll take care of her. I really need to take her out of the orphanage.”

This is just so frustrating and I hope I can find solution to take her without having to marry as early as now. Actually, I think it will be better if it’s just Dannie and I. No father needed. I can raise her and be both the kind of parents she will need. I can be a mother and a father to her.

After having so much thoughts, I fix myself and get ready to leave. I am going back to the orphanage, and will spend the rest of the day with Dannie so she will still feel that though I am not always beside her, I will always try my best to be there with her whenever possible. I should make her feel I never forget about her. Even when I have work, I call her from time to time to make sure she’s okay, and if there’s something she needs, then I’ll bring it over during weekend when I can spare my entire day for her.

Truthfully, it feels like I have become a mother with all these sorts of things I’m doing for her. I run errands in the office and write numerous articles for the newspaper where I’m working, but in between breaks I make sure to call her to check if she’s fine or in need of something.

More than one month has passed since Dan Mi left us. It is still a short time and I know it will be hard for Dannie to completely be healed, but she’s a strong girl. I know she’s trying her best to live her life. One time I asked her about how she was feeling and she told me this:

“I feel sad not having umma beside me… but if I continue being like this, then umma who watches from heaven will get sad, too.”

Indeed, she’s one precious little girl who will always try her best to smile just so her umma will smile as well. She’s the sweetest I’ve known, that’s why I will do everything just to get her. I won’t stop. Maybe my diligence on always attending over her needs will make the administrator realize that they can really entrust Dannie to me. They should entrust her to me. I am the only one capable of making her life as normal as possible, since I’m the closest to her right now.

As I arrive at the orphanage, there is an unusual number of mini busses outside. There must be something going on inside the children’s home.

Right. This must be an outreach program held by Seoul Medical School. I just happen to see on the banner posted on the walls of the buses.

I can see lots of young men and women (oh probably just around the same age as mine) roaming around the vicinity. They are playing with the children, and some of them are in the booth they created giving free snacks to the kids. I am not informed this happens here, but it’s good that these people know how to give back.

But Dannie must be somewhere around here… she must be in the swing. It’s where I always take her whenever I want to just have some time with her. It’s the place she always wants to be in. So, moving away from these bunch of doctors and medical students, I made my way towards the swing just at the back of the wide field in the entrance.

Finally, there’s Dannie.

But wait, she’s with someone. There’s a young man carrying Dannie on his lap as he sits on the swing. They are talking together, and Dannie is smiling. At this point, I am surprise to see she’s smiling like that to someone. I am thinking she will only do that to me since I’m the only one she can trust, and besides, that’s what the facilitator always tells me; that I’m the only one who can talk to Dannie, for she never talks to anyone else in the orphanage. She’s always silent and will only nod, shake her head, or give short responses whenever being asked by the people there.

I walk slowly towards them and they don’t seem to notice me at all. Wow. I’m kinda jealous. I thought that all this time, Dannie only looks at me. Just how many times have these people visited that he and Dannie already look so close?

“Oh is your auntie pretty then?” I hear the man says.

Dannie nods. Oh, I just want to flip my hair. She thinks I’m pretty? How nice of her.

“She’s going to take care of me soon once she takes me out of here.” Dannie answers back, the same way she talks to me. It’s a bit annoying because they really seem so close.

“You said you’re here for more than a month, then your auntie should take you immediately. Why is she taking too long?” It’s funny how the man converses to Dannie in the way that it seems like they are of the same age. If it’s because he’s talking to her in a mature way or he’s just naturally like that. Ugh. I can’t really understand.

“Because she needs to get married first.”

“Han Dannie?” I am just so surprised of what she just blurts out that I call her immediately in panic of being exposed to this man too much. I don’t know him. Why does he need to be informed about me not being married and all? It’s none of his business, oh my gosh.

“Auntie!” Dannie hops off the man, runs to me and I kneel down to give her a hug, but I am still a bit uncomfortable. From the corner of my eye, I see the man stands up and walks to where we are.

“So, you’re her auntie. It’s nice to meet you.”  He stands now just few meters away from us so I stand up and plan to greet him politely.

“Yes, I-“ I am suddenly speechless. This man… he is familiar. No, wait. He is, in fact, very familiar.

“Lee Taemin?!” Automatically, just like how it was from years ago, my eyebrow raises upon uttering his name. Oh just how can I forget you, Lee Taemin?

“Hey, you forgot to call me sunbae.” He breaks into a smile and nods in such a friendly way that makes me wanna puke. Why is this person such a great actor? Did my little Dannie perhaps fall for him that fast that’s why she was being good to him? “Dannie says her auntie is pretty.”

“And?” My left eyebrow involuntarily raises even higher.

He chuckles. The same chuckle that hurts my ear even from before. “Well? Only if her eyebrows are of the same level.”

Shame on you, Lee.

Ihartjinki's: 

It always cheers me up knowing a lot of you still thinks I write good stuff - thanks to those who subbed on the 1st chapter alone. :)