“Have a seat, please, Mr. Shim.” Rae Im welcomes the tall man in her office. “We are happy you are finally here.”

      “It’s my honor and pleasure, ma’am.” The man sits in the nearest available chairs.

      “My colleague, Mr. Yunho will see us soon. Please make yourself at home.”

      “Thank you.”

Rae Im takes a breath and leaves her office to see Yunho. Changmin’s father presents himself well. He wears long dark brown coat that matches well with his eyes, Changmin’s eyes. He looks older than his actual age as one of alcohol’s impacts. He holds his hat for support. It’s new city he’s never set foot before. He was told Changmin needs him and he agreed to meet his son. He wants to apologize for his irresponsible heartless act abandoning his family out of deep frustration and self hatred. He couldn’t remember well about his children. Changmin was nine or ten when he left. That son of his surely has grown up. Will changmin recognize him? Will Changmin forgive him? Will he be allowed to pay for his unfulfilled place as father?

He jerks up at the sound of footsteps and opened door. He stands up as his greeting. The lady introduced herself as Rae Im comes back with a handsome tall man who smiles at him kindly. He breathes in relief.

      “Hello, Mr. Shim. I’m Jung Yunho, Changmin’s social advisor.” The tall handsome man shakes his hand briefly. “I’ll take you to meet your son. He’s just graduated from high school yesterday.”

Mr. Shim smiles as he feels both tingling touch of proud and a punch of disoriented guilty. He knows nothing about his own son.

      “When.. When can I see my son?”

      “Why not today?” Rae Im suggests. “Changmin has graduated. He’ll be at home all day.”

      “Or he could be celebrating with his friends.” Yunho glances at his senior co worker. He hasn’t told Changmin about his father’s arrival. “Students usually hold a homecoming prom celebration and stuff.”

      “It’s still ten in the morning. The party usually starts in the evening.” Rae Im frowns. “You have the superintendent’s number. Let’s call.”

Instead of calling Mr. Fujitsu, the tall handsome social officer calls his detective friend. Yoochun calls him back fifteen minutes later informing that both lovers are not in their flat.

      “Junsu has a class today. Hyukjae just replied to my text. The great eye candy manager told me Junsu takes two days off since yesterday so he will not be working in the store this evening. I don’t know about Changmin. Have you tried calling his school? prom night? he might be hanging out with his friends.”

      “I’ll do that. Thanks, Detective Park.” Yunho utters coldly. Great eye candy manager? Grease forehead!

      “I’m wrapping up minor case. Needs help, Yunnie?”

      “Thank you. I don’t want to bother your busy time solving crimes.” Yunho ends the call. I don’t want to bug you further. Go have fun with any face caught your eyes.

Yoochun stares blankly at his phone. He blinks in confusion. Did he say something wrong?

      “Let’s go to his school.” Yunho offers as he smiles at the man sitting stiffly in front of him. “Changmin is not home. He must be preparing for his prom tonight. We can talk with his teachers or friends or we could even meet him there.”

      “Is it okay? I mean.. coming to his school?”

      “Sure. He’ll be happy meeting his father. It will be his graduation gift.” Yunho assures.

Changmin is happy.

He walks close to Junsu, combing every path and turn around the GreyFair university in such bubbling joy. Junsu has appointments with prof. Rita and the head of his major department for fixing his exam’s schedule. He asked Changmin to stay home till he’s back from campus but the protesting sulking younger man melted his order request and tailing Junsu to campus instead. Changmin openly complained to Junsu that today is second wish day and he will not listen to any of Junsu’s words. Junsu must listen to him, not the way around.

      “Wait here, hero. Other than students, none is allowed to enter that chamber.”

Changmin nods three times.

      “Don’t wander around, kay?” Junsu fixes Changmin’s blue shawl wrapped around his shoulder and neck. “I won’t be long.”

      “Yes, sir.” Changmin grins. He loves how Junsu’s eyes see him and Junsu’s fingers fix his knitted shawl. “I’ll draw something till you’re back.”

Changmin is so sweet and warming Junsu’s heart the thin man leans closer and lands a very quick kiss on Changmin’s hair. Too quick. Changmin doesn’t even realize Junsu kisses his hair till the man has walked through the door of the appointed chamber. Changmin blinks twice when his dazed period ends. He runs his fingers on the hair where Junsu kissed and rubs it, floating. Does love make you feel this surreal? His heart bursts with fireworks.

When Junsu reappears in front of him, Changmin is busy drawing on his blue sketch book. Junsu taps the sketcher’s shoulder, smiling warmly.

      “Done?” Changmin looks up with bright eyes. “I just draw two pages.”

      “Done. We can go home now.” Junsu sits beside Changmin. “What are you drawing?” He longs his neck to his right peeking at the half drawn sketch.

      “Don’t look. Not finished.” Changmin hides his book. “I don’t want to go home yet. Can we walk to other departments? This university is huge.”

      “There’s art department too but I hardly go there.”

      “Why?”

      “Work shifts.” Junsu chuckles. “And I want to go home soon after the class over too.”

Changmin pouts.

      “You can take leave from work but never miss any classes. Even today.”

      “I’m sorry, hero. I’ll have a comprehensive test next two weeks and a final paper presentation exam a week after. Today is the fixing day for those two exams.”

      “Mmpf!” Changmin fakes an annoyed look. “And after three weeks?”

      “Well.. if I pass both exams, I could graduate next semester.”

      “Really?” Changmin’s eyes widen in amazement.

      “Yes. Hopefully.” Junsu ruffles Changmin’s hair, unable to resist from the challenge. “Now, shall we?”

Changmin packs his sketching equipment and stands following Junsu. They walk casually along the well kept clean pavement. Junsu points his hand to several places while explaining to the excited Changmin. The stroll is slow and full of warm laughter. Students and lecturers walk past them in quick pace getting to classes or leaving for the exit. Changmin links his finger to Junsu’s after a while. He recognizes short glances and eyes sent to his Junsu from various people. Junsu looks at him and sees the pursed lips.

      “Why?”

      “Nothing.” Changmin’s lips pursed more.

Junsu holds the hand of the pursed lips, locking their ten fingers into a zipped mode.

      “Drink?”

The pursed lips slowly melt into smile. Their locked hands feel so good.

      “And food. I’m hungry.” He beams. “My choice. It’s my day.”

Changmin demands to go to the circle park afterward. Junsu sighs but agrees. Anything is fine as long as it’s not going to the hospital for any stupid unnecessary examination on his body. Changmin pulls him to sit at the same bench spot where they sat before. The water fountain springs its curvy patterns daring the sun and the wind. There are not many people in the park today. Perhaps it’s because it’s still working hours.

      “I like this place.” Changmin drinks his water. “We should come here often.”

      “What would you do next, hero?” Junsu uses his both arms as support. “Graduated yesterday. I don’t want you to work.”

      “You are working.” Changmin narrows his eyes. “Why can’t I?”

      “I work because I have to. You don’t.”

      “So? I’ll do nothing at home?”

      “How about going to university?”

      “Huh? Dear Junsu, I’ve just kicked all those monstrous math, chemistry, physics, history, social studies, language and other tortures, why would I land myself on to another colonial period?” Changmin scrunches his face.

      “Painting course? You sounded so happy last week during your introductory week.”

      “They cost arm, leg, neck and head.”

      “Don’t they have scholarship for skilled students?”

      “Yeah. The competition for scholarship is worse than apache war and even if I get scholarship, I still have to pay for everything else. They only use high quality papers, finest pencils, best coloring and most expensive pallets. How do you think I could afford all of them?”

      “Why don’t you give it a shot? There are other art courses too besides Andromeda.”

      “I’ll think about it.” Changmin puts his water bottle on the bench. “But can I work in Jonghyun’s uncle’s DVD rental?”

Junsu eyes the taller younger man wordlessly.

      “You worked for a year nonstop before you entered university. I think I could use the same-

      “I don’t want you to overwork yourself, Min.” Junsu cuts in. “You love drawing. Your hands are the God’s gift.”

      “You love writing and you’ve been overworked yourself so far.” Changmin can’t accept it.

      “Writing and drawing are different. Everyone can write but only talented people can draw as good as you.”

      “It’s just rental, I would not do much but showing the DVDs and serving customers.”

      “You’ll get exhausted carrying boxes of new arrival DVDs or rearranging the stocks.”

      “I won’t. I wanna save up for the art course.”

      “So you have decided to join the art course.” Junsu smiles. “Andromeda, isn’t it?”

. Changmin shouldn’t have fallen on the simple trick.

      “Not sure yet.” He pouts. “I’m going to work!”

      “Alright.” Junsu moves his hand patting Changmin’s arm. “It’s far. You have to use bus to get there.”

      “I can manage.” Changmin grins. “So, I’ve been wondering why you are so difficult to go to hospital.” He says his sentence casually. “The doctor scares you or what?”

      “Can we talk about something else?”

      “It’s my day.” Changmin insists. “I don’t understand. If it’s about money, we can collect some and it’s solved but you always close the subject without giving good reasons why.”

      “I’m fine.” Junsu sighs. “Nosebleed is common when people are tired.”

      “You mean it’s common if I suddenly get nosebleed after I do homework?”

Junsu glares.

      “What? I’m repeating what you said.” Changmin challenges.

Junsu sighs heavily. He knows Changmin will bring this subject up sooner or later.

      “Hospital reminds me of Junho.”

Changmin hates that name. So much.

      “I was rushed to hospital and saw Junho’s lifeless body. It gave me nightmares for years before I finally accepted the fact that Junho would not comeback for eternity.” Junsu’s calm expression changes to sad and regretful. His eyes wander to the swaying leaves blown by the wind. Far and coated with inexplicable remorse.

      “You love him that much?”

Junsu breathes slowly, some pictures of the past memory flash in his mind.

      “He’s my twin. Of course I love him.”

      “After all that he did to you?” Changmin can’t help feeling hatred toward the dead twin.

      “He’s still my twin. We were born from the same womb, the same mother, the same blood and flesh. We both made mistakes.”

      “Like you love me? You hugged and kissed him too?” Changmin couldn’t stop his uncontrollable stinging jealousy.

Junsu turns to him; his eyes shoot question and raw comprehension.

      “We hugged and kissed as twin. What do you mean-

Changmin has leaned forward and touched Junsu’s moving lips with his. He presses his lips to feel Junsu’s lips for some seconds and pulls away.

      “Did you two kissed like that?” Changmin eyes Junsu with crazy heartbeats. He does that instinctively. He doesn’t mean to really kiss Junsu on lips but he just does.

Junsu is frozen. He turns stiff and color slowly retreats from his complexion.

      “Junsu?” Changmin starts to worry. Why does junsu become pale? What’s wrong? “Junsu?” Changmin calls again. He shakes Junsu’s arm gently to break his man from the frozen daze.

Junsu blinks. The awareness waves back slowly into him.

      “W-what did you do?”

Changmin doesn’t understand why Junsu is shaking.

      “I kissed your lips.”

Junsu clamps his hand onto his mouth. He is shaking mildly and scoots away from Changmin. The taller man is so shocked at his Junsu’s reaction. What? Why does Junsu draw space from him? He just kissed Junsu. What is wrong with that? Jonghyun has had more than kisses with many girls and boys. And he’s younger than changmin.

      “He kissed you on your lips too, didn’t he?” Changmin is enraged. “Your twin did that?”

Junsu gets paler. He shakes his head while his hand is still clamped on his mouth.

      “Say something, damnit! This is my day!” Changmin’s furious tone earns some head turn from the passing walker. “Answer me, Junsu!”

Junsu shakes his head again. His eyes blink several times and Changmin couldn’t get angrier when he sees clear water on it.

      “I’ll undo your dead twin’s kiss.” Changmin kicks the space between them away and throws Junsu’s hand covering his mouth harshly. He pulls Junsu and in a second he kisses the shocked Junsu again. It’s not just pressing lips this time. He takes those lips inside his and forces them into a bite. Junsu pushes Changmin away with stronger force. He flings the taller young man on to the cemented ground of the park.

      “What are you doing???!!!!” He shrieks. “Why are you doing this to me??”

      “I’m not your dead twin! He’s dead. He’s dead!”

      “Stop it, Min!” Junsu is breathing heavily. “I love you but it doesn’t give you right to do whatever you want to me!!”

      “Do I ever have a right? You told me not to hug you! And love? Do you really love me?” Changmin shouts back. He doesn’t care if people start to stare at them. He’s too angry.

      “What?”

      “You don’t really love me.” Changmin accuses. He stands up fast from the ground and grabs his bag. “You don’t even let me kiss you.” He starts to walk away.

      “CHANGMIN!!”

      “Forget it.” Changmin walks further. “You don’t want to go to hospital because of him. You don’t like I hug you because of him. You don’t want me to kiss you because of him. It’s all him! It’s never me.”

      “Changmin! Wait!”

      “I’m just a poor abandoned kid who steps into your flat. Nevermind.”

      “SHIM CHANGMIN!”

Changmin has run fast leaving the panting Junsu alone. He is hurt deeply with the rejection. Junho kissed Junsu. Why can’t he kiss Junsu too? He doesn’t understand. People in love kiss all the time. Chae rim kissed her boyfriends openly in their flat uncaring with Changmin’s presence. Sometimes it’s too disgusting Changmin had to slam his door hard from too much deep kissing exhibition. He loves Junsu dearly. Junsu loves him too but why can’t Junsu accept his kiss? Is he that pathetic? Was Junho way better than him? Twin? What kind of twin kissing their twin brother on lips? Changmin runs and runs as his mind swirls with hundred different thoughts.

Junsu couldn’t catch Changmin’s long leg fast running. He loses Changmin soon after the crossing light turns red. Changmin has run far from him. God! What happened? They were fine before the hospital thing came up between them. He pushed Changmin away in reflex as his spontaneous self defense. What was that again? Changmin kissed him on his lips. Junsu bites his lips as he replays the fast unexpected kiss in his brain. What’s possessed Changmin to do that?

--

      “He’s not in school. We’ve been waiting here since eleven a.m.” Yunho answers Rae Im’s call. “I’ve called his flat and he’s not there either.” He glances at the standing man looking at the ocean wall painting. “His friends also don’t know his whereabouts.”

      “Can you take his father to wait in his flat?”

      “I guess so. It’s three already. The prom will start at seven. Changmin must have prepared at home.” Yunho agrees. “I’m sure Junsu wouldn’t mind.”

      “Okay. Call me again later after you meet Changmin. I have just finished his file. His case is officially closed after he meets his father.” Rae Im informs.

      “Hasn’t it already closed yesterday when he’s graduated?” Yunho frowns.

      “Technically, yes. But officially after the father takes responsibility over him. It’s a win win situation anyway. He graduated and his father comes.”

      “Alright. Gotta go.” Yunho hungs up.

The man is still admiring the blue tall wave drawn by his son when Yunho approaches.

      “Let’s go to his flat. We’d better wait for him there.”

      “Is this really Changmin’s drawing?” He murmurs in awe. “It’s really good. He loves drawing since kindergarten.”

The flat is empty. Neither Junsu nor Changmin is in the flat. Yunho gives up waiting after an hour. Where are those two men? This is why cellphone is important. He slaps his head in frustration.

      “Sir?”

The father looks up meeting Yunho’s sighing figure.

      “Let’s go somewhere to freshen up. It looks like Changmin is not home anytime soon.”

The father nods in disappointment.

      “Do you know anyone or have any relative here?”

      “No. I’ve never been to GreyFair before.”

Great. Now Yunho has to drive back to office.

Jonghyun kicks the sleeping Changmin on the floor. He knows his deskmate is in very awful bad destructive mood but he has prom date with a hot y girl and he can’t afford missing the long awaited anticipated prom night for a bad mood Changmin.

      “Get up!”

Changmin makes no respond.

      “Get up, moron! I need to dress up for tonight! Bring your stupid face somewhere else!” he kicks again. “Just because you have bad Junsu day doesn’t mean everyone must bear seeing your sour look.”

Changmin doesn’t flinch. He lies still on the floor, lying on his stomach.

      “Hhh.. I told you to date a lot but you are just stubborn.” Jonghyun walks over Changmin’s still body on the floor. “What did you do this time?”

      “It’s Junsu. Not me.”

      “Okay.” Jonghyun has started to strip down. “What did the great Junsu do this time?”

      “He loves someone else.” Changmin says it with bleeding heart.

      “Huh?” Jongyun sprays perfume on his skin. “Well, can’t really blame him for that.” He puts on his upper suit. “I’d date someone else too if I were him. You are so boring.” He buttons his shirt and folds the tip of the long sleeves.

      “Not helping.” Changmin grunts.

      “I mean it.” Jonghyun fixes the shirt and the trousers. Perfect. “Junsu is good, caring and handsome. Why would he spend time with a bipolar emo like you? Okay, you might be tall and all but dude, admit it. You are annoying, selfish and hot blooded.” Ugh.. Where’s the bow?

      “You don’t understand. He loves me too.” Changmin bites his lips. Junsu loves him. Junsu said it himself. He kissed Changmin’s hair in campus this morning. It’s love.

      “And? You can’t share him? Tsk. It’s not like you two are legally married or something.” , where is the bow?

      “It’s fine to share Estelle? Jinwoon can kiss her too? You don’t mind?” Changmin can’t see himself being fine seeing Junsu is kissed by someone else even that someone else had already died.

      “As long as I don’t see it.” Jonghyun searches for his bow. “I’m not a love worshipper like you. I like her, she likes me, we have fun. No problem.”

      “If you see Jinwoon kisses her?” changmin closes his eyes. He doesn’t know how Junho looked like but the thought of Junho kissed Junsu is enough to kill him.

      “Hmm.. I’ll kiss Jinwoon twice harder. I heard he’s good kisser.”

      “Good? Like the kisses in your movies?” changmin’s eyes snap open.

      “Dude. You are !”

Changmin is forced to come to the school’s party. He is pushed to bath and change. Jonghyun threatens to call Yunho if Changmin doesn’t join the party. He can call the social officer because he heard Yunho is looking for Changmin in school today. He scares Changmin by saying Yunho came to school with an old rich man who would take Changmin from Junsu’s flat now the lovers have a fight and Junsu has someone else. Changmin is half to wear the rented tuxes (too short for Changmin’s long legs) and do his hair to look different. Jonghyun even makes Changmin wearing black sunglasses that make them look like two blind men trying to impress deaf old women. Jonghyun borrows his father’s very old coughing truck to pick his date (Ayumi) and Changmin couldn’t help but feel sick with the blatant skinship the two teens display just beside them combined with the rough engine the old truck sings during the trip. Ayumi wears long crème dress which has low cleavage and high cut on her leg. Thank God they finally reach school before Changmin decides to jump out of the old truck vomiting everything from his stomach.

      “Have fun.” He glares at Jongyun who smirks naughtily at Changmin.

      “Don’t worry. We will.”

      “That must be the party.” Yoochun points at the hall where the sound of fast tempo music blasts. “Please wait here. I’ll ask the teachers.”

      “I’d better be the one asking the teachers.” Yunho moves faster. He walks fast leaving Mr. Shim and a stunned Yoochun who is still at loss why Yunho gives him cold shoulder.

      “I’m sorry for the trouble.” Mr. Shim apologizes to the detective.

      “No trouble at all, sir. I know your son. He’s a smart kid.” Too smart sometimes, Yoochun grits his teeth. Yunho reappears twenty minutes later with an irritated Jonghyun.

      “He came with me. I don’t know where he is now. I’m not his babysitter.” He grunts angrily.

      “Mind your words, boy.” Yoochun shoot his sharp detective look.

      “I’m having a good dance there.” Jonghyun shrinks a bit.

      “You came with Changmin but you don’t know where he is?” Yunho crosses his arms.

      “He has an argument with Ju- I mean with his brother.” Jonghyun remembers not to say to anyone about Changmin’s relationship with Junsu. “Maybe he goes somewhere to bully poor creatures till his anger cools down.”

      “Do you think he’ll go home to his flat?” Yoochun asks coldly.

      “No way. He looked worse than Taecyon after being pu-“ Jonghyun halts when Yoochun’s eyes change into murderous mode. “I mean.. with his sulking habit, he must be somewhere far from his flat. He left his clothes in my house but dad is not home. Maybe he go to my uncle’s store.”

      “That DVD rental?”

      “Yes sir. Or to game center. We usually go there after bu- I mean, he brings his wallet so.. game center.” Jonghyun gulps.

      “Which game center?”

Jonghyun scratches his hair, unsure.

      “I guess you could try my uncle’s store. The arcade we usually visit is closed after nine. It’s almost nine.”

On the way to Jonghyun’s uncle’s rental shop, Mr. Shim asks something to both men in the car.

      “Changmin has a brother?”

Junsu opens the flat door when he hears children’s loud voices mention Changmin’s name. Finds a squatting Changmin leaning on the wall next to their flat door with sharp eyes glaring at the running children, scared by his mean look.

      “I thought you will not go home.” Junsu opens the door wider. “I’m sorry about-

Changmin walks entering their flat stomping his feet passing Junsu. He doesn’t bother to listen to Junsu’s apology and goes straight to his bedroom.

      “Min..” Junsu follows Changmin’s long legs and gets a hard slammed door on his face. “Changmin.” He calls softly. “I know you are angry and hurt. I’m sorry.”

Silence. Junsu hears thrown objects on the floor behind the closed door.

      “I’m sorry.” Junsu raises his soft voice. “I mean it when I say I love you.”

The door opens revealing the tall angry Changmin in it.

      “Really? You pushed me away when I kissed you. It’s my day but I can’t even kiss you.”

      “Look.” Junsu sighs. “You can’t just.. kiss people.”

      “You are not people. You are my Junsu.”

      “I was.. not ready. You suddenly did it and I was startled. I didn’t mean to push you away. You-

Changmin pulls Junsu to his arms and kisses him. He wants to prove if Junsu is just making excuse or he is indeed rejecting Changmin’s kiss.

Junsu pushes Changmin away instantly. He pushes hard and steps back from Changmin’s door.

      “Don’t do this, Min.”

duckie's december poster melts me into strawberry juice. /tweak junsu/