CNU’s P.O.V

I didn’t really know what was going on with everyone any more.

It had been just over a week since I went to the club with Jinyoung and Gongchan. I got a little drunk and from what I can remember I was dancing with a bunch of girls, but I didn’t take any of them home with me.

When it was time to leave there, I couldn’t find Jinyoung or Gongchan, but I was tired and drunk, so I just assumed that they were both together and safe, and that they would be able to find their own way home.

It turns out that they had already done that, as when I got home and walked past their bedroom, all I could hear was Gongchan screaming Jinyoung’s name. And it put horrible mental images into my mind.

So it was needless to say that Jinyoung and Gongchan were now a couple with a very healthy life. Not that I knew if they even were a couple, or maybe they just did this kind of thing together when they were drunk. It was probably a good idea, like a silent mutual agreement between the two of them saying that if they were drunk then they could just have . It sure beats waking up with some random girl in your bed, who, most of the time, is ugly as . My standards sure do drop when I’ve had a drink.

I don’t think that Baro and Sandeul have done it yet, I haven’t heard anything from their room, and there’s almost always someone in the dorm at the same time as them, it’s nice to know that they’re in a serious relationship and aren’t just with one another for the . That is unless Sandeul doesn’t want to do it now.

And there it goes again, that guilt eating me up.

I didn’t blame him. I just hoped that he would have enough love and trust for Baro to let him past the wall I had forced him to build up, to let him sleep with him, and to enjoy it too.

Currently, I was sat watching TV. Some uninteresting cooking show featuring some idols. I really wasn’t paying any attention.

My phone vibrated and I pulled out my phone.

‘Hey, I was wondering if you were free today. We could maybe go for a coffee? Call me ~ ^^ Ga Yoon.’

I sighed as I looked down at the phone, what was I thinking? I couldn’t just start randomly going out for dates with her like this.

That’s if it was a date.

She hadn’t said specifically if it was or wasn’t.

Maybe I should? It might take my mind off of Baro and Sandeul’s relationship, not that I was jealous of it.

Ok I might have been, but it’s my own fault Sandeul doesn’t like me and as a biual guy, I never really know what I want, or what other people want either. It really . Most of the time the girls I meet just want , but that wasn’t the case with Sandeul, I don’t know if it was his personality or if it was just because he’s a guy... I can’t really think straight anyway when I’m drunk.

‘I’ll meet you at the coffee shop in half an hour ~ Dong Woo.’

Even if I didn’t want to go on a date with her, I found myself typing out a reply anyway, it would be good to see someone and get my mind off of things.

‘I’m looking forwards to it ~ Ga Yoon.’

Good for her.

I ignored that message and just got dressed, not wanting to respond in case I got her hopes up.

Ten minutes later I was ready, and I set off to the coffee shop near our dorm.

When I got there, Ga Yoon was already there, sitting in a booth near to the window, her hair curled over her shoulder and a cup of steaming coffee between her hands, looking out at the passersby on the street.

“Hey.” I said softly, going to sit opposite her.

“Oh, hi.” She replied with a small smile, “I bought you a coffee.” She nodded her head towards the coffee cup that was sitting near the window, and I hesitantly took it, giving her a small smile of thanks, already feeling awkward.

Not wanting to make small talk and make her like me, I just sipped the coffee gently, hoping to pass the time like that, but unfortunately, she decided to break the silence.

“It’s nice to have company for once.” She smiled sweetly at me, placing her cup down and fiddling with the sleeves of her pink coat.

“You have plenty of company don’t you? What about the other members of 4 Minute? You don’t spend time with them?” I replied, wanting to seem polite, but keeping a bored tone to my voice, doing my best to hint that this wasn’t going to be a regular thing.

“I meant male company.”

“Oh.” I replied, feeling myself tense up a little, “Well, what about B2ST? Being from the same company and all-”

“No. None of them want me.” She cut me off with a depressed tone to her voice. “Hyunseung is with Hyuna, but Junhyung as a thing for her, Yoseob and So Hyun are together, Ji Yoon is with Dong Woon and Ji hyun... well theres something going on with her, Doojoon and Gikwang, but I’m not sure what it is, no one really knows.”

“But what about Jinyoung?” I found the question just slipping out of my mouth. “You only just broke up with him.”

“We’d been drifting apart.” She confessed with a sigh, looking back out of the window and taking a sip of her coffee before she continued. “I really like the guy, even started thinking about having a future with him.” She scoffed. “You know, kids and a house and a dog.” She nodded, the corner of twitching into a smile. “I wasn’t trying to kid myself, I knew we were heading for a break up, but it might have been easier if he told me he was gay. I wouldn’t have minded, I would have supported him, but walking in on him and another man in bed together.” She paused again, this time taking a deep and shaky breath.”

“It’s ok.” I tried to comfort her.

“No it’s not. You don’t know what it’s like. Seeing something that you wish you’d never seen that changes your life in an instant.”

It was true, I’d never seen it.

But I had done it.

I didn’t respond and we both fell into an empty silence, sipping our coffee and looking everywhere but at each other.

“You wouldn’t do something like that Dongwoo? You’re a good guy.”

I felt my cheeks heat up. I wasn’t a good guy. Not at all.

“I wouldn’t do that.” I said in a small voice, but in all honesty, I wanted to tell her about all the things I had done, next to which, doing that seemed like nothing.”

“Come on I need some fresh air.” She sighed, taking a final sip of her coffee and standing up.

I followed her, happy I didn’t get chance to spill everything to her.

When we were outside the coffee shop we walked down the hill and towards the park, the pink trees looked beautiful, and despite it being autumn, they were still in full colour, matching Ga Yoon’s coat.

“You’d tell your girlfriend if you were gay wouldn’t you?” She asked, and I felt a pang of guilt hit me, was this her way of asking me if I was straight? If I was interested in her?

“I’m biual.” I confessed and Ga Yoon stopped walking, looking up at me with wide eyes, before nodding slowly. “What? Homophobic now your boyfriend turned gay?” I snapped, feeling a little self conscious at the way she had just looked at me.

“No I just-”

“Thought I was straight?” I chuckled. “You seem desperate.” I mumbled.

“I don’t care.” She snapped back, making me stop and look at her. I know that if any of the girls I had slept with knew that I was biual they would have been that turned off they wouldn’t have even looked at me in that club in the first place. “I don’t care if you’re biual.”

“Actually I’m panual.” I shrugged, “there’s a difference, but I won’t go into detail.”

“Don’t be embarrassed by it, I still like you.” She confessed, blushing hard, before turning and walking quickly down the path.

I hurried after her, catching her by the wrist and pulling her back.

“I like you too, but I won’t go out with you if that’s what you wanted.” I stated. Ga Yoon looked down, giving me a small nod of understanding. No. She didn’t understand at all. “I want to.” I found the words just slipping out before my min could even process what was going on. “I just can’t do it to Jinyoung. He doesn’t deserve it, and honestly, if I had to choose between you and him, we all know what the answer would be. I’m sorry.”

And with that I turned and began to walk back to the dorm.

I lied.

I did want it to be a date.

I'm sorry it's so short, but I literally just finished writing it... I'm so sorry about being so unorganised, I have been so busy this week OTL.

So... Happy birthday to....

Lay

And Henry

And next up is Big Bang's teaser image!

And the teaser image for next chapter! (Gosh this is a lot of images haha)