Finally, it’s here. Jamie trembled slightly as Mr. Lee turned off the blasting CD player. It marked exactly 3 months she had been here and also her first monthly examination. She was spared two months due to her newly admitted status. After 3 months, they deemed her ready enough for the examination. Therefore the girl was sitting in her usual practice room stiffly as each trainees were called to present themselves. Some sang, some danced while some did both. In her case, she had to prepare both since they wanted to evaluate her and somehow ranked her among existing trainees.

“Hey,” A tap on her shoulder snapped Jamie out of her stupor. “it’s going to be fine.”

An assuring smile from the older girl did less in calming her down but she managed to flashed In Hye a tight appreciating smile. In Hye went further as to grab her trembling hands. It surprised her but pleasantly. She squeezed In Hye’s hand, noticing the girl was slightly nervous too. It made Jamie chuckled, for her effort to comfort Jamie whilst she was no less nervous.

“Lee In Hye!” Mr. Lee called.

His volume startled both girls. Jamie looked at In Hye in worry, seeing how the older girl gulped. It made Jamie nervous for her friend though she knew In Hye was very talented. With their still entwined hand, In Hye stood up with slightly shaky legs. Looking down at her younger friend, In Hye chewed her lips as her hand tightened its grip. Jamie smiled and mouthed ‘you’re the best’ before letting go of her hands. In Hye laughed lightly and walked to the front.

The judging panel included Mr. Lee, their dance instructor; Shim Jae Won, one of SM top choreographers; Jang Jin Young, one of the top vocal trainers. They wore pretty grim expressions which made In Hye sweat despite having not danced yet.

They took their time with the papers, worsen In Hye’s nerves. Her hands were clamped together behind her back. Suddenly, Mr. Lee spoke without looking up, made In Hye jumped slightly at her spot.

“Lee In Hye. You have prepared “Clockwork” by Lim Jeong Hye?”

“Ne, seongsaeng-nim.” In Hye gulped, nerves kicking in because singing was not her strong point.

“When you’re ready.”

“Ne.” In Hye replied as she in a big breath. After doing basic breathing exercise, In Hye nodded in the direction of the keyboard player. A soft melody started and In Hye’s grip on the microphone also tightened. Her voice came out a little shaky at first but she managed to hit all the notes and ended the song in with a good note. Jamie grinned proudly at her friend. When the girl looked back, she flashed her two thumbs up and a toothy smile. Both trainees and judges clapped after her performance. Judge Jin Young even looked at her with a small encouraging smile. You’ve improved. He seem to say.

“Okay, let’s move on to your dance performance.” Mr. Lee announced.

“Ne.” In Hye nodded as she gave the microphone to one of the technicians. Getting into position, she signaled the technician to start. As music cue, a different glint took over In Hye’s eyes while a smirk made its way to her face. Gliding through the rhythm, In Hye rendered everyone in the room speechless with her sharp but fluid movements. She looked effortless doing an amazing tumbling. She looked effortless as her feet moved to the beat. She looked effortless when she delivered the final move with legs split vertically on the floor.

In awe, Jamie clapped loudly before series of claps and hoots filled the practice room. In Hye quickly stood up and bowed. She glanced at Jamie briefly to see the girl laughed and jumped on her feet.

“You’re awesome!” She screamed through the noise.

Mr. Lee seemed to have heard the girl as he chuckled. Clapping his hands together, he asked the trainees to quiet down. It was time for the judges’ feedbacks.

“You definitely showed your strength as a dancer. You were confident. You know what you were doing. It was fun to watch.” SM’s top choreographers commented, pleased with In Hye’s performance. “As for singing, though not specializing in vocal, I could tell you need some work. Your beginning was shaky; the high notes sounded a little strained; your falsetto was a little off too. But overall a job well done. Keep it up.”

“Ne. Kamsahamnida.” In Hye bowed.

“I don’t know much about dancing so I’ll evaluate your singing.” Mr. Jang chuckled.

In Hye couldn’t help but chuckled as well. “Ne.”

“Honestly, it’s not that great. Your vocals are still very unstable. Your voice strained a little throughout the song which I suspected from practicing too much. Like Jae Won has actually said, you need a lot of work. You need to improve your breathing. You need to be able to open up your voice even more. That could be done by practicing mouth exercises. You could consult me or other vocal teachers anytime you have a problem. But all in all, you have improved so much compares to 3 months ago. It’s great to see you work so hard. Keep it up!” Mr. Jang smiled as he did a ‘hwaiting’ pose with his arm.

In Hye laughed slightly before bowing to him and the other two judges. Trudging back her seat, In Hye grin widened as Jamie opened her arms for a hug. Hugging her friend tightly, Jamie patted her on the back.

“You did great In Hye.” Jamie laughed fondly.

“Thanks.” In Hye smiled.

“You should have seen Sarah’s face.” Jamie snickered, recalling said girl’s annoyance when the whole room gave her astounding applauses. “She looked like she’ve been constipated for days.”

In Hye chuckled lightly in reply. “A pity I missed such a golden moment.”

“Don’t worry. She will continue to show such face as long as you’re around.”

“You’re overexegeratting.” In Hye shook her head in amusement but flattered to have received such praises from another person.

“I’m so not.” Jamie huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I could never dance like you. I have two left leg I swear.”

“You’re not as bad as you made yourself out to be Jamie.” In Hye reassured. It’s frustrating to see Jamie so skeptical about her abilities. Besides she did better ever since Sehun helped her, In Hye joined in the training afterwards as well. She saw Jamie’s dancing improved drastically. The small girl worked her off, knowing where her weakness lied. So In Hye saw for her, nothing to be worried about. After all, good things comes to people who earned them. And Jamie deserved it.

“Jamie Nguyen!” Mr. Lee loud booming voice snapped both girls out of their trance.

Fear settled in Jamie’s eyes as she realized her turn had come. Noticing her rigid posture, In Hye cupped Jamie’s face and squished her cheeks together.

“You can do it. I know you can.” In Hye stated sternly as she stared into Jamie’s wary eyes. “You can do splits for two weeks, fight off a hordes of gangster, kick Sarah’s . There is no reason why you can’t nail a routine. I’ve watched your practice. Sehun has as well. You will be just fine. You can do this.”

The same wary eyes stared straight at In Hye, trying to register everything that had been say. Jamie knew. She had worked so hard. She had skipped meals for the sake of overcoming her weakness. She had endured the pain for weeks continuously. Therefore there was no reason why she couldn’t do this.

Taking In Hye’s hands off her face, Jamie flashed her a grateful smile. “Thank you.” She muttered, playing with her friend’s long fingers. “I don’t think I’ve told you this. But I want to thank you for many things. You are an awesome friend. Among the most awesome friends I’ve ever had.”

Grinning, Jamie stood up. She gave In Hye a final smile before stalking to the middle of the room. Now she could feel how nerve wrecking it was to stand at this spot. This terrifying spot. The spot which was the destination for many stares, many whispers. The spot where Jamie would, for the first time, revealed her voice. Her voice that not even her best friend In Hye had yet to hear. Her voice that only Mr. Jang had heard. And the said man was currently looking at her with soft eyes. He knew her abilities since he was the one who recommended the company to accept her. But his expectant eyes only made her even more nervous. She felt the burden weighting her down despite had not done a thing.

“So Jamie ssi. You have prepared a dance a performance as well?” Mr. Shim raised his eyebrows in surprise, knowing dancing was not her forte. Since 3 months was not enough to improve your dancing when you couldn’t even move accordingly.

“Ne. I thought I should show you that I could pick up new skills besides what I already have.”  Jamie replied with surprise ease. Maybe somewhere inside her already decided she was going to stop being a worry-wart and low-esteem person. Her resolution was set. She’s gonna give all she got.

“That’s very brave.” Mr. Shim smiled though suddenly his face turned grim. “But brave doesn’t mean we would evaluate your performance differently. Keep that in mind.”

“Yes, sir.” Jamie said loud and clear. She never expected them to go easy on her. They already gave her some slack ever since she came. Now that she’s finally adapted to life here, she should be treated like all other trainees.

“You know the drill. Sing first then dance. When you’re ready.” Mr. Lee announced.

“Ne.”

Looking at her file, Shim Jae Won was surprised to see her choice of song for her singing performance. Whispering to Jin Young, Jae Won tried to keep his expression under control.

“Is she actually brave or just stupid?”

“I’m sure she’s none of those. She knows where her abilities are.” Jin Young whispered back. “On the second thought, she’s kinda brave. But definitely not stupid.”

Skeptical, Jae Won slowly returned to his position. Scanning the girl from head to toe, he couldn’t understand why other teachers and trainers within the company were so fond of this petite tanned girl. She had an average face, body as well as gestures. She didn’t give off the feeling he would get from a potential star. She’s too normal for everybody to coddle over. And today was a good chance for him to see why.

The girl looked at the technician, testing her microphone before nodded at the keyboard player. Clearing , she positions the mic as the music played. It was silent within the practice room. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel the expectation and curiosity from her audience. She knew they don’t expect much but people are curious beings. She knew some stayed hoping they could see how bad she would be. Amidst the silence, the sound of door opening could be heard. Jamie was snapped out of her concentration. She cursed the intruders whilst glaring at the door. A smile spread onto her lips when she saw a turf of brown hair peeked in, followed by big curious eyes. Sehun slipped inside as quietly as possible and returned an equally bright smile. The next face she saw though made her heart thudded extremely fast. She remembered the feeling. That all so familiar feeling when she first met him. Her heart beat so fast against her ribcage she thought it would burst.

Tao

The remnants of those heartbeats, however, were no longer tingles and butterflies. It ached. She could feel her stomach twisted and turned painfully at his presence. She was reminded of how he hurt her; how he had her fooled; how he didn’t love her back. But she was also reminded of how much she loved him; how much she longed for him; how much she still loved him. She failed to realize how she still longed for him, for him to scoop her into his arms, for him to give her comforting kisses, for him to finally love her. She dug herself an abyss and she kept falling into it.

“Jamie?”

Jin Young’s voice snapped her out of it. She noticed how the music kept playing and how big of a scowl that was resting on Sehun’s face.

“Huh?”

“You missed the beat. Wanna start over?” He offered, looking worried and confused at the same time.

Her eyes still stuck on Tao who looked back at her with his dark-rimmed eyes. Those eyes lost their sparks. Like Tao who look haggard and tired. His lips twitched up into a smile that seem extremely forced. Jamie didn’t smile back.

“I’m sorry. I would like to start over.”

Other trainees were too focused onto the handsome males’ presence to notice a single tear that escaped her eye. Bowing her head, Jamie pulled herself together just in time for the music to start over from the beginning.

She thought of closing her eyes. She thought of cutting Tao’s presence off from her world.

Looking up, she met his eyes. A painful tug of her heart did it. She remained staring straight at him, waiting for the right beat.

This time. I’ll tell you how I really feel.

"Fate" by Lee Sun Hee

Promise me that when this moment's over and we meet again
That we can put everything in the past and stand by each other

This is what we call fate, it's something we can't deny
Will I ever experience another day as glorious as today?

You're a gift upon this exhausting path of life
I'll continuously wash and shine our love so it won't rust away
Our meeting was short like a drunken affair, but it was real

Even though this cannot last, I won't resent it because nothing is forever
This is what we call fate, it's something we can't deny
Will I ever experience another day as glorious as today?

There's so much i want to say, but you probably already know
When we meet again some time in the future
Please don't let go again
The love we couldn't have in this life
The fate we couldn't live in this life

When we meet again some time in the future
Please don't let go of me

As she lowered her mic, Jamie eyes remained glued to Tao’s whose was reddened with unshed tears. Apologies. His eyes tried to conveyed.

Disconnecting the painful connection, she could finally see the surprised look on her fellow trainees’ face. Their jaws were dropped in complete astonishment. Scanning the crowd, Jamie could see how In Hye was grinning so widely, nearly all her teeth were visible. Jamie could see how Sarah’s clique scowled so hard their ugly face twisted. She could see how Sehun looked so proud and satisfied. He seem to know she could do it, blowing the crowd away.

Jae Won was immensely pleased, to say the least. Jin Young nearly laughed loudly at his friend’s awestruck face. He knew the small girl was easily judged. Because he as well regarded her appearance over talent. That was until he heard her.

“Ready for your dance performance?” Mr. Lee asked, breaking her gaze away from Sehun.

Swallowing a big chunk of her saliva, Jamie replied before giving the mic back to the technician. Now that singing was over. Her nerves kicked in again. Getting into position, she tried to recall all the moves Sehun had taught her. Mind refreshed as music started to play. Looking at Sehun and In Hye one last time, ignoring Tao’s lingering gaze on her, Jamie got into the first beat.

Muscles’ memories kicked in as she moved to the music. Her eyes followed her own movements as she occasionally glanced at Sehun. She could feel how at ease she was, dancing in front of so many people. Those who would jeered at her daily for being a bad dancer. Sehun, on the other of the room, had on a very proud smile, witnessing how Jamie listened to everything he had said. Nerves slowly disappeared as she enjoyed to fast rhythm of the song. Jamie felt confident and added in a few changes of her own. Even she was surprised with herself.

As the track ended, Jamie was sure she chose the right path. 

Author's Note

A bit longer than the length I usually wrote but I suspected that was due to the long lyrics part. I tried to write bit by bit whenever I'm free so I apologized if there is any awkwardness in this chapter. Uni just started but it's already killing me. I'm covered by projects and assignments I could hardly breath. I really hope I could take some time off to write the next chapter. I don't like losing touch with both my story and writing. 

Well it's pretty late already (when I wrote this), so Imma sleep now. Toodles guys and cya soon! :3