Jinyoung’s P.O.V

As I sat there watching TV, I heard a knock at the door. Who could that be? I stood up and walked over to the door and opened it slightly, peering through the small gap between the door and its frame. When I saw who it was I opened it fully. What is she doing here? 

“JINYOUNG!!” Ga Yoon cried, before pulling me into a tight hug.

“Noona! It’s so nice to see you! ... But what you doing here?” I asked. 

“You invited me you pabo.” She replied, playfully tapping my shoulder.

When the hell did I...?

Oh yeah! Crap! I completely forgot! Sandeul is supposed to be cooking...Oh ! I forgot, he’s out!

“C-come in.” I stuttered, gesturing for her to enter. I closed the door and followed her into the living room. 

“So what's for dinner.” She smiled sweetly, making herself comfy in my seat. 

“I don't know... Sandeul is out buying some things to cook for us.” I lied. Honestly, I had no idea where Sandeul had gone. 

“Okay!” She sang as I took the seat next to her. She wrapped her arms around my waist and placed her head gently against my chest. "I’ve missed you." She mumbled against my shirt. 

“I’ve missed you too Noona.” I replied, her hair lovingly.

We sat there in silence for a moment. It was easy to tell that Ga Yoon was thinking about me, every so often, she’d shift in position and snuggle closer to me, but my mind was elsewhere. Stop it Jinyoung! You’re with your girlfriend! Stop thinking about Sandeul and think about her.

Yes, ok, I admit it, I was thinking about Sandeul.

I wasn’t quite as angry with him as I was before, but he needed to learn his lesson. I guess Noona won’t find out if he keeps his gob shut. After all, he can’t really help how he feels.

He can’t help if he likes me.

Just like I can’t help if I’m not truly in love with Ga Yoon.

Sandeul’s P.O.V

When the taxi pulled up, I paid the driver and made my way slowly up the stone steps outside of our dorm. I didn't want to speak to anyone, I just wanted to go to bed, curl up into a ball to in the warmth of my duvet and sleep.

I walked through the door, took my shoes off and placed them on the shoe rack next to the door. As I was about to go to my room, I felt a hand wrap itself around my wrist and pull me roughly into the kitchen, practically throwing me into the fridge.

“Yah!” I shouted, rubbing my wrist, which had been squeezed so hard that it was now red.

"Don't be such a baby!” Jinyoung raised his voice.

I looked up to see him looking rather annoyed. What have I done wrong now? I felt my eyes open wide with the shock of being thrown into the kitchen and yelled at for no apparent reason.

“H-hy-” I started. 

"Don't you dare call me Hyung.” He spat, moving his face close to mine, until our noses where practically touching. I flattened myself against the fridge and closed my eyes tightly; scared he was going to hit me again.

“You are going to cook for me and Ga Yoon Noona.” He stated harshly.

“B-but Hyung I-”

Jinyoung moved his face closer to mine, if that was even possible. I dared to open my eyes a little, and looked up into his beautiful, deep, brown eyes. This gaze on him making me regret ever telling anyone I liked him, making me wish I could have him all to myself. It’s so unfair!

“I said you will cook... Or else.” That was the last thing he said before he left. I felt tears stinging in the back of my eyes. I hurriedly got something out of the fridge and started cooking, the whole time wiping away the tears that escaped my eyes. I loved cooking, it was one of my favourite things to do, so why did I feel this low? Why do I feel like today is all my fault? My umma kicking my out of the hospital, Jinyoung threatening me.

It's because it was.

I'm nothing. I'm stupid. I cause problems.

It’s no wonder everyone hates me! I'm just a pathetic waste of space. When I finished Jinyoung and Ga Yoon Noona’s food I told Jinyoung before making my way to my room. 

He barely even acknowledged me.

I didn’t want this anymore!

How long was it going to go on for?

Collapsing down onto my bed, I thought of all the things that had happened. Why am I still letting this go on? My Appa is dying, and it’s painful, because I know I mean nothing to him, yet I still want to be there for him. I have no reason for this to go on.

Everyone hates me.

I know Jinyoung wishes I were dead, and I don’t blame him for despising me. I deserve his hatred. My Umma was right. Being gay is a sin. It’s wrong, it hurts others and it hurts yourself. It’s dirty and disgusting, you shouldn’t think about people of the same as you in that way, it’s abnormal. I’m abnormal.

Everything would be better if I just made it all stop.

I reached out a shaking hand towards the knife I had brought with me from the kitchen, holding it steadily in my trembling hand. This was never what I wanted. They couldn’t forgive me, I’m a monster, I know that. This was the only way to make it stop.

I curled up inside my duvet, biting my lip and squeezing my eyes shut as I brought the knife closer to my wrist, biting on my bottom lip, knowing it was going to hurt.

All I could feel was the freezing cold blade pressing against my wrist and the burning tears rolling down my face.

I'm sorry it's so short and not very good :( But I kinda needed to stop it here in order for the next chapter to be very good!

I'm so excited to upload it!!! xD

I bet you can tell how much I am anticipating the next one just by the teaser image.

It doesn't give too much away, but I think it looks exciting! Don't you ? :3

Be sure to talk to me in the comments! I don't bite

The other authour is on Hiatus now, but it's me that usually updates and talks to you in comments and things, so it should't make much difference, only that the chapters coming up soon will all be in my style of writing xD

Wow that was a long AN!!!

Here is the teaser image :)