Niel stared into Namjoo's eyes, quietly, patiently and tried his best to stay calm but clearly he can't. Namjoo just confessed her love to him, to Jun. His only instinct is to have her in his life and at that moment, his eyes are only focusing on her face, narrowed down, he was tempted to kiss her. He wanted her as much as she wanted Jun but that hit him back to reality. Is she trying to make it work with him just to get Jun? He got his thoughts together. 

"I would want Jun to have a mother." Niel confessed. "But I am not sure if you are saying these things to me just to assure you with Jun and when you get him, you're through with me." Niel rubbed his hands on his neck in frustration. "I know I am naive or maybe dumb to you but I have feelings, I think and right now, I feel like I'm just a tool. You can't just treat people like that Namjoo."

Namjoo hesitated. She knew she had feelings for Niel. She was sure why it's him. Because he was the only one who dared to reach out to her when everyone let her disappear into the stupefaction with everyone else. She drifted away but no one pulled her out but he did. He might be young but Niel made it clear to her the other time. He might not know the world yet but he knew her. 

Namjoo wanted to speak but the moment she tried, Jun came out from her house feeling disappointed as he wasn't able to find the snacks. 

"There wasn't any snacks in there." Jun said sadly as he leaned on Niel's thin and long legs. Niel rubbed his hands faintly on Jun's hair and comforted him before lifting him up and walking away from Namjoo. 

"Niel." Namjoo called. "Don't walk out on me." She was crying and it was the most sincere and she said in the most pleading tone she has ever used before all her life. "Everybody did but I can't let you or just see you do that to me."

Niel looked at her and entered the lift.

After Niel sent Jun to the kingdergarten, he went to meet Byunghun and this time he wanted to meet him to discuss seriously about it all. He wanted a friend. This is the first time he felt so helpless. He went to Byunghun's house and he played video games with him at first but unlike the usual, Niel kept on losing the game so badly. He was spacing out and he wasn't even putting in efforts to play the game. 

"Okay you're getting on my nerves. This is not fun playing with you. I keep on winning." Byunghun said as he puts down his joystick feeling annoyed. 

"Don't you like it though? Winning." Niel questioned him. 

"Yea but not when I'm going against a ty player. You're not even trying man. Do you wanna play the game or do you wanna talk. Cause I'm you friend. I know you're not here to on this game cause if you call whatever you did in the game just now, that wasn't playing." Byunghun said frankly being the good friend he is. 

Niel puts down his joystick, got up from the couch and walked to Byunghun's kitchen and took 4 cans of beer and gave it to Byunghun. 

"What is this? You're not the type to drink." 

"Well, there's a lot to take in. I need this. You're gonna need this."

"I'll take a can only. I've got things to do."

Niel told Byunghun about the dramatic night he had when he found out that Jun was really his son and that Namjoo is the mother. He told Byunghun how mad he was when he figured out that Namjoo abandoned Jun to the orphanage and how mad he was when she said she wanted to raise Jun. Niel felt cheated and lied to because it was as if he was the only one who had no idea about it and Namjoo was putting on a show on him and that he felt like a fool to her. However Niel said that he won't feel so mad if he wasn't in love with Namjoo but because he was starting to just give her, his everything into trying to love her but then he was hit by bricks of reality that she fooled him and probably hurt Jun's feelings to know that he had a mother who abandoned him. However Niel told him about how he knew he loved her but was unsure of it now. It was indeed a lot to take in. 

"Look, man." Byunghun took a deep breath. "Let me simplify this for you. I'm gonna summarize 2 parts. First, the reason why you feel angry is because, mostly you care and love Jun and knowing that Namjoo, out of everyone else in the world, was the one who abandoned Jun and you just don't understand the reality of how and why would this all be unveal now and at this crucial moment when you just started to love her. You feel unfair that when you have finally found reasons to love her, you found one reason to hate her and you're taking a thousand steps back." Byunghun took a deep breath again and went to his second point.

"Secondly,  the reason why you feel so sad is that you feel like when Namjoo is now revealed to be Jun's mom, you had a sense of fear that Jun would leave you and go with her. Leaving you to miss him and lose her as well. You need Jun because you know you love him and you need Namjoo because you love her too. You fear losing the both of them if you give chance to Namjoo." Byunghun looks at Niel and smiled. 

"I can't deal with all of these emotions all at once. It's all crumbled together and I just left her in the morning just now. I just pushed her away. I threw her out of my life. Do you know how messed up I am feeling right now?" Niel confessed. 

"Do you know what I think? I think, you should have known better. You pushed her out. Just as simple as that because you can't deal with all of these emotions rushing in and you just decided to not have her because you're just messed up but you are losing her." Byunghun explained. "Knowing you, Ahn Daniel, you make terrible choices under pressure."

"...." Niel was silent. He leaned on the couch to think harder. 

"I'll tell you man. If you keep this doors shut on her.  You will lose yourself in the greed of trying to keep this thing together, trying to have Jun for your own and not letting him have a mother when he already found his. You will just lose him again, and you lose her." Byunghun looked worried for Niel and he took another sip from the beer. "Don't go into this loop man. If you love her, if you love him. Just go to her. You've got nothing to lose if you choose the both of them and not yourself."

Niel knew it was the best decisions. He won't have to let go of anyone that way. 

"You can't always think about ourselves now, Niel. We're adults now. There's always gonna be someone else we put before ourselves. Hurt a little, suffer a bit and just get on with it." He finished his drink and look at Niel, who was looking at him smiling. 

"I've already had Jun's priorities set above me." Niel smiled. "He was a changing point for me."

"I knew that." Byunghun smiled. 

"Yah, I never knew I'd even have a useful friend for this. You're a great listener man." Niel smiled earnestly. 

"It's cause I hate you playing a ty game." Byunghun got up and turned off the game. "Now, would you please excuse me, this friend of yours needs some growing up to do and get myself ready to work." Niel put on a shocked face as Byunghun took the empty cans and laughed. "Unlike you, who take a giant leap into adulthood by having a baby, I am keeping it nice and slow. Baby steps." Both of them laughed.

Niel made his way to Namjoo's office but when he arrived, her secretary said she didn't show up this morning. Niel walked out in disappointment but as he was about to give up, he saw the garden. He had a feeling she might just be there and he was right. She was staring into the nothingness, she looked sad. The saddest she has ever looked. Even when Niel approached her, she didn't realize his presence.

"It's very unusual of you to ditch work." Niel said awkwardly but it made Namjoo felt a lot better seeing him.

"I just, had... a lot to think." She said softly.

"I know." Niel looked at her. "Me too." Niel approached her slowly and sat next to her. 

"I shouldn't have built this garden that you proposed. It's ugly during the day." She tried to make a joke. "It's only pretty at night."

"Are you trying to make a joke cause for someone who makes a really great joke, that, I can say is a very bad one. It's embarassing. Please don't give humour a bad name." Niel tried to get her to laugh. 

"I know you hate me for whatever I did. I'm a cold hearted person who abandoned her son and suddenly popped out of nowhere and you think I want him back again all of a sudden." Their laugh from the joke disappeared. 

"I don't think you're bad. You had your reasons and at the circumstances of the events back at that time, you must have only thought it was the only way." Niel said finally understanding her. "You lost your friends, your happiness, your son and by doing so you lost yourself." Niel said. "You must have been so lonely for the last few years." Niel said.

Namjoo cried instantly, unable to comphrehend all of the feelings she was feeling inside. Niel turned to her and hugged her. 

"But who am I to judge? I did the same thing to you." Niel said while he was hugging Namjoo who hugged him back and continued crying. Niel continued to comfort her for the next few minutes. He gave such an assuring hug and kissed her on her head and it made Namjoo felt safe. 

Niel pulled Namjoo from the hug and looked into her eyes and decided to go with his instinct and kissed her lips. Her cheeks were still wet from the tears. It was tears that Namjoo kept to herself for years and the kiss broke all her walls that she put up years ago. The kiss felt like the most sincere, kiss she has ever had. The kind of assurance she felt from him and she knew she really loves him. They got into the kiss deeper and deeper. They felt like all the feelings they hide from each other were all gone. 

Niel breaks the kiss and smiled. They didn't need words to describe it or to say what they wanted to say, they already knew it. 

"Let's just raise Jun together." Niel said.

===================================================================

I am one hell of a ty writer. I didn't realize it was exactly a year (plus a few days) since I updated this fanfic and I hereby, give you the rights to hate me.... I am so sorry but I kinda forgot about this but please stay with me till the end. I can assure you that ! :) Thank you for reading. Please comment ^^