I'm sitting at Starbucks notebook on my lap. Waiting for Sandeul to show up. His session should end anytime soon.

I take a sip from my now low warm coffee.

Looking up from my laptop here and then, watching people go in and out of the coffee shop.

I almost spilt my coffee over my laptop as I see who came in.

What is he doing here?! 

He orders a coffee and I duck as he looks around, waiting for his coffee.

.

I see Sandeul coming in. He sees me behind my laptop and comes over. Laughing at me lightly.

"Found you.... No need to hide anymore"

"I'm not hiding because of you, silly"

I look up to see Key still standing there and waiting for his coffee. 
 

Sandeul turns his head in the direction I was looking. Then turning back to me with a questioning face expression.

"My ex-boyfriend"  I keep it short.

"Oh! Yeah... that makes sense."  He says sitting in front of me ignoring my strangeness. 

He sits not in the way though. 

He sits so that I still have a perfect view of Key. And so that also Key could perfectly spot me.

Key gets his coffee and is on his way out. I duck as deep as I can, face hiding as good as possible behind my laptop screen.

Thank god. He didn't see me. I take a deep breath.

"Wow.... Is he that bad?"  Sandeul asks me.

I thought about it for a while.  Actually I had no answer. So I just look down at my hands. 

Was Key really that bad? 

The break up was 1 year ago.  Sure, he hurt me. But... We kinda also had good memories together.
 

Was he really that bad?

........
 

That question kept repeating itself in my head all day.

He is really that bad?

Did I really overreact when we were together? 

Was it really his fault that we broke up?

Ugh. Why did he have to show up!?!

My life was perfect till then.  I moved on. Got new friends. Even had a boyfriend for 2 weeks.

And then......  Key decides he needs to disturb everything.

Great!

I'm lying in my bed. Thinking about our happy relationship.
 

If he's still together with Nicole? 

Did he got another girlfriend? 

Does he even remember me? 

Did he thought of me after our break up? 

Did he played with the thoughts of calling me? 

Does he miss me sometimes?

What would have happened if he saw me at Starbucks? 

Would he have acted like he didn't know me? 

Would he have smiled at me? 

Would he have came over to talk to me? 

Would he have thought Sandeul would be my boyfriend? 

Would he have got jealous?

What happened to Onew, Minho Taemin and Jonghyun? 

Why didn't Onew called me as he got the news of Key and my breakup? 

Does Onew thinks I'm a bad person? 

Does Minho thinks I'm a bad person? 

Does Jonghyun thinks I'm a bad person? 

Does Taemin thinks I'm a bad person? 

Is Onew mad at me? 

Was Onew mad at me or Key as we broke up? 

Was Onew even mad? 

What thinks Jonghyun of me?
 

I sigh. 

I miss my dorky boys.