He is about to put his arm around my shoulder as I shift away from him. 

"Don't, please don't touch me now" I mumble quietly.

"As I saw you at the supermarket... My heart will catch you and not let you go. Can you feel it as well?"  He starts.

"Don't quote your own songs now"  I giggle quietly. 

I can sense him also chuckling a bit.

"No worries, didn't plan on doing that"  He laughs a bit. 

I missed his laugh. I would love to look at him right now, just to catch a little glimpse of his dimples. 
But I don't.

"I was so confused with myself as I saw you literarily run away from me" He's getting serious again. 

"And this guy who was with you-" He chuckles.  "I was jealous"

I smile. But at the same time tears build in my eyes.  I don't know if these tears are tears of joy or sadness.

"That's also a reason I was confused" He ads quietly.

"Were you still together with Nicole as we met at the supermarket?" I ask.

"No" He answers truthfully.

I nod.

"We broke up after I saw you at Starbucks... You were hiding... But I saw you from outside before you even noticed me" 

Oh . That's embarrassing!

"Actually... I just came in because you were there... But as I saw you hiding, I thought you probably didn't want to speak with me..." 

Oh man. He saw me.

"And this guy you met with... It was the same guy as at the supermarket" He ads quietly, as if he noticed that just now.

I look at him. He looks disappointed.

"Is he?" He asks me.

I know that he asks me if Sandeul is my boyfriend and I need to giggle.

"Oh god, no" I chuckle. "Sandeul and me? Never"

Key smiles. Hello dimples.

"I'm glad" He says quietly.

I nod. Tears building in my eyes again. This time I know which kind of tears that are. Tears of sadness. Like the ones before. They are all tears of sadness.

"I don't like to see you cry" He says smiling.

That gives me a reason more to cry. His smiling expression changes to a confused one.
I feel stupid. Key just told me that he is glad I don't have a boyfriend and that he fell in love all over again. With ME. 

And I'm sitting here and cry. This could be the happiest moment in my life, but all I feel right now are emotions I can't subordinate.


"Key, I- I don't think-... I don't know....." I look down.

I don't finish the sentence. 

I don't even know how. 

I don't know if I can do this?

I don't know how that should work? 

I don't know if that's such a good idea? 

I don't think that would work out? 

How am I supposed to finish that sentence?!

I stand up and walk to the door.

"Please, YN! Don't leave!!!" Key sounds despaired.

I stop. 
What can I say? 
What can I do to make this situation less embarrassing and hurtful. 
I. Absolutely. Can. Do. NOTHING!

I continue to walk to the door. 
I open it and turn my head so that I get a glance at him. 
His face expression tells me that he is truthfully hurt. 

I look down, turn my head to the front again and walk out, closing the door behind me. Tears rolling down my cheek. 

I walk along the corridor to the vestibule of the level. I see the boys sitting in two of the black couches and chatting. I wipe my cheeks and eyes, so they wouldn't notice that I cried. 

But, come on, it's oblivious that I'm not okay. As they notice me coming, they immediately stop their conversation.

"Jonghyun, can you give me my car keys, please?" I ask him, without looking at him.

"Yeah, of course" He knows that this is not the time for fun and pulls the keys out of his back pocket of his pants.

"Thanks" I say quietly.

I press the elevator button and wait for the salvific bing. As the elevator door opens I look at the confused boys and mumble a quiet "Bye". 

I step in the elevator and press the button which leads to the first floor.
 

--------
 

I lay on the couch, cuddled in my blanket and watch 'Running Man' while eating my snack.
But I'm not really concentrating on the tv. All I do is staring at the flickering screen and thinking about what I've done. 

I still don't know why I did that. 

Why did I turn him down? 

Why did I run away, when I could be with him right now? 

Why am I so confused?

I hear how someone puts his key in the lock. 

Probably Hyera. Or a thief who tries to open the door and rob us. But who cares?! Thief or Hyera... Does it matter?!

"I'm back!" I hear Hyera's voice hall trough the penthouse.

"Cool" I mumble more to myself.

"YN?" She stands at the door frame, staring at me confused.

I look up at her. "Hmmh?"

"Wow... What's wrong?! You weren't at work today... And now... This!" She points with her hands at me.

"Jonghyun picked me up and kidnapped me" I say, now looking at the screen again. 

"He dragged me to the shinee’s dorm" I ad quietly.

"really?" She sits down next me, grabs the spoon out of my hand, puts it in the ice cream and pilots it in .

"Yup" I'm still looking at the screen.

"Was Key there?" She asks.

"Would I sit here like that if he wasn't?" I ask back.

"No" She states simply.

"What did he say?" She asks after some minutes of silence.

"That he fell in love all over again" I say emotionless. Still looking at the TV.

"What? With you? With Nicole? With some other girl?!" 

I look at her. She raises an eyebrow but remains looking at the TV screen.

"With me" I look down.

I feel her shift. "Are you kidding me right now?!"

"I wish" I say looking her in the eyes.

"Oh god" She grins.

I remain to look at her. Not smiling. Emotionless.