A day full of fun and picking at each other. 

I'm lying in my bed and think about this great day.

Jonghyun's and my awkward situation was fast forgotten as we went to buy ice cream. Onew payed for us. Well, for me twice because Jonghyun had to make me laugh as I ate my ice cream, my scoop of ice cream plopped to the ground.

Hyera and the boys came along really well.
All in all. I didn't have had such a fun day in a while. Not even with Sandeul and Baro.
 

I fall asleep quickly.
 

----------------------------------------
 

"Hey, where are you?....... I'm sorry I didn't mean to scream at you...... Please don't be mad" I leave a voice message on his voice mail.

We fought again. 

He came 3 hours too late to our date. He told me he forgot the time because he was hanging out with Nicole.

It's like 12 AM. Key left 30 minutes ago. Shutting the door with a loud bang so that my neighbor came upstairs and asked me to be a bit quieter at this hour.

I hate to fight, I hate that Key runs away every time we do. 
I hate that I'm always the one who apologizes first. Even if I'm sure I'm in right. 

But you do that if you love someone right? 

I love him and I don't want to lose him.
 

----------------------------------
 

"Key?"

"Hmmh?"

"I love you"

He grins. 

"I love you too. So so so so so much" He cuddles me in his arm kissing my head softly.


 

------------------------------------------
 

"Do you think that's funny?!"  I shout at him. I'm so pissed. 

"That's the second time you forgot our date!!!"

"Gosh, how often do I must tell you this?! I'm sorry okay?"

I sigh.  "Yeah, okay, what ever..."

He takes a deep breath. Then hangs up.

Tears rolling down my cheek. 

Please. I don't want to lose him.



-----------------------------------
 

"Please, baby I don't want to lose you!" He's crying.

I'm just standing there looking at him. I want to hug him. Take him in my arm, but my body won't move.

He sags down on his knees. Crying. "Please, I love you! Don't leave me! I need you!!!"

I feel how my legs are moving backwards, away from him. Away from the man I love.

He puts his hand in his face sobbing louder. 

I want to run up to him take him in my arms telling him that I will never leave, that I love him. But I can't, my legs are moving backwards. I can see how he sags more to the ground. He looks up and I can see my name on his lips but I don't hear it. I move backwards, till he's gone. Out of sight.
 

-------------------------
 

I sit up in my bed. 

. 

I didn't dream of him in ages. 

I feel how a tear rolls down my cheek and I wipe it away quickly.  It's unusual that I dream of something that's never happened. 

If I dream of him I dream of flashbacks but not something cruel like that.

..........

I maybe slept for maybe 4 hours last night. 

After I woke up from the nightmare I didn't go to bed, I stayed up and went to university when I had to.

Now I regret it. I can't keep my eyes open. I almost fell asleep in one class. Awkward.


"Yo [YN], what's wrong with you today?!" Sandeul asks me as we walk out of the main building of the university.

"Couldn't sleep last night" I lean my head on his shoulder as we walk which is ,by the way, pretty difficult.

"Yeah, I can tell" Sandeul grins as I take my head from his shoulder.

I yawn.

"So it wouldn't make sense if I ask you if you want to come clubbing tonight or?" Sandeul smirks.

"Nope... Anyway, on a Monday?" I grin back.

"Alright then I probably need to go with Hyera" Sandeul ignores my question.

"Yeap"

Sandeul sighs. 

I just smirk to myself. 


________

It isn't better at work. 

I break 3 glasses and let 2 plates slip out off my hand. 

As I return back Hyera isn't home. She really went clubbing with Sandeul. 

Oh man. I wish I had the energy of this girl. 
I plop down on the couch and turn the TV on. 
I watch the news and pull out my phone as I feel it vibrate in my back pocket.
 

From: Choi Minho
'hey, [YN].. whats up?'

Uh? 
What?

To: choi minho 
'Nothing much, why r u asking'
 

From: choi minho 
'Just wondering. umm.. Were you yesterday out with Jonghyun and Onew hyung?'
 

To: choi minho 
'Yeah. How do u know?'
 

From: Choi Minho 
'Magazine'
 

! 
This word is my worst enemy. 
It was as I was together with Key and it apparently still is.

 

To: choi minho 
'Which?'

 

He doesn't reply.

That means they wrote bad stuff about me. 

Great. 

Minho and I had this conversations always when I was still together with Key. 

He supported me. Well, all the boys supported me. But Minho was the one who always told me I shouldn't listen to the people made up.
But though, somehow I wanted to know where they took photos or in which situation. And what they wrote about me.

A cold feeling runs down my spine. 

Please not the awkward situation where Jonghyun and I hugged. Please no.



.................................