unbetaed. would any beta be kind and tweak me? *puppy eyes*

Junsu doesn’t go home but for quick stop of shower and clothes changing for seven days straight. He doesn’t talk to Changmin either. Changmin goes to store once checking whether Junsu is doing his paper and sleeps in the store as usual but Hyukjae tells him the computer in the storage room is moved to Jaejoong’s garage after Junsu comes back working. No. The no words man is not in the store after his work shift over. He can’t be in Jaejoong’s garage either. Jaejoong will kick him out to Jupiter. Where is he?

      “You had argument with your beloved boyfriend?” Jonghyun asks in concern after fifth days. “You look like long unwatered bushes.”

Changmin doesn’t answer. He folds his face and buries it with crossed arms on his desk.

      “I can help, you know. I’m good with romance, remember?” Jonghyun drags his chair closer and pats Changmin’s  folded arms. “What’s the matter?”

      “He doesn’t talk to me.” Changmin confesses, his drained mood makes him look bad and pitiful.

      “You mean Junsu?”

Changmin moves his buried head to say yes.

      “Well, my brother does that all the time and I’m fine with it.” Jonghyun sneers. “He’ll talk to you when he needs your help. Don’t worry. It happens sooner than later. Trust me.”

      “He’s not m-

      “Oh yeah. Junsu is not your brother. He’s your guardian. Hmm.. that’s a bit.. tricky. Why doesn’t he talk to you? He caught you watching hardcore ?”

      “Do you have a death wish, p*****?”

      “Based on experiences, parents grounded us when we are caught watching it. Some parents are cool with it like my dad but the rest are strict and conservative. You know, they think we shouldn’t know about that making out thingy or.. Hey! Where are you going?”

Changmin stands up and leaves his screeching noise best friend without warning.

      “I’m trying to help you out here, dude! Show me some respect, will ya? I don’t usually give advices for free.” Jonghyun sprints after Changmin’s direction.

Changmin gets more Cs than B- this week. His studying mood is taken over by invaded mind of how to talk to Junsu without causing argument. He’s so used to being grounded and punished. Silence is something new and it burns him up to his skull. The uneasiness, the guilt, the discomfort, the uncertainty. He prefers to get harsh punishment than meting this situation.

Jonghyun lends his old rusty bike to Changmin for his new part time job. He gets paid weekly. He finds it’s difficult on his first week. Memorizing subscribers addresses is harder than it seems. And delivering milk after school is twice exhausting as he has to load bottles and carton of milk around the two blocks before six. The money is not much either. Just enough to fix the broken bike’s chains.

Thirteen days and Junsu still says nothing. Changmin shops for food with the coupons alone. He doesn’t cash out the brown coupon. Why is Junsu so angry at him?

Fourteenth days. Changmin goes to school as usual. He sends morning paper quickly before parking the old rusty bike in the school’s yard and runs to class. He’s almost late. He bumps into Chansung and runs forward after sending a hurried apology.

      “For you who attend extra lessons today, you will study till three.”

The poor scored students cheer happily.

      “Changmin, Ms. Parvati needs to see you during break.”

      “You drew pictures?” jonghyun sends meaningful mocking gaze.

      “Your body isn’t that good, idiot.”

The teacher glares and the two students are back to their studying formation.

The art teacher, Ms. Parvati, asks Changmin to draw another picture.

      “We are selecting drawings for the annual art competition. Can you draw one more?”

      “Um.. I’ll try, ma’am.”

      “Good. Hand it to me within a week. We’ll send all of the participants’ drawings next Wednesday.”

      “Yes, ma’am.”

      “Extra lessons today?”

Changmin nods. He covers a sigh.

      “Alright. Go to your class. There’s a monthly meeting this afternoon.”

It startles the students. Holy baggie. He forgot informing Junsu about it. Ah, whatever. Junsu is too busy to even make time talking to him. He won’t come to school now. Nevermind.

The extra lessons end sooner than planned. They are dismissed from class after an hour rereading and summarizing world climates from ages to ages.

      “Look who’s that looker.” Jonghyun drools. “Don’t tell me he’s a relative of one of the girls here. Shoot me.”

Changmin ignores his obnoxious friend’s remark. He has leisure time before delivering milk today. Hhhh..

      “He looks at you, paw.”

      “Hm.”

      “Like really looking at you.”

      “Yeah.”

      “Mind if I take him since you are not interested?”

Changmin scoffs and follows Jonghyun’s eyes object target. He gasps and automatically runs to the standing man looking at him.

      “Junsu.”

      “Da hell!” Jonghyun’s voice is heard behind him. “He’s your brother? I mean.. He’s Junsu?”

Junsu smiles warmly at the displeased student approaching Changmin.

      “Hi.” Junsu greets the student, ignoring Changmin’s flailing figure in front of him. “You must be Jonghyun. Changmin talks a lot about you.”

      “Hello.” Jonghyun extends his hand shamelessly. “I’m single.”

Junsu accepts the hand and shakes.

      “Changmin said you dated a lot of cool people.” Junsu holds his amused smile. “I can see why.”

Changmin breaks the connected shaking hands with a force.

      “I didn’t-

      “I called school.” Junsu directs his eyes to Changmin. “Care to meet Ms. Trang with me?”

      “Sure.” Jonghyun answers and Changmin pushes his friend away from Junsu.

      “SUNFLOWER!” The pushed friend shouts loud mocking Changmin.

      “GO MAKE YOUR IDIOT MIND USEFUL!!” Changmin shouts back.

During the short meeting, Changmin notices how thin Junsu is. His cheeks are hollow and his eyes sunken. He notices how Junsu’s lips move everytime the man produces word responding to Changmin’s homeroom teacher’s explanation. Junsu’s complexion is pale and needs color. His boney fingers trace the paper laid on the table featuring Changmin’s latest scores. Changmin sighs lowly scrutinizing Junsu’s every inch. He realizes how much he misses hearing Junsu’s calm voice.

      “Changmin’s extra lesson will be cut into two hours starts from today. Saturday’s extra hours will be shortened until ten thirty. There will be school festival and all teachers and students are expected to take part.”

      “How about final exams?” Junsu asks.

      “Three and half months from now. There are requirements to be fulfilled before Changmin is granted to take his second final exam.”

      “I see. Anything else, ma’am?”

      “Ms. Parvati just told me Changmin will take part in regional schools art annual competition.”

Junsu’s eyes meet Changmin’s.

      “His drawing is good. We will need your signature approval since the trophy will be taken to school if he wins any award.”

      “I heard you came to store.” Junsu pours the soup they bought for dinner on to Changmin’s bowl. “What did I say about not running on the open road?”

Changmin misses Junsu so much he doesn’t want to reply to any of Junsu’s sentence. He loves hearing the calm soft voice greeting his ears.

      “Eh! You don’t eat with me?” Changmin stands up when Junsu walks to his book room.

      “Eat first. I hav-

      “Are you that angry that you can’t even bear sitting in one room with me?”

Junsu halts midway. He turns around and walks back to kitchen. Changmin’s daring sharp eyes is round and set with freshly fire.

      “I sat next to you this afternoon.” the tone is flat. “And I’m not angry.”

      “I have reasons why I do that part time job, Junsu. Couldn’t you just ask instead of grounding me?”

Junsu doesn’t know whether he should be happy or feels weird with this grown up Changmin. how long have they lived together? Four months? It seems like yesterday he saw Changmin with bruises and blasting fire eyes after fighting or cutting school.

      “I don’t have to.” Junsu’s tone is lower and coated with resignation. “you decide something good for your life. I’m proud of it, hero. I just.. feel bad about it.”

      “Why?”

      “Nevermind. It’s just my own shortcomings.”

      “Why, Junsu? I want to know why!”

      “Your soup will turn cold.”

Changmin moves fast blocking Junsu’s leaving steps.

      “Three millions for my bailing out isn’t worth your health.” Changmin stands tall.

Junsu looks back at the dark brown orbs.

      “I’d prefer jail.” Changmin states firmly. “Really, Junsu. I’m not a kid. I listen to you. Three millions-

      “You don’t know how it feels.”

      “What feel?”

Junsu shakes his head slowly.

      “I’m sorry.” He sighs in defeat. “I didn’t mean to be angry or make you think I’m angry. I’m sorry.”

      “Make me understand, please.”

It leads Junsu averting his gaze from Changmin’s demanding eyes.

      “I had.. things to do.”

      “Besides giving me cold shoulder and working to the end of your bones?”

Changmin half regrets his icy remark because Junsu’s face goes somewhat sad and hurt. He swallows back his guts as the thin man standing in front of him puts on a look cutting Changmin’s heart so painfully deep.

      “Junsu..” Changmin tries to reach the thin figure. “I do part time job because I must do something to pay for the mistake I did. It’s a small job. Delivering papers in the morning and milk after school ends. It’s nothing compared to your endless shifts.”

Junsu breathes very slowly. He looks like he holds something heavy on him.

      “I know. Yunho told me.”

      “Why, Junsu? I’ll leave it if you don’t like what I do.”

      “I’m just being selfish.” Junsu plays a smile. A very plain forced one Changmin easily sees. “I guess I worry too much over nothing.”

      “What do you worry?”

      “Nevermind, hero.” Junsu smiles again. It cuts deeper on Changmin. Why doesn’t Junsu tell him? What was bothering Junsu? Why does his heart feel this hurt when he sees Junsu’s forced smile.

      “You don’t trust me.” Changmin bites his lips. “You think I’m-

      “Let’s talk about it later.” Junsu touches Changmin’s shoulder. “Your dinner calls.”

Junsu doesn’t want to talk about it is the message. Changmin shakes his head stiffly refusing Junsu’s order to have dinner.

      “I’m not eating if you don’t!”

      “I thought eighteen years old person can perfectly eat well without assistance.”

      “Nineteen!”

      “Why so hurry? Eleven weeks is not long.”

What is Junsu keeping from Changmin?

The dinner is awkward and uncomfortable. Junsu barely touches his bowl. His eyes dart around carrying walls and distance. Changmin loses his appetite. His soup is half spooned when he decides he can’t take more. The lingering atmosphere is salt with unsaid words and pushed back feelings.

      “Don’t you miss your parents, Min?” Junsu asks breaking the silence.

      “I do, many times. It’s better not to think about them.”

      “They are your parents.”

Changmin shrugs, filling water to his glass and drinks.

      “They don’t really remember they have a son.”

      “They are still your parents.”

      “Yeah. Can’t change that.” Changmin scoffs.

      “I’m sure they didn’t mean to abandon you. There must be very strong reason why they did so.”

      “We don’t know that. People always say parents are this, parents are that, I didn’t see them much to say something good about my father and mother.”

Junsu gives another faint smile.

      “Blood are thicker than water. You’ll thank them someday.”

Changmin snorts. Thank you for leaving me.

      “Well, how about your parents? They live in FortBax?”

      “They live in Cameborie, I guess.” Junsu drinks his water.

      “Where is it? I’ve never heard that name. A city? A state?”

      “Geo homework, hero.”

Changmin curls his lips and nose.

      “Where were you these two weeks?” He asks Junsu with scolding tone.

      “Library.”

      “Campus library?”

      “Manager Jae moved the old computer from the storage to his apartment’s garage. I couldn’t do my assignments there anymore. I went to library and used the available computers.”

      “Two weeks?” Changmin makes a face.

      “There are many students like me, Min. We don’t have computer and the rental is always full with gamers and internet users. The rental owners prefer them than students like us.”

      “You slept there too?”

      “Sometimes. Not in the library, though. The librarian is very strict person. I went to Hyukjae’s house.”

      “Why didn’t you go home?”

Because I would see you and I couldn’t bear seeing myself in you. I saw past I’ve been trying to bury and forget, junsu drinks his water slowly.

      “I went home.”

      “If you call quick shower and speed leaving as going home, be it.” Changmin says in sarcasm. “I will study harder, Junsu. That part time job will not affect my school. I promised you I’ll graduate this year, right?”

Yoochun’s playful glints are well masked when Changmin waves his hand at the detective.

      “Shouldn’t you be home, student?”

      “Shouldn’t you be doing something like investigating crime case?”

Smart little lion. Correction. Smart tall Junsu’s someone.

      “Verbal assaulting officer in duty is a crime.” Yoochun sneers. “What do you want to ask?”

A police indeed.

      “Where is Cameborie?”

Yoochun raises his brow.

      “Somewhere far.”

      “I know it’s far, detective sir.” Changmin nearly kicks the old rusty bike he is riding.

      “Your father has relatives there?”

      “No. Junsu’s parents live there. I’m wondering where it is.”

Yoochun quickly notes the name down in his brain. Bingo.

      “I failed geography in high school.” Yoochun throws a cover. “It’s either an east state next to Alastair or a city in Alastair. Not sure. Why don’t you ask Junsu?”

      “He didn’t answer.”

      “The signing events were top hits.” Jaejoong announces to the employees. “Father.. I mean president is very pleased with the outcome of your hard work last month. As our gratitude and appreciation to all of your devotion and perseverance, everyone will get additional bonus this month.”

 The employees cheer in excitement.

      “There will be three new apprentice recruitments this week. Yi han and Lisa will be transferred to Kim’s bookstore on Apple road. Hyukjae proposed a resign letter due to his apprenticeship in a law firm for his major and.. “Jaejoong clears his throat. “Joel will take over Lisa’s position. Kim Junsu will be assigned in Yi han’s chair.”

Another round of cheer and hugs ensued in the store. Jaejoong smiles happily. His father praised his work as the youngest general manager thanks to the employees support and hard work.

      “Junsu. My desk. After your shift ends.” He says to the employee standing on the end line.

      “Yes, sir.”

Junsu knocks jaejoong’s office door after eight thirty.

      “Come on in.” jaejoong calls him in. “have a seat.” The handsome manager is fixing his tie.

Junsu sits on one of the empty chairs in front of the manager’s table.

      “Your bonus is taken directly into the store’s account.” The manager checks his suit as he speaks. “And here is your new schedule.” He places one paper on the table for Junsu to read. “No more evening shift. I arranged your schedule into morning and afternoon ones.”

      “But..

      “I’m not done talking!”

Junsu should have had learned that Jaejoong is pissed off when his unfinished sentences is cut halfway. He shuts his mouth and waits.

      “Father has approved on your promotion. You are the second head of literature and botanical section starts from tomorrow. All the books related to those two are in your responsibility. One day off after every six days working and no more sick leave. Do you get me?”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “That three millions.” Jaejoong crosses his arms. “Considered paid after two months. Your bonus has covered one third of it and the rest will be taken from your monthly salary. Not half. Thirty percents. If you fall sick, I take fifty percent interest.”

Junsu keeps his lips shut.

      “Your pay rise will be included in the cut share for your loan.”

      “Yes, sir.”

      “Now go home. I’m replacing the old computer in the storage with the newer one. Still old though. You can use it only.. “Jaejoong emphasizes. “Only during the day. No more sleeping in the basement or pulling allnighters.”

      “Thank you, sir.”

      “Say hi to your brother.”

      “You are not working?” Changmin follows Junsu to couch. “Like really don’t have to go somewhere today?” He can’t believe Junsu is home for all day.

      “I guess I could make some visit to Hyukjae’s house then.”

      “No. No. No!” Changmin beams. “We can shop after I deliver papers.” He pleads with round puppy eyes.

      “Eighteen years old prefers going out with friends or dates.” Junsu lies on the couch covering his eyes with his arm.

      “Why do you always use my age to ruin everything?” Changmin grunts. “You are just barely twenty two yourself” Changmin shakes Junsu’s arm. “Shopping, yes yes yes??”

      “Girl!”

      “Hey!!” Changmin punches Junsu’s shoulder.

Junsu chuckles. His arm covers his eyes yet his lips letting out light rhythmic sound.

      “I’ll be out for an hour.” Changmin stands up and puts on his old oversized jacket. “When I’m back, you must be ready to shop.” He says with firm tone and exits the flat. Changmin climbs down the stairs in light cheerful steps. He hums all the way to the paper agent and delivers the papers with such big happy smile. It’s Sunday, less homework and Junsu is home. What a rare day. He goes back to flat and scowls when he sees Junsu is still lying on the couch with arm covering his eyes. Don’t say this man is sleeping! They hardly spend time together outside the flat and there’s no better day than today. He bumps his hard on the couch on purpose to wake the man. the couch dipped and creaked but Junsu makes no movement.

      “Suuuuuuu…” Changmin pulls one of Junsu’s feet.

Junsu moves his foot, kicking Changmin away from the couch.

      “Hah!” changmin slips down on the floor. “You are bullying a high schooler.” He pulls junsu’s foot again and the thin sleeping man slides down fast. Changmin doesn’t mean to pulls Junsu down. It’s just Junsu is too thin and light weighted for Changmin’s boney strong arm. Junsu lands on Changmin in surprise and quickly rolls away from the laughing boy.

      “Gotcha! Haha. Who is the girl?”

      “I really should have visited hyukjae.”

      “Nooo!!”

He is pushed to bathroom and told to wash up quickly. Junsu mutters something about sleeping when Changmin throws Junsu’s usual coat to him.

      “Come on! The weather is too good to be wasted sleeping.”

They walk to the appointed store. Changmin is excited and pushes lazy Junsu to walk faster. They don’t shop much. Changmin picks everything as usual while the less spirited man follows Changmin from behind, tagging a trolley. The cashier lady is already familiar with Changmin. She smiles sweetly at Junsu and tries to engage Junsu into small talk that annoys Changmin. He makes unpleasant face and quickly drags Junsu out of the store.

      “Girls these days.” He grits his teeth.

Junsu catches the low hiss. He arches his brow in amusement.

      “Girls these days what?” Junsu is interested. “They are pretty and cute.”

      “Huh.” Changmin stomps his feet. “Only know how to giggle, squeal and make loud noise pollution.”

      “Looks like someone is complaining.” Junsu grins. “Does one of them turn you down?”

      “Haha!” Changmin utters in very cold tone. “Stupid whatever.”

      “Be nice to girls, Min. They are caring and very attentive-

      “I have Jonghyun to stuff useless trash like that already. Thank you.”

      “Uh huh? What did your friend say about girls?”

      “Delusional things like girls are fluffy, soft and…

      “And?” junsu waits with mocking glints in his eyes.

Sweet to kiss and touch, changmin is quiet and walks faster. Boys are challenging and harder to tame. Some of them are as smooth addictive as girls.

      “And?” Junsu plays his eyebrow.

      “I don’t know.” Changmin raises his voice. “You are older than me. You know better!”

Junsu laughs out loud. He nearly drops the shopping cartoon in his hold.

      “You could ask Yunho. He’s older than us and he’s your social advisor.” Junsu laughs more.

      “Huh! Chae rim had shown me everything!” Changmin wants to vomit at the memory of his aunt and a man on his bed, wearing nothing and making alien sounds.

      “It’s different.” Junsu starts climbing on the stairs. “It may seems bad for you because you don’t feel the mutual love.”

      “Haha!”

      “What you saw should be very private and exclusive.”

      “You mean exclusive to anyone willing to do that? Aunt changes boyfriends fast.”

      “Well.. perhaps your aunt has different perception.”

      “Perception of what? Partner?”

      “I have no say about it.” They climbs up to next floor. “granny told me you have to give love and receive one fully before you decide to show it and trust yourself to take the risk of anything might happen in the future.” Junsu smiles benignly. “Our parents love each other to the point that their strong mutual love brought us to this world.”

      “Dad left.” Changmin states. “What kind of love is that?”

      “I guess there are many things come along with it. Like responsibility or commitment to keep the love work for both of them.”

Changmin doesn’t know why his heart turns into a huge frozen pointy rock when he asks Junsu.

      “Do you.. Have you loved someone?”