A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait, my dearies, school works have been acting up on me lately, :'(

It was awkward. Yeah, and I… I don’t know why he did that. I mean, are we already in that state of being close for him to just hug me like that? It’s awkward, uncomfortable and… I don’t know.

As soon as he lets go, I retrieve myself and look at him in the eyes. He smiles. “I’ll just probably take a bath.” He says before moving away going to his room and leaving me alone.

I know that smile. That genuine-innocent-but-not-so-innocent smile Lee Taemin has. I stare at him quietly, wondering if he’s really serious about being nicer and treating me with care from now on. He isn’t drunk, though. They did drink few cans of beer but they were not enough to make them drunk. He is perfectly in his sense right now, but I want to doubt that. I’m expecting he would suddenly change a bit later.

Debating whether or not I should enter the same room with Taemin, in the end, I did. I can hear the water running out of the shower as Taemin takes a bath. My eyes are locked on the bed. WillI… shall I… must I… do I really need to sleep with Taemin on that bed?

I mean, not that I’m too conservative, but… he’s a man. Not to mention, a not-so-great man. Gosh. No matter what I do, I just can’t see him as how Kibum-ssi and the others look at him. I know I should see the goodness in every people’s heart, but really, it’s hard to always believe that Taemin has this goodness. Well, sometimes, I think he’s nice, but often times I think he’s not.

“Rae In-ah.” I am brought back to my senses when Taemin speaks. He has just gotten out of the shower. He is in shorts and plain white shirt, still drying his hair with a towel he rubs back and forth on his head. “Won’t you take a shower?”

It feels weird, right? A man asking a woman if she will take a shower and they were in the same room. “I won’t.” I automatically answered to break the common sense of answering ‘yes, I will’ to that question. He looks at me, stares at me for a while and tilts his head a bit to his side.

“You are not going to take a shower first before sleeping? Hey, freshen up.” He says casually, which irritates me. He converses to me as if we know each other so well, as if we’re besties.

“I’m okay. I’ll just take a bath as soon as I get up tomorrow.” I say as if I don’t care but in fact, I really want to go inside and take a shower. I am envious of how fresh he looks just now.

But I can’t. I must not. I could just imagine the scenario of walking out of the bathroom with dripping hair, in shorts and in shirt, then I could see him in the bed lying and waiting for me. I just…

Oh my, why am I like this?

“Your choice.” He shrugs his shoulders and finally moves to the bed. He sits on it and starts putting some moisturizer on.

He looks so vain. If there’s one goodness about him, then that is about him taking really good care of himself. Oh, what do I expect? He’s a doctor, after all, so it’s normal for him to practice proper hygiene.

“Do you sleep with lights on?”

“I can sleep with or without lights but I prefer sleeping without it.” I say honestly.

“I can’t sleep without it, actually.” He admits to which I only shrug on. “I use dim lights for my room, though, I think you’ll be comfortable enough.”

“I will.” I answer.

“Are you just gonna stand there, then? If you’re not going to do any rituals before going to sleep then maybe you can go here and let’s sleep. I’m a bit tired for today.” He says and pats the empty space beside him, then stretches his back and exercised his neck – just like what he did that night when we did shopping together with Dannie.

Gosh, the thing is that… there are several things I don’t wish to see on him, including… these sides.

I mean, it might sound weird but I want him to stay as a stranger to me. Maybe that sounds better than anything else.

“Are we really gonna sleep on the same bed?” I can’t help but have those words slip out of my mind. He doesn’t seem surprised, though. I think he is really expecting me already to ask that to him.

“Look. We’ve already talked about this and I think we both agreed to do it, plus…” He looks at me for a while before continuing. “I’m sorry, but as much as I want to give way to you, I just think I can’t sleep on the floor, and I can’t sleep on the sofa, too. So please?”

I sigh. Just don’t utter the word ‘please’ Lee Taemin. You make me… nevermind.

“Thank you.” He utters again when he sees me moving to the bed without complaints. He moves the blanket and the pillows and I can see he’s trying to make it more convenient for me.

But as I move closer to him I just smell how fresh he is and how good he looks. I stand back again. “I’ll probably just take a quick shower.” I say and he frowns.

“I thought you’re not…”

“People change minds.” I say and rush to the bathroom. I can still hear him chuckling as I enter.

Really, his fresh smell and his vanity are putting me under pressure. I am the woman here, I supposed to look cleaner and smell nicer, right?

I was wishing he’s fast asleep already, but no. He is reading a book with his head leaning on the headboard and his legs extending straight on the bed as I go out. He looks at me shortly, then goes back to his book and reads on.

Silently, I move my way to the other side of the bed and sits on it. Taemin closes the book, puts it on the table beside him, and pulls his blanket as he lies comfortably on the bed. “It’s a long day. Do you mind if I sleep first?”

“Oh, I don’t.” It’s okay, actually. Just go ahead. I don’t think I can sleep tonight with you beside me here.

“Thanks.” He says simply and closes his eyes just like that – as if sleeping with a girl beside him is a very natural thing he does.

Oh, right. I should have known. He normally does this!

Sighing, I look around again and examine the whole room. Just as how I notice before. The room’s atmosphere is not actually as how I perceive Taemin’s personality. This looks so serene, so mysterious, and I don’t know, a bit sad?

Fine, fine, fine, we can never accomplish something if we don’t at least try. So right now, I am just going to do my best to sleep and hopefully ignore the fact that I am sleeping on a man’s bed, and yeah, that man is beside me – sleeping soundly.

30 minutes have roughly passed but I’m still having a hard time sleeping. Really, you can’t blame me. I have never slept with a man beside my dad with my mom as well. I know, I’m trying my best to ignore his existence but every time he moves beside me, I get back to realizing that I am actually with a man.

Turn to the side, turn to the other side, close both eyes, open them once more just to close them back, twist here, twist there. AH! I really can’t do it. I’ll just probably sleep on that sofa. It’s more uncomfortable here than there.

Just when I’m about to stand up, I am surprised when Taemin stands, taking with him his pillow and blanket. “Wh-where are you going?” I say out of surprise.

“I’ll sleep there.” He says while walking towards the sofa. I thought he doesn’t like…

“You said you can’t sleep there because you’re not used to it?” I ask but he only shrugs as he sits on the sofa and starts fixing his pillow.

“But it’s more uncomfortable having someone who can’t stay still on the bed.” He says. It doesn’t sound like he’s complaining but obviously, he is.

“Wait, we can switch place if you want, I mean, this is your bed anyway so I can….”

“Shh… I’m fine, just don’t be too noisy so I can sleep already.” He says and I see him closing his eyes again, trying to start his sleep. I shut my mouth, feeling both shy and apologetic of making him sleep on that sofa. It’s too short and too small for his long and lean body. I just know he will be so uncomfortable there as well.

Lying back on the bed, I turn on my side and notice how I can clearly see Taemin’s angelic face from there.

Did I just say he’s angelic?

But really, he is.

It’s like watching Dannie’s sleeping face. So peaceful and undisturbed, like a child. The dim light could still give glow to his face, and I could see from here that his eyelashes are long and thick. They’re beautiful.

His lips are a bit thick but they are as red as cherries. His cheeks are fluffy and a bit reddish, too.

….

….

Oh, what am I doing?