wooww.. Elf_Gengfan oppa made cool awesome poster and background poster for chili. this post is presented for you. /huggle/

 Junsu feels guilty. He couldn’t sleep well and rolls everywhere on the floor in his room. Changmin hasn’t eaten his dinner and he made Changmin hurt with what he has said about not hugging Junsu. He couldn’t help it though. It was now or never. He was indeed asleep on the guest sofa in Ji hyo’s hotel room. Ji Hyo woke him up and forced him to have dinner with her. She gave Junsu a hearty lecture about Junsu’s choices. Junsu chose to live in Greyfair. Far from FortBax and further from Cameborie. Ji hyo encouraged him to start anew, really start everything anew which means no more past nighmare of Junho’s death and the Kims divorce. He reluctantly agreed with the young woman. Ji hyo always has a step ahead of vision and future view from most people her age. Junsu remembered how Ji hyo was one of the very few people who believed that Junsu didn’t kill Junho. Very few. She didn’t blame Junsu even if Junsu did kill Junho. Perhaps it’s because Ji hyo wasn’t that much older than him.

      “You always avoid talking about Changmin other than your temporary third hand custody responsibility.” Ji hyo scowled. “Let me refresh the past two days. First, you made time and effort to go to his school festival for his birthday when we knew you should accompany me to put up with the years you gone missing from my radar.”

Junsu ignored his far far relative.

      “Second, when you took me to your flat, you nagged him to have dinner while we all knew the most desirable menu for his dinner was me. Boy, those eyes eating me alive.” Ji hyo whistled. “And now, you come all the way to my hotel because you don’t know how to tell him not to do physical contact with you without hurting him. Haha, Junsu. How old are you again?”

      “Mongji..

      “Dolphin.. oops. I forgot the dolphin was long gone dead.” Ji hyo sneered. “You were so cute and lovable back then. Now you look more like ghost of past cute squishy dolphin.” She complained.

      “Changmin doesn’t love me.” Junsu started, sighing heavily. “He’s just thankful and he finds me as someone who cares for him like Yunho and his other friends. I just happen to be closer to him because we live together.” He reasoned. The same reason he told himself over and over whenever Changmin beams seeing him.

      “I won’t argue with your useless dense mind and brain about Changmin. What I really want to hear is your honest feeling. You like him at least. I know it’s hard for you to submit to something big like love. You like him, don’t you?”

Junsu was silent for some moments.

      “He’s nineteen.”

      “Is there any law forbidding people to like a nineteen year old tall handsome boy?”

      “It’s not-

      “Look, Junsu.” Ji hyo raised his hand in annoyance. “You don’t have to admit it aloud to me. I’m just someone around not for long. Being honest to yourself is the most crucial. Like granny told us. It’s alright to hate Junho because you simply hate it. It’s acceptable. It’s alright to love Changmin just because you love him. No reasons, no complicated long explanations or no bull about your past accident. Changmin had told you he believed in you not killing Junho. Why don’t you use a little bit of his big heart and bravery to be honest with yourself?”

Ji hyo is right. Junsu likes Changmin. Likes the tall boy much more than like. Likes his way making Junsu does things Changmin asks. Likes his spontaneous sentences and actions. Likes his pair of sharp dark brown eyes. Likes his pouting faces when Junsu tells him something Changmin disagrees but complies. Likes ruffling Changmin’s hair. Likes hearing the steps of Changmin’s long legs walking or running to him. likes Changmin’s high yelling when the tall student is making his opinion heard. Likes watching Changmin eating fast, not as fast as the first weeks they started sharing the flat.

Junsu gives up his attempt to invite sleep coming to him. He steps out from his room and sees Changmin’s bedroom’s door is left open. He walks carefully to the door and pays a peek inside. The room is such a pig bar mess. Did a war just broke and took place in it when Junsu was trying to sleep in the next room? Did Changmin vent his hurt by throwing everything in his room? He reaches the door knob and closes the door quietly.

      “Don’t close it!”

Junsu’s hand closing the door halts. He looks further and finds an awful looking Changmin sit squatting in the corner of the room.

      “Why are you still awake?” Junsu feels a small scratch cuts his inside when he meets Changmin’s eyes in the darkness of the room. Not too dark as they can see each other’s shadow well.

      “Don’t close it, Junsu. I don’t want you leaving the flat when I sleep and not coming home for days anymore.” the replying voice is shaking. It stings hot on Junsu’s chest.

      “Who says I’m doing so?” Junsu decides to enter the chaotic room. He risks his power of self control, he knows, but he couldn’t bear seeing Changmin’s awful state and the shaking voice.

      “Y-you hate me.”

It’s not accusing or judging. It’s a kind of bitter resignation and surrender.

Junsu reaches the squatting boy.

      “I never hate you, hero.” He stretches his hand reaching Changmin. His hand lands on a cold skin. Changmin must have been sitting there for quite a while. “I never hate you.”

      “But.. You said you hate me.”

Junsu’s eyes scanning the littered room looking for blanket. He sees one on the opposite corner from them.

      “I said not to hug me anymore.” Junsu walks to get the blanket. “Not I hate you.” He comes back with the crumpled ball of old thick fabric and drapes it over Changmin.

      “It’s the same.” Changmin is still shaking.

      “It’s different.” Junsu sits beside the tall figure. “I don’t like it because you just hug me without good reasons.” Junsu watches the dropped low head.

      “Reason? Like what?”

      “Like.. “Junsu doesn’t know the reasons either. “Like a spoiled whiny toddlers or kindergarten boys.” He says it randomly.

Changmin hold his voice unspoken. Junsu taps Changmin’s curled fingers into loose fist slowly.

      “I’m sorry I was harsh earlier.” He taps the fingers three times. “I don’t know how to say it better.”

      “You.. really don’t like me hugging you?”

      “Erm.. not for now and anytime in the near future.” Junsu holds his breath, hoping Changmin wouldn’t shoot more questions.

      “Y-your girlfriend asked you that?”

      “Silly.” Junsu smiles and ruffles Changmin’s already messy hair. “Ji hyo is not my girlfriend.”

      “You.. you slept with her.” Changmin bites his lips with force.

      “Yeah. kinda. I slept with you too several times, remember?” Junsu tweaks Changmin’s ear.

      “But.. but..” Changmin can’t go on the wanted sentence. But, did you sleep with her like lovers do? Did you do what Chae rim did with her male partners? Did you give yourself up to her? It’s too painful to say aloud. Just thinking about it has brought fresh cuts on the previous sore wounds. He can’t say it.

      “But it’s already three in the morning and you haven’t slept a wink. Come on.” Junsu pulls changmin up to stand and move. The tall student is weak. He’s been squatting for hours on the floor his legs refuse to cooperate well. Junsu cleans the bed while waiting for Changmin to be able to move his sleeping legs properly.

      “School starts before eight.” Junsu helps Changmin lying on the bed. “You have to sleep at least three hours.” He fixes the thin too long used pillow and bolster on bed. “Just sleep. If you are late tomorrow, I’ll write letter to school about something.”

      “You won’t leave, right?”

      “Min.” Junsu sighs. “I’m not going anywhere.” Junsu spreads the blanket.

      “Promise?” The begging plead is sad.

      “Promise.” Junsu covers the tip of the blanket to Changmin’s chin. “Sleep, hero.” He leans forward and kisses Changmin’s hair.

Both of them are stunned.

Junsu doesn’t know why he did that. He is certain he’s just making sure Changmin will sleep and rest. He’s just fixing the bed and blanket. What the hell did he just do sending a kiss on Changmin’s hair? He is shocked the seconds after and hastily leaning away, composing his unguarded lost barrier.

Changmin is stunned for the opposite reason. Junsu doesn’t hate him. Junsu doesn’t hate him like what he thought before. Junsu kisses him. It’s only hair but Junsu kisses him. He beams instantly. His hands are about to reach Junsu and pulls him into hug but the thin man has moved faster drawing distances with a shocked face.

      “Night, Junsu.” Changmin smiles from his heart. Most of his mental cut wounds have healed by one simple touch of a hair kiss.

Junsu can’t believe it. He asked Changmin not to hug him yet he himself kisses the boy. He storms out from Changmin’s bedroom like a deer shot on the back. God! What has he just done? What happened? What happened to holding your own words, Junsu? This will be bad. He breathes deeply, getting his center control at hand. Yunho is darn right. He must keep distance from Changmin.

Changmin wakes up at eight sharp. He has a blurry hazy dream where Junsu turned his back on him and walked away. He called Junsu to slow down as he ran after the man he loves but Junsu ignored him and disappeared soon after. He saw his parents too. his mother and his little sister first, scolding him for causing endless troubles then his father face, slapping his mother for not preparing dinner the way he wanted. He wakes up in sweat and light fever. He tries to get up from bed and finds Junsu. If he is not mistaken, Junsu has afternoon shift today (Changmin has learned about Junsu’s shift pattern) or has Junsu left for morning class? He groans as his head and eyes are having a cheery joke to each other.

      “Junsu..?” Changmin’s voice is rough. He walks slowly opening the door and heads to bathroom. He has to stop twice to hold onto something for support. His legs are still angry for being folded too long last night. “Junsu?” Changmin calls in better voice.

No sight of the thin man. Changmin quickly washes his face and brushes his teeth. He feels better and walks firmer. Junsu’s long old coat is not hung on the usual place. That man has left the flat. Changmin bites his lips in disappointment and sits on the couch, blinking his eyes several times. Junsu just left? No note for him? Ah ! School! He half runs back to bathroom to take very quick shower and runs to his room to change. ! Where did he throw his uniform last night? He hears the flat door opens as he flips every possible scattered thing in his room to find his school uniform.

      “Min?” Junsu’s voice is heard after some knocking.

      “Wait!” Changmin has found his uniform. “Five minutes.” He dresses up in fast speed, smiling. He bursts out of his bedroom meeting Junsu in the kitchen. Junsu places two bowls on the table, their breakfast.

      “I’ve just called school.” Junsu informs as he stirs one of the bowl. Soup again? “I told your homeroom teacher that you’d be late today because you helped me.”

It’s porridge. Ew. Plain rice porridge Changmin hates to eat because it’s either too salty sometimes or no taste at all but plain semi odd rice flavor.

Junsu catches the face Changmin obliviously made.

      “You are pale.” Junsu eyes the tall student. “We still have sweet soy sauce if the porridge is too bland. Eat this while it’s still warm.”

If it’s not for Junsu, Changmin prefers no breakfast. But Junsu bought it for them and everything from Junsu is more than precious. Changmin sits and gets his spoon. He starts to eat despite the protest his tongue and tummy kick on. Funnily, it’s not too salty or blandly plain this morning. Junsu has sat in front of the student and scoops his porridge too.

      “Not bad.” Changmin grins.

      “Sorry.” Junsu calmly replies. “I think rice porridge is better for you. You look pale and you slept very late last night.”

Always making Changmin feels warm inside out, his Junsu.

      “Your jacket is too thin for the weather outside. Wear my coat to school.”

      “I’m fine.” Changmin shakes his head. He loves the idea of wearing Junsu’s long old coat but no, thanks. Junsu will work till evening.

      “It’s an order.”

      “But..

      “I’m doing your first wish, hero.” Junsu reminds the pouting student. “It’s ridiculous but I’m doing it because it’s your birthday wish. Now don’t start arguing with me. Wear my coat!”

Changmin grumbles lowly. Junsu hears part of it and holds his chuckle.

      “You are going to work till eight.” Changmin bargains after a while. His bowl is nearly empty.

      “I’m taking bus. Got to see prof. Rita after this.”

      “You will go home soon, won’t you?” Changmin puts on his best pleading eyes.

Junsu nods.

      “I’m going to see Ji Hyo off first before I go to work.”

Huh! That woman! Why must she come here and rob Junsu from Changmin?

--

Yunho gulps. He’s way older but this tall kid, slightly taller than him now, has no sense of thinking that Yunho is way older and deserves some good respect by not glaring at him.

      “I’m just confirming.” Yunho uses his practiced serious face to match up with the thick glare. “If Junsu hasn’t told you about.. err.. the written clauses he had signed on your-

      “He had told me. No hugging him, right?” Changmin snaps fast. “Is it just him or not hugging other people too?”

Yunho clears his throat. Bad idea seeing and talking to this kid in school. Bad. But he doesn’t want Rae Im knows.

      “In this case, since Junsu is your temporary guardian till you graduate high school or till your father comes, it’s best not to.. show how close you two are.” He gulps again.

      “So it’s alright if I hug someone else? Say, for example, detective Yoochun?” Changmin plays with the obvious.

      “Of course it’s alright to hug.. wait, why do you want to hug detective Yoochun?” Yunho narrows his almond eyes suspiciously.

      “Because he’s not my temporary guardian.” Changmin rolls his eyes. “You said it’s fine.”

      “W-well..” Yunho is lost. “What I mean is.. It’s not like you are not allowed to hug Junsu. Just.. Don’t show it in public.” . What did I just say? Yunho curses at himself.

      “It means I can hug Junsu when we are alone?”

      “NO!” Yunho automatically answers. His hands make negative gestures to emphasize his word.

Changmin raises his brow.

      “Just be casual and.. not to close until graduation, okay?” Yunho’s hand runs on his hair. “You need to focus on studying to pass this year’s exams.”

      “I can hug him after graduation?”

      “Not.. really.. um.. you’d better not.” Yunho gets more and more clueless.

      “But I can hug you or detective Yoochun?”

      “Um.. okay.” Yunho cringes. The thought of Changmin hugging Yoochun is somewhat making him uncomfortable.

      “Sir, I understand perfectly of adult language.” Changmin crosses his arms. “I lived with my aunt for nearly a year, sir. I’ve heard all kind of adult convos.”

Damn you, Chun. Why do you have to convince me talking to this smart kid? His tongue, oh lord.

      “If you mean I am not to do any physical contact with Junsu that enables any encouragement of me being abused by Junsu, I got it though I don’t mind at all if he does so.”

What? What did Changmin say?

      “You don’t mind being abused?”

Changmin shakes his head casually.

      “The truth is, I hugged Junsu most of the time and he never does anything else than flicking or tweaking me when I do mistakes. I kind of expecting he would do something more constructive but yeah.. Junsu is just too kind.”

Yunho gapes.

      “Perhaps detective Yoochun needs to show the concrete examples of child abusing to Junsu since what Junsu has in mind about abusing me is making me sad which is very rare.”

Yunho still gapes.

      “That’s why I love him.”

Now Yunho eyes change shape from almond to round widened pair. Changmin reminds himself that Junsu strictly warns him not to prank Yunho. It’s hard to resist. Yunho is such a easy target behind his all manly strong serious appearance.

      “Y-you..

      “Yes, Sir. I love Junsu.” Changmin admits. Yunho is his social advisor and so far, he is very kind and understanding. Changmin gives credits to this man for his long time effort handling his case. Yunho deserves to know. He bets Yunho has already known from Yoochun.

Yunho flails desperately.

      “Don’t talk about it anymore.” His tone changes into firm one. This is Yunho being in charge mode. “I never hear it and make it none does. Understand?”

Changmin looks at the social advisor blankly.

      “Rae Im will terminate Junsu’s guardianship over you as soon as she hears about this.” Yunho explains. “She doesn’t fully approve on Junsu as your temporary guardian and your latest action returning all your coupons caught her attention.”

Changmin turns stiff.

      “She is my senior, kid. She could remove Junsu from your guardianship without my say. I know what you tried to do by returning your coupons and paying your school fee but it doesn’t work that way, Min.”

      “What do you mean?” Changmin is alerted.

      “Please don’t let any of the assigned supervisors watching you see how close you are to Junsu or how you feel about Junsu. Once she gets the report and you’ll be move out from the flat. I tell you this because I trust Junsu. I know he will not do anything bad to you and your exams are just around the corner.”

Changmin listens carefully.

      “I should have moved you out last week from Junsu’s flat when I saw you hugging Junsu at school festival.” Yunho make a fist. “Thank God I came there with Yoochun. Rae Im was busy with the new kid case so I asked Yoochun to go with me. Don’t do that again, Min. I mean it. Don’t do anything that would reveal how you feel to Junsu till at least you graduate from school.”

      “It’s just a hug.” Changmin mumbles, starting to regret his compulsive act.

      “The way you hugged Junsu is different. People can see that easily.”

Actually, Yoochun saw it. Yunho saw the difference after Yoochun explained.

      “Sorry.” Stupid, why would Changmin say sorry for something that makes him happy? He is not sorry.

      “Just keep yourself in good way till graduation. Once you are announced graduated from GreyFair III high, you can hug Junsu to your heart content. And not in public, please.”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “And don’t hug detective Yoochun either. Rae Im might find it weird and dig further.”

It’s so irrelevant but Yunho says it in serious tone.

Junsu doesn’t mean his words when he said he didn’t like Changmin’s hug, Changmin understands now. It’s Junsu’s way of telling him not to do physical contact that might cause suspicion and resulted in severe harms for Changmin. Again, Junsu shows him how meaningful Junsu is for Changmin. Yunho said he couldn’t hand the coupons to Changmin as the food cards had been returned and known by Yunho’s manager. But the social department still pays for his school fee which means he is under the eye of the people in social dept. The school will refund the money soon to Junsu which Changmin bets his head on it will hand the money to him.

Only for another six weeks. He can bear it. Yunho has given him chance to stay with Junsu despite the fact that Changmin falls in love with Junsu.

Now, all Changmin has to do is study hard to and be good.

      “I’ll be home late.” Changmin utters at breakfast. No more rice porridge, changmin has made sure of it. It’s cheap but the taste is unbearable. “last group project with Jonghyun.”

      “In school?” Junsu pours water on to their glasses.

      “Hmm.. Perhaps we will go to Jonghyun’s house.”

      “That’s far.” Junsu comments. “I’ll be working till eight. Call me if you haven’t finished doing your project.”

Changmin beams. Junsu will pick him again.

      “Need anything for the project?”

Changmin shakes his head. He is chewing happily.

      “They make me drawing a lot in this project. The rest are providing the materials.”

      “How about your homework?”

      “No homework for senior classes. Our extra lessons are prolonged until five thirty.”

      “Bring extra change.” Junsu smiles. “It’s raining. If you get wet, use the extra.”

Hm? They don’t have that many clothes at home and some of them are already in laundry basket.

      “Err..

      “You forgot to bring your clothes to laundry again?” Junsu creases his brow, amused.

      “Was too tired yesterday.” Changmin puffs his cheeks. It usually works on Junsu.

      “I thought you are one big strong hero.” Junsu laughs.

Changmin stomps his feet in purpose. He doesn’t mean to forget his usual chore taking the dirty clothes to the automat laundry in the building’s basement. He was tired yesterday. Junsu had to wake him up for dinner because he fell asleep fast while he was sketching.

      “I won’t get wet. Besides, rain does no harm on me.” He pouts hard. “You, on the other hand.” He raises his spoon and wiggles it in circle pattern. “Must remember my first wish.”

Junsu rolls his eyes.

      “Gaining weight and no nose bleed whatever the condition is.” Changmin recites. “If you fail, you must pay the fine.”

Junsu flicks Changmin’s side temple.

      “Ouch.”

      “No need to remind me that, kiddo.”

      “I’m not a kid.” Changmin protests. “I’m nineteen. You’d been working when you were my age.” He points out.

      “I wasn’t making fun on someone’s weight and health when I was your age.”

      “I’m not making fun of you. You are indeed thinner than my sketch paper, ouch!” Changmin rubs his head with curled lips.

      “Kid these days.” Junsu mutters, eating more of his ramen.

      “I didn’t break any law.” Changmin scoffs.

      “You don’t have to break the law to see a detective around.” Yoochun smirks. “Get in.”

      “No, thanks. Last time I got into your car, Junsu weren’t home for a long time.”

Yoochun laughs freely. His deep husky voice rings beautifully in the air.

      “Well, I’m about to inform you about Junho but if you are not interested..

      “Junho who?” Changmin narrows his eyes.

      “Your Junsu’s twin.”

      “I don’t wanna hear a thing about him.” Changmin sticks up his chin high. He believes Junsu is not a murderer. No need to know the useless details.

      “Fine then.” Yoochun opens the car door and climbs in. “Have a nice day, kid. Stay away from trouble.” He turns on the engine. Changmin just stands on his post, unaffected. “If Song Ji hyo comes visiting Junsu again, say my hi for her.”

Huh? Ji hyo? That woman who..

      “Wait!” Changmin jumps. Yoochun snickers in victory. “How do you know Ji hyo?”

      “Get in and let’s talk.” Yoochun rolls the glass window down.

      “I must be home before dinner.”

      “I know. Hurry. Your friends are watching.”

Yeah. Changmin is sure Jonghyun and the others are watching him. He pulls his bag on his shoulder to keep it well and reluctantly joining the detective in the car. Yoochun drives off quickly, away from curious lookers in school.

      “Remember my friend in Cameborie I told you before?” yoochun starts. “His aunt happened to know Ji hyo’s mother. Not to good though. Just knowing in social occasion. I mentioned song Ji hyo’s name in random and he called me back three days ago.”

Changmin sits straight. He knows he will dislike whet he hears.

      “My friend did a small digging and found out more about Kim Junho’s death. It’s officially an accident. Junho’s body found floating on the small lake and they didn’t find serious bruise or physical proves that said the opposite. My last question on how Junho reached the lake or ended up drowned was not fully answered; however, Ji Hyo’s mother gave us a side perception of what happened.”

      “What happened?” Changmin fists his palms.

      “Junho was the eye of his family and friends. The golden boy. The apple.” Yoochun drives slowly. “Junsu was the shadow, the one they looked at after their eyes had feasted on Junho’s achievements and stuff.”

Changmin listens with pounding heartbeats.

      “Mrs. Song said that.. Junho was cruel to Junsu.”

Changmin turns his head fast.

      “He bullied Junsu when none was looking and when someone found out, he was always saved from the punishment. Junsu was always the one getting the end of the detention. Both in school and at home.”

The look in Changmin’s face is mixed between disbelief and anger.

      “He didn’t kill his twin, detective!” He hisses. Yoochun can see smoke from the student’s head.