First, I'm sorry about my lacking updates. I don't pretend to drop any of my stories (that are various) is just I don't have real time. RIght now I haven't even sleep and hour since friday, but asides from being doing my work I thout about you and wrote this, hope you enjoy it even when this has little kyuhyuk till next chapter.

Kyuhyun wasn’t sure how he realized his feelings toward Hyukjae. Just the feeling of him being confused was engraved and how his heart ached numb for the past days. Needless to say, Donghae was some help, because if he never told Kyuhyun to split off, Kyuhyun would still be chained in that relationship.

Kyuhyun sighed, alone in the room he was supposed to help composing a song with Hyukjae.

Kyuhyun was searching for the sheets he composed to Hyukjae, maybe if he gave them to him, the latter would tell him that being Minhwan’s boyfriend was an acid hurting lie. Kyuhyun knew it wasn’t a lie after seeing how Minhwan wrapped his arms around Hyukjae’s shoulders last time, and Kyuhyun was completely sure, he still loved Hyukjae, because the throbbing sore inside him was so vivid that it was making Kyuhyun felt so tired even without doing anything.

“I’m just so messed up.”

Kyuhyun muttered through clenched teeth passing a hand through his hair.

“Glad you know that.”

Kyuhyun heard and turned glaring to the person, he cursed under his breath. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with a stupid brat; hence, Kris.

“Shut up, brat.”

Kris shrugged and walked inside the music room, he was hoping to see Hyukjae, the sight though, was a lonely confused Kyuhyun with furrowed brows and for what he knew, Kris was sure; Kyuhyun was single, because Donghae announced they broke up, poor dude.

Kris remained silent; he wasn’t friend of Kyuhyun. Heck! Kris just talked to him twice and was just to ask about where Hyukjae was.

“Hyukjae isn’t here.”

See, even the musician knew Kris just talk to him to ask that.

Kyuhyun grumped after the words, and Kris felt the smirk on his own lips. Something fishy was going on, and being the curious dancer he was, he couldn’t stop being a noisy person.

“You’re always grumpy?”

Kyuhyun glared him and narrowed his eyes.

“Are you always stupid?”

Kris rolled his eyes, still smirk on face.

“Did you love your ex-fiancé?”

Kyuhyun was taken a back and blinked lost, making a weird face and Kris smirk grew.

“Did you love Hyukjae?”

“W-What?”

Touché

Kris nodded and walked out of the room, feeling so proud of how he got simple and important information just making those questions, and more than words, Kyuhyun widened eyes, parted mouth was enough to tell Kris, Kyuhyun wasn’t really upset about Donghae but the matter was revolving around Hyukjae and he grinned.

After being fetched by Hangeng, Kris eyes were focused on the road through the window of the car, his heart thumping wild because excitement. Kris was very joyful with the fact that he discovered that Kyuhyun was still in love with Hyukjae, that it was love and is still. How he was sure? Because Kyuhyun was in distress about Hyukjae and Minhwan, so it must be, jealous, and it means; love.

Kris was sure; every mistake from the past could be solved, fixed. His eyes widened when he saw Minhwan taking Hyukjae’s hand and kissing the limb, not awkwardness, just a flow of gestures like any other couple and he stammered.

“W-what’s happening here?”

Minhwan smiled, signaling him to walk over them. Hyukjae recognizing Kris’ voice; thought it was time to tell him about his determination. Half of Hyukjae still reluctant and half wanting to say it out loud, so it could be completely real.

“I’m moving on. I proposed to Minhwan.”

Fog was inside the younger’s mind as he gaped at the –now- couple. His brain working wild while remembering just how happy he was about Kyuhyun still having feelings for Hyukjae, Kris wasn’t dumb, he knew, insist to Hyukjae to move on, but he saw the eldest always avoiding those kind of conversations, so when Kris realized that Kyuhyun was in love with Hyukjae, he felt happy, not for the singer but for the dancer. Kris narrowed his eyes.

“Sorry?”

Minhwan thought Kris was going to congratulated them, so he knitted his brows together in confusion.

“We’re together now.”

Kris blinked lost, his hopes trashed when his mind finally understood what this meant. He didn’t like Kyuhyun, he didn’t even known the singer asides that Kyuhyun was someone he learned to be aware, because he didn’t want the man to hurt Hyukjae again. Anyhow, Kris was conscious of Hyukjae still loving Kyuhyun, so why?

Minhwan would be hurt in the end and Hyukjae could lose for real the man he really loves. It was so complicated for him to understand this sudden situation. Should he tell Hyukjae about Kyuhyun still loving him, no, but maybe he misunderstood and it was something else, maybe he was fogged with the hope of the singer loving Hyukjae, so if he tell and isn’t true, Hyukjae would be hurt and if is true, everyone will be hurting inside.

“Yeah, well… I mean,” Kris felt stupid, of course Hyukjae needed to move on, and he was really happy, for Hyukjae and Minhwan, yet he was also confused. Even when things looked smoothly, Kris was sure, this wasn’t what Hyukjae must been doing right now, maybe Hyukjae must be working on known Kyuhyun’s real feelings, but maybe he is overreacting, Kyuhyun was an to Hyukjae, and Minhwan always was kind, so it was okay this way, right?

“Congrats!”

“Thanks.” Hyukjae curled his lips and allowed Minhwan to wrap his arms around him. It was a full feeling of protection, he felt safe, but something was off, Hyukjae decided to ignore that warning in his heart and cuddled next to the man who just showed love to him since college days.

“So, let’s eat dinner.”

Hangeng just sat across the youngest and sighed watching Minhwan and Hyukjae. He ate slowly, until the chopsticks were set aside and he cleared his throat after a good gulp of water.

“Are you happy?”

Hyukjae kept silent for a long moment, which was just a brief second. His mind told him to say; yes. His heart was galloping hard, deep inside he knew this wasn’t right, yet he couldn’t step back. Minhwan deserved everything, because he just gave and never asked, even now. He just accepted, because Hyukjae told him to.

“Mn.”

Minhwan felt his heart clenching, he knew Hyukjae wasn’t sure about this and yet he just lead the latter to this resolution. His hand pressed lightly Hyukjae’s one, trying to give comfort and even when Minhwan just saw two empty eyes looking at him unfocused, he smiled. Hyukjae was trying to tell him, this would improve.

“Yeah, I’m happy.”

Hangeng nodded slowly, taking another bit of food while Kris just nodded as well. Maybe he was wrong, maybe Hyukjae fell for Minhwan and Kyuhyun wasn’t the one. He just hoped the best for everyone.

“I’m happy if you’re happy.”

Kris announced agreeing to this relationship. They were his friends, so of course, no matter how wrong this seem, he’ll support them, or maybe he was wrong, he didn’t know anymore.

As the wind flows daily, Kyuhyun rubbed his eyes tiredly, he couldn’t get enough sleep, his heart clenched for the past week and it was when he was really sure, he wasn’t a snob jerk who wanted Hyukjae just by pride or jealousy, he wanted him, because he loved him. The brief touches when they passed the sheets of music made his heart leap and when Hyukjae was so engrossed biting his lip in concentration, Kyuhyun just caught himself staring at the dancer with adoration.

The times Minhwan held Hyukjae’s hands, interlaced their fingers and kissed the limb of the temples of Hyukjae. Kyuhyun felt the world wasn’t fair and his heart constricted. It could be him, if only he wouldn’t be an thinking just about himself and yet he couldn’t stop being mean towards Hyukjae.

Kyuhyun sighed, his reflection perfect on the mirror. He sighed, it’s not like if Hyukjae would see me anyway.

And it cringed his mind, still wandering and asking how Hyukjae ended up being blind, when and where were question that would cloud his mind until he felt the edge of craziness for no reason, just music of Hyukjae’s picture holding a puppy were the one which could calm him down.

Pathetic.

Kyuhyun had enough of being so weak, he didn’t want to lose this chance, if he had one.

“Ok, if I can’t find the song, I’ll write it again.”

The feelings he was having, more intense than when he was young were there, it was just he just misinterpreted for anger and hate, how silly of him, thinking that knot in his throat and that twist in his stomach were hatred and not love, Kyuhyun wanted to portrait them in the music and lyrics, he want to make sure Hyukjae would understand how he felt about him singing his feelings out, a smile appeared on Kyuhyun’s lips and his heart thudded like when he was younger.

Hyukjae was the only one to make him feel like this, he wonders why he didn’t noticed it before, how fool of him, maybe he was the real blind here and Kyuhyun sighed for the umpteenth time. Even if he can’t change his self, he can improve into be a better person from now on.