I felt something touching my shoulder and stirred in my sleep.I'm comfortable here!Don't wanna wake up!My lazy side was whining while the curiosity got the best of me,making me open my eyes and turn around.Zico had his arms around my waist,brushing his lips along my shoulder and collar bone,comming back,his eyes looking up at me.When he noticed I woke up he smiled and kissed my temple.

      'Hey gorgeous.' He said huskily and I found myself grinning like a idiot for no apparent reason.Hell,​the reason was laying next to me.He run his hand down my arm,his eyes following the movement.'We know you for about 2 months now...and didn't know you have a tatto.' He said,interested in the ink on my arm.

      'You never asked.' I shrugged then saw he had tattos on his chest.'And you didn't tell me either.Y'know,before comming here I was told koreans may be uptight,composed and sometimes prude people.What does a dog like you here?'

      'Barking his thoughts to the world and digging for fame.' He said and smiled deviously.

      'What you're doing here then?Looking for a treat?' I implied,pushing his chest and comming on top of him.He run his hands down my back and brought me down so I was on my elbows.

      'No.Lookin' for you.' He cupped my cheek and went to kiss me,but we heard noise from the living room.Looks like they're back.I put space between me and Zico and wanted to get off him but he held my hips.

      'Zico.' I frowned and grabbed his hands,but he didn't budge.'Let go.' He just smirked.'Get your hands off if you like them attached to your body.' I threatened,which wasn't very smart as he rolled us over so he was on top and started tickling me.

      'Say what?' He laughed and I couldn't breath much from how hard I was laughing.

       'S...s-top!' I gasped for air but he wasn't giving me a break.I didn't pay attention to the surroundings as I wa busy not dying suffocated so it took some time to notice Zico stopped and the guys were in the room.Shock or amusement danced on their faces.

       'What were you going to her again hyung?You were a role model to me! I am dissapointed!' P.O wailed shaking his arms so hard in front of us I thought they might fall.

       'You cheating on me?Filthy son of a !' Kyung screamed after and fake sobbed.'And as for you!Watch you back girl 'cause someday 's gonna go down!' He continued,threatening me in a y tone.

       'I'm innocent!You saw it he was harassing me!' I pointed at Zico and he glared at me.

       'Don't worry noona.Won't let the beast get near you again!' P.O vowed and pushed Zico out of the way,enfulging me into a bone-crushing hug.The others laughed at his possessiveness.

       'I appreciate the 'mama bear' care but I already had some troubles breathing.' I patted his shoulder when he squeezed me too hard.'And don't worry dear,I can tame the pet.' I assured P.O but looked at Zico,who had a boyihs smile on display.

       Two months later...

       Billions of things happened.Me and the boys worked harder with the choregraphies because soon they had to start promiting for their comeback and in one month they would began filming for an MTV show.The managers already scheduled their main events and after MTV they were filming an MV,then their first stage performance,for which I was in charge would take place.In between,there were countless photo shoots and fan signings/meetings.It sounded hectic...but they said it was alright and they'd manage so I should do the same.

       Also,GD,T.O.P,Seungri,Daesung and Taeyang finished their minivacantion and returned to their world tour.I was sad 'cause I got pretty attached to them but for  Ri,who began dating T.O.P(you could tell me how awesome I am anytime), was even worst.They would tour for a few more months and I promised to keep in touch.Me and Ri met with them just a day before they were leaving.To say Ri was grumpy was putting it mildly.I was afraid to touch her those days,fearing she might bite my hand off.In the end they left,not before GD commented on my 'terrifying' choice of clothes for that day,Seungri proposed to take me with them as his personal secretary,I beat Seungri and Daesung and Taeyang made fun of us all as we let Ri and T.O.P have their time.

      I got a unexpected call from dad too...Nothing special.Just the usual 'watch what you're doing with who you're hanging out,don't let the media found out 'bout you,do not get in trouble and start assuming responsability as the future and only heir of the family'.I could feel the love even from miles away.Note the sarcasm.Not even a 'how you doing my ed up kid?'.Only precautions,like I am a living breating vulcano ready to erupt over the entire Russel Empire and bring it to ruins.Of course mother dearest had important matters that needed to be taken care of immediately and couldn't be bothered.Dad sounded surprised I didn't came home with my tail between my legs and some life lessons I wouldn't forget in my whole life by then.Hard to think your daughter can do something,manage on her own,apart from cause wherever she went.But it was alright.I was used to it.It didn't matter anymore.

      After all the hard work,once in a while a well deserved day off would come.The thing was me and Zico spent it at the studio,him working on the album and I was sulking in his lap.I was used by now with his pouty expression and the way his brows furrowed when he was thinking,but I still found it very cute.I gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek but he continued staring at his laptop.Smooch.Still ignoring me...Smooch!I kissed him harder but nothing...Arrogant producer...I kissed him more,each time he barely budged so I bit his neck.

      'I'm working dolly.Whats the problem?' He sighed,rubbing the sore spot I left on his neck and looked at me.Finally,a reaction!

      'That's the problem!' I screeched too close to his ear as he cringed.Thought he got used to it by now.

      'You know I have to finish this...Our first photo shoot is in 2 weeks and from there it begins...'

      'But it's a day off!' I whinned.'They are called days off 'cause it's supposed to be a day when you don't do this.'I explained like he was mentally defiecient.

      'An hour and I' done for the day.' He pecked my cheek as I sighed and put my head on his shoulder.My phone started ringing after with an unknown number.Probably wasn't anything important but I was bored so I picked up.

      'Hello miss...Russel.'The voice on the other side spoke.

      'Uhm...hi?'

      'I'm the representant of the insurance company that takes care of Ms. Carter's...needs and I noticed you are the only person on the contact list.' Hearing this my heart rate went crazy and I felt the words die in my throat.I got up from Zico's lap as he looked at me but I motioned for him to stay and I went into the halway.

      'Did...d-did something happen?' I asked but failed too keep my voice even.

      'Unfortunately her state isn't better and her medication needs to be changed.The mood swings are more frequent as are the delirious episodes.'Like it could get any better.

      'Right.Like always...you can do whatever it's necessary...All the treatments will be paid.' I gulped,but my voice stll sounded strained.

      'We also called to announce you we're not sure how long she is going to...' The lady began in a businesslike manner.

       'How long?'I interrupted,sick of hearing...You're talking about a human being ,not a piece of furniture.

       'The doctors prognistic is somewhere near the end of this year if nothing else changes.' Like what?Her husband and son rising from the dead?'We were thinking you might want to know about the current situation so that would be for know.Thank you for your time and have a good day.'

      'Same.' I let out a shaky breath I didn't notice I was holding and tried to clear my mind.Not her too....If I believed in God I would have prayed and begged in that moment,but I knew it was useless.Like I said to Zico...

        'Didn't know you where a christian.'I said,looking at his chest where the words 'John the Apostle' were written next to a womans portrait(probably his mothers). 

        'What,not a believer?' He joked.

        'Hm...I believe in myself.' I smiled smugly at him.

       Zico...I went in,told him I needed to take care of something and was out before he could ask why.The same emotion that almost dragged me down before began reaching for me again.The last time it almost consumed me,eaten me alive.I wasn't sad,wasn't grieving,those feelings I could have dealt with and they passed.I was mad.Mad because Robert died,soon after Alex was murdered and that left Olivia in pieces,and me almost empty,numb.I made it out of the studios and faced the clear sky and the quiet,peaceful streets as the sun was setting down.The only thing out of place was me and my demons,the things that were alright made me feel even more scarred,broken.And I was.I'd always be.I turned left then right and stooped,panting heavily.I hadn't realised I was running 'till I was out of breath.I sat on a bench,bracing my knees and fighting the memories...

       If look at how it was before,it seems like another world.An almost perfect one.Mine and Alex's families were business partners and I knew him since I was little.He was kind,sweet,carring and like any other girl I fell in love irremediably.Like me,he was the only heir of his parents company,put under lots of pressure,with the world watching your every move.It was nice knowing you'r not alone.And I really was since the distant relationship between me and my parents wasn't new.But it really hurt when I was little.Their place was filled by Robert and Olivia,Alex's parents,who,even with all their wealth,hadn't forgot some values on the way.I spent most of the time at their house,in their company and my parents saw in Alex a great deal as he was expected to come out a firstclass businessman,so they approved of our relationship.He was perfect.He had the looks,intelligence and charisma.He had it all but besides everything he choose me.Plain me.

      Later I realised if that time I would have been stripped of my family's fame and money I would have been a nobody.He knew that as he was the same,but said that being a nobody 'now' makes you want to be somebody 'after'.He studied and worked hard to major in the business department at Harvard as I went on with my classic dance courses and was about to get a scholarship when I graduated.Waltz,ballet,tango,in other words countless hours of practice and countless hours of trying to become someone.Even with the strictness and severity that the dances required,outside the danceroom my bubbly,clumsy self was always present.

     From an outsiders point of view I had a good life.Better than most and I was glad to .But everything went downwards after.A car accident put Robert in coma.That devasteted me and Alex but Olivia wouldn't believe it was hes husband.She didn't want to at first but Robert died and I tried to be there and support them.Robert had to take his fathers place soon after my 17th birthday and he wanted it to be special.That day I found him dead in his apartment,murdered.It was like something took the air out of my lungs and I was a ghost,but it seemed like the last blow for Olivia as she tried to kill herself,ending up into a sanatorium.

      Carter Enterprise was about to collapse but my parents came in the picture and rised the company off the ground,making it a branch of the Russel empire.Funny how my parents could make so much out of someones missery.They were the only ones benefitting from their deaths and were seen as the good guys too.Compasionate to their friends loss,the news said.'Another VIP drama'.The media wanted a story,and I seemed like the right person.As the grieving,sadness and pain started to fade,numbness was enveloping me almost as fast as the wrath was consuming my soul.I wasn't wearing tutus anymore,wasn't smiling,didn't know or care if I was still living.The places I went were full of reporters,cameramans and photographers.I ended up beating some of them,while my parents tried to calm down the storm named 'Alexandra Russel'.

       My rage wouldn't go away,so I left.I took my car keys and drove,ending up in Brooklyn.Walking the streets aimlessly,one night I came upon some lame excuses for a person.Maybe punks or thiefs,for me just faceless bodies.I was alone,easy prey.They came towards me,grinning but I could care less.Could be what I was looking for,to see how Alex felt when he died.I just missed him.The guys suddenly stopped in their tracks and I felt someone behind me.That was Andre,the most wicked nigga I had ever seen in my whole life and also the one who slapped some sense back in me.If taking a total stranger in your home doesn't sound crazy enough he also was 'the ' around those streets,he was 'someone' respected.I remained at his place for a few months,he even taught me 'how niggas dance 'round'' or breakdance in normal people language.Andre made me promise I would continue dancing and he found out who I was just two days before I left.I thought he wouldn't take it too good but hell,I could still remember what he said when he walked me to the airport.'If I knew you were filthy rich I would have demanded rent princess but think that baby outside would make up for it.'He said,reffering to the Mercedes parked outside.I hugged him as tight as I could,knowing I'd miss the weirdo.'And do not ing forget you don't have the right to feel like Blue!Oh oh!Almost forgot!If you do I'll slap you for sure!' He yelled after me,and I gave him my middle finger,the best way to show we love eachother.

       I went back 'home',or a big and empty space,call it whatever you want.I kept my promise and continued dancing,replacing the tutu and ballet flats with jeans and hightops.I got better and began living my life.I got to Korea,I made friends,I met Zico.Olivia had nothing.Alex's death was more than she could have handled and it crushed her.I'm surprised she lived three more years and she's still hanging...

      The sky was pitch black and I was stiff but the wet thing nudging my head broke my train of thoughts.I lifted my head and was greeted by a sloppy kiss.In front of me stood a big mane of chocolate colored fur,with a funny smile and big black eyes.The dog stared at me,nudged my hand and whimpered.

       'I'm alright doggy,no need to cry.' I smiled and patted his head.As I was bent down,we had the same height.The dog barked and me again while I rolled my eyes and giggled.

       'I am so sorry! Are you alright?' Someone came beside me and the dog,who wiggled his tail and jumped around hapilly.I stood up and looked at the girl in front of me,who thankfully knew english.'No Bruno! Bad dog sit!' He scolded the bubble of energy.

       'It's ok.He didn't do anything wrong.' I assured and smiled.

       'You sure?I thought he scared you.'

       'Really.I was just...around.' I finished,not knowing how to explain why I was crouched on a bench alone for no apparent reason and realised I had been crying.Lovely...I whipped my eyes with the hem of my shirt and smiled awkwardly at the girl.'Is this your dog?'I changed the subject.

        'Yes,but I can't keep Bruno anymore so I'm taking him to my brother and his friends,hoping they can take care of him...'He smiled and petted her canine friend.

        'Where you heading?I should go find my boyfriend...He must've thrown a fitt by now.' I rememberd how I left Zico without an explanation probably some hours ago.We walked together until we were near the boys dorm where some people were yelling at each other.As me,Sae and Bruno came closer the figures spotted us.One of them ran to me and hugged me.

         'What the hell were you doing?'Zico said,nestling his head in my neck.'You leave me without a word,just disappear.Are you insane dolly?'I chuckled and hugged him back.

         'Sorry.Had some things to deal with.' He let go of me while Kyung,Taeil,Minhyuk,U-Kwon,Jaehyo and P.O came too.Kyung hugged Sae and the others greeted her as well.I looked at them confused then Kyung explained.

         'Blue,that's my noona,Park Sae Him.' She bowed and I nodded at her.Oh...here's the brother and the friends.

         'So Jihoo-ah is your boyfriend.And Kyungie,we already met on the way here.' Me and Sae laughed.After all the boys scolded me for my Houdini stunt they played with Bruno,who was thrilled with all the attention.Sae explained why she brought Bruno but Kyung said he couldn't keep him,because their dorm was too crowded anyway.

         'If it doesn't bother anybody I could take him in.' I offered.

         'You sure?' Sae asked.

         'I like him.And I have enough space.' I shrugged,Sae thanked me and we talked a little more then she left,the boys went inside and Zico walked me and Bruno home.After I came,Zico wouldn't let me go.He was either hugging me or holding my hand.'Why so touchy?' I .He pulled my hand as his other went around my waist and smirked.

         'Won't let you go again.' He said a little too seriously and I chuckled.

         'You sure Bruno isn't your relative?' I asked as Bruno barked at the Zico for not getting any attention.Zico frowned at me and I laughed out loud.

          Author's Note:

        Here are some pictures of Alex Carter(Francisco Lachowski).