Chapter 25:  finding what’s lost

Jaejoong hired the best detective to search for Yuri,  because of his father he was force to starts working in their company but still finding Yuri during his  free time, talking about her personality she might be in some place quite, he just wish she’s doing well and no one abuse her and mistaken her quietness, a friend name hyun joong invited him in his club, since he wanted to relax he took the offer, he was surprise at first to see Yunho ignoring the girls around him, this is so not like him, Seung hyun, better known as TOP join in,

“It was a long time ago since we were this complete,” he praise, he extend his glass for a cheer, Jaejoong smile and join him, hyun joong too, he nudge Yunho but he just glared at him,

“Why will I ? I’m not happy to see him,” he answered before gulping another glass, he face his ex best friend

“Come to think of it, I really don’t understand what you mean before, it was you and your mother who pushed Yuri away and now you put all the charges on me? Like everything was my fault, it wasn’t me who shove her, it was your mother and you didn’t do anything about it,” unknowingly  he is raising his voice, Yunho tackle him and grab his collar, the two boys alarmed they both stood up and hold their best friend, Top on Jaejoong and hyun joong on Yunho , calming them down,

“Why? does it really hurt if other people keep on blaming you, now you know how I felt?” Jaejoong yelled, he knows everything must end tonight, even though that means their friendship too.

“You know nothing!” Yunho yelled back

“ Yunho! Then tell me what I didn’t know!”

“you have no ing idea what I am going through, “Yunho’s pointing his finger and Jaejoong, glaring, shouting, it seems like his chest will going to explode, ”you have no idea how hard it is to fall in love to your own sister, you have no idea how hard it was to accept that you can’t love your sister as a woman because it’s ! You have no idea how hard it was to gave the person you love to your best friend because you thought that was the best and that you can take good care if her, you have no idea how hard it was or me to watch her suffering because of you, you have no idea how hard it was to see her almost dying, you have no idea because you’re always oblivious and now you came back because you realize you wanted her back? YOU KIM JAE JOONG! YOU DON’T DESRVE YURI”

Everyone are still shocked by his revelations, who will thought that he’s in love with his half sister all along, it was really unexpected.

Grasping about it, they realize why Yunho have no steady relationship, while he always sensitive upon  the mention of his sister, while he almost broke Top wrist for accidentally touching Yuri’s when the guys attended his father’s birthday before.

That was his reason and he kept it well, so unbelievable, they never once imagine.

“If that’s your reason then, then I must really take her away from you,” Jaejoong sternly said, Top let him go, when he felt he is safe to then he went out from  that club .

Yuri came out from the bathroom, rubbing her long hair with a white towel, surprise that she saw Changmin sadly gazing outside.

“This is new, our dear Changmin is cheerless?”  She tease, the maknae looks at her

“It’s not me, it’s him,” he answered and points at Yoochun who’s drinking outside while looking at the stars above.

“What happened to him?” she inquire sitting beside him in the couch combing her hair, it’s rare to see the sentimental side of Yoochun

“It’s the same time of the year,”

“Same time of the year?” confuse she shook him,

“Yes, it was the same time of the year that he regrets that he didn’t say I LOVE YOU,”

“I don’t get it,” she twitch her brows confuse

“it was all about his first love, the reason why he became like this, is that he still can’t forget that person,” Changmin heave a sigh and left her, he went to his room, he knows that his hyung needs time to think of that person, he trust him, he will be okay after this, that’s why he wanted to fasten the night so that he can see his energetic and annoying hyung back tomorrow.

“Need a company?”Yoochun looks at her

“It’s okay, it’s late, you don’t have too,” he answered

“But I insist since I can’t sleep too, and I am drying this gorgeous hair of mine,”  she joke,with that he handed her a can of beer

“Thanks,” she open it,” How did she looks like?” after sipping her beer, she asked

“Ha?”

“Your first love,”

“That Changmin,” he secretly curse Changmin for being so talkative

“Tell me about her, sometimes remembering the past will help you to move on,”

Yoochun frown, “who are you to tell me those, when you don’t remember your past either, ”but then he regret that he said that, Yuri’s face grew serious and drink quickly her beer,

“funny though, I forgot that I lost my memory, I felt like I’ve been living in here all this time,” Yoochun knows that she just forcing herself to laugh, “I guess you really need to be alone,” she attempt to stand up from her seat but Yoochun held her,

“Will you just listen if I tell you everything?” Yuri nod, she sits properly, beside him on that wooden table

“It was during my senior year I transferred school, there we met, it was autumn then,” a smile played in his lips while telling those memories, I felt comfortable around him then we eventually became friends, we both love music, I compose a song and that person will sing it for me, and it felt perfect,

“You compose songs?” Yuri asked amuse

“And I play the piano,”

“Wow, okay continue,,”

“Can I call that person piano,, to make it easier?” Yuri nod

“piano then confess to me , I can’t answer, all I know is that I am happy every time we are together, I don’t know if that consider liking someone, but I guess it was since piano made my heart beat fast, piano was the only one who can do that to me, no other girls made me feel the way that piano do,but piano wanted more from me, but honestly I was afraid and confuse ,,”

“I’m confuse too,” Yuri cuts him

“I can’t say I love you to piano,”

“How can you be so coward?!”  She judge him, throwing the white towel at him, but Yoochun ignored that and continue

“I’m not ready, I had no idea that me not saying those words will hurt piano deeply, because  of that we argue while we’re on the street, because of my pride not saying those words piano died in front of me, a car hit piano’s body,,” never comes a day that he stopped blaming himself on that accident, it was all because of him, it’s been  9 years since piano died,” he pause “I love piano and I regret not saying those words , If only I did ,piano might still be alive by now, living with me, despite everyone’s opposition of us being together,,”  

“Coward, how can you be so cruel to her, girls loves it best when the man they loves said I love you,,” Yuri wipe the tears in her eyes, she can’t believe that Yoochun is this heartless.

And this time Yoochun agreed to her, they look at each other, ”yes  I am really a one big coward, because piano is a boy I can’t shout to the public how I am so in love with him at that young age, I was afraid to receive humiliation, unlike him who bravely announce how he was in love with me,”

Hearing those revelations that piano was a boy made Yuri shock , Yoochun shyly look away, but understanding his pain, Yuri   didn’t disgust him as a matter of fact she sympathize him.

“How can fate be so cruel?” she told him, feeling his loneliness about his sad love story that end in a tragedy,

“Now that I told you about my love affair, you might look at me in a different way, a gigolo who seduced girls but in the past he was someone fell in love in a boy and until now he can’t forget that first love,” he fake a laugh mocking at himself

Yuri faces him; enlighten him in his self pities

“Anio,”

“Just admit it I’m ready to this kind of criticism, it just that he had to die before I have the courage to face the truth and be brave, I feel so pathetic,”

“You’re wrong, I never think of you that way,” Yuri pause, she looks at the stars Yoochun did the same way, thinking that what if piano is watching him from above,,

“if you we’re given a chance to see him again what will you tell him?” Yuri asked looking at his face; she never thought that he looks handsome closely; no wonder many girls fall for him.

He didn’t looks at her, gathering his thoughts, he answered,

“Kim junsu, give my heart back,”