It really is a long day but I made sure to come back to the hospital at dinner time. I was carrying the take-out food in my hands, when I arrived at the ward. I excitedly pulled the curtains to the side but I was surprised to see the bed empty.  I saw the hospital gown folded neatly on top of the pillow. I headed at the nurse station.

“Is the patient there already released?” 

I pointed at the empty bed. The nurse’s eyes widened and went to the bed.

“N-no.” she grabbed the clipboard from the foot board and quickly went back to the station and grabbed the telephone. 

“We have code green. Patient from ward A13. ”

“Is everything okay?” I asked worriedly.

“Looks like she ran off. She still needs to do the xray. It won't be good if she has complications in her ribs.” 

“H-how did that happen?” I asked in frustration.

“I have no idea, Sir.”

And in an instant, the two security came in and the nurse explained all the details about Jaehyu.

“I-I’ll look for her too.” I said as I left the food at the nurse station before storming out. 

I went straight at the hospital’s garden thinking she'd be there. But when I arrived, the place was empty. Next thing that came in my mind is the rooftop. I decided to scan every floor going up to the rooftop and it so happen that this hospital have 15 floors. It’s not like Jaehyu will be in a room, so I decided to just check the balcony of each floors.

God knows how many minutes had passed already but still no trace of Jaehyu. My lungs gasping for air by the time I reached the rooftop but still no signs of her. I crashed at the bench to catch my breath and to calm myself. Being so worried doesn't help at all. Did she go home already? Goddammit, I don’t even know where she lives. 

“Where did you go, Choi Jaehyu?”  

“I don’t know where she lives, man. Did something happened? You sound so worried.”

I hesitated whether or not should I tell him. He’s Jaehyu friend too but it's not like I'm in the position  to tell him what happened to her. I release a sigh before answering him.

“It’s nothing, I just need to give her something for our project.”

“Awww. You can't wait ‘till Monday eh? You miss here that much.” he teased which made me pinch the bridge of my nose. 

I'm not really in the mood. I ended the call without saying goodbye. 

I struggled going home. The hospital is a bit far from my neighborhood. I took the bus, good thing the bill that I found is enough for the bus ticket. I felt much lighter now that I had a decent rest. My bruises have been treated too. The pain is more bearable than the last two days. 

I know running of the hospital is such an ungrateful thing to do after what Jongin did to me. It's just that I can't afford any of it. I am scared they might report my foster father too.

I entered the house and saw my foster father's  shoes. My nerves went wild again and I felt like I am going to have  a panic attack soon. I am not ready to face him neither to face another beating. I slowly removed my shoes and walked silently, heading to the stairs.  Praying that he won't notice me, praying he's not drunk. 

I stop in my tracks when I heard him stood up from the couch.  I want to run upstairs and just lock myself but I can't move. My head hung low. I can hear him walk to the kitchen and heard some shuffling at the counter before he walk his way to me. I continued to pray silently. He stopped beside me and I can feel myself shake. He stopped for a good 5 seconds. I heard a sigh before walking past me and completely exited the house.

As the door shut, my knee gave up. I fell down and as if I held my breath the whole time, I started to hyperventilate. Jaehyu, just breathe. He's a sober, nothing happen.  I coax myself. I pull myself up and went to the kitchen  and grab a small paper bag to ease my breathing. After ten minutes, I finally calmed down and pitch myself a glass of water but to my surprise, the whole fridge is refilled with food. I can't believe it. This was the first time he bothered to do the grocery. He might won bigtime at the casino. Well, might as well eat while the food lasts. I prepared myself a meal. 

As I prepare my food to eat. I saw bills on the counter. I counted it and it's the amount that he got from my wallet. He was never the type to put cash elsewhere. I rack my brain for an explanation. I ended up in a conclusion that he 's damn guilty for what he did. He use to beat me up but not to this extent. The man himself is guilty.

I am tired of thinking. I dropped every thought that I have. I ate my food in peace and went upstairs with money on my hand. I need to rest well. I missed two days at the university and I can't afford to miss another day. Besides from missing the lessons, it is also my distraction from my own thoughts. Distraction keeps me grounded. 

I close my eyes in hopes of a deep slumber but my brain wondered about Jongin. He did say he'll come back at the hospital. He might get worried when he found out I ran away. By that I abruptly sat up, I grunted loudly and buried my face into my palms. 

"You are so messed up, Choi Jaehyu." I said to myself

I lay down again to force myself to sleep. I'll just explain to him tomorrow. Just imagining him in front of me, makes me want to be swallowed up by the ground because of the shame. I close my eyes again. Waiting for my brain to shut off but it just won't. Happenings from earlier played in my head. How Jongin was so concern, how he treated me delicately, how he held my hand in his sleep, how fluffy his hair is. Playing his hair was somewhat calmed me. Seeing and being with him calms me despite the spikey moments I have when my brain keep on reminding me that he looks like Taemin. As my thoughts went to Jongin, my consciousness slowly drifted away. 

The morning came and got myself ready for university. I wore a plain white tee and a skinny jeans. I looked at myself in the mirror and sigh. Now, how the hell will I cover these bruises? It's blue and purple. I got my concealer and tried to conceal it. But the colors are just poppin'. I added another layer of concealer and another. I don't expect perfect coverage with my cheap concealer. 

"That will do."

I assured myself. I searched my room for my face mask. My busted lips are still noticeable. I need to hide it too. As soon as I found it, I wore it and took another look at the mirror. I checked myself out and I saw my stitches on my arm. My tshirt's sleeve is not that long enough to cover my stitch. I grunted and went to my closet to get my black bomber jacket. For God's sake, it's summer season outside and here I am wearing a jacket. I went to the mirror to check myself again. 

"Hmmm. I think something is still missing."

I grab my glasses from my nightstand and for the last time, I check myself again in the mirror.

"There. Decent enough." I said and finally went to the univ. 

I keep on checking myself in every reflection I see. I am just so anxious that my bruise may attract attention. I got off the bus and went straight at  the comfort room of the CSS building. 

"Jaehyu!" The person hugged me. 

Someone welcomed me as I enter the comfort room. It's Nami. Thank God, it's just a light hug. My body still aches.

"Nami." I greeted back

"So sorry. I just like hugging people." She giggles

"It's still early for our class." She added

"Yeah, it is. I woke up early."

"Hey, are you okay? You were absent last meeting in psychology."

She put her hand on my shoulder with concerned eyes. It gave off a friendly vibe and it feels so nice. 

"Yeah, I was sick."

"Oh so that explain the mask. Are you still sick!?"

She put her hand on my forehead then to my neck, as if she's checking my temperature. My heart raced when she looks closely at my face. Did she notice my bruise? I gulped nervously as her eyes squinted as if she saw something in my face. 

"Come here"

She dragged me further inside the restroom and made me stood under the room light. She grabbed both of my shoulder and looked closer to my face again. She grab her bag and rummage for something. I quickly glance at the mirror in front of us to see if my bruises are noticeable.

"I am not good with makeup but I can really notice that the concealer you used is not fit for your skin tone. Where is it? Oh, got it!" 

She said in glee. I sigh in relief. God, I thought she noticed it. Then she shows her branded concealer. We were both surprised when we heard a loud knocks on the door.

"Yah, Kim Nami! We didn't go to school early so that you could do your here. We have to do the project!"