Wednesday came and I tried so hard to avoid Jongin. After that night he saved me, God knows what happened and I had a panic attack after few months of not having one. I don’t even want to remember it but I’m damn scared to have these episodes and nightmares again. I know that I should thank him for saving me but I just can’t bring myself to thank him because the past few days, I kept dreaming of Taemin and our memories keeps on haunting me. I’m just screwed with my thoughts but there is something in my mind that kept thinking about Jongin. It’s like my mind is debating whether to think of Taemin or Jongin and I hate myself to even think of the two. But most of the time, I rather think what happened last Saturday even with the strange emotions that I am having. Overall, I am embarrassed! I hope he already read my letter at the back of my notebook. That night shooked me but thanks to him he was there to support me. It was indeed a long night for me. I didn’t even mind when he held my hand, when he rub my back, when he helped me breath, when he cared for me… maybe I was just too distracted to react. Choi Jaehyu, stop thinking already! I said to myself and the happenings replayed to my mind. I can feel myself getting these jitters. I put both of my hands cheeks and took a breath. I think I am going crazy. I don’t know whether to avoid Jongin because he reminds me of Taemin or to avoid him because I am embarrassed. I shut my eyes as I breath again.

“Oh, looks like someone is in deep thought.”

I opened my eyes only to see Jongdae’s face few inches away from me and my eye widened. I instantly pushed his face away.

“Good Lord. I wish I didn’t opened my eyes.”

“Wow. Didn’t know you’re a Christian.”

He mocked and I rolled my eyes. I walked ahead of him towards the main stadium to have our lunch. Jongdae is pretty annoying but I got used with his antics and company. I stopped walking because I saw Jongin with Nami just across the stadium. I can’t help but to observe them. Just to check if it is really Jongin. Without me knowing Jongdae followed my gaze and saw them. Jongin and Nami was laughing together then Jongin sling his arms around her.

“Awww… aren’t they sweet? Are you jealous because you don’t have a boyfriend? Or…” I quickly shifted my gaze to Jongdae to see that he was pouting to annoy me. I scoff.

“No, I’m not and I am not even looking at them. I am… looking at that building.”

I defended and quickly walk the other way towards the main stadium. Jongdae walked faster to catch me and sling his arm around my shoulders and looked at him as if I’m going to throw a punch any moment.

“What do you think you’re doing?”  I said grintted my teeth

“Don’t worry. I’m doing you a favor. I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend, okay?”

“What the… No, thank you. I rather dig my own grave than to be your girlfriend.”

I raised an eyebrow at him and pretended to cringe. He scoff and took back his arms and crossed it in his chest. He gave me his sass look.

“Uh, gurl. You’re not my type. I rather kiss my dog!”

By that I stiffle a chuckled and then he laughed and we continue our way in the stadium. We sat at the bench and put down our things beside us.

“So... Here’s the winning case study 5 years go about Extradition and Foreign Policy.”

I quickly took the book from him and excitedly browse the book. Since I am already starting my research and this book is exactly what I need. Because the winning group of the National Case Study Competition didn’t handed the original copy to the main library. So, good thing Jongdae knows the group.

“Thank you so much.”

“Don’t thank me. You need to return the favor to me soon.”

“That’s better then. Don’t want to owe you or something”

Since Monday, Jaehyu is still avoiding me in our English and even Shakespeare Class wherein we sit next to each other. Everytime, I want to start a conversation I got tongue tied. I want to ask whether she’s okay but I’m afraid It’ll just make her remember what happened. I want to ask how’s her part in our project. I want to ask her if she already ate or I don’t know! I just want to struck a good talk with her but everytime I’ll look at her face even she’s not looking at me, my mind will just drift to that night when I held her hand and it gave me unsettling feelings in my stomach and I can feel myself a bit giddy about it. So I ended up staring at her every time I failed to talk to her. These passed few days I kept thinking how to approach her again--

“Kaikai!”

I woke up from my thoughts and looked at Nami.

“Looks like you’re daydreaming.” She teased.

“No. I’m not! I... Uh… thinking about my homework”

“As if.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. I ignored her and we continued to walk. She asked for my help to do her draft layout for their project.

“One lunch is not enough to pay me.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. One week will do eh?”

“Sure. As long as it’s in my fave chicken house.”

“Oh brother. I wonder when will you grow your own pair of wings.”

“Look who’s talking. As if you don’t like chicken as well.”

I sling my arm around her to give her a headlock and we both laughed.

“I was infected by your chicken fever!”

“That’s the reason why you don’t have any boyfriend. You eat too much.”

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