Ah, Jae said he is busy promoting and preparing concert for his latest album, WWW. He can't come to this fic often. *grin*. Mary, how are you there? your opera works well?

      “Your bike is in the garage?” Junsu places his coat on Changmin’s hard stoned form. “Use my bike to go home. It’s windy and cold outside. Or bus? Do you bring money?”

Impossible. Impossible. Junsu is not a murderer! Junsu is not a murderer.

      “Buy something for dinner too.” Junsu smiles warmly. “I’ll get some cash. Wait here.” He turns to Yoochun who watches them with a knowing smirk. “Thank you for helping, Changmin, sir.”

      “No problem. I just happened to bump into him this evening.”

Lie! Yoochun is lying, Junsu. He plans it. He waited for me outside school! He lies!

      “I’m sorry for the trouble, sir.” Junsu bows slightly. “I should have told Changmin not to use that bike.”

Junsu! You are not a murderer. You are not! You are Junsu! You are Junsu!!

      “We’ve had dinner before we came here.” Yoochun shows his teeth. “He accompanied me dining. Not a trouble at all.”

Someone’s cough interrupts their chit-chat.

      “Your brother and the detective.” Jaejoong’s voice fills the air. He walks elegantly toward the small group. “Why, Junsu, you could bring them to our guest lounge.”

      “I need to go somewhere in five minutes.” Yoochun waves his hand, rejecting the kind offer. He admires the stunning look of the store manager every time he meets Kim Jaejoong. Such a feast for eyes. “Gotta rush before the traffic kills.”

      “Sir..

      “Lead your brother then.”

Yoochun waits for Changmin’s automatic respond of he’s not my brother but the boy stays silent.

      “Thank you, sir. I’ll send him home.” Junsu reaches Changmin’s hand and pulls the tall silent statue gently.

      “He can wait till your shift ends at eight.” Jaejoong eyes the pale Changmin. “The guest lounge is warm and better than bus’ seats.”

      “I’ll take my leave.” Yoochun moves. “Really nice to see you again, Mr. manager.”

Jaejoong ignores the detective. He is more interested at the stoned tall figure held by Junsu than the shiny handsome officer.

Junsu pulls Changmin’s hand to follow him. He senses the tense and stiffness right away when he sees Changmin and Yoochun enter the store. He takes the tall student to the store’s guest lounge and sits him there.

      “Min, are you alright?”

Changmin can’t bring his face to see Junsu in the eye. He looks down hiding his face, looking at his old worn out shoes.

      “Something bad at school?” Junsu’s finger touches Changmin’s cheek, meeting Changmin’s spontaneous reaction pulling his face away from Junsu’s touch.

Junsu understands. He stands up immediately.

      “I’ll go back working.”

He turns around and leaves the student in the guest lounge.

Junsu works till his shift ends. He reappears in the guest lounge carrying water for changmin. he doesn’t say a word to the tall student and steps out from the room quietly. He doesn’t reappear again till his shift ends, signaling with his finger that they can go home.

      “Bus. I leave my bike here.”

Changmin still has Junsu’s coat draped on his shoulders. He could see how skinny Junsu is without outer layer covering his chest and back. His shirt does a poor job hiding the shape of Junsu’s figure. His bones can be easily pictured by eyes. Fragile and thin. Changmin bites his lips.

      “I heard a lot of things lately.”

Junsu’s calm expression is looking out through the bus’ window.

      “I.. I.. I want to ask many questions.”

Junsu still looking out, his unreadable expression makes Changmin feels worse.

      “Junsu..

Junsu turns and smiles.

      “You can ask.”

Did you really kill your twin? The brother that you said you loved?

Changmin couldn’t produce good opening to ask the mind haunting questions.

      “Where did you live before you moved in to the flat?”

      “The store.”

      “Alone?”

      “With other workers.”

      “They slept there too?”

      “Um.. No. They didn’t.”

      “But…

      “I slept there because it’s practical and simpler. Jaejoong didn’t mind though he suggested strongly to find a flat. Hyukjae told me about the flat and I moved in there.”

      “Why didn’t you..

      “I told you it’s practical.” Junsu brings his gaze back to the window. “I knew some people found it improper to live in the basement but I’s comfier there compared to living in rented flat.”

      “Why didn’t you live with your grandparents?”

      “They passed away after I graduated from high school.”

      “They had a house, right? You could live there!”

      “The house was sold and the money was divided equally to be given to the names mentioned in the will.”

Changmin curses.

      “I was mentioned. I used the money to come here and study. Anything else you need to ask?”

      “Parents?”

      “They live far and busy working.”

      “They never visit you?”

      “We are not rich people who can pick any day to travel to places comfortably, Min. My parents work hard and I know how much every single cent matters to them. Besides, I’m studying here and I lived in the store basement before. Would you let your parents come if you were me?”

Dead end. Changmin has a mountain tall questions but he holds it back when Junsu’s face turns flat and looks cold.

      “Will they come on your graduation day?”

      “Probably. Why? You want to meet them?” Junsu faces Changmin again. “They are good people.”

How can you say they are good after they ignored you and let you live alone, living and working like a horse?

      “Dad left because he drank a lot and lost his job. Mom got slapped almost everyday. My sister was only a year old back then. A year and a half. She cried endlessly whenever dad hit mom.”

Junsu keeps looking out to the view of city lamps and people buzzing on the street.

      “Dad hit me too.”Changmin shudders at the memory. “He’s drunk and angry. I was happy when he left but mom cried for two weeks.”

Junsu says nothing.

      “My sister was sick from expired milk powder. Mom couldn’t bring her to doctor. No money. We ate from neighbor’s sent food to us. Mom started working after some times and people bullied me. I didn’t fight back-

      “What makes you tell me all of this, Min?”

Changmin breathes. Junsu’s usually calm face is cold and unfriendly.

      “I want you to know it.”

      “Why?”

      “Because.. because you are Junsu.”

      “And what is exactly a Junsu for you?”

Changmin challenges the tadpole eyes. Those eyes do not spread out their usual warmth and kindness anymore. He sees something like lightning, fast and burning.

      “What do you actually wanna know from me, Min? Say it. Don’t beat around the bush.”

      “Y-your brother..

      “Junho?”

      “H-how did he.. he..

      “How did he pass away?” The coldness on Junsu’s eyes is so real and solid it makes Changmin mentally shivers.

      “I killed him.” Junsu says coldly.

Changmin shuts his eyes.

The days after that, Junsu is rarely seen in their flat. Changmin is really lost at what to do this time. Junsu comes home a couple of hours after midnight and leaves earlier than Changmin. He wants to talk to Junsu but he has nothing to say to be spoken. He wants Junsu to talk to him yet everytime Junsu is at home Changmin closes his bedroom’s door. He even locks it. Junsu doesn’t eat at home anymore. He doesn’t touch any food made by changmin (ramen, udon, ramyun, all are instant noodles). He doesn’t open his room’s door either. They become two strangers living under one roof.

      “Your brother doesn’t come?” Jonghyun’s hopeful eyes are scanning their school’s hall. “You won second place for the drawing. He must come, right?”

Changmin doubts that. Part of him begs junsu to come and meet ms. Trang to discuss about Changmin’s academic report but the other part tells him Junsu will not come after what he asked that bloody time.

      “Maybe he’ll come later.” Jonghyun still hopes. “He’s really cool.”

Changmin waits till all the invited parents or guardians leave the school. Junsu doesn’t show up. He is disappointed but it’s understandable.

      “Let’s go. I have to deliver milk.”

Jonghyun grunts following his friend’s direction going to the school gates. They both pass the gate by bike and head to Changmin’s milk agent.

Junsu finds it more and more difficult to lock the erased memory in place. He has the same nightmare for a week straight and he starts to avoid sleep. Changmin’s question has opened the thick heavy knots he made to block the unwanted dark past. It’s not Changmin’s fault. Changmin just asked and wanted to know. What’s wrong with that? He’s a full spirited eighteen years old who wants to know everything. That’s normal. Changmin has a right to know. Changmin has a right to decide whether he’d stay in or leave the flat after he knows what Junsu did. That tall high schooler is more independent today. He has part time jobs, he has caring friends, his study is on the right track. Changmin can stand on his own feet wherever he choose to stay. Besides, if Changmin chooses stepping out of the flat, Junsu could get back his wanted peace by living alone.

      “You never look this bad, dolph.”

      “Mr. law.” Junsu bows teasing hyukjae. “What honor do I owe to have your precious coming to my class?”

      “I overheard prof. Rita said to prof. Si hoo about how amazingly pale you are. Do you still have class after this?”

      “I’m done. Gotta go to store.”

      “Do something about your ghost look!”

Junsu waves his hand and walks off. He has a short shift today because the store has an event for kindergarten students. Jaejoong told all the employees they will close the store right after the event ends. He rides his old bike to store with empty stomach and hastily changes into his working outfit.

      “You don’t look well.” One of the new recruited apprentices says.

      “Been riding bike. It’s cold outside.” Junsu replies with a smile.

The girl gives him a disbelief look but lets it pass. Junsu is assigned to provide the drawing books and crayons for children. He has placed the items on the pointed corner to attract the kids. He half bends to rearrange more drawing books. When he stands five minutes later, the back of his palm greeted by something wet. Blood. Junsu quickly covers his nose. He walks fast to storage room and sits on one of the old unused chairs. His nosebleed is light but he can’t risk anyone sees it what with the merry and noise started by the kids’ event. He lifts up his face and rests his head on the chair’s headboard to stop the nosebleed. He pinches his nose and breathes through his mouth.

Someone comes in startling Junsu. He looks to the door and another drop of blood stains Junsu’s white shirt.

Jaejoong crosses his arms angrily.

      “Which part of I hate a sick worker sentence that you don’t get, Junsu?”

Junsu still pinches his nose but not lifting his head up facing ceiling anymore. It’s impolite.

      “Go to my office and rest there.”

      “It’s just a light nosebleed. I’m fine, sir.”

      “No mirror here?” Jaejoong’s cold tone stings. “Hadn’t I know it’s you, I’d take you as ghost sighting. My office! Now! And lay down!”

Junsu couldn’t oppose his manager’s order. He goes to bathroom first to wash the blood on his hand and nose. He sees how pale his face is indeed reflected on the bathroom’s mirror.

He sleeps on Jaejoong’s smooth guest sofa. The manager comes checking on Junsu and sighs when he sees the white ghost look sleeping on the sofa. Junsu’s tadpole baggy eyes are dark with clear impact of exhaustion and lack of sleep. He locks his office and goes back to the kids’ event.

Is Junsu home when Changmin is in school? Changmin is contemplating of cutting classes to find out. It’s been days and weeks since he talks properly with Junsu and Changmin can’t remember well when the last time he saw or heard the man. Four days? Five? Shouldn’t he do something about the growing distances and walls between them? It feels like it’s Changmin who rents the flat, not Junsu.

      “Hey.. you don’t go to mr. Sato’s class?” jonhyun raises his eyebrow when Changmin packs his bag and shoulders it.

      “I have something else to do.” Changmin answers shortly. “Lend me your note tomorrow, okay?” Changmin walks exiting their class.

      “You take note better than me!!”

Changmin has kicked his bike off and heads to police station. He should have done it sooner. Two weeks is too much to be wasted not talking or seeing Junsu. He has thought and rethought, rerethought, rererethought about it like thousandth time in his head. He has to meet that detective again to obtain the whole story.

      “I know you would come.” Yoochun leads the student who is now taller than him to one empty room. Maybe another interrogation room Changmin doesn’t care. They sit face to face separated by a long solid table. “I don’t have the record with me because the Kims closed the case and announced it as accident. I have the copy of Kim Junho’s death certificate though. Here.” Yoochun places a yellow file on the table. “Read them while I meet Jung woo outside. I’ll be back.”

Changmin quickly grabs the file and reads.

Name                     : Junho, Kim.

Age                        : 13 years old

Death cause           : Drowned.

The victim was found after three hours drowned in the small lake near the old abandoned field. He was already dead when people identified the drowned boy as Kim Junho.

Changmin looks up when he hears Yoochun enters the room.

      “I asked one of my acquaintances in Cameborie about it.” Yoochun sits on his previous seat. “He knows nothing. It’s a small minor case. No further investigation as the family made no pursue on the death cause. They simply claimed the boy from the mortgage and buried him after three days.”

      “Junsu didn’t kill him, right? He’s drowned.”

      “Natural dead it was.” Yoochun agrees. “But how the boy got there and got drowned.. No sufficient back up data to confim. Local police was glad the family didn’t press charge and the Kims accepted the death as an accident.”

Changmin closes the file.

      “I assumed the family kept something hidden for themselves because not long after that they got divorce and Junsu was taken into his grandparents’ care.”

      “He didn’t kill his twin.”

      “Legally, no. Technically, we don’t know.”

      “He didn’t.” Changmin insists with raised voice.

      “Look. I know how you feel about him. That’s why I haven’t told Yunho about it. You deserve to know because it’s you who insisted to stay with Junsu.”

      “Don’t tell Yunho!” Changmin rises. “Junsu admitted it when I asked.”

      “He admitted?” Yoochun stands up too. “You asked him? Don’t you ever use your brain, boy?”

      “I asked him. Yes. He admitted that he killed his twin. So what?”

Yoochun throws the file hard on the table.

      “It’s classified information, you fool! You shouldn’t just ask Junsu about it!! What if he-

      “Then why did you tell me, huh? If it’s classified you must leave it untouched. Do you know how bad Junsu looked when I asked that damn question?” Changmin fumes. “I really don’t care whether he killed someone or not. He’s not a murderer. I know it well he’s not a murderer but you came and ruined everything!!”

      “I’ve overestimated you!” Yoochun hisses. “I told you that because I want you to see it clearly before you get too deep in love with him.”

      “I am not in.. “ Changmin breathes harshly.

      “Not in love with Junsu? Yeah! Even stupid kicked dog can bark Changmin loves Junsu to the moon. Your face is all written with I love Junsu and you reinforced it every time you denies him as your brother.”

      “Because he’s not MY brother!!”

      “Hah. Then what is he? Your temporary guardian?” Yoochun challenges. “Guardian that you keep so close and-

      “SHUT UP!”

      “Boy, your tongue.” Yoochun punches the table. “Do you know that it’s forbidden to have a relationship with your temporary guardian? Do you know what would happen to Junsu if the social department knows about it? You’ll be free from it but Junsu will get serious sentence on child abuse!”

      “I’M NOT A CHILD!”

      “PROVE IT!”

Yoochun means no harm at all. Yunho might be too busy with his social cases to notice the blatant differences of Changmin’s attitude around and toward Junsu but not Yoochun. He’s a talented detective and what he sees in a glance when Junsu came tending Changmin in the station has been proved true. He felt the upside down sad fact that Changmin, being a trouble kid he was, was already deep in love with Junsu. He keeps his mouth shut because he wants to see how things turn out later. Well, isn’t it clear like sunshine? Junsu took changmin into his flat and changed the trouble student into what Changmin is today. He assumes that Changmin would do everything Junsu tells or asks him to do. He’s proven right again. He convinced Yunho that Changmin would be better with Junsu but what he’s found later has changed every single good possibility into a predictable disaster.

First, Junsu’s tendency of keeping himself out from the social circle.

Second, Junsu’s perfect politeness.

Third, Junsu’s very few friends who protect him a little bit too much from possible further life interruption.

Fourth, Jaejoong’s willingness of lending three millions to a mere store assistant.

Fifth, a clean background report. Too clean.

And Changmin’s raw exposed feelings to Junsu out of the student’s awareness and self control. Yoochun understands changmin’s part. He’s eighteen and he’s obliviously madly in love with a neighbor who.. for the worse of GreyFair, loves Changmin too. Of course Junsu covers it better and keeps it well out of people’s eyes but Yoochun’s detective eyes are hard to be fooled with.

Yoochun did a simple test. He took changmin to the Kim’s store and told what he found to the student. As expected, the kid froze and denied silently. Yoochun could feel the red burning fire eating him alive in Changmin’s eyes when he told changmin Junsu killed his twin.

Second test. Bring Changmin to see Junsu.

Again, his theory was confirmed.

Junsu didn’t see Yoochun much when the store assistant greeted them. Junsu’s calm eyes were on Changmin most of the time though he did it smartly and undetected. He spoke politely as usual but his tone went one level softer when he talked to the statued Changmin. The coat he wrapped on Changmin? That’s a bigger proof. Junsu is thin. Everyone can easily see how tired he is and how fragile that body of his is. It’s cold outside and he gave up his coat for Changmin. Small but touching.

Now it’s all up to Changmin to decide. Yunho will know about it sooner or later. Later. Yoochun doubts his close friend will catch up fast.

And the sentence about no affair involved between the assigned temporary guardian and the kid? Yes. It’s true. Yoochun uses it as a bluff. Junsu knows about the clause. Changmin doesn’t. He counts on Changmin to resolve it.

      “Don’t say you sleep in the basement again.” Hyukjae scowls. “The basic idea of having a flat is to rest better.”

      “I couldn’t sleep well lately.” Junsu confesses. “The papers keep me awake.”

      “The papers or something else you didn’t tell me.”

      “Papers, law boy. My final paper is done soon. Prof. Rita has saved a date for the paper exam.”

      “When?”

      “I hope before this semester ends. I need to graduate sooner.”

      “But why do I see your clothes and bathing equipment in the basement again? You leave that Changmin kid in your flat and sleeps here? You might as well give the flat up for him and live here permanently.”

Junsu punches his friend playfully.

      “Seriously, dolph. Why are you coming back to the basement when you have a better place to sleep and rest? Does manager Jae know about it?”

      “He knows, of course. He said it’s okay as long as I don’t stay there longer than two weeks.”

      “Has two weeks passed?”

      “Not yet but we know manager Jaejoong is rather forgetful person.” Junsu sticks out his tongue.

Jaejoong allows Junsu occupying the basement again after the nosebleed incident. Junsu looks better too these days compared to the ghost perfect imitation look Junsu had weeks before.

      “Is it Changmin?”

      “What Changmin?” Junsu narrows his eyes.

      “It’s not only your final paper, right? You could sleep in my house if it’s really the case. My house is closer to campus than the store. There must be something else.” Hyukjae makes a face.

      “Lawyer.” Junsu facepalms.

      “How about Changmin?” Hyukjae doesn’t give up.

      “He’s fine. He’s in senior year and has a lot of school and class projects. He won second place for drawing competition last week.”

      “I still smell something fishy.”

      “Like lee donghae?” Junsu teases.

      “You idiot dolphin!”

Junsu opens his flat’s door carefully, avoiding possible noise made by the sound of key and his foot movements. He needs to get some personal stuff in the flat and goes back to the store basement as soon as he can. He doesn’t want to disturb Changmin’s sleep. He lets the lamp off and walks very slowly to his room. He almost opens the door of his room when the light is suddenly .

      “You are finally home.”

Junsu nearly drops his bag on the floor. He’s caught.

      “Where have you been, Junsu?”

Junsu hates how changmin’s voice is hoarse and rocky.

      “Do I wake you up from sleep?” Junsu tries to smile. “Sorry.”

      “You didn’t kill him.” Changmin’s heavy pressed voice is coated with regret and sadness. “You didn’t kill him.”

      “Min..

      “I’ve been waiting for you to come home.” Changmin blinks back the salt water in his eyes. “I slept in your room at first. Then slept on the coach. I kept the door unlocked so you can get in if you lost your key but you didn’t come.”

Junsu is not aware when his feet move and when his hands pull the taller figure to him.

      “You didn’t come. You hate me.”

      “I never hate you, Min.” Junsu whispers, he is once again breaking his own resolution to stay firm and sticks to his initial intention of not being too close to Changmin. “I was just busy.”

      “Always busy.” Changmin hugs Junsu, trembling. “always torture yourself with reasons.”

      “I am busy. I have papers and-

      “When?” changmin hugs the man stronger. “will you give me chance to apologize? When will you talk to me again? When will you let me hear your voice again? If you don’t hate me, why didn’t you come home?”

      “Changmin..

      “I got a lot of Cs but you never asked anymore. I failed all the quizzes this week. I quit my part time jobs because I kept on misdelivering the newspaper and milk.”

Junsu is hugged tight by two strong arms. He couldn’t break out from the circling hands that lock him and take over Junsu’s screaming alarm in his head.

      “You didn’t kill your twin, Junsu. I know you didn’t. I’m not going to ask anything anymore about it from now on. I swear.” Changmin’s wet eyes blur. “Come home, please.” The tight hug loosens as the eyes get blurred more.

      “Changmin!”

Junsu catches the suddenly collapsing tall figure.

As always, unbetaed. *sigh* i'm gona stop writing the excuse of not betaed. ahem, i sent mail to several people yesterday. sorry for the disturbance.