For Naeun0304 + datzme + gidiforever

Iris (Forget-Me-Not Pt. 2)

For every day that Naeun was in hospital, Jongin stayed right by her bedside, only returning home when she insisted or he had other errands to run. He would sleep on the couch by the window, or fall asleep sitting down in the chair by her bed, usually holding her hand. He would usually wake up first, or find her staring down at him, with that same expressionless face. Every day, he would tell her stories of their relationship, and every day, she would put on a smile and nod at everything he said. Every day she would apologise to him and every day he would say that it was alright and it just took time. Every day he told her he loved her and every day she would look up at him with those sorry eyes and tell him that she would try harder. Every day his heart broke a little bit more, not because she didn’t remember him, but because she looked like a broken person who didn’t know who to turn to for help. He would always reassure her that he was there for her, but she never responded. The only thing that consoled him was that she had pressed the forget-me-not into a book and would look at it every day hoping that it would miraculously conjure up all the memories of him.

It had been a week, and Naeun was about to get discharged. When the doctor gave the good news, Naeun asked one question.

“Where will I go?”

The doctor turned to Jongin.

“You live with him.”

Naeun nodded her head and then looked down. When the doctor left the room, Jongin sat down beside her.

“If you don’t want to stay with me, I can call your parents…”

“No. I’ll go with you. Maybe being in the apartment with you will bring back my memories.”

“I just want you to be comfortable…”

“I’m comfortable around you…”

“It doesn’t seem that way. It’s like you can’t even look at me but you’re happy when you’re around your friends and your parents…”

“I just…don’t want you to get hurt anymore…”

“I’m not hurt…”

“You are hurting…I know that when you look at me you’re in pain. Your eyes…get darker…you’re grieving for the girl you lost…”

“I didn’t lose you…you’re alive…”

“I’m alive, but I can’t even remember you…”

“You’ll get your memory back…”

Those words trailed off of Jongin’s mouth like a whisper, a hope that he thought the air would carry around so that the heavens, or whatever, could just grant him this one wish.

“I just want you to be comfortable…”

“I’m comfortable around you…even if I think I’ve only known you for a week, my heart feels calm when I’m around you…like I know you…somehow…”

Naeun said this with a more determined tone and Jongin nodded.

“Okay.”

Later that night, Naeun was finally discharged from the hospital. The car ride home was silent, and Naeun was busy looking out of the window as Jongin concentrated on the road. He opened the door to the apartment, looking for any hints of recognition on Naeun’s face, but there was none.

“The decorations look like something I would do…”

“When we first moved in here, you insisted everything to be done your way. Who was I to say no?”

She nodded and then sat on the sofa.

“Are you hungry? I don’t think there’s food in the fridge but we can order some…if you want…”

“Sure. You can order what you want. I’ll have the same as you…”

“Is Jajangmyun alright?”

Again, she nodded wordlessly. When the food arrived they also ate in silence and when they had finished eating, they sat in silence. Naeun yawned.

“You must be tired. You can go to bed if you want…”

He stood up and led Naeun to the bedroom and then showed her where her pyjamas were.

“Aren’t you going to sleep as well?”

“I will.”

“Where are you going?”

“To set up the couch…”

“You can sleep here.”

“No, you sleep there…”

“I meant…sleep next to me…”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He laid in bed next to her, although they slept with their backs to each other. They repeated this for the next month. Naeun’s physical condition had gone back to normal, and she was trying to follow a regular routine, but her memories still hadn’t returned. However, she was grateful to Jongin, who was nothing but patient towards her. He always thought of her first and only did the things that she was comfortable with. On a few occasions, their hands would brush or he would guide her in the direction of some place and place his hands on her shoulders. In these times, Naeun felt like she couldn’t breathe. She didn’t remember who he was, but her she knew that her heart recognised him. It recognised his touch, his scent, and sometimes, in the back of her mind, she felt hazy pictures come to light. She was attracted to him, and she felt like she was falling for him.

On one rainy day, she had forgotten an umbrella. She decided to wait out the rain, but it was getting late and she decided to go home. She was about to walk out, when someone called her name. It was Jongin. He came with that perfect smile and an umbrella. They were walking to the car, which he had to park two streets away since many people brought their car to work. Naeun had broken a heel and Jongin piggy-backed her and carried all her bags and held the umbrella over them. He was absolutely soaked when thery got into the car, but she was dry. He removed his shirt because it was all wet, and Naeun couldn’t help but look at his muscles. He cracked a smile and a witty remark about how flustered she was and how red her face had gotten, and she blushed even further. They had gotten closer that night and they slept facing each other after that.

Naeun had found out from her friend that it was the anniversary of when they first met. Naeun felt guilty about not remembering still, but decided that they should celebrate the occasion. She planned to cook for him and then confess to him how she felt. Jongin returned to the apartment to the smell of spaghetti. When he walked into the kitchen, he found Naeun waiting for him.

“What’s this for?”

“I found out that today was an anniversary of when we first met.”

“You didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to do something for you…even if…you know…”

He saw the sad smile on her lips and he went up to her and gave her a hug and pulled out her chair.

“Let’s eat?”

“Ne.”

They ate with easy conversation flowing between the two of them and Naeun worked up the courage to open up her heart to him.

“I have a present for you.”

She presented him with an iris.

“It means faith. Thank you for believing in me…and taking care of me…I know it’s been hard on you but I’m thankful that you’re patient with me.”

“It’s because I love you…”

“I know and I want to thank you for that love…”

“I’m always here for you…”

Naeun grabbed his hands.

“I don’t love you in the deep way you love me…but I have feelings for you…and I like you…a lot…and it might even be love…I want you to know that I believe in you. And I want this relationship to work. And even if I don’t get my memory back, I want to promise you and I want you to promise me that we’ll make new memories together.”

Jongin couldn’t help himself and gave Naeun a kiss.

“I guess I should get used to you doing that?”

“You should, because I miss touching you…I love you…”

“Thank you…”

“And…I believe in us too…”