Tao opened his heavy lidded eyes, squinting due to the brightness of his surroundings.

Where am I? It’s white everywhere. He groaned as his head throbbed when he tried to up. Bad idea.

Taking in his surroundings, it didn’t take long for the male to realize he’s in the hospital. And he hated hospitals. His scowl was replaced with a bright smile as Jamie’s messy hair came to view. Her purple locks sprawled out, making a nice contrast with the white sheets. Her head was propped onto her folded arms as little snores could be heard. Laughing at the ridiculous but cute apple hairstyles the girl sported, Tao lifted a hand to run it through her soft hair. The girl stirred lightly, leaning towards her source of comfort. He chuckled when Jamie mumbled in her sleep, eyebrows furrowed in displease. She probably has a not very pleasant dream while grunting incoherent words, somewhere between ‘’ and ‘worry’.

This wasn’t the first time Tao out all of the sudden. He’s used to it. But Jamie must freak out when she heard and he felt sorry for worrying her over nothing. He kept running his hand through her hair, loving the feeling more and more. Slowly, he didn’t realized he had leaned in, stopping 2 inches in front of Jamie’s face as he hesitantly placed a small peck on her nose. When he pulled away, she blinked her eyes open, beaming despite her scratchy voice.

“Sunbae, you’re awake.”

“I am.” Tao returned a brighter smile, patting her head. “Does it hurt? Your neck?”

Jamie groaned as she flexed her sore neck, massaging the tired muscles for a good measure. That should work for now.

“It’s a little sore but it’s okay. What important is you sunbae. How are you feeling? Headache? Nauseous? Anything?” Jamie asked worriedly, placing her hand onto his forehead.

“No, I am fine. No headache. No nausea. Nothing.” He chuckled, taking Jamie’s hand, pulling her into a surprised hug.

Mildly shocked, Jamie blushed as Tao buried his face into the crook of her neck, humming in satisfaction. The girl slowly reciprocated, wrapping her arms around his neck, threading her fingers between his jet black strands.

“You smell so nice.” Tao murmured as his lips brushed against her neck, sending shivers throughout her body.

“You will smell nice too if you take a bath sunbae.” She laughed.

Pulling back, Tao pouted when Jamie laughed harder.  “Meanie. You can’t treat a patient like this.”

“I’m sorry.” Jamie said in a baby voice, cupping his face and squished his cheeks together.

“But it’s true though.” She giggled then stuck out her tongue before laughing again, leaping out of Tao’s arms before he could tickle her.

“Cheater! Come back here!” Tao shouted from the bed, watching Jamie ran away towards the room entrance, giggling as she yelled back.

“Imma go get some food. I bet your stomach will growl anytime soon.”

“It’s not-” He was cut off as a loud rumble echoed through the small room.

“I’ll be back! Be a good boy.” She sang song, chuckling lightly between each words.

Tao swore he could still hear her giggles 5 mins later.

Half an hour later, Tao’s ear perked up as the sound of the door slid open. Food is here! He silently cheered. His eyebrows furrowed though when Jamie came back with a companion.

The youngsters set down a portion of Korean bento and a bottle of orange juice for their dear patient. Tao’s face lit up at the sight of his first breakfast-in-bed except it’s past 10. Well it’s first meal of the day so he’d consider it breakfast. Sighing contentedly as soon as he took the first bite, the youngers rolled their eyes at their dramatic older friend.

“Hyung, it’s not like you’ve never eaten a bento before.”

“Shut it, Oh Sehun. Try fainting as much as I do. You’ll know what it feels like to take the first bite of food after a day without any.”

Tao picked up a piece of rolled eggs, putting it in front of Jamie with a smile, signaling her to open up. Without much time for her to react, Sehun quickly stole it.

“Hey!” Tao exclaimed, frowning in slight anger but the boy merely shrugged, chewing happily.

“It’s okay sunbae. I don’t like eggs.” She spoke softly and smiled.

“Doesn’t mean he could just snatch it.” Tao snarled.

“If I say anything, you would take it back so...” Sehun meekly grinned.

“You knew she doesn’t like eggs?” Tao raised his eyebrows, masking his suspicion with surprise.

Chuckling, Jamie nodded. “Yea it’s a part of our deal. Each shared something about themselves if they lose in Stop and Go.”

“We’re on the road of getting along.” Sehun grinned proudly while pulling Jamie into a half-embrace by her shoulders.

Jamie pinched Sehun’s side which made the boy yelped in pain, letting go of the girl immediately. “What did I tell you about touching me?” She growled.

“Touche.” Sehun pursed his lips in a childlike manner, sneaking a few glances at Tao which the boy quickly recognized as jealousy.

 “Well, you boys have a great time. I got vocal practice to go to.” Jamie announced as she slung her backpack over her shoulders. Smiling, the girl managed to steal a shrimp tempura from the bento, gingerly propped it into before leaving.

“I like shrimp.”

The males stared at the small figure as she slowly disappeared out of their views. They both chuckled at the same time before stopping upon realizing what they did.

Clearing his throat, Tao asked. “Sooo did the others know I’m here?”

“Yea. They came here as soon as possible when I called them, Jamie too. We stayed until we were shooed away by the nurses. Suho hyung was about to stay back but Jamie insisted in staying so he caved in. Of course not after she flashed those puss-in-boots eyes.” Sehun laughed but somehow he sounded unsettling like the laugh was meant to cover up his feelings.

“How about dance practice?”

“As you can see, we couldn’t attend. Me with my bruised nose and you with getting stuck here for at least 3 days.” The boy said nonchalantly, voice void of any emotion.

Tao’s stomach clenched and twisted uncomfortably at the boy’s cold attitude. Normally he would coax the boy in telling him what’s wrong except he knew exactly what’s wrong this time.

Tao gulped. “Sehun I-“

“It’s okay hyung.” Sehun cut him off immediately, like he knew what his hyung was going to say, sighing. “I know she likes you. Just ignore me.”

“You know I can’t do that Sehun.” Tao muttered.

“She likes you. You like her. It settles hyung. I don’t have a chance hyung.” Sehun lowered his head, looking away to avoid eye contact.

The room turned deadly silent as both boys ceased the conversation, staring into space. Sehun with his solemn expression, Tao with his worried and what seem to be guilt.

Sehun suddenly snapped his head back at his hyung’s directions, startling the older boy.

“Don’t tell me...” Sehun gritted his teeth as his mind put the pieces together.

“W-What?” Tao stammered.

“You seem oddly calm when I told you she likes you. Don’t tell me... You knew?” Sehun sneered, glaring at his hyung with anger.

“K-knew? Knew w-what?”

“So that’s why you said you’re sorry...” Sehun mumbled lowly.

“Sehun-”

“DON’T PLAY WITH ME HYUNG!” Sehun shouted. “YOU KNEW SHE LIKES YOU BUT YOU TURN A BLIND EYE! HOW CAN YOU DO THAT HYUNG?! I THOUGHT YOU LIKE HER AS WELL!!”

“Sehun. Calm down.” Tao softly said.

“Calm down.” Sehun laughed. “YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN??! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN HYUNG??!!! HOW CAN YOU DO THAT TO HER? YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS WHEN SOMEONE YOU LIKE HUG YOU, SMILE AT YOU WHILE YOU TRY TO KEEP IT ALL DOWN. IT HURTS LIKE HYUNG! I COULDN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT TO JAMIE! YOU SAID YOU LIKE HER WHY DIDN’T YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT???!!”

“Are you done?” Tao asked as Sehun breathed heavily from both anger and exhaustion from all the shouting.

Sighing, Tao motioned Sehun to sit down. Though reluctantly, the boy sat down, still glaring at Tao who had his head lowered, tried to ignore the hatred the younger directed towards him.

“I’m sorry.” Tao breathed, closing his eyes.

“You’re sorry? How funny.” Sehun scoffed.

“Just listen to me Sehun. Will you?” Tao asked weakly.

The younger shut up and folded his arms in front of his chest, waiting for a proper explanation.

“I knew from the start.” Tao started. “I knew she likes me probably earlier than any of you, now that I assume everyone else knows. I like her. A lot. It’s just...”

“Just what?”

Tao sighed. It’s now or never Tao. The truth.

“It’s not the same.”

“What is not the same? Hyung you need to say something I could understand.” Sehun groaned impatiently, leaning forward with his elbows ontop of his knees.

“I want to keep her to myself Sehun. I want nobody else to touch her. But I realized that I don’t feel the same way she does. I love her a lot. But my heart doesn’t speed up when I’m with her. No blushing, no fidgeting, nothing of that sort. You don’t know how happy I felt when I knew how she felt for me. I could feel my heart explode with happiness. I felt wanted, loved, like I’m worth something. Worth loving. Worth caring about. I wanted to return that feeling but I couldn’t. It felt wrong to taking advantage of her so I decided to be a little selfish until I could tell her. It’s just so hard to let go of someone who love me and care for me to the extend that she does. I don’t want our relationship to crumble to the floor just because of how she felt for me.”

It’s deadly silence between the two males. Tao glanced at Sehun who kept his gaze solely on his clenced fist. If his heart didn’t speed up for Jamie, it certainly did now. His head throbbed painfully while his ears slowly got buzzy. It’s silent but Tao felt like several noises were messing with his mind.

“Say something Sehun.” He croaked.

The younger boy didn’t say anything instead he snapped and stood up, turning away from his hyung. The older boy eyes widened at his dongsaeng’s sudden outburst. He tried calling out for Sehun but the boy waved his hand in dismissal.

“Se-”

“No, hyung.” Sehun said, voice cold as ice. “I don’t think anything you say now will help.”

Tao looked down in dejection and shame. I ruin everything. He bit his lip as tear threatened to roll down his cheeks.

“But let me tell you something hyung.” Sehun spoke lowly, back still facing Tao causing the said male to look up.

“I hate you hyung for doing that to Jamie. But what make me even more upset is your doubts in us. It’s been six months hyung but I felt like I don’t even know who you are right now. We are all aware of what you’ve been through. We knew all about it. We tried to make you feel comfortable, that you have a place, that you feel love. I’m so disappointed that all this time you would feel like you need more than us. I’m not saying I’m jealous Jamie is more than all of us combined or she in anyway hurts our relationship. It’s just painful to know that all this time we failed to make you feel enough love.”  Sehun breathed shakily.

From his voice, Tao knew his dongsaeng was trying to keep himself from crying too. It’s disappointing, frustrating and mostly heartbreaking confession. He didn’t mean for this to happen. And it’s his fault everything was falling apart uncontrollably. He didn’t notice the tears running down until he tasted the saltiness. Looking up, Sehun was slowly leaving, dragging himself towards the door while wiping his shedding tears as well.

“J-Jamie.”

No. Tao swallowed. No. Please. Not her.

“W-what are you doing h-here?” Tao could hear Sehun asked, trying to keep his voice leveled.

“O-oh. W-we didn’t h-have v-vocal practice t-today so I- uh c-came back a-after buying s-some b-bubble tea. B-but s-since you g-guys a-are busy, I will j-just uh you k-know leave n-now.” She stammered in a trembling voice.

“J-Jamie. You k-know we- uh. The t-thing is y-you see-” Sehun sputtered, trying to piece together his own unstable mind. Jamie though, bolted before the boy had a chance to explain.

“PLEASE! JAMIE! WAIT!” Sehun shouted.

Burying his face in the palm of his hands, Tao’s shoulder shook violently as he sobbed.

I ruin everything.

Everything. 

Author's Note

I'm doing a double update this week but the other chapter is still in progress. It will be available shortly. Thanks for the wait guys~ I hope you would give me more feedback. I like criticism, oddly. *laughs* I feel like a M. *laughs again* Toodles~