~ONE MONTH AFTER THE ACCIDENT~

"Lola, please. Don't do this." I begged my stylist as she stood in front of me with Madeline.

"YG said to, hun. It's to have you blend in more with the dancers. Believe me, I don't want to."

"But I'm already a head taller than most of them! I'm not going to blend in that well." I argued. I was legitimately on the verge of tears.

"We have to do it."

"Wasn't the dying enough?" I squeaked, looking down at my dyed-black hair. "And the fact he took away my tanning privileges too! I'm about to look like a ghost!"

Lola stepped forward, scissors poised and ready. "Just close your eyes, okay? I'm sorry."

I squeezed my eyes shut, and a tear escaped my eyes when I heard the scissors cut, the front of my hair feeling lighter.

"There. It doesn't look bad." Lola said.

I opened my eyes and frowned at the mirror in front of me.

Damn forehead bangs.

"I look like Bom." I grumbled.

"That's who you wanted to look like in high school." Madeline tried.

I glared at her.

"They'll grow back out." Lola assured, messing with the freshly cut hair. "And if you really don't like them, I can blend them in or add extensions like I do to Bom's."

"People are going to think I'm trying to be Korean." I argued, wiping a tear away. "They're going to think I'm fake."

"Hopefully they won't notice you." Madeline muttered, leaning forward to fix my part a little more.

Lola's phone rang, so she answered it. "Neh, sangen-nim." She listened for a moment, and I watched her face fall. "B-but, the bangs are enough. Why do I- yes. I understand." She hung up, looked at me, and picked up her scissors. "I'm so sorry."

I jerked away from her. "Now what?"

"I can put extensions in later. YG wants me to cut inches off the length."

I glared at my stylist. "How short?" It took me years to get my waist-length hair.

"Right below your shoulders. I'm so sorry." Lola said.

I actually started crying. "Lola, no. You can't do this. Please. You can't let YG dictate this."

"I'll go get the brown contact lenses." Madeline murmured, hurrying away.

YG really didn't want me to stand out.

I closed my eyes tightly and heard the scissors at work, my hair and head feeling so much lighter.

I really wanted to throw up.

"I have to modify your makeup too to hide your big eyes." Lola grumbled. I could've sworn I heard lock up, like she was gong to cry.

I couldn't blame her. I had been her Barbie doll for years.

"T-there. Open your eyes."

I opened them, and gasped when I looked in the mirror.

My hair really did look like Bom's from Falling in love, but black.
Madeline handed me the contacts, and I put them in.

I hated this.

Loa wiped away the rest of my makeup, then started on my eyes. "I've never had to make someone look more Asian before." She grumbled, dipping her pointed brush in some black gel liner. "It's like I have to do a mixture of CL's and Minzy's makeup styles. Like an extreme cat eye."

"Instead of making your eyes wider, she has to get them to look longer." Madeline explained.

"I'm going to try and apply some white to your outer and inner corners, so that looks more like the white of your eye."

"Why doesn't YG just make me get plastic surgery." I grumbled.

"Because I made him swear to me that he wouldn't force you and Vincent to go under the knife." Lola responded. I heard her pick up another brush. "Now I'm contouring your nose to make your nose bridge appear flatter."

"What are you going to do about her cheekbones? They're so high." Madeline asked.

"I'm adding an all over lighter foundation, so then I'm going to go in with a pinkish color to make them look lower."

"How am I supposed to do this in Japan?" I whined. "What if I want to go out?"

"You just won't go out as much." Lola admitted. "I'll be there, too." She put powder into my face next.
"Okay, open your eyes."

I did, and Lola shrugged. "From a distance, I think fans won't be able to tell who you are."

I looked in the mirror. Lola was right; from probably fifty feet away, I would look like a tall Asian. "Wow."

"She almost looks like the result of if she had a baby with Top or Seungri. It's like she's mixed." Madeline added.

"We have to get the look approved by YG. Let's go." Lola tapped my shoulder.

I took a nervous breath and stood. On top of this, I had to go rehearse with the boys today. What would they think?

We took the elevator up to YG's floor, and when we got there, we knocked on his door.

"Come in." YG said on the other side.

Lola stepped in first, and I followed. "This is really the best I could do." She admitted.

YG stood from his couch and looked at me. "Come here."

I walked over to my CEO. YG looked at me closely, examining every bit of my face. He looked behind me at Lola. "There's no way you can make her eyelashes shorter?"

"Not unless you want me to cut them."

No. Please no.

YG shook his head. "That's too extreme. She's fine. Barely recognizeable." He looked at me. "Every time you go out into public in Japan, you must look like this. You are to dress like a dancer, too. Lola has your new wardrobe. This concert isn't about you, Natalia. It's about BIGBANG."

"Yes, sir." I nodded once.

"Since Vincent is promoting his new solo, Kevin and Big Will will be with him. Since you are a dancer, you don't need either of them. You're lucky enough I'm sending Lola with you all."

I nodded again, choking back tears. I couldn't believe I was being demoted.

YG looked back at Lola. "Also, make sure you cover up her tattoos, especially the ones on her shoulders. Fans know about the Roman numeral she got with Jiyong. It would give her away."

Lola nodded. "Of course."

YG cleared his throat. "Go to the dance studio. You're already late."

I bowed, then my heel and left.

Lola went back to the dressing and makeup rooms, and Madeline walked with me. "This means that you can't even post selcas on Twitter or Instagram anymore. That is really going to ."

"Yeah, and I bet you with dancing, he isn't going to have me paired with Seungri or Top because of the chemistry. I'll probably be with Daesung."

Down in the lobby, we walked to the stairs that led to the underground dance studio. Of course, we saw my brother and Anika. They must have been look for us.

"Holy ." Anika said first, covering when she saw me.

"Nat?" Vinny looked at me, confussed.

I nodded and we stepped up to the . "It's awful. It's so bad."

"Your hair is so short, little VIP." Anika clicked her tongue and reached up to touch my chopped hair.

"Are you really wearing brown contacts?" Vinny squinted.

I nodded.

"Your makeup too... Damn, YG wasn't kidding." Anika took a step back.

"I hate it. I hate it so much." I shook my head.

"It's not that bad." Vinny assured. "Just a huge change. It's bad when your own twin brother barely recognizes you."

"I need to get to practice. I'll talk to you both later." I put my hood up on my head and tugged it down over my bangs. I turned the corner, leaving Madeline with my brother and Anika, and stepped into the dance studio.

Everyone was already here, either stretching or going through some simple warm up moves. I saw the Kwon twins sitting near the benches, stretching their legs, so I kept my head bowed and walked over to them. I set my water down and sat down to stretch out my legs.

Neither twin even noticed me.

I bent forward to stretch out my back, and that's when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. "Natalia?"

I sat back up slowly and gulped. I did not want Seungri to see me like this. He loved my long hair and blue eyes.

I simply nodded, tugging down my hood again. "It's bad. It's really bad."

"It can't be that bad." Seungri assured me, smiling. "Stand up."

Both Kwon twins looked at me. "Natalia? Really? We didn't even recognize you! Why aren't you wearing what you usually wear to dance in?"

They were referring to the fact that I usually wore a sports bra and leggings or shorts to dance in. Right now, because of YG's "wardrobe change" I was in a hooded sweatshirt and Adidas sweats.

I kept my eyes down so they wouldn't notice anything. "It's just what YG wants right now. I deserve every bit of it."

"Not if it's tearing you down. I can tell it is. Stand up." Seungri said again, and pulled me up off the floor. I kept my head bowed and either Kwon twin helped block me from everyone else. I let Seungri pull down my hood.

Donnie gasped. Deukie cursed under his breath.

I glanced at Seungri, and his eyes went wide. I knew he didn't want to react negetively, but that was hard to do when two of his favorite assets are gone.

"Y-your eyes- " Seungri stuttered.

I nodded. "Makeup and contacts."

"Your hair!" Young Don said next.

"It's the way YG wanted it." I shrugged hopelessly. "I have to blend in. He changed my wardrobe and everything. I can barely go out when we get to Japan, too."

Seungri and I were just starting to be okay again, and I knew that this change had to affect him somehow.

Shaun clapped his hands together. "Alright, everyone, let's get started. I need to block the choreography first. Now, unlike our past concerts where the dancers were onstage with the band almost every song, we're changing that. This time, the dancers aren't going to be used as much. We want to utilize BIGBANG as much as possible."

I wanted to groan. Of course, this was why YG was having me be a CRAZY dance member for the tour. We weren't shown that much.

Shaun continued. "Now, I don't care what he says. I'm the choreographer, not YG> I am blocking the dancers how i want to block them. I will use our strongest dancers the most. So, as I say that, Young Don, Young Deuk, Ayeon, and Nat, step up front."

I followed the boys, and ignored the gasps and whispers about my appearence, which both the dance crews and BIGBANG were whispering about.

Shaun did a double take at me and had to clear his throat before putting his attention onto the group as a whole. "These four will be the lead dancers. They are going to carry the dance teams, alright? Now, the first song that includes all the dancers is Seungri's solo stage. I want to create that one first. Let's all step to the side while I work things out."

I went to follow Ayeon to the rest of the CRAZY girls, but Shaun grabbed my wrist. I looked at him, and he looked me straight in the eye. "I don't care that YG demoted you. he put you on this team, and I am going to abuse the hell out of that. You are the lead whenever you're onstage, Nat. It's your presence. I don't care about what he says; YOU are my dancer. YOU are the one that's going to carry CRAZY."

All I did was nod, even though I knew Shaun was right.

Why did I just nod?

Because by the looks that Ayeon, Eunyoung, and Heeyun were giving me, I did not belong in the CRAZY dance crew, and they wanted to make sure I knew I didn't belong.