I keep on sighing heavily as I replay the moments of Jiyong and me in my mind. The warm hugs, the tears of happiness, and all. Those are just comforting moments where I always laugh, and smile happily. My mind tries to make me compare those moments with now, but I refuse to when I actually want to. I want to compare those moments when Jiyong hugs me warmly and smiles at me sweetly with these moments I am sitting without him while regretting so that I can realize what kind of creature am I, but it will just make me feel sadder and sadder, and I will cry in front of Jiyeon. I don't want anybody to know about this thing. I move uncomfortably as I try positions that will help hold my tears but they are all just the same. My eyes are full of tears. Tears of sadness, mad, regretful, and all. Noone can see happiness in my eyes now. 

Jiyeon pats my back as she swings her body right and left, following the melody of the old song we made. I just listen to her sweet voice singing, trying her best to comfort me. My first tear just drops from my left eye. It means sadness. 

"Unnie, let's run to the pool," Jiyeon says cheerfully although she knows that I am not in the mood. I just nod and run to the pool, and the water splashes my face, removing all of those tears in my eyes. The sun shines warmly and I remember how comforting Jiyong's hug was. 

Jiyeon talk to me, trying to comfort me. She talks about our past, which I miss badly. I just wish life is as simple as when we were young. Just play. 

SUddenly, there is loud noises coming from her neighbor. Laughs happiness and thing good. I miss those moments yes really.

I can hear the birds chirping cheerfully, like the moments that I used to have before. 

With Jiyeon. No, to be honest with Jiyong.

I cant help but to always think about him. Whatever I do, he always comes to my mind. I dont really know what makes this occurs, like is it because he is the one who love me the most throughout my life, or is it because I love him to death, or is it because I have been through the best moments in my life with him, or probably, is it because he is the nearest person with me? The one who hurts me the most. Yes, Jiyong changed my life. Changing it from the independent to dependent, from not needing care and to needing care. It is all his fault that now I cant help but to look for someone to count on, and again, I want him.

Yes, no matter how Jiyeon loves me, the love that she has given is not as gentle as how Jiyong gave me. The way she stares at me, is not as warm as how Jiyong glance at me. So yeah, it is all different.

"Unnie," Jiyeon says, interrupting my trains of thought as I wash my face with the water with the hope that Jiyong is gone from my mind. I just look straight still, not looking at her. I sniff, trying to hold my tears. "Please, you will find someone better"

"Someone better?" I smirk sadly, not agreeing her statement. Like really, Im going crazy, like to the max. "Jiyeon, noone is better than him. We had best laughs together, best hugs together, and best stares together. I mean he is the one who match me the best, and there's no touch in this world that is as gentle as his, No kiss that is as warm as his, and no advice as wise as his! I mean like young teenagers always say that and you just follow them! You just never experience and understand love, and this kind of condition! Jinjja, you just make me more annoyed. Can you just stab me with your ing knife like s**t you just cant comfort me!" 

I shouted, and tears drenched my face as it rolls down my cheek. It is just, yes, I dont want to hear any advice right now. Like my brain is full of thoughts and still you are filling it in with advice. Like oh, freaking..

"Unnie!" Jiyeon shouts, reminding me of my dad who shouts at me when I do something wrong. "You just never listen and you end up being so ridiculous I know im younger than you but, oh, whatever Unnie, Im super done..."

Jiyeon easily jumps out from the pool leaving the water splashing on my face. For the first seconds, I dont even care about her going away from me because well, I also need some private time to refresh myself. But for some time, I realize that I also need a friend who will listen to me and can comfort me with some advice. Well, yes, tbh, Im getting super weird and stubborn after this divorce.

I also jump out from the pool, running after her. I slipped, and luckily, Jiyeon cares.

"Unnie!" Jiyeon ran for me, helping me to get up. I just sigh but also smile in relieve.

"Im sorry for being stubborn Jiyeon, " I get up and immediately hugged her, as tears come out from my eyes. "I still need you, okay?"

"Okay,"