“What are you going to order?” you look up from the menu to look at Zitao, who’s sitting across from you. He asked you to join you for lunch today and you were happy with the offer, seeing his busy schedule and your busy job – you can’t see each other very often so when Zitao said he has a free spot today to go lunching together you were excited. Now you’re here, deciding on what to order and when you figure he’s not going to answer soon, you ask again. “Zitao?!”

“Mhm?” he mumbles, his eyes not averting from his phone screen.

“What do you want to eat?”

“Whatever you having” he mumbles again, your eyes narrowing at the lack of attention. With a smug smile on your face you quickly scan the menu, picking out the one thing he doesn’t like, and ask him if it’s okay for you to order that. “Yeah, sure” and he keeps swiftly pressing the buttons to his phone.

By the time you’ve ordered and your food arrives, you’ve tried multiple times talking to Zitao, only getting absence answers and mumbles and you really start to get irritated. You don’t mind him texting his other friends, but you don’t see each other often so you were kind of hoping he was happy to see you again and would give you his full attention – maybe you expected too much.

Zitao looks up when his food being set on the table though, and his eyes widen to see what food there’s on his plate. “I didn’t order this” he starts but you quickly interrupt him. “But I did.”

“What the, you know I don’t like-”

“Yeah and I’m talking to you and all I get are mumbles and answers that don’t even match the question!” You feel your eyes getting watery and you try hard to fight the tears.

“You’re not the only friend I have and haven’t spoken to in a while.”

“Oh, a friend?!” you start, your hands beneath the table.

“Whatever, you know what I mean” Zitao sighs as if he doesn’t care.

“Way to go to be subtle and nice Zitao.”

“You know what? I’ll see you around, when you decide to stop being such a dramaqueen” and he gets up and puts on his jacket.

He just didn’t do that, did he?!

You watch him walk away, tears strolling down your cheeks, fully aware of the people around you looking at you. Never have you thought Zitao would make you cry – let alone he’d make a scene and make you cry in public.

You thank the waiter and apologize for your behavior, for sending the food – untouched – back to the kitchen as Zitao has left and you’re not hungry anymore. You politely pay for the food while the waiter repeatedly says it’s fine – but you insist. You apologize to the people who were sitting around you, ashamed of your scene. All of this you do with red eyes, fighting the tears that want to come out. You’re refusing to let them out though, as the situation is not worth it.

Back at your work you